Hello everyone! I am so sorry for the long wait between updates! I will not lie I neglected this one due to getting pulled into writing my new one "Sons Of Durin: Gobline Town" I would like to apologize a head of time but the "Copy-N-Paste" option no longer has any text editors =/ am I missing it some how? it makes me sad lol.

~Chapter 5: Keep watching over Durin's son

He knew he was dreaming, but he welcomed it. He could not remember what was happening before he was asleep, but he remembered he was in no hurry to return to he knew this dream was better than where he had come from.

Everything flew by quickly in his Dream, he first saw himself and Kili playing on the frozen pond, he was suddenly younger and so was Kili. If the blond prince had been human he might have been 14 at oldest.

He was trying to teach Kili how to run on ice without falling. Then when it started to break, he grabbed Kili's arm as they both rushed to land and dove into the snow panting then started laughing.

He then saw himself and Kili building a snow dwarf. The sun was setting in the distance when they had finally completed the snow dwarf.
Kili had taken some extra snow and packed it on the stomach and face of the snow dwarf "Look its Bombur!" he giggled, causing Fili to laugh.

All these good times rushed through the dream too quickly for Fili, he wanted to slow down and enjoy the dreams a little longer, he wanted a little more time with his Kili. 'More time with my Kili?' he wondered why he found himself longing for Kili as if he was gone, had something happened to his Kili that his unconscious mind was keeping from him? 'No, it couldn't have...we were just together...were we not?' He thought to himself, as he started to struggle to remember what happened.

After the snow dwarf was built, Kili had hit Fili with a snowball starting a full out snow ball fight that both boys were determined to win.

The snow ball fight ended when the sun was long gone and Fili allowed Kili to throw the winning hit.
Dis had already called for the boys twice and Fili knew if she had to call a third time Thorin would come looking for them, which meant a scolding.

Next Fili found himself sitting by a fire dripping wet with melted snow. He had his right arm around his equally wet little brother's shoulders.

"Well, I hope you are happy Kili" he laughed, knowing his little brother had at least as much fun as he did.

Kili shared his laugh "I am! Thank you." He snickered, as he laid his head on Fili's shoulder.

Fili smiled at the tired dwarfling knowing his little brother now needed his rest "come on, we should get you into some dry clothes and then into bed"

But what came next startled the young prince,

"Goodbye Fee..." The brunet whispered, not moving from where he was.

Fili was startled at first but then figured it was just due to Kili being tired "what are you talking about you little troll, I am coming to bed with you."

Kili's voice was now frail and filled with the thick sound of pain "Goodbye Fili… I will tell Thorin that you said hi, father too..."

Fili's heart was racing in panic "Kili this is not funny!" his voice was as even toned as he could make it but still shaking. He tried to turn his head enough to see Kili's face without Kili's head fallingaway from Fili'sshoulder, what he saw caused a breath to catch in his throat.
Kili's skin was pale, his eyes black and blood was at the corner of his mouth.

"Kili! What happened to you! We were just… you were…" The room around them faded to black and it was as though they were pulled away from their warm hearth fire and thrown into a cold field that lacked of any color or warmth of any type, everything there was dead, even the grass.

Kili was pulled further in than Fili was. The golden haired prince stopped on a scorched piece of earth that once had grass, then Kili stopped about 20 feet past him.

Kili was livelier now, his color was back and he was no longer bleeding which relieved Fili but only for a moment.

He saw that Kili was trying to back away from an approaching orc. Kili was unarmed and as another orc joined, outnumbered.
Kili looked around, but it was as if he couldn't see his golden haired brother at all.

"Fili No! No! no, no, no it cannot be! He can't! No!" Kili yelled, obviously taken by a fear that traveled all the way to his very core as his begging continued, "Fili Please! Fili don't leave me! Don't leave me!"

"I'm here Kili!... Kili! I'm right here!" Fili yelled back and lunged toward his little brother, but no matter how much he ran he never got closer.

Then to the young prince's surprise all went black again and the orcs disappeared, and Fili was standing in front of his precious little brother.

Kili was attempting to back away from Fili, the brunette had a look of betrayal as he continued on with "Fili I need you! Please Fili please don't let this happen! Please don't do this to me! Please!"

Fili felt like his heart was gaining weight with each word, he tried to reach for his little brother but quickly learned he had no control over his body. "Kili… I'm here, don't worry its me" he tried to say but the words didn't leave his heart, he felt his body being controlled as he brought his axe up and he saw Kili cower more than he had before as the sounds of Kili's sobs seemed to fill the surroundings.

Fili felt panic, and his was heart breaking, what was happening? Then Kili stood and turned to run, right as Fili planted his axe into Kili's back by his right shoulder.

The blood started to flow from Kili's back like a river.

Fili too in shock to even breathe, reached out for his brother, tears in his eyes and a lump grew in his throat as darkness covered everything around him once more.

