A/N: Hi, everyone! I am so sorry that I haven't been able to update in a while. There's just been so much going on, and I haven't had the time or energy to write. However, I'm hoping that things will settle down soon. Anyway, I've kept you guys waiting long enough so here's the next chapter!
I'm completely and totally in love with him.
Elizabeth shook her head, and tucked the list into her purse. Damn it. This was supposed to convince her to stay away from Jason, not the other way around. Now, she was more frustrated than ever.
With a sigh, she gathered her things and made her way back to work. She stayed busy for an hour, just like usual. Work was good for her though. It took her mind off of Jason, at least temporarily. Unfortunately, she just had to be at the nurses' station when she heard voices coming from the elevator. And there wasn't time for her to disappear.
"Sam, this is ridiculous. I'm telling you this won't help", Jason tried to convince her for the fifteenth time in the last few minutes. But she had insisted on taking him to the hospital to be checked out.
"You don't know that, Jason. I'm sure they can do something to help you get your memory back."
He rolled his eyes as he walked alongside her, until he caught sight of Elizabeth. And he was never happier to see her.
Elizabeth wasn't sure what she should do. Sam couldn't know that she had known for weeks that Jason was alive. So, what was she supposed to do? Act surprised? She wasn't that good of an actress. Not at all.
"Elizabeth", Sam spoke as she walked over to her. "You're not going to believe this."
Ugh, this floor was awfully hard. It would really hurt if she had to fake a fainting spell. Unless she could land just right...no, that idea was ridiculous. But it wouldn't really involve her having to act, so maybe it was the best way to go. Sam could not know that she knew already. The last thing she needed was having the whole town against her for keeping him a secret for so long.
"Believe what?", she asked as casually as she could, deliberately not looking in Jason's direction.
Sam pointed at him. "Jason is alive!"
Her lips parted and her eyes widened in her best phony expression of shock. Her gaze slowly moved in his direction, and her eyes met his. In an attempt to faint properly, she let herself fall backwards. Completely forgetting that the desk was right behind her. She realized this the painful way as her head violently collided with a corner of it.
"Elizabeth!", Jason cried, kneeling down beside her. It didn't knock her out, thankfully. She was just a little slow to sit up.
"Jason? You're...alive?", she asked, still trying to maintain the ruse. God, she was going to have a migraine for the next week because of her stupid theatrics. She touched the throbbing side of her head with her hand as Jason helped her sit up.
"Is she okay?", Sam asked, kneeling down beside him.
He nodded. "I think so." If she wasn't, he doubted that she would still be trying to sell the oblivous act to Sam. He just wished that she hadn't gotten herself hurt in the process.
"Whoa. What happened to you?", Patrick asked, stopping when he saw Elizabeth on the floor.
"Patrick, Jason...he's alive!", she breathed, realizing that he needed to look surprised too.
It took the doctor a few moments to figure out what she was trying to do. "Oh! Wow!", he finally exclaimed, giving off a surprised look that was even phonier than her own.
Elizabeth resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Well, now she knew that Patrick was incapable of acting. She did a better job after hitting her head. She looked towards Sam, whose eyes were narrowing. Almost like she was suspicious already. Damn.
"I tried to tell you", Jason reminded a frustrated Sam on the car ride back home.
Basically, they didn't learn any more than he had when Elizabeth had taken him to get checked out. Only that there was no reason why his more recent memories were blocked out. So, the trip to the hospital was pretty much a waste of time. Plus, it had almost resulted in Elizabeth getting a concussion, which he felt extremely guilty about.
"This just doesn't make any sense!", Sam lamented, leaning her head back against the seat. "We're married, and you don't even remember me!"
Jason resisted the urge to say what he was thinking at that moment. He was getting the feeling that he would be doing that a lot from now on. He gazed out the window as she continued to rant and speculate as to what was wrong with him. After Sam had picked up Danny from her mother (he assumed that she didn't tell Alexis anything), they headed back to the penthouse.
For Sam's part, she tried just about every trick in the book to jog his memory. Showing him old pictures and the DVD from their wedding. Telling him stories. Nothing helped. And when all else failed, she tried to convince him to sleep with her. As if that would magically help him remember everything. It took him a while to get out of that one.
Sam was suffocating him. He supposed that he couldn't entirely blame her. She had just gotten her husband back, after all. But why did her husband have to be him? He didn't want to be there. He was already missing Elizabeth and the boys. When Sam finally left him alone for more than two seconds, he decided to check up on her via text message.
Hey, I'm sorry about what happened at the hospital earlier. Are you still feeling okay?
Elizabeth sighed as she looked down at the message on her phone. Like she wasn't having enough trouble getting him off of her mind as it was. It was even harder once she had gotten home from work. The house felt so...empty. The boys weren't their normal energetic selves. They seemed almost as depressed as she felt, no doubt due to Jason's absence. They had been doing just fine before he came back, but now there was an umistakable dreariness surrounding them.
That's ok. I'm fine. Did Sam buy it?
