All recognisable characters belong to SM. I just own the plot.
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Thank you to A Jasper For Me. She helped me with this mess of a chapter.
I want to say something first. Bella said no to Edward's proposal, and even if his ego had taken a hit, they didn't break up just yet. He went away and promised to come back a year after, which we all know he didn't do.
I hope that clears up the confusion.
"No, you can't come here," I insisted, trying hard not to snap at him. He had been pestering me more than ever. I presumed it was because of all the attention brought about by the pictures of Edward and me.
"Why not?" His question caught me off guard. It wasn't as if I had ever invited him to my apartment, quite the opposite, so his sudden insistence to come over stumped me. My privacy was important so I rarely had visitors except for family and, of course, Jessica.
He was annoying me at the moment.
"I have company tonight, James."
"Oh." His breathing became heavy, like he was trying to stay calm. "Is this a date or something?"
I didn't like the tone of his voice. He didn't have any right to demand or question me about my personal life.
"No, it's not."
"Then why-"
"It's none of your business, James," I snapped.
"Ouch," he said. I could just imagine him pouting, but I was too irritated to indulge him tonight.
"I need to go."
"Okay." I could hear the reluctance in his tone. "You sure you're alright to be alone with this guy?"
Here we go again. "Whoever said it's a guy?"
"It's not?"
"Goodnight, James."
It was a guy alright, and not just any guy. It was Edward.
OOOOOOOOOO
The white lilies were now in the vase, but I lingered where I stood, rearranging the flowers again and again just so it would delay me from facing Edward.
He was here. He was the one who had brought the lilies.
"I know they're your favorites," I heard him say.
I took a deep breath and turned around. He was leaning on the wall, his hands in his pockets. He was dressed casually in a checkered cotton shirt and denim pants, looking amazing as usual. This apartment unit was acquired when I started medical school so he hadn't been here before, but the way he stood confident and so at ease made him seem like he belonged here. I quickly pushed that thought away, silently reprimanding myself for such dangerous notions.
"You didn't have to bring anything." There was this awkward tension between us, but I tried to ignore it.
My plan was talk to him in the living room, which was where I had left him, but since he had followed me in the kitchen, I motioned for him to sit on one of the dining chairs. He made me nervous, and I only hoped he didn't see it. It would be best if we would get this over and done with, so he could leave. Then and only then would I be able to relax.
He stood quiet as I made my way around the dining table, choosing the chair farthest away from him. I could feel his eyes on me. Once I was seated, he pushed away from the wall and walked to sit on the chair nearest mine.
I clasped my hands together in an attempt to hide my nervousness. I blew a long breath and met his steady gaze.
His call earlier had prompted me to cut my visit to my father short. I had to return back home, a two-hour drive from my parents' house to have this conversation with him. I felt more comfortable and at ease in my own place than wherever his people would have chosen. He wanted to talk, and although I wasn't sure where this would lead us, I knew I had to clear some things up with him.
"I'm sorry I don't have any fancy food to serve you."
"I didn't come here to eat, Bella. You don't have to worry about making me comfortable and such. I came here for a reason." He smiled, and somehow that made me feel a little less agitated.
"I see," I said. "So …"
"I think you have a good idea why I'm here."
"Yes," I whispered, looking down at my hands. I had thought we made ourselves clear three years ago, but somehow his broken promise to return had created issues that were still unresolved.
"I'm sorry."
His words were so unexpected; I had to look up to see his face. Our situation had been complicated, and I saw no need for any more apologies from either one of us. It wasn't fair to ask for forgiveness to someone who had a hand on the disastrous outcome of their relationship.
"You're sorry … for what?"
"The pictures."
"Oh, OH!" I had almost forgotten about those. My mind had been focused on the events three years ago I had momentarily forgotten about the new media frenzy we had caused.
His eyes –steady and intense – held mine, and I could feel the butterflies in my stomach start to make their usual commotion.
"I wasn't thinking when I led you to the dance floor. It wasn't my intention to cause any you any problems."
"You don't have to apologize," I said, trying to act nonchalant, even though my heart was racing. Alice was the one who had brought me there. It was not Edward's fault. "I was there, and somehow that in itself would've attracted attention. I shouldn't have gone."
He bit his lower lip, like he was suddenly unsure about something. "I may sound selfish by saying this, but I'm glad you were there … at the party, I mean."
I didn't know how to respond to that so I remained silent, afraid I might say or do something that would embarrass me. I started to raise my hand to my mouth, but when I saw Edward's eyes following the movement, I quickly put down my hand. Edward knew biting nails was a nervous habit of mine.
