ASHLEY
I walk into the room Haldir's in, intending to tell him that we're almost ready to ride out for Isengard, only to freeze in the doorway at the sight of him topless. His muscles were defined sharply, pale skin stretched over them with only a few scars here and there to mar its perfection. When he turns around and finds me staring he quickly starts looking around for something to cover his bare chest from my view. I lean against the door jamb, giving the elf my best seductive look. "Well hello there."
"If we do what that look suggests you want to do, your Adar will have my head," he smiles, pulling his shirt on with a slight wince," and I am quite fond of my head, a beautiful young Dúnadan told me once that it was pretty." He sends me a meaningful smile at that and I send one back, remembering our first meeting fondly. "Now, why is it you decided to come and visit when, for the past two days, you have avoided me?"
"Um, right," I shake away the thoughts of his bare chest enough to concentrate on the task at hand. "Adar told me to round up the stragglers. We're leaving this place in a couple of minutes." He gives me a look, raising a brow in amusement as my eyes continue to stray down to his now covered chest. Too bad, he looked really good topless, I could deal with a topless Haldir more often to get my blood pumping. "I love your body," I sigh, walking further in the room and wrapping my arms loosely around his neck. "And I love you even though you can be a stubborn ass sometimes."
"Mm, I feel the same way." Haldir's arms wrap around my waist and pull me against him, his lips moving against mine in a gentle kiss. "I'm afraid, though that your father will come looking for us if we take up much more time." Laughing, I lace our fingers together and lead him to the main hall where everyone who's accompanying us has met up.
On horseback, I follow Gandy, Adar, Leggy, Théoden, and Gimli through Fangorn forest, the trees moving out of our way to clear a path. Haldir sits behind me in the saddle, arms wrapped loosely around my waist as I urge Thalion on past the unnerving trees. Ahead are the ruins of Isengard, our current destination. The tall wall that once surrounded it and served as protection is now splintered and broken, three people I thought I'd never see again sitting on one part of it. "Welcome, my Lords and Lady, to Isengard," Merry smiles with an over exaggerated bow. Merry, Pippin, and Kharl are eating, smoking, and drinking to their hearts contents, hardly a mark to be shown while I was covered in bruises and scrapes after the battle.
"You young rascals," Gimli snarls. "A merry hunt you've led us on, and now we find you feasting and smoking!"
"We are sitting on a field of victory," Pippin tells us around a mouth full of food," enjoying a few well-earned comforts. The salted pork is particularly good." Kharl holds up a jar filled with something green with a grin and an eyebrow waggle.
"Is that what I think that is," I ask hopefully," pickles?"
"I don't know," Kharl shrugs with a mischievous smirk," sure smells like pickles." I never moved quicker than I did in that moment, making a mad dash up the wall, ripping the large jar out of Kharl's hands and popping the top, taking a big whiff. "I'm gonna say it is pickles by the look on your face."
"I won't starve," I exclaim with happiness, grabbing a pickle out of the jar and taking a huge bite out of it, relishing the sour taste that I've been missing for so long. Gandy rolls his eyes, muttering under his breath something that sounded like that woman and her food. I would never decline the sour pickles; bread and butter or sweet on the other hand, I would decline in a heartbeat. Those fuckers are nastier than the hookers in Oklahoma during the summer.
"We're under orders from Treebeard," Merry informs us," who's taken over management of Isengard." Haldir leans forward, plucking me off the wall, pickles and all, and places me back in the saddle. The two Hobbits and Kharl hitch a ride with some of the others as Gandy leads the way through the bits and pieces of destruction that are floating in the water. I tense instinctively and lean back closer to Haldir as a giant tree strides over to us.
"Young Master Gandalf, I'm glad you've come," it greets in a slow voice that sounds a bit like a tree does when it's about to fall. The tree's voice is slow, the words stretched out and seeming to be hummed more than anything. "Wood and water, stock and stone I can master, but there's a Wizard to be managed here... Locked in his tower." I could see Adar whispering something, but I wasn't close enough to make it out.
"Be careful," Gandy warns with a look in Aragorn's direction. "Even in defeat, Saruman is dangerous."
"Why can't we just have his head and be done with it," Gimli questions and I nod along with him. If we could just get the old fart out on his balcony, then I could lower him down here without any muss or fuss.
"No, we need him alive. We need him to talk." Well I need some caffeine that isn't coffee, but I doubt I'll ever get that again." From above, a deep voice floats down to us and I know without looking that it's Saruman. Who but the villain could sound so cool yet like such a douche at the same time?