Fili then found himself alone in the cold battle field, it was even colder now than it had been before. Everything seemed colder now but the golden haired prince was too heartbroken to notice.

Kili was gone, now only the blood stained dead grass remained where he had laid. A constant reminder to of what he had done.

"Lad wake up! You can't go, not yet." he was confused by the words

'Where would I go?' He wondered as the voice continued "keep fighting lad!" he heard a familiar voice say, no not say… the voice was ordering.

It sounded distant and shaken but who's voice was it? He could tell the words were directed at him and not the Kili who he had just witnessed fade away. He wasn't sure how he knew, he just did.

He wondered why they were saying these things to him, had he not just committed the worst act of betrayal he could have?

'Did I not just kill my younger brother?' His thoughts wondered, they were sluggish and confused.

Then he recognized the voice when it called once more.

"Come on lad! I'm not gonna lose you like this! I am not gonna let them lose you!"

It was Dwalin barking orders through the haze and darkness that he just noticed was all around his surroundings, it was the haze that was limiting his sight past the brutal images that had passed before him.

Fili knew his time of hiding from the truth was over and he started trying to remember where he was before he was here.

He started racking his memory for even the slightest hint of what happened as darkness surrounded him.

Fili looked around the darkness as he started to feel colder than before. It was a blurred darkness that started to come to life before him as shades of gray worked its way into the blackness.

After a short while the light started to work its way into the darkness. It danced with the blurs as they started to take some type of form, but of what, he was unsure yet.

The next thing the young prince was aware of was a horrible pain that engulfed his whole body. He wasn't sure where one pain started and another ended but he knew one thing, the most pain was coming from his thigh, then like a strong wave from a cruel storm, it all came rushing back to him.

First with the warg attack on him, then it all reversed and started from the beginning.

Flashing before Fili's eyes was a rush of memories that he soon wished hadn't came back. He saw his uncle fall then he saw his younger brother fighting with everything he had only to fall in the end as well.

He saw arrow after arrow pierce his reason for living, his reason for fighting. He saw the war all over again as his memories raced back then time stood still on the last image that chose to assault his mind...It was the memory of Kili laying cold on the ground, his unconscious body laying in an awkward position with his arm outstretched where he had been reaching for his uncle's hand before he had fell into darkness.

Then all images faded away as the prince tried to force open his eyes but couldn't, he felt something warm dripping on his face but he couldn't place it.
He felt the same warm wetness wipe across his eyes with a slight pressure then when it pulled away Fili blinked as the world came back into focus.

"Thank Mahal you are alive!" a voice spoke now not so distant, and it took Fili a moment to figure out it was Dwalin who was talking to him

.
Dwalin placed a cool cloth to his bruised face this time and Fili jumped at the contact.

"Easy lad," Dwalin said softly, "The blood crusted your eyes shut, I'm trying to clean you up a bit."

Fili relaxed as he kept his eyes cast forward now noticing his bandaged body now.

"You had us all worried lad, we thought we lost you." Dwalin said, allowing a smile, trying to bring some comfort to the prince.

Fili wanted to respond but he couldn't find it in him, the images of Kili popping into mind every time he even thought of speaking.

Dwalin's smile faded as he pulled back from Fili's cleaning. He must have recognized the look in the golden haired prince's eye.

Fili kept his eyes on his legs but his mind was far from them, the images of Kili being stabbed, pierced, and wounded raced through his mind. He was afraid to ask knowing the answer to his question or so he thought.

Fili felt a hand clasp his shoulder and he jerked away from the touch as his eyes widened in fear then as he saw it was Dwalin he relaxed, now looking to his friend expectantly.

Dwalin must have been talking Fili realized when he asked,

"Fili did you hear me?" his hand on Fili's shoulder still.

Fili frowned and shook his head, not embarrassed.

Dwalin let out a breath too low to hear "I said I know what you are doing lad, and you can't... It will rip you apart inside and take those you care for with it"

Fili just turned his gaze back to his legs 'Those I cared most for, have already been taken..' he thought to himself

Dwalin's frown deepened as he released Fili and took the cloth from the cool water once more and brought it back to Fili's face, cleaning off the dried blood from face and neck working his way down to Fili's arms, avoiding where he was bandaged.

Fili just kept his eyes cast downward at his legs only his brother on his mind and the pain of losing him.

Once Fili was cleaned up, Dwalin returned the cloth to the now bloody water "I know you saw horrible things out there Fili... But trust me, it will all fade in time" he said, trying to comfort Fili, not knowing the full extent of what Fili was thinking.

As soon as he finished his words the tent flap was shoved open and a tall elf with long black hair stepped in "Master Dwalin, you are needed..."

Dwalin looked to the elf, narrowing his eyes "Can you not see I am..."

The elf allowed his eyes to take in Fili's image then returned its eyes to Dwalin "It is urgent" the elf interrupted then walked out closing the flap behind him, not caring to hear the answer.

