Chapter 6: Master and Chairman

A/N: And here's the next chapter in my crossover. I swear, I'm having so much fun writing this, and I hope you're having just as much fun reading it. Now we're going to see how Vincent Kennedy McMahon is dealing with switching with a mutant rat. Thanks to all of those who have read and reviewed thus far. Your support means so much to me.

Disclaimer: TMNT and all related characters are property of Nickelodeon. WWE and all related characters are property of Vince McMahon. I'm just borrowing them for my own amusement.

Vince McMahon groaned as he opened his eyes. He definitely wasn't in the mood for any of this after not getting any love from his wife. He turned to glare at Linda and gasped as he didn't see her. Where the hell was she? He rubbed a hand over his face and felt fur on his face. Now that couldn't be right as he shaved all of the time because Linda always bitched about him being too hairy and looking ugly with a beard. He looked down at his hands and saw that they had claws on them.

"What the hell is going on here?" he demanded. He was dressed in a kimono instead of his usual WWE official boxers. This definitely wasn't his body. He parted the kimono and saw that there was no underwear underneath it. "Dammit, even this guy's grapefruits are bigger than mine!" Determined to get to the bottom of this, he exited his room and saw that he was in a different room with a bunch of weapons in rack against the wall. A grate above let in the sunlight, but Vince wasn't concerned about that. Where was he? He exited this second room and looked around him.

"Dammit, I want answers!" he roared. Then he paused as he heard voices.

"What the hell was that?"

"I don't know. I didn't think anyone else was here."

Vince followed the sounds and parted a curtain to see four turtles in masks sitting at a table. The one in the blue mask stared at Vince and cursed, "Oh shit!"

"Who the hell are you, and why am I here?" Vince demanded.

The Turtle in the blue mask took charge. "I'm John Cena, bitch," he said. "This is Randy Orton, Damien Sandow, and Daniel Bryan." He pointed at each of them as he said their names. "Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Vince McMahon, dammit!" Vince yelled. "Now I want to know which of you did this to me! You'd better tell the truth or you'll be fired."

"None of us had anything to do with this," Randy replied. "We woke up and found ourselves here the same as you did. We're eating breakfast right now and once we're done, we're going to get to the bottom of this. Now if you want anything, I'd be happy to get it for you."

Daniel rolled his eyes. "Oh, sure, you complain when we want breakfast, but as soon as you hear Vince McMahon is here, you automatically want to kiss his ass."

"I'm tired of your shit, Daniel, and you'd better shut up before I make you!" Randy threatened.

"All right, that's enough!" Vince roared. "Just eat your damn breakfast and shut the hell up. As for what I want, I want my beer and porn, so one of you is gonna have to get it for me."

"Oh, not that again, Vince," John groaned. "We already had the yearly beer and porn run a few weeks ago. Besides, we can't really go anywhere in our current states."

"Then you'll search this place until you find some beer and porn," Vince ordered. "And if you don't do what I say, you'll be fired on the spot!"

The Superstars looked at each other and immediately got up from the table to search the Lair. They searched the living area and found nothing. Then Randy searched his room and found a secret compartment that stashed what Vince was seeking.

"Sir, I found it!" he cried. "A secret compartment in my room has what you need!"

Vince ran into the room and grabbed the stack of porn magazines and some beer from the stashed refrigerator. "Yes, this is exactly what I need," he said. "Thank you, Randy. As a reward, you'll get a title shot with John Cena at Wrestlemania."

Daniel became outraged. "No! No! No!" he shouted. "John promised me a title shot! I deserve that title shot! You can't just take it away from me!"

"With all due respect, sir, I did promise Daniel a shot at the title," John added.

"Well, it's gonna have to wait until after you face Randy at Wrestlemania," Vince retorted. "And that's my final word."

Daniel looked as though he wanted to say something else but thought better of it and stormed back into the kitchen to finish his Lucky Charms. They certainly weren't giving him any luck this time.

"Now that that's settled, I'll be in my room enjoying some beer and porn," Vince declared. "The rest of you, finish your damn breakfast and then investigate this place. I want to know who the hell we're dealing with. Once you're done with that, report back to me and make sure you knock, too."