"You have fought many wars and slain many men, Théoden King," Saruman practically sneers," and made peace afterwards." We all glance up at Saruman, Haldir's arms tightening their hold around my waist as the old man glares down at us. He looked similar to Gandalf, but I supposed that was because they both held the position of White Wizard or some shit. "Can we not take counsel together as we once did, my old friend? Can there not be peace between us?" Can I shove my pretty elvish boot up your ass?
"We shall have peace," Théoden nods grimly. "We shall have peace when you answer for the burning of the Westfold and the children that lie dead there! We shall have peace when the lives of the soldiers, whose bodies were hewn even as they lay dead against the gates of the Hornburg, are avenged! When you hang from a gibbet for the sport of your own crows we shall have peace." I had a new respect for the guy after that speech, understanding his rage to a degree since Haldir had nearly been among the dead buried this morning.
"And what business do you have here, Gandalf Greyhame? Let me guess, the Key of Orthanc or perhaps the Keys of Barad-dûr itself, along with the crowns of the seven kings and the rods of the Five Wizards?" Saruman was basically screaming everything he said, like a toddler who was told no for the first time.
"Your treachery has already cost many lives," Gandy states," and thousands more are now at risk, but you could help save them."
"That's it, then? You've come seeking information? I have some for you." He brings something large and black out of his robes, looking from this far down like a child's bowling ball. Is he gonna chunk it at us and hope for a strike? "Something festers in the heart of Middle-earth, something that you have failed to see, but the Great Eye has seen it." The bowling ball is lowered as Saruman stares down at us again. "Even now he presses his advantage. His attack will come soon. You're all going to die."
Whether it was from years of instinct or just wanting to smite him, I raise my chin in defiance and stare at him without fear. "I've got some news for you," I call up to Saruman. "Your buddy with the all-seeing Eye is about two sandwiches short of a picnic and I'm pretty confident that one sharp jab with a stick will bring that fucker down as easily as it would you. Why don't you just bring your ass down here and talk like a civilized person?"
"Quiet, Larien," he growls," I've no need to come down there just to smite you!" I hold my arms out, chest bared to him.
"Come at me, bitch!"
"Ashley Nicole," Kharl snarls from behind me," you shut your goddamn mouth this instant, or so help me, I'll superglue it shut myself!"
"Oh, like you weren't thinking it." I look at him over Haldir's shoulder, taking in his scowl and the pride glowing in his eyes that he wouldn't admit to quite yet. Kharl rolls his eyes, choosing to just bring a small tube of superglue out of his pack and hold it up for me to see. "Fine, but only because I know you'll do it." He'd done it to his old boss before, snuck into the guy's house in the middle of the night and just superglued the poor man's lips together.
"As my companion has stated," Gandalf says, waving a hand in our direction in a shut up gesture," come down and you will be spared." I don't think I ever said he'd be spared, in fact, I'm pretty sure I said I'd fight him.
"Save your pity and mercy," Saruman snaps, sending a fiery ball of magic straight at Gandalf, who had trotted a few feet in front of our group. The flames wrapped around Gandy, making the horses shy away, but the flames cleared in less than a second to reveal an untouched Gandalf. That would have been useful in Moria.
"Saruman, your staff is broken." Directly after the words were spoken, the staff in Saruman's hand exploded into pieces of metal, falling down into the water that covered his lands. I was pretty sure the water would reach about mid-thigh on me since it covered more than half of Thalion's legs. I continue to watch the tower as another man joins Saruman, the pale face peeking out from the dark colors surrounding him belonging to Grima.
"Grima," Théoden calls gently," you need not follow him. You were not always as you are now. You were once a man of Rohan." He was also an angry murder doll, but I suppose that's irrelevant. "Come down."
"A man of Rohan," Saruman questions mockingly. "What is the house of Rohan but a thatched barn where brigands drink in the reek and their brats roll of the floor with the dogs?" I'd prefer dogs to this guy's company. "The victory at Helm's Deep does not belong to you, Théoden Horse-master."
"Who the fuck does it belong to, then," Kharl yells, having been filled in on the big things," because it sure as shit doesn't belong to you! My sister and her…" He trails off, gesturing at Haldir. "…And that guy saw your army high-tailing it into the woods where they even got their asses handed to them by the trees, so why don't you just—"
"Kharl," Théoden says without looking back," please do us all the enormous favor of shutting your mouth." I smile back at Kharl, enjoying the way he immediately began to pout. "Grima," Théoden says again," come down and be free of him."
