Not Beyond Recovery
Disclaimer: None of the characters of Escaflowne belong to me.
Note: Happy Birthday, Eries!
One of my favorite chapters to write and also one of the most difficult. But it is often so. We finally have a scene with Folken and Eries in this story and I'll admit that it's a bit overdue so I hope it is worth the wait. I enjoy writing them so much but I am also challenging myself to keep the cheesiness down. Hopefully, I have not failed catastrophically in that area.
And since I've posted two chapters in a row in such a short period of time, allow me some more time to work on the last chapter. I need to savor this last chapter long enough before I post the next one. But it will definitely be up before the end of the month.
I have borrowed some lines but not from my usual Jane Austen novel but from another one. I couldn't resist since the lines fit the situation so perfectly and it was a pleasure to incorporate them into the story.
I really hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it. Please do let me know how you found it! Thank you and happy reading!
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Eries pushed open the windows, allowing the cool, evening breeze to enter the hallway. It was a relatively secluded area of the palace, not frequented by most of the courtiers and servants, which was why it was a good place to find a moment's peace and quiet. She lingered for a few moments, leaning on the railings and taking in the air as refreshment after spending several hours in stuffy council chambers. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and then exhaled as slowly as she could, trying to release as much of her worries as she could into the night. A symbolic gesture, perhaps, but it brought her some comfort.
Although she was accustomed to being busy, she had known very little rest in the last few days. Day and night her mind had been occupied by endless concerns, some so grave as to render sleep impossible. Her burdens went beyond national issues and even familial cares; one imminent, undesirable event troubled her constantly. As much as it plagued her, she would not put the thought aside. She told herself that the more she thought about it, the less she would struggle to accept it. But ever the keen analyst, she was also determined to find some kind of solution. The lady had never been one to admit defeat so easily.
The tranquility of the atmosphere shifted slightly with the arrival of Princess Millerna. The younger lady stood beside her sister and followed her example, taking in the cool breeze as respite from her royal duties.
"I honestly don't know how you do it," Millerna remarked admiringly, "you have had to sit through even more tedious meetings than I and you still look ready to sit through another round while I am drained of all energy."
"I assure you, I am quite exhausted," Eries replied earnestly.
"Well, it certainly doesn't show," Millerna complimented, "I think you would outlast even the hardiest soldier."
To this Eries simply raised her eyebrow and gave her sister a small, grateful smile. For all her claims of fatigue, Millerna still looked rather cheerful and she welcomed the chance to spend a few moments outside official business with her sister. Such opportunities did not come often and so they had decided to spend these in comfortable silence, simply enjoying each other's company. Millerna, in particular, loved to see her sister at ease, looking younger than her years without worries crinkling her brow.
Eries closed her eyes again and took another breath. Millerna leaned back slightly to stretch herself when she noticed someone entering the hallway.
Folken approached the princesses purposefully but hesitated when he saw Princess Millerna. The latter noted this and immediately realized his intentions. As much as she enjoyed her sister's company, she was not averse to sacrificing it for something she believed would be infinitely more satisfying. With a barely concealed grin, she hastily took her leave of Eries, citing some errand that she had just remembered.
Seeing through such an obvious excuse, Eries raised an eyebrow as she watched her sister go. But before she could decipher Millerna's strange behavior, Eries heard a voice that banished all other thoughts.
"Good evening, Princess Eries."
Folken gave a respectful bow and so did not see how the princess's eyes widened briefly before she recovered herself and greeted him politely. They exchanged all the necessary pleasantries before settling back into silence.
"I hope I am not disturbing you," he said, his usual calm masking the nervousness in his voice.
"Not at all," she replied, "what is it you would like to speak to me about?"
Although it had only been several days since they had last spoken, so much had already passed; certain crucial discoveries had been made. They both sensed a change in circumstances and yet they had also been waiting for an opportunity to face each other. But it was not going to be easy.
He had planned what he had been going to say, of course, but now that he faced her, no well-rehearsed speech seemed adequate. There was too much to say and he no longer knew where to begin. But he needed to.
"I spoke to my brother quite recently," he began, "or rather, he spoke to me, after keeping his silence for so long. It was completely unexpected and though it was a very short conversation, I think it did us both some good."
"I'm glad to hear it," Eries commented, surprised that her efforts had yielded a result so quickly but genuinely pleased that she had succeeded.
"And I believe I have you to thank for this astonishing turn of events," Folken said appreciatively.
"Please, I deserve no credit for this," protested the princess, "I merely made the suggestion to your brother. Surely, there was more than my influence at work in his coming to a decision."
"I did not think my brother would ever speak to me again," Folken replied, "But it seems, I failed to take into account your powers of persuasion."
"I hope you do not think it was too meddlesome of me," Eries said with slight apprehension.
"Not at all," Folken reassured her, "on the contrary, I am profoundly grateful to you. You have achieved what I had believed was impossible."
"Oh, I wouldn't go that far, Lord Folken," Eries argued, "Perhaps you overestimated your brother's reluctance to speak to you."
"Believe me, all the resentment Van has towards me is completely deserved," Folken said gravely, "and it is only through his generosity and yours, that I have had the chance to make amends even though I know I will never be able to do enough."
"You must not be too hard on yourself, Lord Folken," the princess told him gently, "I know that you regret all your past actions most sincerely and please do not think that you deserve all the unkindness and distrust that has been shown to you here."
