Authors Note: Hey sorry with the delay. My poor Beta is sick while also dealing with well life. I've been a little ill to and I know reading fanfic while lounging in bed helps a lot. So I decided to upload an extra-long chapter for you however my Beta hasn't been over it yet. So I apologize for any mistakes and will upload the edited chapter once she is feeling better.

Thanks for sticking with it

Previously On Storm Clouds

"I am glad you like them. I can show you how to make them tomorrow morning if you like."

Alexis frowned. "But isn't it your mothers recipe."

Beckett nodded. "Yeah but it's no big secret."

"It doesn't hurt to talk about your Mom, share things about her."

Beckett sighed. It was clear the young woman was in a lot of pain.

"It makes me sad that she isn't here but I know my mom would want me to be happy. Sharing her recipe with you would make me happy. I am passing on her legacy and memories of her to someone else."

Alexis seemed to think about it for a moment before nodding and then adding some eggs to her plate.

Beckett had just pulled a t shirt over her head when she heard a knock at the door. She combed a hand through her wet locks and picked her towel up from the bed.

"Come in," she called out as she walked towards the door.

The door opened just as she got there. Alexis was standing there looking rather timid.

"Hi," Beckett offered when the young woman said nothing.

"Hi. I am not bothering you?"

Beckett shook her head. "No. Of course not. Would you like to come in?"

Alexis nodded and took a few steps in. Once Alexis started eating at breakfast she hadn't said much at all. The amount of food on her plate wasn't huge but Castle seemed to be happy. Once they had finished Castle had offered to do the dishes so Beckett had gone back upstairs to shower. She had changed into shorts and t shirts not sure on what the plans were for the rest of the day.

"Is there something you wanted?" Beckett asked hoping she wasn't being to insistent.

"Are you sleeping with my dad?"

Beckett stared at Alexis in shock. Huh. What. Was she serious?

"What?"

"Are you sleeping with my dad? You're here and he seems happier. I was wondering if you were sleeping with him."

Beckett shook her head stunned. She was a homicide detective. She had seen the worst of what humans could do to each other. Yet she had never been so shocked. "No. I'm not."

Alexis narrowed her eyes. "Then why are you here?"

Beckett bit her lip. "I told you. I wouldn't accept a gift but a few days at the beach seemed like a nice way to spend my time off."

Alexis crossed her arms over her chest showing the first bit of assurance Beckett had seen from the young woman. "I am not buying it."

Beckett sighed. Castle hadn't wanted his daughter to know the reason she was there. He didn't want her to know he was worried. If he knew that his daughter thought they were sleeping together she was sure he would change his mind.

"I am here for you."

"Me."

Beckett nodded. "Your father is concerned."

"But you're a cop not a therapist."

"I know. I tried to tell him that but he thought I could help anyway." Beckett was now regretting being here. What did she know about recovering from a tragic event anyway? It had taken her years and she still had deep emotional scars.

"Are you getting paid?"

Beckett raised her brows. Was she getting paid? Is this the kind of treatment the young girl had received over the years? That the only reason someone would want to help is because they were being paid. Beckett shook her head.

"No I am not being paid. I came because I wanted to help you if I could. I didn't handle my mother's death well and I'd hate for someone to go through the same thing I did. I felt like I had no one who cared what I was going through. If you want me to leave them I am gone. Your dad was just worried about you he was just trying to help. "

"I am fine."

Beckett nodded. "Okay. You're fine. Your dad probably just overreacted. Dads tend to do that. I think it's in the handbook or something. I'll go."

Beckett walked over to where her bag was. She always packed light and could be ready to go in minutes. It might be awhile before Castle was able to get a car to pick her up but she could wait downstairs or outside.

"So you're just going to leave." Alexis accused.

Beckett shrugged. "If you don't want me here then I see no reason to stay. This is your home and I am just a guest. You came here for a reason and I don't want to intrude on that."

"I didn't say I didn't want you here, I just said I was fine."

Beckett smiled, she was making progress. She let the smile slip from her face before turning around to face Alexis.

