Chapter 6 the test
Rated M for language and sex talk
Disclaimer I don't own south park…is it for sale?
Quick Note
I just want you all to know I enjoyed writing this fiction because it was an experience that I wanted to experience I wanted to write a fiction like this 5 years ago but I was missing a few things 1 a laptop and 2 a brain and I'm still missing number 2 but what are you going to do anyway thank you for all who reviewed this bingobingotwo, coyote smith supernerd38 and Browsing-Lurker thank you guys oh and the random guests if I knew you names I would shout out but I don't so yeah anyway I hope you enjoy the last chapter and we will find out who the damn father is
Chapter 6 the test
"Emily is 7 years old she lives with her mother and 2 dads people make fun of her for having 2 dads though she explains that she has 2 dads cause she doesn't know who her real dad is her best friend is Krystal McCormick who is only 6 years old but is a little genius so they are in the 3rd grade together. Wendy, Stan and Kyle are doing better than ever hell they have had intercourse at least 3 times with all 3 together it would have been 4 times but little Emily walked in on them so they decided to wait till she was 18 before any 3 ways cause 1 parent can distract while the other 2 can screw around so that's what they did but that's a distraction right now Wendy is home doing dishes and Kyle and Stan are enjoying their day off Kyle is going for a major in medicine and is almost gotten his master's degree sense he graduated before Stan but he didn't go far from home so the college isn't no Harvard or Yale but he doesn't care. Stan owns a pet shop 3 blocks from home and makes a lot of money so much has thinking of expanding. Bebe and kenny have a good home cause they ain't poor cause unlike kenny folks kenny actually gave 2 shits about his daughter…..who was conceived after Stan and Wendy's wedding Bebe was pissed let's just say….KARMAS A BITCH but she loves little Krystal and she would do anything for her. Cartmen owns a bar that he won in a poker game ha he actually fixed it up and now it's the usual spot the 4 hang at oh and cartmen has a wife named Beth."
"Wendy is home when her husband comes home"
Honey I'm home said Stan
Really you have to make that reference said Wendy
Yep said Stan
So I bought some steaks for the weekend said Kyle
Oh yeah Emily's birthday is this Saturday I uh almost forgot said Wendy
You ok asked Stan
Yeah I have some news that you might want to hear said Wendy
Is it bad asked Stan?
No it's just well i….
DOOR SLAMS
I'm a freak yelled Emily who ran upstairs
I got her said Kyle
You go help her you 2 are better at calming her down together said Wendy
I love you said Stan
No shit now go go she needs you said Wendy
"Stan kissed Wendy and ran after Kyle and Emily"
Hey what's wrong asked Kyle
Why do I have to be the girl who doesn't know who her own damn father is asked Emily?
Well you do know said Stan it's both of us
Yeah but I don't know who my biological dad is all I know was my mom was a freak said Emily
Hey what did I tell you about calling your mother that said Stan?
I'm sorry dad it's just uggh I wish I knew which one was my blood father said Emily
….do you want to know asked Kyle
YES yelled Emily
I was afraid of this day said Stan come down stairs were going bring this conversation to you mother said Stan
Oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to say that said Emily
You're not in trouble said Kyle
"The 3 walked down stairs into the kitchen which looked similar to every other house in the damn neighborhood"
Did I ever mention how weird this town is said Emily?
536 times said Kyle
Man daddy you're a nerd said Emily
Yeah I am it's a curse said Kyle
Yeah a curse I haven't gotten said Emily
What's going on now asked Wendy did Emily get in trouble with the kids at school again honey what did I say about fighting
Don't do it unless you have no other choice….unless it's against women's rights then kick the assholes ass said Emily
Exactly said Wendy
No honey its well…code blue said Stan
Really we are naming every problem like it's a damn war said Wendy
No she's asking to take the test said Kyle
Oh said Wendy
If it hurts dad and daddy I don't want it said Emily starting to cry
No no honey it's not going to hurt them there just….scared that's all said Wendy
What are they afraid of asked Emily?
