Thank you for all the reads, reviews, favs and follows. Please let me know what you think after this chapter. To be honest I'm losing steam on both this and right here waiting so if you like them and want me to continue please let me know! Only 8 more months until Season 7. Bittersweet, not sure I'm ready for it to end :(
(Holli's POV)
The ride back to Juice's house was silent. I knew he was thinking about something, I could tell by his facial expressions. He was lost in his thoughts.
Tara gave me the run down on what I needed to do and what I couldn't do. She tried desperately to get me to go to St. Thomas but she knew how stubborn I was and I wasn't going to budge. I didn't want to make this any bigger of a deal then it already had turned into. She also gave me some Percocets that just happened to be lying around in the clubhouse. I wasn't in that much pain anymore, but popped one just to be comfortable, knowing I would most likely feel all of it in the morning.
Jax and Opie assured me they wouldn't kill Matt. I only half believed them. I made them promise they wouldn't go looking for him until I was able to get the rest of my things. I didn't need any of that shit while I was just trying to get away. Jax agreed, but made me promise to take him with me when I went to get my stuff. I didn't need the drama I knew it would create, but I wasn't sure what Matt was capable of anymore so I reluctantly took Jax's deal.
I was kind of afraid of what they would do to him. I witnessed the things they did to people, even if they deserved it. Matt was a good guy, we had a lot of great memories and had a lot of fun. It just seemed the past couple years had gone to shit and he always chalked it up to my association with the club and refusal to stop being involved with them. I didn't buy it though, I knew he hated Jax with a passion, but there had to be something else going on for him to go off the deep end the way he did. The signs were all there, but honestly, I didn't care enough to figure out what it was. I had lost myself in Juice and that scared the shit out of me.
My phone vibrated violently in my hand and caused me to jump. Juice looked at me with a concerned glare. I glanced at the screen and then back at him, "its Matt."
This was like the millionth time he had called. I ignored them all but knew he wouldn't give up. I pressed the decline button and proceeded to shut my phone off. I didn't need to hear any excuses or sorry voicemails from him.
Juice pulled my car into his driveway behind his bike. Without a word he climbed out and came around to help me out. I swear they all thought I was a china doll that would shatter at the drop of a hat.
I walked alongside him to the front door and stepped inside before he did. My bag was still in the same place. It felt awkward to me, I had never stayed more then a few hours here and now I would be calling this my "home" for at least a few days.
Sure, we had sex many times, but now it was different and the awkwardness was apparent to Juice too. "You can stay in my room, I'll sleep in the guest room. I'll put your bag in there for you."
"I'm not going to take your room, Juice." I hesistated with my next question, this was foreign to me, having to ask someone to sleep with me. "I was actually hoping you would stay with me tonight? I don't want to be alone." I knew the storm that was brewing outside the house and I just wanted one night of comfort and peace.
He nodded and followed me to the bedroom with my bag.
(Juice's POV)
I barely slept. I couldn't, I finally had her in my house, and in bed, for more then just sex. I held her the entire night. It just felt right, but the realities of the circumstances were kneading at my subconscious.
I wasn't sure when it happened. At first it was just a friend helping another friend through some rough patches. But the more she came to me and the more I learned about her, the more I knew she was not supposed to be with Matt, which was for damn sure. It seemed to hit me all at once one night a few months ago. I knew something was happening when I didn't want her to leave after our nightly rendezvous. I also knew I was in for it when I became uninterested in the fun and meaningless fuck from Christie, my usual sweet butt choice.
I knew this was not the time to talk about my feelings for her though. She needed me as a friend, but I couldn't shake the fact that she told Jax no one knew what was going on.
I felt her body shift next to me and my focus went back to her. She was beautiful, even with all the bumps and bruises. Her long, dark auburn hair and olive colored skin made me melt with just one look. I'm not this guy, this "mushy" guy who falls in love, but she made it hard not to be. She was everything a member could want in an old lady, most importantly she understood club life.
