*** Authors Note: I know it has been a bit since my last update, but life all of a sudden went very busy! This chapter is short, but it was hard to write this one. Please let me know what you think of this chapter! Thanks :)
*** Chapter Six: What I've Lost ***
*"Always remember. Remember that I love you no matter what happens to us today. You are my Arkenstone, my heart." He whispers to me. We are about to go to battle and have taken a moment away from the others. I squeeze his hands. We are standing as close as possible to each other. I blink and tears falls down my cheeks. "I won't forget, and I refuse to be parted from you. I love you Thorin, I will not allow this to end." I choke out. He kisses my forehead and tucks my head into his chest. "We won't be parted. I promise to stay by you always and forever." He says.*
*All around me is chaos. The Orcs are on the run, but there is still fighting. I know I am wounded, but all I can think about is to see if they are OK, so I feel nothing. I drag myself along the ground, over bodies, but I cannot think about that right now. I see them, the three of them together, always together. I call their names, but they do not answer. It seems like forever, but I finally reach them. I shake their arms and scream their names, but I cannot see any response. I suddenly feel so weak. I put my head down on Thorin's chest and just as I am about to close my eyes, I see some of my companions coming towards us calling our names desperately. I hold up my hand to touch them, but before Dwalin reaches me it falls down and my eyes close.*
I stand in the dirty room trying to remember what I was going to do. I had just been distracted by three children playing. As I watched them wished that I have the innocence and lightheartedness of a child's. "Miss. Baggins, how are you today?" I turn around and see Dori standing beside me looking worried. How am I doing? I really don't know the answer myself. Every time I close my eyes, I see Azog standing over... no, I must not try to think about it. "Much better today." I say giving him a small smile.
"Very good. You had us all worried there for a while." He says. That's my Dori, always polite. He has been a father figure to me the whole time I have known him.
"You must get back too work before Nori calls you a slacker for not doing your fair share of the work." I say shooing him away. He goes back to where he and some other men were trying to move a big piece of the ceiling that had fallen down. I can't help but feel left out as they all do an excellent job at working together, and I cannot help them with it. I look around and take in the ruined halls of Erebor. This must have been such an amazing place to behold before Smaug came and destroyed it. We have been here for over four months already trying to rebuild ever since what is now being called the Battle Of Five Armies ended, and we have barely touched the surface of what needs to be will take many, many years until it will be finished. The battle was long, hard, and heartbreaking. All who took arms against the enemy was in one or more ways hurt. Out of my companions, I believe I have lost the most. What I've lost, I cannot bear to say it. I glance at myself in front of a huge mirror as I continue walking along. My face now has scars and burn marks on it. My hair used to be long is now short and all different lengths from when he... I feel fear creep up on me again just thinking about what happened. It has taken me this long since the end of the battle to recuperate from my wounds. But the emotional ones are the ones that have not healed fully, and I fear never will. But my face and hair are by far not the worst thing I have lost. I have lost my...
"My Lady! How are you today?" I look over at one if the women cleaning the mirror who spoke to me. It is Inga, a kindly old Dunedain woman I befriended when I was bedridden. "It gets easier every day I suppose." I say trying to give her a brave smile.
"Well, if you ever need a chat, don't hesitate to call on old Inga. I always have tea ready for you." The woman says squeezing my hand.
Tears begin forming in my eyes. "I-I won't." I whisper. I glance over at the other women and say "I really would like to help you all but..."
"Don't worry honey. We understand, just take care of yourself OK?" One of the other women, I believe her name is Bertha says. I nod and continue on my way. I suddenly remember what I was going to do. I continue looking around, weaving into all sorts of unknown halls that are in the process of being cleaned up, getting lost the whole way. Just when I am about to give up and try to figure out how to get back to my room, I hear a voice behind me saying "There you are, what are doing trying to scare me like that again? Wandering around like that without someone is foolish." I turn around and smile at the person.