Dwalin looked back to Fili who was still staring at nothing and sighed "I will be back soon lad, just rest"

The boy would be fine until he returned he told himself as he walked out after the elf.

Fili could not tell how much time had passed but judging by the natural day light fading away, he assumed it was half a day or so.

He had a lot of time to think and even more time to build his inner wall. Healers had come and gone through out the day but he paid them no mind as he stayed in his thoughts. Some tried to give him water but he kept his lips closed and ignored their existence so they left the water and carried on with their work.

Fili was snapped back to the present when he heard his name spoken by the tent entrance "Fili? Can I come in lad?"

Fili glanced over to the entrance to see Bofur, standing half way in, waiting with a concerned sympathetic smile.

Fili couldn't help but feel a warmth at seeing his old friend, Bofur had always been so kind to him and Kili and brought them comfort when they thought all was lost, after all it was Bofur who cared for Fili and comforted him after he was nearly beaten to death by the goblins a few months before.

Fili offered a very light smile "You needn't ask Bofur...You are always welcome." he said, before laying his head back, looking to the ceiling.

Bofur walked over and seeing the glass of water and food asked "Have you ate or drank anything since you awoke?"

Fili unable to block Bofur out, gave the lightest shake of his head no.

Bofur frowned for only a second before taking the glass in his own hands. "Fili, you need to drink, if you don't you can't get better" he said, placing his left hand on Fili's back helping him sit up and brought his right hand with the glass to Fili's lips "Please friend."

Fili turned his face away from the glass "I don't feel like it" he was giving up, though he would not tell his friend this. He was just waiting on the effects of the battle field and the lack of nourishment to take its toll.

Bofur's smile was sad but still there

"Please... your people need you, your friends need you... your family needs you... Drink" he tried again.

This time Fili accepted the water, not because he agreed with anything had Bofur said, to his knowledge the only family he had left was his mother but he was in no mood to protest his friends sincere gesture.

Once the water touched his lips he realized how dehydrated he really was. His lips soaked in the water, his lips cracked and dry then as he swallowed the cool water it felt like a small snowball sliding down his dry throat as he finished the glass off parched.

Bofur smiled as he sat the glass back down "see, not so bad" he said setting down on the stool next to him.

Fili had not noticed until Bofur went to sit that he was moving slower and stiffer then normal.

Bofur broke the silence "If the bread isn't to your liking..." he took off his hat reaching up to brush his sweaty mess of hair back unthinkingly revealing a huge gash on his forehead, he was about to put his hat back on when

Fili reached out grabbing his arm stopping it. "Bofur, your head..."

Bofur was startled at first then smiled "It is nothing, you needn't worry your self...as I was saying, I think the humans are cooking fish near by."

Fili released his arm. "At least promise me a healer will look at it before the night ends"

Bofur gave a nod. "If you promise me you will eat" he grinned

Fili shook his head, humored by Bofur's wit as always , even in a time like this he was able to lighten the mood. Fili gave a light nod.

Bofur was pleased to hear this. "Is there anything I can get you?"

Fili shook his head no, his mind drifting back to his brother.

They set in silence for several moments then Fili spoke "He... went through so much, because of me"

Bofur was slightly taken aback by this, he looked to Fili as if to ask what he was talking about, even though he could take a guess.

"Back in the blue mountains... with those orcs and the ice... Then in Goblin town, he has went through so much pain and suffering because of me... a torture that was meant for me, his screams still haunt my dreams... then after we escaped the elves, If I had acted that arrow would have been mine not his... Uncle would not have left him behind...he has suffered so much mental and physical abuse in the last few months... " Fili's voice was breaking with each word "...only to die alone, afraid, and in... in" he leaned forward despite his pain, placing his face in his hands and began to sob', the emotional wall crumbling down before his friend.

Bofur stood, wrapping his arms around the prince.

Fili's sobs thickened "he was in so much pain... he had reached for Thorin and... and..."

Fili could feel Bofur's warm embrace, it was comforting but it did not ease his broken heart. He heard his friend's broken voice, nearly as broken as his own.

"Don't do this to yourself Fili, please...you speak as if, he is already dead...have some faith in him, Kili is strong... He is a Durin..."

'Kili, is alive?...' Fili went still at Bofurs news, his sobbing went silent, and his shoulders stopped trembling with his unsteady breath "K...Kee is alive?" he finally asked, a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

Once again I want to Thank my friends acciojd & MercedesAsheSorrel for helping me with this story/chapter. They are amazing and idk what I would do with out these girls^^. Also if you want to check out another good Fic you should check them both out because they have some amazing fictions=). I am open for Suggestions, Ideals, Improvement =) so dont be afraid to comment. Also I appreciate and love each and every one of my readers, followers, reviewers and favoriters. Each and everyone really makes my day and motivates me to write more so please don't hold back=) and to my Guest reviewer I Love you! =) even with out an account you still review and it makes me happy^^ please make an account so I can thank you! lol. please let me know what you thought=) Thank you ~Rem