"I'm not happy the press is pestering you again," he said. He lowered his eyes before raising it again to hold my gaze. My throat suddenly felt so dry. "I don't want you inconvenienced in any way. If you ever need my help, I'm always here for you."
His tone made me think he wasn't referring to the party and the pictures any longer.
"Edward-"
"No, please listen," he pleaded. "I need you to hear me. I want you to understand what I'm doing here."
"I get that you came to apologize, Edward, but you really didn't have to. It was stupid to have assumed my presence in the clubhouse wouldn't attract some kind of attention, especially since we haven't been seen together for a long time. My attendance at your annual party made the reporters' day."
He snorted in agreement.
"Then you had to lead me dancing. Why'd you even do that?"
He frowned, clearly not liking what I was saying. "Isn't it obvious?" He seemed irritated at me.
"What are you saying, Edward?"
I wasn't stupid, and somehow during our short conversation I realized he not only came here to talk, but he came here for me. The way he was staring reminded me of all those previous times he looked at me with this burn … this yearning in his eyes, making me tingle all over. This kind of burn was dangerous, and although I knew the risk, it was so easy to get sucked back in. It was so easy to let go and feel the high, the euphoria … but dammit, it was also scaring the shit out of me.
Acting like I was clueless was the only thing I could think of to delay the inevitable. Stupid, I know … but I was becoming desperate. He was too close for comfort.
He kinked an eyebrow, like he knew what I was doing. "That visit to the library …"
Oh, God. I gulped.
"Uhmm, I even sent you flowers, Bella. Surely you're not blind to what I'm trying to accomplish here, to my intentions."
The hot heat of his gaze affected me more than he would ever know.
"I'm not sure inviting you here was a good plan …" I rubbed my fingers over my forehead, ignoring his earlier statement "… but you wanted to talk so here we are."
"Yes, here we are," he whispered, leaning closer, his hands flat on the table. I had to pull back a little just so I could breathe easier. "Isn't this interesting?"
The intensity in his eyes rooted me in my seat. He pulled his chair in front of me, turned me around to face him, and held my face between his hands. I was too stunned to say anything.
"Bella, I need another chance with you," he said, his voice strong and confident, like he needed it to be like this so I could believe him. "I need to prove myself to you."
"I don't think this is a good idea. None of it."
"I. Want. You. Back."
His words reflected his confidence. My mind tried to absorb what he said, but I had a hard time breathing normally, let alone think coherently, especially when he was so close, saying things like this. He was being so forward, and although I had liked this trait in him before, it was making me anxious. I wanted to run, but I stayed in my spot.
I opened my mouth to reply, but he placed a finger over my lips.
"Shhh, listen to me first," he commanded. "After hearing me talk and you still don't want to have anything to do with me …" he swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing "… then I'll never bother you again."
He searched my face and when I nodded, he sighed in relief. "Thank you."
He took a deep breath and continued. "I want to talk about what happened three years ago."
I was reluctant to go back to that time, but we needed closure, and I felt like this was the right time to put it out there.
"After touring with Father for almost half of the year, I had to stay in Belize, but I occasionally traveled to Jamaica because I needed to be hands on with the foundations being set up there. You know all this, Bella."
He was right, I knew all about his year –that year– in other countries. It was his responsibility as the heir to the throne, something he had willingly pushed aside. His duties were the reason he had to leave me for a year.
"Anyway, after twelve months … as my father promised me, I came home. I was desperate to see you. I even went straight from the airport to your new apartment because damn, I missed you so goddamn much. But when I arrived there, it wasn't as I had expected. I saw you … you were so fucking beautiful … you were smiling and laughing, not the same woman I had left before I went to Belize," he said. "Not that I wanted you to be sad or depressed … it's far from that. My absence seemed to be good on you, and that depressed me."
I had no words.
He ran his hand through his hair, and I waited for him to continue.
"It looked like you were enjoying your life without me."
"I didn't-"
"Please," he pleaded again, and I shut up. "That day was the first of many days I went to see you after I arrived back to the states. I didn't want you to know I was back because I was afraid I would ruin what you had built for yourself. So I stayed in the shadows, lurking until I knew what I would do. After several consecutive days of waiting, something happened. It was the answer I needed, although it was not the one I wanted."
"What happened?" I whispered, wanting to know.
"It was a Sunday I remember, and you were out with Jessica, looking radiant and so full of life. I think you were going shopping or something. You went to Tracy's, and I was intrigued. It was an hour after I followed you I realized something important, and I thought … maybe it's a sign."
"Are you kidding Edward? You assumed that day was the answer, what the hell?"
"It was the exactly a year ago that day you denied me of becoming your husband. It was like it was taunting me and … and… That made my decision."