They're scared that you won't call one of them daddy anymore said Wendy
Look I get it they will always be my dad said Emily
We know it's just if its Stan then that's no difference…..but if it's me then well your mom's married to a man who doesn't share the same daughter said Kyle
Oh well he would be my step daddy and I still will love him more than the world its self said Emily
I know and you need to know I was hoping you would wait but…I have been curious too said Stan
Stan said Wendy
Yeah I'm wondering if she is my own daughter I will never stop loving her or you Kyle but I need to know so I can sleep easier…but it's still Emilie's choice said Stan
Well Elizabeth what's it going to be said Wendy
Mom I hate it when you call me that said Emily…and I want the test
1 week later
Stans Mind
I feel like Wendy is avoiding me she told me last week of some news but she never said I don't bother to ask her maybe it's nothing I mean she ain't cheating on me and I let her have sex with Kyle so that's technically not cheating….unless me having sex with him counts oh man I'm in this damn bar with Kyle waiting for the damn test results I think I'm going to pass out from fear and if that happens then I will not know who the father is and AHHHHHH
End of mind
AHHHHHHHHHHHH yelled Stan
STAN WHATS WRONG asked Kyle
Yeah dude you ok asked Kenny
Dude your scaring the drunks said cartmen
I'm fine I guess I daydreamed again said Stan
More like daynightmared said Kyle
Ha ha very funny ass said Stan
I'm just nervous about the test results I mean what if I'm the father then you have no reason to live with me and Wendy said Stan
Whys that asked Kyle
Well what if her or i get drunk then I might say out of anger MOVE OUT YOUR NOT FAMILY or something stupid said Stan
Yeah well I would kick your ass said Kyle
HEY NO FIGHTING OR I WILL CALL DR LOIS said cartmen
"Stan and Kyle instructed for cartmen to be out anger watcher if they get mad he must calm them if it gets worse he calls there conciliar"
Were fine said Kyle
Yeah just stressed said Stan
Well I'm a bartender so yeah speak your mind it's like my job said cartmen
Well the test is coming back and I'm nervous said Stan
Ah the test to see if you're the father and if the Jew gets kicked to the curb said cartmen
Yeah said Kyle
"over the years Kyle finally stopped arguing with cartmen probably cause he saved his life from some skin heads they held Kyle down and cartmen shot the leader in the face the cops arrested the gang and cartmen got an award and Kyles respect his excuse was I'm the only guy who messes with the Jews in this town"
Well in my opinion you 2 won't leave you 2 probably fuck till you're in your 80s like a bunch of freaks said cartmen
…the phone rang
Hello yeah ok well be there ok said Stan
They have the results I'm nervous said Stan
Ok said Kyle I will drive causes your buzzed said Kyle
Nah I'm good but thanks said Stan
"The gang left to the car and Kyle drove them to the house and they all sat down to find out the news"
Ok guys here it is said Wendy
Ok said Stan
The father is….
THE END?
Sike
…Kyle
"everyone was in shock they all freaked out Kyle was excited Stan shook his hand in happiness Bebe jaw dropped kenny jumped for joy and Emily hugged Stan"
I'm sorry dad you're still my dad no matter what said Emily
Well TECHNICALLY I'm your step dad now said Stan….but I love you too much to care
"Stan walked in the kitchen in disappointment and Wendy followed her"
MOMMY IM BORED said Krystal
Your Uncle Stan and Aunt Wendy have this celebration so were going to be here awhile said Bebe
Ok mommy said Krystal
Come on Krystal the adults have to talk lets go play dolls said Emily
YAY dolls said Krystal
"The girls ran upstairs"
I love that kid said Bebe but she gets really bossy
Yeah like her mother said Kenny
Yep she's going places said Bebe
…..she better not strip like you do said Kenny
"Bebe is a stripper by choice I guess girls can choice to be that now a days she said it was for extra cash but kenny has a stable job at the home depot manager (yeah irony a guy who dies a lot working at a place where a lot of accidents can happen) but he doesn't care no guy can touch him or they will have to deal with….butters YES he is the bouncer after high school he gained a shit ton of muscle from working out everyday hell he kicked his father's ass after all the years of abuse his dad gave him bout damn time"
Yeah it's kind of weird knowing a stripper said Kyle
Yeah but it pays well and everyone's really nice said Bebe
MEANWHILE IN THE KITCHEN
She's not mine said Stan
But she's mine and your mine so yeah you're stuck here said Wendy
Unless you divorce me for Kyle said Stan
Yeah but then I would be screwed with the other said Wendy
Ha yeah the invisible other said Stan
I'm pregnant said Wendy
Huh said Stan impossible
I know the doctor was dumbstruck when they saw the test results they said it was a 1 and 10000 chance and that 1 night was the one said Wendy
Great the mystery is back said Stan
Hey what's up said Kyle walking in the kitchen?
