even though she didn't need to Ankou13 beta-ed this chapter for me. a round of applause for her please!
disclaimer- please don't sue me.
a/n- WAO. SO MUCH FOLLOWERS AND FAVORITES AND I'VE ONLY POSTED THE PROLOGUE. WAO. THANK YOU. I LUB YOU. HERE'S A FABULOUS EMOJI CAT FOR YOU (ㅇㅅㅇ❀) meow
a/n- this chapter frustrated me so much and it is shorter than usual. if it's not up to your standards then I do apologize.
p.s i think i turned this story into crack.
NOW ONTO THY STORY!
one
Heaven Presents; special delivery service!
The day was dark; a gloomy Monday morning. Buildings lost their usual vibrancy to the gloomy weather and cold raindrops were dripping from frosted windows. Shady clouds crowded the sky and the sun has made no attempt to rise.
The brunet hugged himself as he shivered and groaned at the squelchy noises coming from his stomach.
This day won't be the worst, he thought sullenly, but it won't be the best.
He sneezed loudly before sniffling into a crumpled tissue. He then flung the bedcover over his head and gave a weak groan. "Okaaaa-san. I'm sick. Help me get better. Pleeeease."
The sick teenager stilled for half a minute, futilely hoping that his mother had miraculously heard his muffled pleas from three bedrooms away, before curling up to his side in petulant defeat. She's still not awake…I hope she gets up soon…
Tawny eyes flickered to the alarm clock. 5:00 am, it read. His eyes blurred at the sight of the red, angry numbers that shouted at him to sleep as much as he could before his morning started. The queasy squelch from his stomach suggested something else.
"Mama…" He croaked for the last time. He really couldn't take this anymore. Throwing the covers off and wobbling out of bed, he bravely stood on his two feet and took a step forward-
And tripped.
On the blanket.
Smacking his face.
On the floor.
Painfully.
It was a blatant sign from God that his day is going to start off wonderfully.
Heaven Presents; special delivery service!
"No. I refuse your offer, God." R bit his tongue as soon as he felt cool blue eyes pierce a pair of tiny holes through his soul.
"It's Luce, not God. God is a title, not my name." Luce huffed as she crossed her arms underneath her breasts, before wandering down to caress the slow growing baby bump. The sparkle in her eyes grew as she lightly swayed her hips to the side and her arms tightened protectively around her un-born child. "I just can't wait, you know! She's due soon and I can't help but feel so-"
"Luce," R snapped irritated. His narrowed eyes were as sharp as flint. Luce shifted uncomfortably as she felt his piercing gaze zero in on her. "Stop dodging the question and tell me why you're doing this."
Luce sighed and suddenly dropped the facade. R was just too suspicious for his own good, she thought exasperatedly. Sitting down on a swivel chair, she placed both hands on her womb and regarded him with a strained stare. "It pains me to say this but it's because…" She trailed off, her mind abruptly drawing blank.
"Because…?" He prompted.
"It's because… you have no… uhh… how should I put this…?"
R frowned and impatiently tapped his foot. "Just spit it out Luce. I have no what?"
"You have no… love! Yes, that's it! That's the word I was looking for!" Luce faked a laugh, playing along with the first thought that popped into mind. "When you pair people together, there's no passion behind it! You must handle love with love! It's an emotion you must not toy with R! It's something that should be passionately kindled and embraced, a-and that won't happen if I don't send you down to the Blue Planet with the humans!"
Which he'll conveniently find himself stuck for the next two years, she added slyly.
The raven-tressed man crossed his arms and scowled. "Why are you pulling a Bianchi on me now? And more importantly, why are you saying this all of a sudden? And not to mention right after I broke the pairing record." He observed his squirming boss with suspicion. "Unless you're doing this to get rid of me…" he trailed off threateningly.
God laughed light heartedly and fanned her hand as if to shoo the ridiculous assumption away (while in actuality, she was on the verge of pressing the red button strategically placed underneath the surface of her work bench. That particular idea had been extracted after a three week marathon of watching the complete set of The Simpsons; movies and all.) "Why R, I'm just looking out for your best interests! Can't have my favourite Hitman Cupid failing on me now, can I?" She fluttered her eyelashes innocently.
R stared at God uncertainly. "Well, I guess-"
"-that settles it then!" She chirped and shot up from her seat, a slender finger pressed on the cleverly hidden red button. The ground beneath R's feet disappeared and God's so-called favourite Hitman Cupid found himself screaming his boss' name as he fell into the dark abyss.
God propped her hand against her ear as she leant over her desk, waiting anxiously for the tell-tale sound that her precious angel had landed safely to the pre-determined destination.
"Ah, fuck!"
Followed by…
"HIIEEE! HENTAI!"
God smugly set herself back down on her swivel chair and retracted her finger from the button, watching the hole that swallowed "The Number One Hitman Cupid" shrink in mild fascination. God then proceeded to pull out a MacBook Pro from a drawer and magically summoned a glass of Sugar Honey Iced Tea with a wave of a hand.
After a few minutes of tapping away on the keyboard, the Windows Media Player popped up on the screen and was enlarged. With a clap of her hands, the light turned dim, a bag of freshly microwaved popcorn was in her hands, a dune of cushions and bean bags replaced the chair, 3D glasses were placed on her face, the wall turned into a movie screen, and the desk had mysteriously vanished along with the MacBook Pro.
Oh yeah, being God is hella rad.
"Wh-Why is there a man in my room?!" The screen zoomed in on a hysterical brunet tangled in the bed sheets and squealing, with R attempting to pull him under to shut the kid up and possibly knock him out cold.
Luce cackled evilly and steepled her fingers together.
"Excellent."