I remembered that particular day. Tracy's was an upscale retail store, one of S' competitors, that was newly opened. Jessica had convinced me to check out the items they housed, which were so different from ours. In my excitement, I had agreed to go … and what a day it was. Jessica was so giddy because. for the first time since she met me, I had spent over ten thousand dollars on new sets of lingerie. It was because I knew he was due to come back.
I had been in a bubble for weeks, happy to reunite with him, not even caring whether I would insult my father and sister by shopping in our competitor's store. I never got any heat, maybe because they never learned about my shopping spree. I never went back to Tracy's though.
"I told you the reason why I said no."
He looked sad, guilty even. "I know, but when a year had passed, those same reasons … those words no longer have weight; they seem unimportant, so …" he trailed.
"You never came back."
"I'm sorry."
I could feel my eyes water. It was like everything –every pain, every heartache– was resurfacing and I couldn't hold back the tears.
"I waited and waited for you, but when you didn't come back … I just knew I wasn't worth waiting for."
"Oh God, Bella! I didn't mean to make you feel inadequate in anyway," he said, coming closer. "I lo-"
"Please don't." My eyes pleaded with him. I knew deep down what he wanted to say, but I wasn't ready to hear those words … or if I would ever be again.
I saw his jaw tightened, making me aware I had hurt him again.
"Remember when your father appointed Alec as Counselor of State … and he required you to go with him on his royal tour to different countries? I wanted you to broaden your horizon. Learn things you wouldn't learn if you stayed with me. Besides, it was your duty to go … to follow the king especially when he needed you, but then you proposed," I said, looking at him, so he would know I was telling only the truth. I had told him these reasons before, but I felt like I needed to say them again. "How could I have said yes? I didn't want you to choose me … because that would mean you're giving up your right and your responsibilities as the prince. That didn't seem right to me."
"I didn't need the title or the crown, Bella. I just wanted you."
How can I answer that?
We faced each other, neither one speaking, but each knowing there was so much to say. His nostrils flared while my heart thumped wildly against my chest.
"He talked to me the day before you proposed."
"Who?" He asked, confused.
"King Carlisle," I answered, my voice low. I was afraid my admission would hurt him. Well, perhaps it would.
"Shit, he did that? WHY?"
"He told me he wanted to be sure I knew what I wanted. That you were what I wanted."
"And?" He looked anxious all of a sudden.
"Of course, I wanted you. But, I felt it was right for me to let you go and do what you needed to do. I waited for you, but when you didn't come back, I knew it was over." I took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. "But how could I begrudge you of that when I was the one who chose for you not to stay."
"But I promised-"
"Do you remember before you left, the eve of your departure?"
He nodded.
"I said if you never come back … that if during your travel with your father something will make you change your mind about me … that I will understand."
His eyes widened in realization. It was clear he didn't remember what I said that night, not until now.
"I just assumed something did make you change your mind about me … about us."
It took a while before he spoke, but there was no denying the weight of his next statement.
"Only you, Bella. Three years have passed, but you're still the one I want."
"I don't know-"
He held his fingers over my lips again. "Don't over think this." He pressed his palm against my chest and whispered, "I can feel the beat of your heart. I know you feel something for me. And even if that isn't love anymore, I just need a chance with you so I could make you fall in love with me all over again."
God, help me. The things he says…
I closed my eyes, because I wasn't sure if this was a dream or a nightmare.
"Please," I heard him whisper.
"I'm scared." There was no use denying I was terrified of what he wanted from me. Another chance meant another possibility of getting hurt … but the guilt of my once rejection prevented me from turning him away.
I felt his feather light touch across my cheek, and I opened my eyes.
"Don't be. I promise I'll make it good this time."
"Edward, I'm not sure I'm ready."
"I understand," he answered, tracing my lips with his thumb. "We'll take it slow. Friends first."
The uncertainty was there, but somehow taking up his offer of friendship felt right. "I can do that."
"Just allow me to date you, Bella." This I wasn't sure.
The expression on his face was dead serious. There were a lot of reasons for me not to agree to this, but it seemed it didn't matter one bit. The fluttering in my stomach was all the answer I needed.
"I … I … Okay."
"Okay, yeah?" His smile was so wide I couldn't help but join in. I nodded and he leaned down to kiss me.
I was expecting the kiss so I pushed him slightly away. He licked his lower lip and smirked.
"Okay. We'll take it slow." He leaned down once more to give me a peck on the cheek.
"Yeah, I need slow."
"I can give you all the time you need," he assured me, but there was a dangerous glint in his eyes. "But don't mistake my patience, because I'll woo you until you can't think of anything but taking me back."
Holy shit.
Yeah, they're gonna date, and I'm excited! Are you?
xoxo