A few hours after Edward left and I did my clinical duties in the hospital, my head was still spinning. The couple of paparazzi that lined up at the side of the hospital, clearly waiting for me, didn't help my mood. Somehow I wasn't surprised to see them there. Their interest in me was renewed in the recent weeks following Edward's continuous effort to get me back. There were a lot of speculations going around that we were back together, but no one had any solid evidence to back that up.

My day hadn't gone as smoothly as I had wished. James and Tanya couldn't stop pestering me from the very moment I arrived at the hospital. James seemed to not have noticed I was in a foul mood because he spent the morning trying to convince me to go have dinner with him tonight. He was still hell bent on changing my mind about him. Well, his timing sucked; too bad for him. With all that happened to me earlier in the day, I ended up snapping at him to leave me alone.

He finally took notice I wasn't in the mood.

As for Tanya, well that was another story. Up until I said goodbye, she took every opportunity to ask me about Edward. It seemed she had been following all the gossip rags. She even showed me one magazine with pictures of Edward exiting my building.

She was relentless.

"Bella, wait up," she shouted as I walked towards my car. Even if I wanted to stop, I couldn't. Some photographers were literally up in my face. It was times like this I was grateful for Jeff. He was the security assigned by Emmett to assist me in public whenever and wherever. I glanced to see him pushing some bodies aside to let me through.

It felt like forever when I finally reached my car, and Jeff basically pushed me in because it seemed the photographers outside were a little more aggressive than what I was used to.

I hadn't noticed Tanya beside me inside the car until I heard her panting.

"Is it always like this?" she finally asked between breaths.

It was much worse. That was another thing I needed to get used to again if I wanted another chance with Edward.

"I'd hate to be you, Bella."

There were now some reporters in front of my car, taking a few more shots as I started it.

I hate this shit. I hate reporters.

The few men who blocked my car quickly dispersed once I inched my car forward. I glanced at the rear view mirror to see Jeff waiting for me to exit the parking lot before he followed me with his car.

"That was crazy!"

"I know!" I muttered, and blew out a big sigh of relief when I checked the rear view mirror again to see no one was following me.

"Is it always like this? I can't imagine being chased around," I heard Tanya say. I narrowed my eyes at her, suspicious as to why she wanted a ride with me.

"Why are you here? Because if the only reason you're hitching a ride is to continue with the questions, I'm not in the mood, Tans."

"No, no! I promise you," she denied quickly, shaking her head as she did.

"Are you sure?"

She nodded, and brushed a strand of hair away from her face.

"I'm sorry about earlier," she said. "That was way out of line for me to badger you with all my questions. You know I'm just curious and all excited for you."

I could feel her eyes on me when I didn't say anything.

"Prince Edward is just so handsome and … and so so gorgeous. You two just look great together."

"Tans, I just need a little time, okay?" I implored, my exhaustion evident in my voice. I didn't mean to make her feel bad, but she needed to realize she needed to back off.

"I'll tell you all about what's really happening when I know it myself."

I felt her hand pat mine as she said, "Yeah, okay. I'll zip my mouth … " she gestured toward her lips "… from now on. You can trust me. No more questions about the dreamy Prince Edward."

"You promise?"

"I promise!"

She wasn't as close to me as Jessica was, but she was still a good friend.

"There's just a lot of things I need to sort out and … and I don't even know how to do that."

"Uh, okay."

There was silence as she absorbed what I said. I glanced at her and she had this frown on her face.

"Did anyone ever tell you that you and the prince look so good together?" she asked tentatively, but she didn't wait for my answer as she continued, "Because if anyone should be the future queen, it should be you."

I gulped.

"Tanya, I don't think that'll happen," I replied. I glanced at her just in time to see her open her mouth to ask another question. I nipped it in the bud.

"I don't want to talk about it, Tans. Please."

She pouted, but eventually came to the conclusion I was serious because she started tinkering with the car stereo.

OOOOOOOOO

"This is becoming a habit, Bella," Jessica started, annoyance in her voice. "And I can say I don't like it."

"Jess, just tell me."

"I already did!" she answered back. "I told you this Kate shouldn't matter. She happened after you and Edward, and I'm guessing she isn't in his life anymore."