The other Superstars did as they were told, and Vince hurried back to his room, eager to get started on what was sure to be some awesome beer and porn. He popped the tab on the beer and took a swig before grabbing the first magazine and opening it to the first page.

"Oh, yeah, come to Papa."

22222

Splinter was exhausted after that last training session he'd made his sons go through. He probably shouldn't have done that, but he needed to keep his sons in line as a good master should. He prepared himself for the racket of noise his sons usually made in the morning and was startled to hear the sounds of traffic instead. What was going on? Their Lair was above a subway station, and they often heard the trains rumbling overhead but that was all they ever heard. He bolted upright and gasped as he looked down at himself. He had pale skin and a different body as well.

Then he heard someone moan, "Vince, stop making all that noise. I'm trying to get some sleep." He looked over and spotted a blonde woman lying next to him. Something definitely wasn't right. Had Michelangelo gotten a hold of his sake and spiked their drinks? If he had, Splinter was going to have a stern lecture and some randori in store for him. He swung his legs off of the bed and got ready to start the day. As he looked in the mirror he gasped to find the face of Vince McMahon staring back at him. Like three of his sons, Splinter enjoyed watching wrestling and knew who everyone was. How had he gotten in Vince's body though? After getting ready, he left the hotel room, determined to find his sons and get to the bottom of this.

"My sons!" he called "I must find my sons!"

He spotted four WWE Superstars near the elevators, and they all stared at him and gasped in unison, "Sensei?!"

Splinter was overjoyed. He had found his sons! He hurried over to them. "My sons, what is the meaning of this?" he demanded. "It appears we have switched bodies. Now, which one of you is which?"

"I'm Leonardo," the one who looked like John Cena said. "Raph's Randy Orton, Mikey is Daniel Bryan, and Donnie is Damien Sandow. I can't believe you're here, too, Sensei."

"Yes, it appears that I have been switched as well," Splinter replied. "Do you have any idea how this occurred, Donatello?"

"No, Sensei, I don't," Don answered. "It's illogically impossible for this to even happen to us."

"Okay, so we need to go to the restaurant and try and act as normal as possible," Leonardo said. "We'll have to figure out exactly what to do and how we got into this mess after breakfast. In the meantime, we can't give away who we really are and have to act like the people we've switched as. And, Mikey, you can't prank any of the members of The Shield either."

"Okay, okay, I won't," Michelangelo promised.

"Very well, then we will go and have breakfast," Splinter said. He led the way into the elevators and down to where the restaurant was. The Turtles and Splinter were going to eat together until Triple H called Splinter over to him.

"Hey, Vince, over here!" he called.

Splinter gave his sons a startled look. "Should I go over there?" he asked.

"Yeah, just act like Vince always does," Leonardo said. "You know how he acts, right?"

Splinter nodded. "Yes, I can pull this off, as you would say," he answered. "The rest of you just sit together and try and act as naturally as you can. We will sort out this mess later. And be careful, my sons."

"We will, Sensei," Leonardo promised.

Splinter approached Hunter and smiled. "Good morning, Hunter," he said. "Did you have a good sleep?"

"Yeah, Steph and I slept well, but we weren't sure if you did," Hunter replied. "People were talking about you coming out of your room and asking about your sons. Are you okay?"

Splinter forced a laugh. "Yeah, I'm fine," he answered. "I must have been sleepwalking again."

Hunter and Stephanie exchanged looks but said nothing more as a waitress came to take their orders. Then Hunter started talking about Wrestlemania and how awesome it was going to be. Splinter listened politely, though he was concerned about how he and his sons were going to get out of this mess and return to their rightful bodies.

A/N: So, I'm ending the chapter here. Now that everyone has been switched, it's going to be time to get down to business and investigate what has happened to everyone. I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up, but I'll try and have it up as soon as I can. Oh, and the beer and porn run thing is a reference to one of my favorite authors, Alkaholik and his infamous Grapefruits the Adventure series. You really should check it out. In the meantime, feel free to leave a review and have a shelltastic day.