Thanks a lot for your reviews!
I came across this draft today; apparently I wrote it almost a year ago but never got around to posting it, I think. I get the feeling that I was supposed to take the idea somewhere, but since it didn't go anywhere in a year, I figure I may as well leave it as it is~ So here is some unseen material for those who have already read the other drabbles at Ice&Spice.
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By: Kanae (Goth-Punk88)
Rating: K+
Genre: Romance, drama, general.
Word Count: 1.803
Summary: They had a silent agreement to never ask each other that. Sometimes the simplest of questions were the most dangerous, and for them why was the most dangerous of them all.
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Why
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When Sasuke helps her, edgeless patience somehow overriding and deflecting the sharpness of his gaze, Karin wants to know.
Why.
But the question feels foreign, dangerous; unfitting and forbidden. Like he would slam the doors of his psyche on her face if she so much as dared to try and trespass into the territory confined by that question.
Trespass into his past.
So Karin says thank you instead, and watches as Sasuke's eyes widen for a fraction of a second before returning to their normal size, a nonchalant hn leaving his lips and drawing a smile across Karin's own.
"You're with Orochimaru," Karin states, and lets her silence do the rest.
Sasuke does not hesitate.
"I seek the power to kill one man."
Why is what Karin wants to ask. "Who?" is what she inquires instead.
For a moment, Sasuke just stares. He is seizing her up, that much Karin knows. And so she waits for his judgment, all along wondering what would it be? Silence, or perhaps the truth?
She finds her reply in his eyes before he voices it aloud.
"My brother," he says at last.
That night, Karin makes no more questions.
"I will help you."
She states the following night, and Sasuke gives her an unreadable look; it is apparent that he does not understand her decision—her offer.
And yet he nods alright without asking why.
And a pact is made.
One that left room for no questions.
Karin bites down on her bottom lip to hold back her cries, but there's no fighting the acrid bitterness of the tears that gather in her eyes and blur her vision—just like there was no fighting the bleeding of her soiled arm as she gathered it against her chest, curled into herself like a wounded animal.
It is in such a pitiful state that he finds her.
"…You don't have to do this to yourself."
He says, after a pregnant pause; his voice was quiet, and no passerby would have dared to mistake his solemnity for concern.
But Karin knew better than them. And so she wipes her unleashed tears away with shaky fingertips, and raises her face to meet his gaze.
"You're wrong, Sasuke."
And in that moment, Karin sees it the clearest.
A why clearly reflected in the incredulousness darkening his obsidian eyes. Exposed before it, Karin averts her own; feigns ignorance in hopes Sasuke will forbade the question just as they had learnt to do.
She is equal parts relieved and disappointed when he does.
"Come, Karin. Let's get you cleaned up."
Thankful, she lets herself be guided by his touch.
And since Sasuke does not ask why, Karin does not tell him I want to become stronger to be of use to you.
She has been waiting for him. A part of him seems to realize it, because he wastes no time with pleasantries and goes straight to the point.
"Come with me, Karin. I need you."
She knows her reply just as well as she knew he would come, but it's been six months since the last time he came to see her and worse, he has not come alone. So she indulges herself by playing hard to get, delaying the inevitable.
Yet, despite her charade, she does not question why has he come to her; what does he need her for.
This was something they had wordlessly agreed to a long, long time ago.
It was time to honor her word.
"We're going to crush Konoha."
There's a turbulent whirlwind in his chakra as he announces his plan to them; waves crashing against the sand as if in echo of the thunderstorm the hatred and rancor swirling inside of him were promising to harvest.
It is the first time his chakra has made her shiver with trepidation—but as Sasuke turns to face them, trails of dried tears bared for them all to see, Karin leaves her own apprehension behind and drowns in the pain in his gaze; latches onto her need to drive it away, one push at a time, until there were no clouds left to shadow the sun of his smile.
"We're going to crush Konoha," Sasuke repeats, and while his gaze is set on Tobi's—Madara's—it is by her side that he comes to stand.
"You should all go rest for the night, we'll discuss your plans tomorrow."
The masked man leaves without waiting for their agreement, and Karin's gaze shifts from his back to Sasuke's profile.
We're going to crush Konoha, he had said, and she did not need to ask why; that man had told them enough. But there was one question that she could not sidestep, even though she could tell what his reply would be.
"…Are you sure about this, Sasuke?"
For a breath, his shoulders stiffen—but then his jaw sets and he gives her a hard, sidelong regard. "… Konoha will pay, Karin. There's no room for doubt; that village means nothing to me anymore."
She sees beyond his vehemence, hears beyond his words—but she does not push. And as he forges ahead, the three of them follow his trail.
