A/N: Goodbye Fluff, and hello Angst...
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Glee!
PLEASE enjoy, favorite, follow and REVIEW!
Btw for whatever reason, I made Valentine's Day on a Wednesday in this story... but yeah so it doesn't match with real time lol yeah so anyway moving on.
Santana and Dani were still going strong as January drew to a close. As February came in, Santana started thinking about when she would tell Dani that she loved her. She was sure of it now, she did love that blue-haired senior that had saved her back in October. Now Valentine's Day was coming up, and she figured that would be the best time for those three words to be said.
However, the week before Valentine's Day, Dani started acting kind of weird. Santana tried to think nothing of it. Maybe Dani was on her period, or Becca had done something to make her mad or something. Basically, Santana didn't question it.
But on the Friday before Valentine's Day, which was the Wednesday after, Dani started acting even more weird. A few times during the day, she started to say something to Santana, before saying never mind. It got Santana kind of suspicious and confused. She avoided asking about it, though, because she was worried that she would make Dani upset or something.
After her last period, Santana started toward Dani's locker. They'd made a habit of meeting there and walking to the choir room together, which Santana much preferred over how they used to just wait for one another in there. However, she noticed something odd. Dani seemed to be taking more things out of her locker.
"Hey, are you ready to go to Glee?" Santana asked, eying her girlfriend carefully. "What are you doing?"
"Cleaning out my locker," Dani answered, her voice tense.
"I see that," Santana muttered, feeling as though something bad was going to happen. There could only be one really good reason for Dani to be cleaning out her locker, but Santana couldn't bare to think about it. "Why?"
Dani looked up at Santana with a weak smile. "My parent's lawsuit is over, Santana. I'm going back to LA."
"Oh," Santana said blankly, feeling her steeled expression, the one she used to use a lot before she met Dani, slide over her face. "Who won?"
"Unfortunately, my mom," Dani answered with a sigh. "But I'm not eighteen yet. She's making me come back. But at least I'll get to graduate with all my friends in LA."
"Yep," Santana replied, glancing away from the blue-haired girl. "So, when are you leaving? Sunday?"
Dani hesitated. "Um, tonight."
Santana's eyes snapped back over to her girlfriend. "What? And you chose now to tell me? How long have you known that you were leaving?"
"A-about a week," Dani answered.
Santana closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Alright. Cool. Whatever. So, what about us?"
Silence. Santana opened her eyes, seeing Dani standing there in deep thought, or something.
"Dani, what about us?"
"Santana, I really, really like you. But I'm about to move away again, and then I'm going to graduate and go even further in life. You still have a year of high school after this," Dani told her weakly.
"I'm aware, thanks," Santana snapped, immediately resorting to bitchiness from the heartbreak she was feeling. "Are you trying to tell me that you want to end this?"
"What do you want me to do, Santana? Stay here and wait for you for a year? You're too scared to be public with our relationship. I can't do that for another year," Dani told her, her voice firmer.
"So you're leaving me?" Santana asked, her voice sounding much too small and weak than she wanted it to. "You're just going to leave me?"
Dani lowered her gaze. "Santana, you are the best thing that's ever happened to me. But I'm leaving here and I'm not coming back. I don't have a good enough reason to stay."
"I'm not a good enough reason to stay?" Santana asked, her face blank.
Dani gave her a look of defeat. "I can't stay here, Santana. You knew I was going to go back to LA toward the end of the year."
"So stay here! Stay here until your graduation and then go back!" Santana exclaimed.
"I can't Santana! My mom is making me come back! There's nothing I can do about this, so don't get angry at me!" Dani exclaimed.
Santana took a deep breath. "Yes, Dani, I knew that you were going to leave. I was prepared for it, at least a little bit. But you didn't even think to give me a week's notice? And I didn't know that when you left, you were going to leave me, too. Long distance relationships exist, you know?"
Dani blinked and a tear fell from her right eye. She shook her head slowly. "I can't. You can't. It would be too hard, Santana. I don't know what the hell I'm going to be doing in the next year. You're going to be busy with high school, still, and you're probably going to start being interested in someone else anyway. I don't want to hold you back."
Santana crossed her arms, desperately holding back tears. "So, wait a second. When you told me that you were going to make me believe in love... that's all this was? Some big plot to help some lonely girl believe in love again?"