"Free," Saruman interjects again. "He will never be free!" Ol' Wormtongue must have said something to provoke Saruman because the next thing I know, Saruman slapped Grima across the face and sent him to the floor of the tower.
"You were deep in the enemy's counsel," Gandalf continues from his earlier conversation, drawing Saruman's attention away from Grima. "Tell us what you know!"
"You withdraw your men, and I will tell you where your doom will be decided. I will not be held prisoner here." I could make out Grima getting back to his feet and see the gleam of sunlight on metal, but it wasn't until it was stuck in Saruman's back that I realized Grima held a knife. He just shanked a bitch like it was nothing! Legolas fires a shot and his arrow buries itself in Grima's side, knocking him to the floor once more as Saruman begins a freefall from the tower.
I flinch back as Saruman's body hits the metal water wheel poking out of the flooded land, one of the spikes going right through his body to ensure death. I could feel Haldir tensing behind me, and then his arms were pulling me back against his chest and his cheek rested against the crown of my head.
"Send word to all our allies and to every corner of Middle-earth that still stands free. The enemy moves against us and we must know where he plans to strike." With a horrible groaning sound, the wheel begins to turn, sending something dark in Saruman's robes splashing into the water before Saruman himself is submerged.
"The filth of Saruman is washing away," Treebeard assures us," trees will come back to live here, young trees... Wild trees." Pippin, ever the curios Hobbit, leaps from Adar's horse and makes his way towards something that glows in the water, Adar calling after him and drawing everyone's attention to what Pip was doing. Not looking back, Pip brings the weird black thing out of the murky water, the thing looking less like a bowling ball not that I could see it better. There was something about it, an evil that clung to it, that made me shy away even more. "Well bless my bark!"
"Peregrin Took, I'll take that, my lad." Gandalf's voice is urgent, as though the orb were something dangerous and important. Pippin stays as he is, staring down at the orb in total absorption. "Quickly now!" Reluctantly, Pip holds up the orb for Gandalf, the Wizard quickly covering it up with his pristine white cloak.
*~LATER THAT NIGHT—EDORAS~*
"Tonight," Théoden announces," we remember those who gave their blood to defend this country. Hail the victorious dead!" The crowd of people echoes him, raising their goblets filled to the brim with ale and beer. I sit at one of the tables with Haldir and Kharl on either side of me, laughing as Kharl retells the time when he and I got drunk together for the first time and tried to convince the town's Chief of Police that we were totally sober. "And he tells us to walk in a straight line," Kharl was saying, pausing a moment to take another drink," but, I mean, she can barely walk in a straight line when she hasn't been drinking!"
"Yeah," I nod along with him," so I leaned in close, big mistake since I reeked of Jack Daniels, and I told the cop that I could do a cartwheel better than I could walk in a straight line." Haldir grins, nodding along with my story. "So he told me to go ahead and do a cartwheel, then."
"And what does my lovely sister do? She lies down in the middle of the street and starts rolling around, too drunk to remember what a cartwheel actually was! It seemed funny even as we were put in a drunk tank, but the moment Ash's dad walked in to pick us up the next morning, we knew we were completely fucked." I nod solemnly, wincing at the memory of that horrid ride home. "Not only did we have to suffer through the day with hangovers, but he yelled at us the entire way to my mom's house and then the both of us were forced to work in the gardens until we were sick and our moms decided to take pity on us by spraying us with the watering hose."
"That was the last time we got drunk without a sober person to stop us from doing stupid things."
"Shall I switch to water then," Haldir jokes. "I don't need the two of you trying to dance on tables while drunk."
"Hell, that's minor league stuff compared to the other things we've done."
"I think the worst thing we've ever done is try and smuggle a penguin out of the zoo," Kharl remarks with another laugh. "We'd named him Snuffles, but a guard caught us before we made the gates."
"We've been banned ever since, which makes it a bit difficult to go to his son's field trips." I take another gulp of my drink, wishing for the second time that we had something a bit stronger. After I started drinking in college, I quickly developed a taste for something stronger than beer. A crash from behind us makes all of us turn to see what happened, Kharl and I laughing loudly when we spot Gimli passed out on the floor.
"I've never been that drunk yet." Kharl points at the dwarf with a lopsided grin, bringing his tankard back up to his mouth.
"Not that you remember, anyway!"