It's Kharl's Fault!

by Terasa

The final war has begun and it's up to our heroes to save the day, but will Andi manage to destroy the Ring or will it destroy her first? Ashley quickly discovers she has no head for politics when she arrives in Gondor, and Kharl will have to fight harder than ever to ensure those he cares about live to tell the tale of the One Ring. Secretly-A-Fangirl helped Haldir/OC Aragorn/OC

17. Dress in Drag and do the Hula

ASHLEY

"Andrea has passed beyond my sight," Gandy informs us and I give a sigh of relief that my best friend is alive, resting my forehead on Haldir's shoulder. "The darkness is deepening." Aragorn has his back turned to the rest of us, nervously shifting from one foot to the other the way I do when I have to do public speaking. I bet his heart's pounding ninety miles a minute too, just like the rest of us. The air in the room is thick and you could very nearly cut it with a knife.

"If Sauron had the Ring we would know it," Aragorn says.

"It's only a matter of time. He has suffered a defeat, yes, but behind the walls of Mordor, our enemy is regrouping." Gimli slouches in the steward's chair, his battle ax in hand. "Ten thousand Orcs now stand between Andrea and Mount Doom. I've sent her to her death."

"Trust me," I remark quietly," she's already coming up with a battle plan on how to get past those ugly bastards without them even knowing it. That's how she wins all those video games and how she became a cop. She'll get through okay, but she might need a distraction just in case. Now, who's ready to dress in drag and do the hula?"

"Sis, I don't think they understand," Kharl quips with raised brows.

"Uncultured swine."

"My daughter's strange comments aside," Aragorn asserted," there is still hope as long as Andrea has safe passage across the plains of Gorgoroth. We can get her that."

"We can?"

"We can as long as we draw out Sauron's armies. We will empty his lands, then gather our full strength and march the Black Gate." Kind of wish we still had our army of Caspers to fight with us right now.

"We can't achieve victory through strength of arms," Éomer advises.

"No, but Andrea will have her chance to destroy the Ring as long as we keep Sauron's Eye on us.

"Certainty of death," Gimli says from around his pipe," small chance of success. What are we waiting for?"

"I've always wanted to say I help defeat the Dark Lord," I whisper to Kharl, my brother nodding along with a smile. "Hey, where's he going?" Aragorn had just walked out of the room with a determined set to his jaw and Gandalf gives me a knowing smile.

"To ready our diversion," he answers.

"Oh shit, he's gonna go talk to Sauron's bowling ball, isn't he?"