Chapter Twenty-Three

Same Love

At night when Light drifted in and out of his self-deprecating consciousness reality and dreams intertwined.

The room both he and L made his own personal prison was an anchor of reality, but at times his mind was so greatly blurred he barely remembered that was where he really was.

The room may have been like a prison, but his mind was the real prison. The poison within it he could not escape.

Light stared into the kitchen from the hallway, already feeling his stomach turning at the sight of his father's blood spreading across the floor.

His mother stood over him, watching the blood of her husband drip off her knife, the way it streamed slowly down the stainless steel, polished so cleanly it reflected the room around it, then form a ruby drop that grew and grew until it became too heavy and dropped to the floor beneath it.

A shudder went up his spine.

In front of him a younger version of himself stared up at his mother and was feeling the same things his older counterpart felt. His life was about to change for the worst. He was losing everything he loved and knew, and anything else he would ever come to care about would be lost and warped beyond all recognition.

He wanted to embrace his younger self and shield him from all that was happening, but it was too late for him.

Light stepped around himself, brushing his younger self's hair as he passed. His younger self glanced at him briefly before returning to the body of their father.

His mother, however, looked up from her knife and smiled when she saw him.

"My my, how you have grown, my Light." Her voice was calm and cheerful, as if the horrors around her did not exist.

Light said nothing.

"I wish I was there to see you grow into the fine man you are today. Your father would be so proud," His mother smiled, "So tall and handsome."

Light stiffened up and clenched his jaw. "You would have been there, if you really wanted. You know exactly why you were not there."

"And smart, too. Oh so clever. Any mother would be proud of a son like you."

"I have no mother."

"Then what am I, my child? Who cared for you when you were sick? Put bandaids on your scrapes and bruises when you fell? Read a book to you each night when your father worked late, then tucked you in and kissed your forehead. Made you home cooked meals breakfast, lunch, and dinner, just the way you liked them."

"Stop it."

"I gave birth to you. Held you as a newborn. Loved you. Changed your diapers and watched your first steps. Looked after you, on my own, when your father was away. And how do you repay me?" Her cheery tone grew dark.

"I did nothing."

"You stole him from me. Monopolized his time. Took his love from me. Love I rightfully earned. Love I deserved."

"You killed him! You killed my father! You never really loved him!" Light cried out upset. His younger self backed away and took off running down the hall towards the front door.

"DO NOT TELL ME I NEVER LOVED HIM! I loved him so deeply I couldn't stand the thought of him not loving me as much as I loved him. It hurt. I couldn't let him go any longer, not loving me back. You would not understand. You do not know what it means to love. You do not understand love, my sweet child. But I loved you then, and I love you still now, despite what you did."

"If you loved me so much, like you did father, then why not kill me like you did him?"

"What kind of mother would I be if I killed my son?'

Light thought of everything he had been through. If he died back then, Shiori would never have died. He would never have driven Mikami insane. And Ryuzaki... They would never have met. It probably would have never been all for the better.

"A kind one." Was Light's honest answer.

His mother laughed. "I know you are a killer, too. You never killed them with your own hands, no, but you killed them just the same."

Light clenched his fists and shook his head. "No... I didn't mean to..."

"Oh Light, you are just the same as me."

"NO!" Light screamed. He was nothing like her! He hated her! She killed his father! She started everything!

Unsure of how it happened, a knife appeared in his hand and he somehow ended up right in front of his mother, looking down at her. A rage roared inside him, so strong that he felt his whole body shake, but his grip stayed firm. As if on its own, his knife moved forward and drove itself in. Blood, so dark it looked black, blossomed out and stained her already bloody shirt.

She let out a gasp.

The heat of rage dissipated and Light stepped back, leaving the knife in her chest. She reached for it and tried to pull it out, but her hand refused to close around the handle. She slumped forward and started coughing and gasping.

Between coughs she managed to say "You are... just... like me."

She locked eyes with him before finally falling to the floor, landing next to her husband.

When the life left her eyes Light felt a hollow feeling grow in his chest. The feeling grew, until the emptiness became painful. Light reached for his chest and found his own knife sticking out of it, lodged between his ribs and piercing his lung.

Breathing became impossible and Light gasped, choking on his own blood, before collapsing.

Hi.

I'd like to say that yes, I am a liar with false promises. I did not update this story anywhere near as soon as I said I would, and I know no excuse will be sufficient for you, my readers, because hey! You are strangers on the internet reading the words written by another stranger on the internet.

The only promise I will keep no matter what, and you can count on me for this and this alone, I will finish this story. I love every review I have ever received and every new follow and favorite just makes me feel even more like I need to finish this for you guys. So I will.

And as time goes by between updates I am living my life, learning and suffering the same as anyone else and for that I hope that it matures my last chapters... Love is a tricky bitch.

Keep it up, readers. Read on.

And a tip out there to all my readers, pay your exorcists. If you don't, you will get repossessed.