14. Harry Potter the forteenth Shapter.

chapter 14: harry and cho's big fucking date in hogzmeed

harry was feeling pretty frulting legit, he was the headmester but cho chang was pregnant so that sucked.

"at least the kid's not mine" harry said as he decreed that all clances were cassled. (heh)

"actually harry it could be. I am cho chang. you were one of the four thousand students I fucked this year."

"I DID?!" harry said as he ran up to the ceiling and freaked the fuck out while listening to dubstep.

"yeah remember we did last night at the party."

harry nearly exploded in more ways than one when he erfed those words into his hearing ears.

"yeah. I'll date you now I guess."

"YOU WIIILL!L!" Harry said as he high fived himself. he ran to a magic skype station and called ron.

"hey ron."

"fup?"

"cho chang's gonna date me"

"but she's pregnant with a child."

"yeah but she's gonna go out with me."

"that's cool I guess but you'll have to deal with having a kid and stuff."

"yeah but I might get to fuck her."

"she's not that great in bed harry."

"yeah whatever fuck you ron and go fuck yourself by yourself you fucking ginger fuck. Fuck you. fuck you."

"talk to you later harry."

"yeah you too."

"let's go to hogsmede cho chang for our first date."

"yeah whatever."

They went to hogsmede on their first date. it was snowing which harry thought was fucking romantic. he tried to make out with cho chang but she looked away.

"FUCK YOU BITCH I THOUGHT WE WERE DATING!" he screamed and jumped and fist pumped angrily. He was really really mad!

"let's go look at stuff here."

"okay! maybe we can make out and sex later!"

harry and cho went to each place in the hogsmede and they saw stuff. harry had lots of wizard money now that he was headmaster and he made it rain in every place and asked cho chang to strip for him but she almost did and then she didn;t.

"hey harry now that you're the headmaster can you sign this paper that passes all my fucking classes." cho chang said after the hanging out was done.

"yes! anything for youuuu!" harry said as he signed it with his "wand" which he dipped in ink.

"actually harry I lied to you." she pulled a pillow out from her shirt

"the fuck where's the baby."

"i was just pretending to have a baby and go on a date with you because I wnated you to pass me because I fucking hate this school and want to gradutate. and also you're a fucking nerd with glasses and fuck. You're ugly."

"b-bub you said we had sexual intercourse!"

"I lied about that too. you're so desperate to fuck me that you'd believe me if I told you we did when we did fucking not fuck."

chang cho left and harry fucking cried and shit. ron and hermy showed up.

"hello harry potter. what is wrong?"

"it's just that fucking bitch cho chang is a fucking bitch and she used me. being the headmaster sucks."

"it's too bad we'll have to get revenge now."

ron and hermione took off their ron and hermione costumes to show that they were actually...MALFOY AND VOLDEMORT! voldemort was still malfoy's ass.

"hey potter, I've had fucking time to shit around and preplan my revenge."

"you got a voldemort on your butt."

"harry we have formed the we hate harry as headmaster club. WHHAH!" voldemort said. suddenly a lot fucking of the students at hogwarts, snape and some of the other teachers sur fucking rouned him.

"why the fuck."

"because you're the worst headmaster of the school ever. even worse than drumplederp who was fucked in the head. and we hate you. so now, we're gonna kill you."

voldemort threw up a remote control. malfoy pushed the big red button on it.

"harry do you know what happened in pearl harbor"

"no"

"it was this place that the world war 2 japenese attacked. this device opens up magic time portals. our team is gonna be really big now."

a time portal opened above hogwarts. a bunch of world war 2 japan planes came through it and started bombing hogwarts.

"hey harry...colin creevy was still inside but everybody else escaped the school." voldemort said with magical elements.

"hahahahahahahahahahahaa" everyone even harry said. colin creevy was dead.

"but seriously harry you better run away back into the ruins of the school, which is now destroyed, if you wanna fucking try and stop us."

"Okay"

harry ran into the school and found a bunker to hide from the world war 2 japan planes. his friends were there, and cho chang.

"harry what happened harry the school is being attacked." hermione said.

"harry!" ron said.

"malfoy made a bunch of world war 2 japan planes come from time travel to today to attack hogwarst and they got a bunch of teachers and students on their side because they all hate me because they dit'nt think I be a good headmaster."

"but fuck harry. shit."

"we gotta fuck their shit up." hermione said.

"how the fuck hermione."

"we need the united states army."