"Of course not, Santana!" Dani exclaimed, sounding really offended. "Do you really think I would do that?"
"I don't know anymore," Santana said with a shake of her head. "Well guess what. Whatever your plan was, it worked. I believe in love now, or at least I did before you tore that from me just now. I can't believe I let you do that to me."
"Wait... what?" Dani asked.
"I can't believe I let you make me fall so hard. I can't believe I fell so hard. I-I knew this was going to happen. This doesn't last. It can't, it's not possible. Thank you, Dani, for reminding me of that. I'm sure I'll get over you eventually, just like I did Brittany. But this time, I'm not going to try again. Thank you from saving me from a repeat of heartbreak after heartbreak," Santana snapped, turning and holding back tears as she headed to the choir room. She wanted to go home and cry, but she had promised Rachel she'd got to Glee today.
"Santana, wait! You love me?" Dani asked, her voice quiet.
Santana turned back to face her for just a moment. "I did. But apparently that's not a good enough reason for you to stay."
Santana found herself walking into the choir room with a blank stare on her face. She was barely keeping herself together as it was. She sat in the back of the classroom.
DDD
Dani couldn't believe what had just happened. Santana loved her? Dani ruined it, she knew she did. If she'd known that Santana loved her, she might have tried the long distance thing. But now she couldn't. She thought it was maybe for the best anyway. She didn't want to hold Santana back, and she didn't want Santana to hold her back.
That thought didn't help the breaking she felt in her chest.
She took a deep breath as she entered the choir room. She was just going to say goodbye, then she was gone. Mr. Shue was about to start talking, but she quickly said, "Uh, Mr. Shue... can I say something real fast?"
He nodded and stepped out of the way.
Dani looked up at the group of sophomores and juniors that had become her family. She looked at the girl she'd fallen in love with and had just pushed away. "So, after I say my goodbyes here now, I'm flying back to LA to live with my mom until graduation. I wish I could go to Nationals with you guys, but I know you'll win without me anyway. You all have become my home away from home. I am so glad I met you all."
Her eyes landed on Santana and lingered there, but Santana was wearing a cold expression as she stared at a spot on the wall, and not at Dani.
"I uh, prepared a song to sing to you before I leave," she said, addressing the whole club but hoping that Santana understand what she meant by "you". It was for Santana. She wanted Santana to hear it, especially now.
"When you're ready, Dani," Shue said to her.
Dani nodded at the band and piano guys, and they nodded back and started to play. Taking a deep breath, Dani began to sing.
"Looking up from underneath,
Fractured moonlight on the sea,
Reflections still look the same to me,
As before I went under.
And it's peaceful in the deep,
Cathedral where you cannot sleep,
No need to pray, no need to speak,
Now I am under.
Oh, and it's breaking over me,
A thousand miles down to the sea bed,
Found a place to rest my head..."
The girls in the choir room, aside from Santana, echoed with her the background words of "Never let me go, never let me go... Never let me go, never let me go..."
"And the arms of the ocean!
Are carrying me!
And all this devotion!
Was rushing out of me!
And the crashes are heaven!
For a sinner like me!
And the arms of the ocean,
Delivered me..."
Santana's eyes bore into Dani's, and no one seemed to notice their intense eye contact. Dani wasn't even sure of the message she was trying to send Santana, but the Latina was getting it nonetheless.
"Although the pressure's hard to take,
It's the only way I can escape,
Seems a heavy choice to make,
Now I am under.
Oh, and it's breaking over me!
A thousand miles down to the sea bed!
Found a place to rest my head!"
Again, the glee girls and Dani echoed "Never let me go, never let me go... Never let me go, never let me go..."
"And the arms of the ocean!
Are carrying me!
And all this devotion!
Was rushing out of me!
And the crushes are heaven!
For a sinner like me!
But the arms of the ocean!
Delivered me!
And it's over!
And I'm... going under...
But I'm not giving up!
I'm just giving in..."
The glee girls echoed the "Ohh" with Dani.
"Ohh, sinking underneath,
Ohh, so cold but so sweet.
In the arms of the ocean,
So sweet and so cold.
And all this devotion,
I never knew went on.
And the crashes are heaven,
For a sinner released.
And the arms of the ocean...
Delivered me!"
The glee girls echoed the endless "Never let me go"s, while Dani sang a line every four or so of the background lines.