Jason wasn't entirely sure. But he was certain that Sam was more intent on making him remember her than thinking about Elizabeth's botched fainting attempt.
I think so. How are the boys? I miss them...and you.
A hint of a smile played on her lips. It made her feel good to know that he was missing them just like they were missing him. God, how tempted she was to just tell him the truth! But she knew that she wouldn't. Jason's life was complicated enough already without him having to deal with the knowledge of how she really felt about him.
Oh, they're fine. They miss you too though.
He sighed to himself, wishing that he could be with her and the boys right now. Instead, he was stuck here with a woman that he didn't love and a child that he didn't even really feel a connection to. He wished he could feel something for them, but he just couldn't. It made no sense. None of this made any sense.
I wish things didn't have to be this way.
So did she. Life was unfair. Her head told her that she needed to stay far away from this situation. It would turn into a train wreck soon enough, and she would be caught right in the middle of it. But her heart told her that she could never truly be happy without Jason.
But they do. At least for now.
Jason used the excuse of informing the rest of the town of his presence in order to get away from his wife for a little while. Though a part of him did not want anyone else to know. It was bad enough now that Sam knew.
"But can't you do that tomorrow?", she asked hopefully. "I kind of want one night where I don't have to share you with everyone else."
He sighed, feeling completely stuck. "Yeah, fine. I guess I can wait until tomorrow."
Sam allowed herself to smile. She couldn't be more thrilled that her husband was alive. However, the fact that he couldn't remember her was leaving her feeling more than a bit disturbed.
"What can I do, Jason?", she asked him. "I don't know what else I can do to help you remember our life. We were so happy. I know it can be that way again. Just tell me what I can do."
Jason couldn't help but feel sympathy for her, but he was in love with someone else. He couldn't imagine any feelings he may have had for Sam ever coming close to the connection that he had with Elizabeth.
"I don't know, Sam", he said quietly.
A moment of silence passed before she spoke. "It will be fine. It will. We've made it through so much, and we'll make it through this. Because we love each other. That's all that matters."
He just sighed as she rested her head against his chest. He didn't know what he was going to do. This was the life that he had gotten himself into. To her credit, Sam did seem more mature than he remembered. Maybe it wasn't that bad being married to her. However, this wasn't at all what he had thought he was coming back to. He had thought he was coming back to a whole different family.
He would do anything to get Elizabeth back. Of course, he knew that it wouldn't be easy. But he knew if he could convince her to give him one more chance, he would prove to her that things would be different this time. But could she trust him enough to risk getting hurt again?
Elizabeth glanced out the kitchen window. The setting sun was barely visible behind the thick layer of rain clouds. They were calling for thunderstorms tonight. Fitting, she decided.
She wondered what Jason was doing at that moment. Had he started to remember Sam yet? Was he realizing that he loved her after all? As much as she tried, it was just impossible to get her mind off of him. With a sigh, she finished up dinner as thunder started to rumble.
"Cameron! Aiden!", she called. "Time for dinner!"
Within a few moments, the boys met her in the dining room. Few words were exchanged throughout the meal. The boys looked as depressed as she felt. She knew that they missed having Jason around, and it was her fault for letting them get attached to him to begin with. Maybe she should've forced Jason to go back to Sam the minute that she realized he was alive.
"Guys, I know you miss Jason", she said softly. "But it's gonna be okay, I promise. We've always done fine on our own, haven't we?"
Cameron shrugged, still looking down at his plate. "I guess."
"Is he gonna come back?", Aiden asked.
"No", his brother replied, before Elizabeth even had a chance to respond. "They never come back."
"Cam...", Elizabeth sighed.
"It's true, mom. Dad didn't even want to be in the same country as us."
"Baby, that isn't true", she tried to assure her son. "Your dad loves both of you very much."
"Then, why isn't he here?", Cameron asked quietly.
Her eyes shined with unshed tears. Tears that she would hold back with everything she had in front of the kids. She was their mom, and they needed her to be strong. But she wasn't sure how long she could keep doing this.
"I want you two to look at me", she said gently.
Both of them obliged. Her older son immediately felt guilty. He could see that his mom was upset, no matter how much she tried to hide it.
"I know you miss your dad. I know you miss Jason. And as much as I may want to, I can't make either of them walk through that door. But the one thing that I can promise you is that you have me. And you have each other. We are a family. Always."
Her youngest son smiled. "I love you, mommy."
"So do I", her oldest son agreed.
Elizabeth hugged them both, forcing a faint smile. "I love you guys too."
And they were going to be okay. She was going to make sure of it. Until Jason remembered everything, there was no way that she could pursue any kind of future with him. She wasn't going to have a real family, and then run the risk of it getting ripped from her at any given moment.
Not to say that she didn't want to follow her heart. She did...more than anything. But every time she did, it resulted in disaster. This time, she was actually going to take the smart approach. Wait until Jason gets his memory back, and see what happens. If he still wanted to be with her, then maybe she would let her heart take over.
There was just one problem with this plan. It was going to be easier said than done.
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