She had been out of town when Edward dropped the bomb about his fuck buddy three days ago, and it was only now I was recounting to her what happened. She just arrived an hour ago and came straight from the airport to my office in S. I asked her to come because I needed her. Edward had sent all his emissaries to talk to me, but I refused. There was a doubt lingering inside me, crumbling any resolve I had made to give him a chance into pieces.

"I don't know what to do!"

"Do you really want my opinion on this?"

"You know, I do. That's the reason I called you," I cried, hoping she could see I was desperate.

"My simplest advice to you is to go and tell him you want him back."

"What?!" I asked, frowning when she just stared at me. "Didn't you hear what I just said about Kate and Edward?"

She rolled her eyes, exasperated. "Jesus Christ, Bella! I know it's kind of a shock to you, but what did you expect … for him to be celibate for three years?"

"I … I-"

"Not everyone's like you. I don't think I would last without sex for even a week."

"That's because you're a freak."

"Oh, no. I'm normal," she replied smugly and slumped down with a loud thump on the couch that was situated at one side of my office.

"So let's see here …" she tapped a finger on her chin "… do you want to be with him?"

She looked at me with anticipation, and I just licked my lips.

"Bella-"

"Yes, okay? Yes."

She gave me a satisfied smile and winked. "Do you think this Kate person will be a problem?"

"I … I don't know."

"Hmm, let me rephrase it. Do you think you'll be able to get over this Kate person?"

I sighed. "I don't know."

"Bella, this is bullshit!" Jessica stood from the couch and came to sit on the arm of my chair, and wrapped her arm around my shoulders. "This Kate is in the past. Don't let her ruin what you could have with Edward."

"How do you know she's in the past?" I asked, frustrated with all the questions swirling in my head.

"Because," she said, holding my chin between her fingers so she could turn my head towards her, "Edward wouldn't tell you about her if she's still in his life."

"How do you even know he's not fucking her whenever he wants to? He didn't give me that information, so how the hell do you know?" I vented, hating I was yelling at her, but couldn't stop my frustration from showing.

She sighed, clearly a little annoyed with me and all of my doubts. I didn't care, that was what she was here for – to reassure me.

"Bella," she started, "although Edward is still not in my favorite list of people right now, it doesn't mean that I can't see he's trying to get you back. And mind you, he's trying hard. He contacted me even though he knew I didn't like him-"

"He contacted you? You didn't tell me!" I accused, and she just shrugged.

"And that my friend is reason enough for you to give him a chance." She moved to sit across the table opposite me.

"But-"

"I think he told you about Kate because he wanted to come clean," she said. "It must've been hard for him to do that, you know."

"I don't know Jess," I whispered.

"What happened when you two weren't together isn't important. Shit happens. That's life, Bells," she said, all serious now. "It looks like he's trying to be honest with you, and that should score some points, don't you think?"

"I don't think I can do this," I told her.

"Jesus, this being in love thing surely sucks," she muttered. "I'm already contemplating swearing against it."

"I just bet you do," I mumbled sarcastically, hating that she was taking this so lightly, especially since she knew how anxious I was about all this.

"You know, I'd choose to just fuck a man and be done with it than deal with this kind of shit everyday. Love sucks."

I sighed; disappointed. This was not the way I wanted this conversation to be.

"Maybe you're right. Love definitely fucking sucks!"

Her eyes widened like saucers, full of panic as she placed her hands on the table and moved closer to me.

"No, no," she backpedaled, shaking her head while she talked. "What I meant was, love sucks for me …" pointing a finger at her chest "… not you. Never you."

"Never?"

"Yes!" she explained rapidly. I arched an eyebrow at her. "Shit, look at it this way … if you give up on this … this thing with the prince – I'm scared you'll regret it in the future, Bells." She reached for my hand and squeezed it tight. "I don't want to see that happen. I don't want you to miss out on love."

"What happened to you hating Edward?"

She harrumphed and shrugged her shoulders. "I could give him a chance for your sake."

"You're scaring me now."

"What … why?" she asked, frowning at me.

"Because I don't know whether to hug you or slap you. You don't believe in love, Jess," I said, giving her a sad smile. "But why do you insist on this thing with Edward?"

She shrugged again, this time releasing my hand and lowering her eyes to the floor as she whispered. "Perhaps I'm just totally faking it."