"Delivered me!
Delivered me!
Delivered me!
Delivered me!"
The glee girls continued their backup singing as Dani belted out the next lines.
"And it's over,
And I'm goin under!
But I'm not giving up!
I'm just giving in!
And whoa!
Slipping underneath!
Ohhh,
So cold, but so sweet!"
Dani broke her gaze with Santana and looked to the floor as the band finished playing the music of the song.
SSS
Santana got up when the song was over and left the room. She couldn't handle it. The tears were coming. What the hell was Dani doing? Never let her go? Right after she'd basically just told Santana that she didn't want to be with her, couldn't ever be with her after now. Santana didn't understand, and she was barely even aware of her actions as she found herself in a bathroom, curled up in a ball in the corner, sobbing her eyes out.
Someone came in there after a few minutes, and Santana was terrified that it would be Quinn or Dani, but she saw that it was Rachel. After glancing at the girl, she sobbed harder. Even though she didn't want to see Dani, she knew that the only one who could make her feel better was her girlfriend. No, her ex-girlfriend.
Rachel sat next to her. "I'm sorry, Santana. Dani is waiting a few more minutes to see if you're going to come back in the choir room and say goodbye to her."
Santana didn't answer.
"I hope to see you back in there," Rachel told her softly, getting up and leaving again.
Santana cried for probably ten minutes before she stood and wiped away her tears. She fixed her makeup until it no longer looked like she'd been crying.
She came back to the room and found that Dani was gone. She made sure that her expression was steeled over as she walked back to her seat in the back, ignoring the club member's stares.
"What was that about, Santana?" Mercedes asked. "She wanted to say goodbye to you."
"She already did," the Latina snapped at the darker girl.
"Shouldn't you be happy for her?" Quinn asked, silently analyzing Santana's expressions.
"I'm happy that she gets to go graduate with her friends, if that's what you want to hear," Santana muttered. That was probably the only thing she was happy about. She met Rachel's, and saw them reflecting her hurt and sadness. She felt tears forming in her eyes again and she quickly lowered her gaze.
"Lopez, are you crying?" Puck asked. "Never thought I'd see the day."
Rachel stood suddenly. "Stop bothering her, you guys. Let her be."
"Do you know something, Rachel?" Quinn asked suddenly, sounding offended that Rach knew whatever was going on and she didn't.
"Look, Santana can react to all of this the way she wants to—"
"I just don't understand what it is that she's been hiding from us," Tina piped up. "We all know there's something. She was so depressed, and then she was happy, then depressed again, and now for the last month she's been the happiest I've ever seen her. Something's gotta be going on in her head.
Everyone piped up in agreement. Rachel and Kurt tried to calm everyone down. Santana listened, her sadness slowly turning into a kind of rage. She found herself standing. "Shut up! You have no idea what you're messing with, alright?"
"Tell us, then!" Mercedes demanded.
Santana's expression was hardened as she scanned over all of the people. A quick battle went through her mind. To tell or not to tell. Finally, she decided that she might as well. It would be one thing out of the way. Maybe Dani would find out and realize that she wasn't some kid. She was brave. "You want to know my biggest secret so bad? Dani and I weren't just friends. We've been dating since November, so excuse me if I'm a little upset about her leaving."
Silence, a few gasps. Quinn's expression suddenly relaxed. "I knew it."
Santana didn't question that. She figured that Quinn had suspected something of the sort. Mercedes said, "You could have told us." Her voice was softer now. Santana hated that it sounded like pity.
"Well I didn't."
"S, long distance—"
Santana just shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut. She'd tried that option. Dani wasn't going to stay with her, that much was clear. She needed to just go home and cry it out a bit. "I have to go," she muttered, grabbing her bag and leaving the choir room.
She started to sob again as she walked toward the parking lot, but she realized when she reached it that she didn't have a car or a ride. She glanced at Dani's old parking spot and shook her head.
Suddenly an arm wrapped around her shoulder. Quinn. She leaned against her best friend for a moment, and then found herself grabbing her in a hug and crying into her shoulder. She didn't know why she hadn't told Quinn earlier. Quinn always knew what to do.
"Come on, S, I'll take you home."
Song was Never Let Me Go, by Florence And The Machine. Listen to it, it's amazing.
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I'm sorry for the sadness. :(
Love you all! Goodnight, and please review! :)