"Stop thinking so hard, I can smell smoke." I looked over and she still had her eyes closed. She finally managed to roll over and face me before opening her eyes. They were still as bright blue as ever. "What's wrong, Juice? You've been quiet since we left the clubhouse last night."
I didn't want to bring it up, not here. I wanted to enjoy this moment because I knew it would be hell once our feet hit the carpet.
"Nothing, I'm just tired."
"I call bullshit." I knew she wasn't going to let it go.
"Just not sure why you didn't tell Jax that I knew about Matt."
She sighed and I knew I had pushed a button. "I just wasn't ready to get into that, Juice. I will tell him, once we figure out whatever this is that's going on between us, but right now I just don't need all the bullshit from him and Op."
She was right, I wasn't sure how my brothers would feel about me fucking one of their best friends for almost a year without them knowing. I also wasn't sure how they would feel about her running to me for help and not going to one of them. They were like the big brothers she didn't have.
I thought about her words. "Whatever this is" I wasn't even sure what was going on between us. I know how I feel, but all I know for sure is she comes over, we have sex and she goes home and I KNEW that wouldn't go over well with the guys.
She cut me off before I could answer her when her lips pressed firmly against mine. She wrapped her slender fingers around my wrists and guided my arms around her waist as she deepened the kiss. Her tongue traced the outline of my bottom lip, begging for entrance. I signaled permission by parting my lips just enough so she could slide her tongue in between them.
(Holli's POV)
I ran my hands over his muscular frame, tracing the outline of his firm abs. I wanted this, no I needed this release. I moved to straddle him when I stopped dead in my tracks. I felt pain radiating from my rib cage to the top of my head.
Juice could sense what was wrong. "I think you need to just take it easy, Hol. I don't need you hurting yourself anymore than you already are."
He was right, I didn't need to be in any more pain. I was going to be here for at least a few days anyway, I didn't need to rush it. I just wanted him so bad.
I nodded and laid my head back down on the pillow. Juice hopped out of bed and made his way to the kitchen to get my pain pills. My mind drifted to the last year. I thought about my relationship with Matt. It had been over for a long time, long before I started coming to Juice with my problems. We had grown into two different people, we weren't in high school anymore.
Matt had a stable job at the mill, but he never wanted to do anything. He never wanted to hang out with anyone, he just wanted to sit on the couch and drink. I didn't stay in touch with many people, I really was only close with Jax and Op. Along with that came Tara and Donna but since Donna died I didn't really have any close girlfriends. Tara and I were becoming closer, especially since her and Jax were so serious, but since dating Matt I had really secluded myself from others.
Juice was the one person I knew that first night I left Matt that wouldn't ask any questions. We hadn't been that close before that, had a few conversations here and there, but there was something about him that drew me to him. The first few times we fucked I thought it was just me taking my anger and frustration out on him and I ALWAYS felt better afterwards. A few months ago it became harder to leave and have to go back home to Matt. I was sure Juice was fucking other women, and he had no reason not to, but something about knowing we were nothing but secrets in each others lives really got to me.
Juice handed me my Percocet and some water, stirring me from the mess rattling around in my brain. I had too much shit going on with Matt to think about what was going on between Juice and I. Right now all I knew was the sex was something I knew I couldn't be without.
-BREAK-
I struggled through my shower, I had no idea I would be in so much pain. I needed help washing my hair but I refused to ask Juice. I didn't need to rely on him anymore than I already had.
I dried my hair and pulled it back into a sweeping ponytail, I made sure to put some cover up over the bruises adorning my face. I threw on a pair of bootcut jeans, a plain white v-neck t-shirt and my boots. I made my way to the living room and wasn't surprised to see Jax there waiting for me.
"Ready?" He questioned with a glance.
I wasn't ready. I knew Matt would be home and I wasn't ready to face that demon yet. The only strength I could find was in knowing Jax would be with me.
I simply nodded and snatched my sunglasses off the coffee table.
"Juice, need you too. I don't know how this is going to go down."