"Huh?"

"Love is something very foreign to me, Bells. The thought alone is like an alien, you know … but seeing how Edward looks at you like you're his sun makes me want to have that."

"That?"

"That something special, that something strong. You and Edward … the two of you together … just wow. Everyone could see it, you know."

"Jess," I whispered, at a loss for words.

"It's true. And it's the only thing forcing me to let you go to him," she said, smiling encouragingly. "So you could have that ever after you wanted. Go to him and make it a good ending, okay?"

I leaned back in my chair, closing my eyes as I tried to reconcile what she just said to the fear and confusion still raging inside me.

There was a soft knock on the door. It was Alice.

"Bella, I need to talk to you."

She breezed inside my office like always, and stood with her hands on her hips.

"What about?" I asked as Jessica stood from the office chair to reseat herself on the couch.

My sister had this look of concern on her face, making me suddenly wary.

"Edward's downstairs."

"Shit!" I cursed, jumping from my chair. "He can't be here!"

"He's already here, darling, so you need to get your butt out of this office of yours and face him, " I heard Jessica say, and I glanced at her. She had this encouraging smile plastered all over her face.

I started fidgeting, feeling the all too familiar tension rise inside me.

"What do you want me to tell him?" Alice asked. She wasn't stupid. She could sense there was something wrong, and Edward coming here only perpetuated that thought.

"I … I … tell him I'm not here," I replied, standing up so I could pace around my office like a lunatic.

"Do you really think he'll believe me if I do?" she asked. "You know Jeff knows you're here so that only means Edward knows it too."

"Damn," I muttered, and sat beside Jessica on the couch. It had only been a few days since he told me about Kate, and although I knew he was an impatient kind of guy, it was still too soon for me to see him. I wasn't even sure what to say to him. There were a lot of mixed emotions battling inside me, issues I have yet to resolve. I couldn't face him yet.

"I need some time, Ali," I said, pleading with her.

There was a time that all I ever worshipped was my sister. She was my hero, and when she looked at me like she did now, I could certainly understand why I idolized her. She was fierce and strong, and quite determined when she wanted to be. And the resolve I could see in her eyes made me believe she could make Edward understand.

"Okay, I'll handle him."

"Thank you," I whispered. There was a tightness in my chest knowing I was only prolonging the agony by making Edward wait. It was inevitable that we would talk about Kate and everything, but I needed to have a clear head when that happened. I gave my sister a smile, but perhaps it came out as a grimace.

"Are you okay, Bella?"

I nodded and she smiled.

"You just stay here with Jess," she told me and turned her attention to my friend. "And as for you, don't you influence her into something crazy."

"Me?" Jessica asked, irritated. "I'm here to help, Alice, not get her into trouble."

Alice stood staring at Jessica like she was assessing whether to believe what she just said. She lifted her chin in a sort of I-believe-you-for-now-but-I'm watching-you kind of gesture towards Jess, only turning around when Jess saluted her with two fingers, leaving us without another word.

"Yeah, your sister definitely has a stick up her ass," she concluded. "She's so stiff. She needs to get laid, that would remedy that."

Jessica would always be obsessed with sex, of that I was sure.

OOOOOOOOOO

I wasn't ready for bed. There was a lot of anxiousness inside me, making it difficult to go to sleep. I had no classes tomorrow, so it was okay for me to stay up late.

Reading the new book I had just bought didn't interest me tonight. With nothing better to do, I turned on the television only to see Edward's face. My heart thundered as I searched for the remote. He started talking before I could change the channel.

I had forced myself not to look at his handsome face, but his voice drew me in, enthralling me to stay tuned.

It was some kind of a press conference. He was dressed casually in slacks and shirt, but the tenor in his voice was anything but.

He talked about his brother and Heidi.

And my heart went to him. I wanted to reach out and hug him, take away all the pain I could see in his eyes.

As the conference progressed, there was no doubt Edward and his parents supported all of Alec's decisions, even if it looked like he had known about his fiancé's pregnancy before his death. Edward continued to answer and deflect questions, more confident than I'd ever seen him before.

And when he spoke and defended his brother's love for Heidi, I knew then.

He needed to know I loved him.

Some women are Bellas, some are Jessicas and even some are Alice. My point is, everyone is different.

Thoughts?