"But I can barely feel such unkindness when you and your sister and even Van have shown me mercy so generously," Folken replied earnestly, "I am astonished to find friendship in people who have every reason to despise me."
"My sister and I offer you our friendship freely," Eries said encouragingly, "you must not be astonished. And besides, you are not just a recipient of kindness; you have shown it to us in equal measure. I will never forget your support for Millerna's scientific endeavors as well as the part you played in improving my relationship with my sister."
"A minuscule feat in the face of what you have achieved for Van and me," Folken said admiringly, "a kindness I can never hope to repay."
"I expect nothing in return," Eries replied, "and I can only hope that you and your brother will still have some chance to reach an understanding."
She did not say anything else but her expression had turned grave and he knew that now was the moment to address what had been plaguing them for quite some time. Folken clenched his left fist and braced himself for the difficult but necessary conversation.
"Van told me that you have been informed of my circumstances," Folken said somberly, and he noted how Eries had stiffened at those words, "and I must beg your forgiveness for not telling you sooner."
"There is nothing to forgive," Eries replied, shaking her head, "I have no right to intrude on your privacy. You do not owe me any revelation of such a personal matter."
"After all, what am I to you?" she thought, unable to say the words because she feared the response. She remonstrated herself for even imagining such a question. What right did she have to expect anything? And even if there was some chance of a favorable response, what hope would be left for a future? Either option would only lead to despair and they already had enough to deal with.
"I only wished to spare you the burden of such knowledge," Folken explained, "and I did not want to impose on you to be concerned for me when you have already shown me so much kindness."
The princess said nothing but simply looked at him with an intense but unreadable expression. He knew that he was in danger of faltering so he pushed himself to keep speaking.
"But I am ashamed of having concealed such crucial information from you," he continued, "to repay your friendship and trust with secrecy and detachment. It was unjust. You deserve to know the truth."
With one sad glance he confirmed what she already knew. And yet, seeing it come from him seemed to make the truth even more painful. Wordlessly, so much was already being exchanged between them. He saw the sorrow in her eyes and felt immediate remorse for being the cause of it. But there was nothing to be done.
"Fate has been cruel to you," she said with emotion, "I do not believe you deserve it."
"It has already been decided," he said gravely, "and I do not have a say in the matter."
She pursed her lips and looked away from him, clenching her left fist and struggling to maintain her composure. He watched her sadly before averting his gaze as well, granting her some privacy.
A silence of conflicting emotions ensued. They both felt inclined either to flee from such a piercing revelation or to seek comfort in each other. But both remained rooted to the spot, afraid to approach the other yet unwilling to leave.
At length, Folken spoke, almost in a whisper.
"Forgive me, for having caused you pain."
Eries looked up at him and shook her head.
"There is nothing to forgive," she reiterated earnestly, "do not think of me."
"That," he said, as a sudden surge of courage drove him to take a few steps closer to her, "would be impossible."
Eries was unable to respond to this and simply looked at, waiting anxiously for what he would do next. There were too many thoughts going through her mind and she silenced them, her struggle to retain her composure growing more and more difficult.
For his part, Folken had no idea where all this audacity was coming from but he decided that he needed to make the most of it before the moment passed. But he was afraid of either doing too little or too much. One thing he was certain of was that he had to do something.
So he extended his left hand towards her nervously but when he saw that she had unclenched her left hand, he took this as encouragement. Gently, he took her trembling hand in his and then held it tight. Both of them stared at the bridge they had created through that simple gesture. It was clear now that they had crossed a certain threshold and they could not turn back and neither of them had any intention of doing so.
"Princess Eries," he said softly, "your friendship has been the most important of my life."
"You will always have it," she replied, gripping his hand firmly.
Slowly, she raised her eyes to meet his gaze. He could only look back at her as he struggled to find his next words. But she was patient and already felt that their sorrow had slightly diminished.
When at last Folken opened his mouth to speak, an unexpected voice broke the silence.
"Folken, there you are. There is something I'd like to know about the stealth cloaks on Zaibach's latest guymelefs."
Van Fanel had been searching for his brother for the past few hours and was relieved to finally find him. He had spoken before he noticed that Princess Eries was also present so he greeted her hastily but politely. She nodded to him before resuming her conversation with Folken.
After recovering from the shock of such an unexpected interruption, Folken could barely conceal his frustration at his brother and could only look at Eries apologetically. She was better at disguising her own disappointment and to soften the blow, she gave Folken's hand an affectionate squeeze.
Folken was torn but Eries decided to make the decision easier for him, even if it also cost her. She knew that he was reluctant to leave her but she also knew that it had taken a lot of effort for Van to approach his brother again and that this meant a great deal to Folken.
"You are being summoned," she told him with a small smile.
"That seems to be the case," he replied with a sigh.
"Then, you must not keep him waiting," Eries said encouragingly, "I am sure that you and I will have a chance to resume our discussion another time."
"I promise that we will," Folken replied earnestly.
Eries nodded before gently pulling her hand out of his. She did so as slowly as she could and lingered for a few more moments when only their fingertips touched before pulling her hand back completely. They would have to content themselves with that for the time being.
They must be reaching some important agreement after negotiations, Van thought; although he did not understand why it took so long for them to shake hands.