Wendy's pregnant again said Stan
WHAT yelled Kyle?
Shhh I'm not telling anymore people yet ok said Wendy
Sorry how asked Kyle
1 in 10000 and one of us was the 1 said Stan
Dude wasn't me I haven't put my dick in that thing for 6 months said Kyle
But you 2 had sex a months ago said Stan
Yeah I ate her out I hate pussy but I love the taste of it weird huh said Kyle
So….im the father said Stan
Yes said Wendy
IM GONNA BE A FATHER yelled Stan
Ah shit said Wendy
WHAT YOU'RE PREGNANT yelled Bebe
Huh said Kenny
FUCK IT YES IM GONNA HAVE ANOTHER BABY AHHHH yelled Wendy
"Bebe and Wendy jumped up and down like they were 8 again"
Mom what's going on asked Emily?
Honey you're going to be a sister said Kyle
Daddy really you're going to be another father said Emily
No your other dad is said Kyle
Really I'm so happy for you dad said Emily
"Stan was holding Wendy and cried cried over the fact that he doesn't have to share a baby with no one is his and Kyle can help but he can focus on Emily more"
I feel like running said Stan
Dude don't you might get hit by a car said Kyle
I DON'T CARE I FEEL INVINSABLE yelled Stan
"Stan ran outside and was insane with happiness and ran over a kid by accident but happy he told all his buddies at the bar and was insanely happy because…..this father wasn't a mystery"
EPILOUGE
Stan and Wendy had a baby boy his name was Bret he lived a good life and became general in the military
Stan died at the age of 90 with Wendy in his arms they both died on the same day only 5 mins apart
Emily became an actress and won 10 Oscars in her career
Kenny and Bebe had a son later in life named Kenny JR…he dies just as much as his father
Krystal became the president of the United States and passed a law saying that poverty needs to be controlled so that no more people can suffer like her father did
Kenny lived to be 87 because death got bored and killed him permanently
Bebe unfortunately died at the age of 65 from a car accident
Cartmen had 2 kids and died at 78 from a heart attack
Kyle lived to be 95 his last words were for Emily to live a happy life and to tell the story about her birth
And that's who is the narrator of this story…..me Emily
NOW THE END
END SUMMERY
I hope that joke didn't sore anyone lol anyway I planned on the kid being Kyle sense the beginning but the Wendy going into a coma and then having another kid was not planned….IT WAS AN ACCIDENT huh huh anyone grr anyway I just wanted this story to have an ending like oh it's the kid who's telling the story like tone I hope you guys enjoyed it and this story well it touched me in places I've never been touched I loved to write it and I love it also I bet you want to know my next fan fic well it's still south park cause I don't really like going into other shows and doing shit to them also south parks easier to do cause I'm a huge fan of it I'm thinking of doing a truth or dare one so yeah get ready for that and don't give suggestions till I make it I still am not writing FROM HELL AND BACK AGAIN cause I still am in a slump and the style fic will most likely be removed cause I don't like it I'm sorry for those who do like it I just hate how it was made so yeah
Thank you for reading I'm cortez30 and ITS TIME TO SPLIT yep that's where my name came from anyone who got the reference