PART FIVE

The broom, dustbin, mop, and bucket were clustered in the corner and Kurt was pushing the island back into place when Alice stepped into the damp, shiny kitchen. She held a thin notebook in her hand and her expression was wry.

"I'm just about done in here," Kurt told her without looking up. "And yes, I did get under the stove if that is what you were going to ask."

Alice's lips tightened further.

"No, I wasn't going to ask that. Actually, the kitchen looks great. We should get you to do the cleaning up more often."

Kurt looked up then with a scowl. Alice's lips twitched when she saw his expression, but they didn't quite break into a smile. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the counter, his tail swishing around his ankles in an open display of his annoyance.

"So, you're still blaming me for all this, then?"

"Oh, yes," Alice nodded somberly. "I wasn't convinced before, but now I'm certain. This is entirely your fault."

With a flick of her wrist, she frisbeed the notebook across the room to him.

The annoyance in Kurt's golden eyes narrowed into wary curiosity as he caught the spinning notebook.

Unable to hold her smile back any longer, Alice's face broke into an enormous, toothy grin.

"Why are you smiling like that?" he asked. "What is this?"

"Proof," Alice said, still grinning. "Go on, open it."

"Prank List," Kurt read, crossing slowly over to his wife. "Magnets…salt…hair dye…kippers? Isn't this Marta's handwriting? Where did you find this?"

"It was on Marta's bedside table. I was doing a sweep for dirty laundry when I spotted it. I was afraid it was something she needed for school, but when I opened it, I saw that list. Looks to me like all three of them were in on it."

Kurt snapped the notebook shut.

"I knew there was something fishy going on. Those kids seemed entirely too giggly this morning."

He shook his head.

"I have to admit it, though," he said. "They really took me in. When Marti and Edmund confronted me in the hall this morning, I thought they were genuinely upset. But all the time they were establishing an alibi!"

He frowned darkly, but after a moment he looked up, his expression softening somewhat.

"The pranks were really good, though, weren't they."

Alice nodded.

"Oh yes, definitely. I didn't think it was quite fair putting salt in Moira's coffee, but I really liked the one they pulled on poor Alistaire. All in all, I must say I was deeply impressed by their cunning. But then, they did learn from the master."

She smirked.

"Told you this was all your fault."

Kurt didn't seem amused.

"Right," he said dryly, casting his gaze around the damp kitchen. "I'd be proud if I wasn't so angry."

"They have caused a lot of trouble, haven't they," Alice agreed. "Straining team relations just before an intelligence mission."

She looked up into his eyes, her expression crafty.

"So, what are you going to do to get them back?"

"I'm afraid it's not that simple, Schatz," Kurt told her. "You see, our children have set me up. I can't simply get them back without falling deeper into their trap. I'd be giving them exactly what they want."

Alice tilted her head. "You mean they want you to prank them?"

"Exactly. They were literally begging me this morning. But if I play along, it would ruin my credibility with the team. Kitty, Moira, and Brian would never believe I wasn't responsible for this morning if I got caught up in a prank war."

"Sounds like a Catch-22 to me," Alice observed. "If you prank them back, the team will never believe you didn't know about this morning. But if you don't prank them, they get the satisfaction of telling everyone how they out-pranked the master. You lose face either way."

She grinned.

"They got you good, didn't they."

Kurt looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Not as good as you might think, Liebe," he said, starting to brighten. "There is a way for me to get out of this without losing face in front of my kids or my team."

"And what's that?"

Kurt shot his wife a sly smile, the familiar light of mischief brightening his golden eyes.

"Brian and Kitty have to take their revenge on me," he said, already heading for the door. "I need to make a call."

"A call to whom?" Alice called after his departing tail. "Kurt! Don't forget we're due at the chemical plant in half an hour!"

"Just get everyone in the van," Kurt called over his shoulder. "I'll join you in a minute!"

"But who are you going to-"

It was no good. He was already gone. Alice sighed.

"-call?" she finished, simply for the sake of completing the thought.

With one last look around the sparkling kitchen, she flicked the lights out and headed off to collect the rest of the team. She'd find out what Kurt was planning soon enough. He never kept her out of the loop for long.

To Be Continued...