Title: Five Times Aramis' Womanizing Got the Musketeers Into Trouble
Author: Victoria LeRoux and Red Tigress
Rating: T
Chapter WC: 883
First Written: March 20, 2014
Posted: March 21, 2014
A/N: This series is co-written between Red Tigress and Victoria LeRoux. Red Tigress wrote this chapter. Thanks for reading and reviewing! Part four should be up tomorrow (Sunday at the latest).

Athos slid easily into the empty seat across the table from their mark. Aramis pulled up a chair behind Athos, watching his back. The man across the table looked startled.

"W-w-who are you?" he stammered, eyes glancing wildly around the dimly-lit tavern.

"Vermeer," Athos lied. "Our mutual friend said I'd be here."

The other man was instantly on his guard. "R-right," he confirmed. Athos was weary. Trevelle had been told that this man had a plan to assassinate the governor of a town outside of Paris. Athos and Aramis had been assigned to get in on the plan under the guise of upset locals and spoken for by their informant. But it was clear the man was unstable, and undercover may not have been the best approach.

"Listen," Athos said, making the effort to make his voice as pleading and desperate as possible. "My brother and I are here because our family's farm has been taxed into oblivion. We can't afford to live anymore, and for that, someone needs to pay. We need to send a message. Can you help us do that?"

"The o-operation's already pretty big," the man whispered, still glancing around. Athos noticed two big, burly men at the bar, scowling in their direction. "I'm not sure I can let m-more people in. The man who's paying me-"

Aramis and Athos shared a glance. "I thought this was your plan," Athos said hesitantly. The whole plan had been to appeal to the man as fellow working-class people who shared common ground. If someone was paying him…

"T-to make…" he trailed off, and Athos felt the floorboards under his chair shift slightly as the two burly men from the bar were suddenly next to him.

"Lawrence, are you telling tales again?" one of them growled.

Athos glanced from Lawrence to them, trying to look nervous, like a farmer who bit off more than he could chew would. Although it was clear they may have bit off more than they could chew.

"Monsiers, I am truly sorry for the egress. I was not aware-"

"Aramis?" a high-pitched, astonished voice sounded from behind the large men. Athos' head swiveled in Aramis' direction. The other man's eyes had gone comically wide, and Athos felt the beginnings of not a little bit of rage creep up within him.

Everyone turned to see a lovely woman that Aramis was pretty sure was the govorner's wife standing behind them looking astonished.

"Madame, you mistake me for someone else," Aramis smiled nervously. Athos turned to glare at his companion, making sure the incredulity was plain on his face.

They all watched, frozen, as first confusion, then disbelief, and then rage flashed across the other woman's face.

"Do not lie sitting right in front of me, Aramis! You wicked man, I should have you arrested," she growled.

Athos' eye twitched. This was why people drank. Aramis shot him a helpless look.

"Madame," one of the men said. "Do you know this man?"

"Indeed I do," she hissed. "This is Aramis of the King's Musketeers."

The men drew their swords, Lawrence yelped, Aramis stood, the woman shrieked, and Athos sank further into his chair in abhorrence.

His antipathy was short-lived when both men thrust their swords towards him and Aramis. Quick as a snake, he drew his own rapier, blocking the downward sweep at his head. Athos kicked out, making the man back away from him as he leapt to his feet. Aramis had done something similar, and now two faced off against two as the woman fled and Lawrence dove under the table.

"I really should leave this to you," Athos grumbled.

"I would not entirely blame you if you did," Aramis admitted.

"Good. Because when I am at your funeral, I will say your death was your own fault. Which it very much will be."

Aramis grimaced and shrugged in response.

Suddenly, the smell of something burning filled Athos' nose. His eyes widened, as he saw the bomb roll in between the four men.

Athos grabbed Aramis and pulled him behind a thick table, turning it down. But as the fuse reached the bomb, there was a hiss and a thick smoke filled the air instead of an explosion. People began coughing and trying to escape the confusion.

Athos, about to reach wit's end, pulled his companion towards where he knew the door to be. They stumbled out into the daylight, and Athos gave Aramis a hefty push. "Set your sights lower," he growled. Aramis coughed, looking at him a little guiltily.

"Funny," he coughed. "Porthos said the same thing, once."

"He was absolutely correct."

There was the squeak of a window being opened, and they saw Lawrence climb out. When the man saw them, he started running in the other direction.

"Get him," Athos ordered. Aramis didn't question it, sprinting after the smaller man.

Athos calmly strode to his horse, fully intent on making Aramis do the rest of the leg work.