Bianihz Sinclair's POV:
"GO AWAY" I scream as the buzzer on my apartment door rings for the fifth time "I told you I'm sick"
"Bianihz, no illness lasts two months and if you are that ill we should take you to a doctor" Pan's voice calls through the door, he sounds worried but manages to almost hide it, probably a skill picked up in his work.
"No Pan, I'm fine just leave me alone" I screech, "Please!"
"That's not happening my love and I'm sorry that you drove me to this" I hear the gangling of keys.
"What no" I cry, jumping to my feet and leaping at the door "How did you get..."
"You're parents Bian" he sighs using his pet name for me, "Don't worry I didn't tell them the truth."
"Pan please don't do this, just leave me in peace for a while."
"I can't do that Bian, I love you"
His declaration of love throws me for a moment in which I reluctantly stand back as he opens the door. I feel a blast of fresh air follow him into my apartment. This causes me to suddenly become very aware of the state it's gotten in during the last few months; dirty washing spills from my room, piles of takeaway containers cover most surfaces and there is a distinct smell of neglect that the fresh air reveals.
"Oh Bianihz" Pan gasps, not looking at the mess that surrounds me but instead focussing on me, or to be specific my large swollen pregnant belly "I had no idea" he sighs.
"Oh Pan" I sigh "I'm so so sorry, It just happened and I was going to get rid but I just couldn't do it and oh my parents will be so ashamed. I should be married before I do this." I clutch my stomach as I speak.
"Why would they possibly be ashamed. Don't they know it's almost the Ten Twenties." He pulls me into a hug and nestles his chin into my neck.
"They don't care, I was never their perfect daughter and now ... now I'm ruined" I begin to sob as I hold onto him tightly, yet at the same time a wave of relief comes over me. Pan knows the truth now and by the sparkle in his deep gray eyes and the grin on his lips he doesn't care.
"You are not ruined, you are a beautiful young woman and you will be the most spectacular mother and I ... I'll be there for you." He lets go of me before leaning over, I stretch my neck upwards and push myself up on to my tiptoes and our mouths meet. It's one of those wonderfully messy kisses, born of months of separation as I've been hiding in my hole of an apartment and as we move apart to breathe Pan has the biggest grin on his face.
"I'm going to be a daddy" he says with his wide grin.
The doorbell buzzer interrupts us "Bianihz, I came as fast as I could. Has he gone yet? What did you say? He didn't see the bump did he?" my best friends voice comes through the door in flurry of words and several deep breaths telling me that she must have run all the way here from her place when I'd messaged her moments after Pan first rang my bell.
"You told Booster?" Pan says, slightly disappointed "You told your best friend before the baby's father" he pauses, and then chuckles "Of course you did, stupid question."
"Bianihz, was that Pan?" Booster cries.
"Hi Booster" Pan shouts and I can't help but laugh, all the pressure and stress I'd felt over the last few weeks had been lifted in a moment. Pan holds onto me as we move to let Booster in. Booster who'd seen the size of my stomach in the last few months since I'd stopped using flowing dresses to hide my baby and started to become a hermit doesn't get distracted from the state of my place by my belly as Pan had.
"Oh Bianihz, your place it's ..." she grimaces as her eyes flicker around the apartment, "Are you gaming again?" she asks as her eyes land on my gaming chair, my headset rests loosely on it as a paused game sits on my screen.
I nod, my cheeks blushing with shame, but Pan just looks confused "Again?" he asks "I never knew you gamed."
"I was young" I say be way of explanation "It was a kind of faze"
Booster laughs as she throws a pizza box off my couch and lazes on it "Bianihz came fifth"
"Booster!" I cry, "What is it national tell all Bianihz's secrets day?!"
Pan just laughs as he lets me sit next to Booster and sits himself in the chair beside the couch. He flicks one leg over the other and looks at me in an intensively seductive fashion. "That's no mere faze Bian" he tells me "fifth is bloody impressive. Tell me everything."
I look to Booster for backup but she just smirks back, sometimes best friends can be the worst.
"It's all a blur really" I admit.
Pan chuckles "Party too much did we?"
"Well .." I take a deep breath "I kind of literally can't remember some of it." I begin to bite on my nails but Booster slaps my hand away.
"If you're having his baby he needs to know" Booster whispers to me, a slight hiss to her voice. I know she's not being unkind but she does have this tendency to get me into trouble and I can't help but continue.
"I used to love the games okay, played since I was young, got into my first games at sixteen. It was wonderful, I started in sixteenth place. By the time I lost my tribute I was in the final five and it was brilliant. Afterwards there was just months and months of parties, I drank too much and I suppose so did everyone else, though I can't really remember it. About a month before the next games, we were having one big final party, at Invictus de Mountford's house I think. I'd drunk a load and I thought I was going home with a sober friend, heck I'd probably thought I was getting into a Taxi. But I wasn't and the driver, some gamer groupie kid by the name of Lance was driving and there was an accident..."
Pan gasps and looks as if he is about to comment but I continue talking "The car crashed and Lance died, the other kids in the car were mostly alright but I hit my head on something and large parts of that year just vanished. Everything between seeing my tribute loose the games and being in the hospital was just gone at first. Stuff came back, slowly at first, snippets of days out with Booster and family meals but my love of the games went too. Until ... Well until this little thing appeared" I rub my belly and smile "Something about being pregnant has made me want to game again, it's so odd really."
"So is this gaming helping your memory?" Booster asks, she doesn't sound as happy as she should about this, but keeps a grin on her face none the less.
"Yeah" I admit "The other day I had this memory of talking to you outside my parents house. I don't know when it was but it must have been during that year as you had that hideous green tattoo up your cheek." I don't mention, the anger on Boosters face in the memory or the fact that it appeared that I had just slapped her; some things need to remain a secret until I can figure them out fully.
Booster laughs nervously and I know she must remember that day. It hurts a little to think that she's also keeping secrets from me, we used to be almost like sisters as kids and now I have this one bad memory and it's scaring me that there could be more like it.
Pan hasn't spoken in a while but is instead looking at my pause screen where a little red number is flashing "You must be a natural babe" he says quietly "You're number twenty one and that means you're in the games again."
"Oh" I say "I honestly hadn't noticed."
"Bianihz, the results show, it's tonight. You have to go or you'll forfeit you're place." Pan says.
"Maybe that's not such a bad idea, I mean I'm nineteen. It's a kids game. I'm going to be a mother soon after all"
"Maximus is only a year younger than you and Invictus is twenty now." Pan tells me "The games could help you get your memory back, wouldn't you like that before the baby comes. To be able to know your whole life, even that gamer faze you had at sixteen."
"What do you think?" I ask Booster whose staying uncharacteristically silent "Should I do it?"
Booster seems unsure but I catch Pan nodding wildly from the corner of my eye and I know she'll agree with him, she has to or she'll be letting us all know that there's something wrong with me remembering.
"We'll need to find something to wear" she says eventually "after all you're famous again Bianihz."
A/N: Thanks to BecauseofKillianJones for Bianihz, I hope you liked her and the slight changes I made to your bio for her. Usual message here, still places left – Send me a PM of the form on my profile and you'll get a place. Also I hope you all Have a Happy New Year and Don't Drink and Drive Kids.