Chap Chap 13 The New Headmaster
"Ron hurry the fuck up I wanna watch the darc nigyht rises!" harry said. he was mad!
"ron!" hermione said. ron didn't say anything or even a thing. at all.
"what the fuck?! what is wrong with you ron?" harry said. harry and hermione went upstairs and saw ron on the floor. his ears were big.
"ron?" hermine said.
"Gleg blerg forg. Ah ah ahno! Blerb. Exit. " ron said.
"What?" harry said.
"What Ron what?" hermione said. she started to shake ron hard.
"Blooga blago voga kooper." Ronny said.
"whant the fuck is wrong your hearing ears?" harry said.
"Moog...mooger." ron said.
"oh deary me me." ron's dad mr. weasly said.
"oh yes." ron's mom mrs. wesely said.
"i think something bad and wrong happened to ron after he saw me sticking it in my wife. but i was doing so good, i couldn't stop!" mr. weasley said as he winked at hermione and smiled big at her.
"yes i think something's wrong with our son ron weasley." mrs. weasly said,
"AHEE AHEE AHEE!" ron shriekd as he saw his parents and passed out.
"did you hear that harry?" hermione said.
"no what?"
"ron only speaks gibberish now after seeing his parents fuck. don't you understand he only speaks gibberish now after seeing his parents fuck harry!" hermine said!
"oh no! no!" harry said.
"Blork a kork jork fork find... me...the... gure...wert...wert-wert...quibbiggly fobbledly doop. Bloobity blop blop fop fuck." ron said.
"we gotta get ron to a doctor to see if their is a cure and a gure ron is talking about and a cure!" hermione said.
"ok i know and i agree." harry said.
"let us head back to hogwards!" hermione said.
"OK ALRIGHTO!" harry said. they got in the magic flying car with ron as ron's parents started to have sex again on the couch.
they got to the nurses office to see madam poppy pomfree and neville was there! but he was in a body cast!
"what happened to himn?" harry said. he was nervous and was sweating a lot because he knew what he did to nevalle but he asked anyway.
"he fell off the fucking school. he won't be able to talk for a long time or a little bit." the nurse lady said.
"cool" harry said.
"can you cure our ffriend ron "ronny" weasley" ermione said.
"yes he has a disease called seeinghisparentsfuckitusingus, he'll need day to recover so his ears will retract and sheet." poppy pepper pomfreet said.
"why are his ears big?" harry said.
"what" pomfree said.
"why are his ears big and ginorousmus?" herminoe said.
"be the blood rushed ot his ears instead of his weiner when he witnessed his parents engaging in that thing called sex or fucking or whatever. as i said before they'll go down once i get him the cure. " pomrfey explained with lots of information.
"ok that is very interesting" harry and herminoe said. they went back to their dormytor and collin was there waiting for harry. he was naked and started running and doing carthweels around harry then jumped around.
"step the fuck away collin, you homo bro, what the fuck is fucking wrong with you! FUCK!" harry said. he was mad.
"do you like it harry? I call it the harry dance." collin said as he spun around and whipped his junk back and forth.
Collin performed the Harry Dance for Harrys
"this is the grand finale harry, watch this" collin said as he stood in front of harry.
"collin...what the fuck." harry said.
"WINDMILL WINDMILL WINDMILL!" colon said and sang as he spun his cock around like a windmill.
"you little odd windmill fuckjob you! you went too far this fucking time" harry said. he grabbed collin's fist and put tons of magic super glue on it and shoved it up collin's ass. REALLY far up collin's ass. It was glued to his colon so he couldn't get it out!harry punched collin in the knee so he fell down and broke his arm because it was assjammed up his ass. harry kicked collin in the ribs. harry grabbed his crotch. " see this? you'll never have this! fag!" collin started to cry and harry rolled him down the stairs. "find the nursre office on your own. bitch" harry said.
"studs and students!" the intercom said. "PROGRESSOR DUMB BULL DORE HAS ANNOUCMENT. GO TO THE GRNAD HALL NOW! OK?!"
"I'm a stud." harry said.
" i wonder what hte profressor wants." hermione said.
"i'm a stud, so I'll go and find out." harry said.
"i'm a student." herminoe said.
"ok" harry said.
they went to the Great Hall and there were pamflets and shit on the table. dumbledore was wearing a suit.
"i have a big announcment. I am getting my own movie called Professor Dumblefore the Movie." dumbeldore said.
the students cheered.
"but that's not all children. I also am also getting my own website called dumblr which is like tumblr but only about the best person in this rooom... ME! ME ME! MEE!" dumbledore said in a squeaky voice. "let us take a look at the website." he opened up power point on his macbook and showed the students a lot of helpful information about dumblr. it was mostly naked pictures of dumblrdore's old dumblredore.
"and I will be making my own line of magic doors called Dumble Doors. And my very own line of toilets called Dump-L-Doors." dumbledoor said. he brought out a bunch of Dumbel Doors and a Dumb L Door. THe Dump L Door was like his face but on a toilet. his beard was the toilet paper. It was brown instead of grey.
"so i'm doing all this shit, i will be rolling in deep in cash money, so I can't be headmaster anymore!" dumbledore said.
"aw why professor dumbledore why?" the students all said at once with great sadness.
"because i'll be doing all this shit and rolling in deep in cash money..."dumbledore got on the podium and started to sing "I could have had it all Rolling in the deep You had my heart inside your hand And you played it to the fucking beat"
Harry looked at one of the pamphets, all it said was "Dumbledore gets his own movie and a website called Dumblr along with his own line of magic doors called Dumble Doors. "
"so while i'm gone i'ma make a new headmaster in my abesence and that person is... HARRY POTTER!" dumbledor said. he pointed at harry and harry floated to the stage.
"oh wow ... why me? WHY ALBUS?" harry said.
"i dunno bitch. good luck though. enjoy your free t shirt" dumbledore said. he ran away. harry put on his shirt that said "headmaster". He was really scared! he ran to the dormitory and cho chang was there crying.
"what are you doing here bitch?!" harry said.
"i did something really bad harry!" cho chang said.
"yeah you didn't get with me, that's always a bad choice." harry said as he flexed his muscle.
"no harry... i cheated on collin!" cho chang said.
"ha! he's not a man like me with MMA training and magic up the ass." harry said.
"i slept with other guys after he got injured harry. harry!" cho chang said.
"what?" harry said.
"i'm pergnant!" cho chang said.
"WHA?" harry said. he spun around a few times and passed out.