Her unzipped shirt lies at her waist, her naked back to him as he weighted the damage his Amaterasu had done. Yet, despite her nudity, Karin does not feel exposed; there was little of her that Sasuke hadn't yet seen. Trails of his teeth and ghosts of his touch across places she would not—ever—let anyone else touch.
But she does feel nervous; as if she were about to walk on thin ice. It wasn't like her to question—or mention—the lengths to which Sasuke would or wouldn't go for her; the little details that he himself probably did not notice, but that to her meant the world and more.
And yet this time she could do nothing to stop the words from bubbling up her throat like sea foam. "…You stayed behind for me, Sasuke."
It is a plain statement that means many things at once—you risked your life for me, you jeopardized your revenge—but above all, it is a question in disguise.
Why?
There is a gravid pause as Sasuke breathes behind her; and then his fingertips come to softly trace her upper back—the spot where his black flames had burnt her.
"… It won't leave any scars."
Karin places her shirt back on and pretends she did not shiver under his touch—pretends his silence did not disgruntle her.
"…Right."
Pretending.
It was a game both of them knew only too well.
She does not know where they are. Does not know what is happening, why is it happening—does not quite understand what is wrong with Sasuke, or how to fix it.
She felt that uncertainty down to her core; and she cannot hide the worry from her stare as Sasuke uprights himself into a sitting position and cleanses the trail of blood on his cheek with a dirty hand.
"…You are overdoing it, Sasuke," Karin mutters, but Sasuke offers no signs of having heard her.
She frowns, drawing her cloak closer to herself; there was no breeze in this confined space of nothingness, but suddenly she felt quite cold. "If Tobi hadn't gotten there when he did, you wouldn't have made it. Neither of us would have."
She is startled when he calls her name, bangs shadowing his eyes.
"…Will you still follow me?"
It's an unexpected question—one that makes Karin press her lips together in a thin line, her stare boring into his skull.
She does not know what is happening to him, and to his chakra; does not know where his overbearing lust for revenge would take them. Has no way to know if his inability to let go of the ghosts of the past would make him follow them to the grave, dragging her under with him as offering for his kin.
But despite all the things she did not know, there was one truth that quieted all her doubts and steadied her resolve.
"…Yeah."
Sasuke turns to face her, then—troubled obsidian meeting resolute red, and searching. Wondering.
But it's another why that remains unvoiced—and so Karin offers him nothing but what was written across her eyes.
I'm not letting you die alone.
She does not know if Sasuke understands; but his chakra tells her he just might.
As she stares up at him, frightened by the look in his eyes, then more than ever Karin does not dare to ask why.
Why are you discarding me? Why?
She is too scared of the reply.
When their paths cross again, Sasuke has only one question to make.
"What do you want, Karin?"
Why are you here, after what I've done to you?
Karin is not ready to strip his real question from its disguise just yet; he had betrayed her, forsaken her and disappointed her heart.
She does not trust him—not yet.
But there was something that had not changed; despite the pain and the blood and her stubborn want to believe otherwise.
And so she bypasses the question by stating a truth.
"You."
"Why?"
Sasuke dares to ask it for the first and final time as she holds him in her arms, and despite the direness of the circumstances Karin finds her lips quirking upward.
Figures it would be him the one to cave first.
Truth be told, she is still not sure if he was ready to hear the answer; too little time had transpired, too many things were left to address. But his eyes are lucidly begging her for it, and so she gives in.
Gives in to them. Gives in to him.
But Karin has never been good with words, so she lets her lips catch his instead. He is too stunned to reciprocate, too exhausted to move—but Karin doesn't quite mind.
She has been waiting for this moment for as long as she can remember; and now that it had come, all she felt was relief. It was like a weight she had not realized she was carrying had been lifted off her shoulders by the mere fact of being finally honest with him, once and for all.
The kiss comes to an end, and Karin finds herself smiling down at him.
"Always," is all she says. And it says everything.
Understanding dawns on Sasuke's eyes, and he weakly raises a hand to lay his fingertips against her cheek.
Always, the gesture echoed, and Karin closes her eyes and leans into his touch.
That's why.
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End.
I usually avoid stating their feelings (be it Karin's or Sasuke's) because I like to play with that unspoken nature that I feel SK has; but I get the feeling that Kishi may probably not be as tacit as he has been so far sooner or later, so I decided to explore this a bit more myself, haha. Hopefully it wasn't too corny.
As always, for those who have read up to this point: thank you! I would love to read your thoughts, so if you've got some time, please don't hesitate to leave me a review.
The next oneshot will probably be way darker than the previous two; so look forward to it!