"So I can stay?"

Alexis shrugged. "If you want to. It's nice here. You mentioned at breakfast that you had a few days off. Were you planning on taking the time off already?"

"No but I wasn't lying when I said it had been ages since I took a break. I had today off but I asked for tomorrow morning off so I could stay here for at least 24 hours. My boss offered me the extra days. Well it wasn't so much as an offer more of an order. I can be a bit of a workaholic"

"So you took leave for me?"

Beckett shrugged then nodded. She had. It was as if it had just dawned on her. She never took time off work and when she had it was for someone else. Alexis frowned and seemed to be thinking things over. She then turned and walked towards the door.

"Kate. There is a real nice area out by the pool. There are chairs in the shade and it's a nice place to read. You should grab a book and spend your time off relaxing."

Beckett smiled. "Thanks Alexis."

Beckett readjusted her sunglasses before reaching for her bottle of water. She had been sitting out by the pool for well over an hour reading and couldn't remember the last time she had done that. Normally she read before going to bed, no matter how tired she was. She used to read in the bath tub but had dropped and destroyed one too many books that way. The last time she tried to sit outside in the sun and read she had been in Central park. Not even one page in and gun shots exploded throughout the park. Day off or not she was a cop and had given chase to the suspect.

Now sitting out here in the sun reading and not being disturbed made her feel guilty. The luxury had come because someone had died. Unfortunately life went on. It was something one of her many therapist had told her. You couldn't dwell on it you just had to move on. It had taken her a long time to accept but she had, to a certain degree. It was the same now. Beckett had done all she could for Meredith now it was time to help Meredith's daughter. Beckett had taken Alexis advice and grabbed a book and headed out to the pool. She hadn't grabbed a Richard Castle novel. Nope that was hidden in a drawer under her underwear, for her to read in bed at night. She was reading Jill Shalvis. A romance author whose characters were witty, real and most importantly knew the importance of indulging on wine, chocolate and life. Sometimes she really did need something light and fluffy.

She was about to return to her book when she spotted movement just out of her peripheral vision. Even though she wasn't reading a single word on the page Beckett kept her eyes glued to the book in front of her. Alexis flopped down on the pool chair next to her. Beckett glanced to her right to acknowledge her then returned to her book hoping the young woman would make the first step.

"Sorry for insinuating you were sleeping with my dad."

Beckett still kept her eyes glued to the page not that Alexis could see her eyes behind her sunglasses.

"No problem. You wake up and find a woman in the kitchen you are bound to jump to conclusions."

"Don't believe everything you see in the media Detective. Dad goes to a lot of events with different woman but he isn't the playboy he's made out to be. He dates but he hasn't brought many of them home to meet me. Never brings any of them here that's for sure."

Beckett took in this information. It was quite surprising for it to come from the author's daughter. If she were here for any other reason she would think she was being set up.

"You know for someone who isn't meant to be talking much you certainly doing a lot of it." Beckett turned to look at Alexis and realised she should have kept her mouth shut. The young girl immediately seemed to shirk back into herself.

"Is that what dad told you? That I am not talking."

Beckett nodded.

"What am I supposed to say? Hey dad Mom died, I think the weather is going to be great today."

Beckett sighed. She noticed the tone in Alexis' voice. The young woman was defensive and that was definitely something she could relate to. Beckett closed her book and spun around on her chair to face Alexis.

"No but you can say. Dad, Mom's death has really shaken me. I am just not feeling myself at the moment and I don't know how to deal with it."

Alexis bit her lip. "How do you deal with it?"

"How do I deal with it? Or how does one deal with it."

Alexis shrugged. "Both."

"Honestly you just take it one day at a time. Some days will be easy some will be hard. Cliché I know but that's what one of my therapists told me."

"Therapist," Alexis scoffed. "How does your mother's death make you feel," she mocked. "How do you think it makes me feel moron." Alexis shook her head and then flopped back down on the chair and crossed her arms. Her eyes widened and she sat up. "I wasn't referring to you."

Beckett laughed. "I know and I've had more than a few therapist bug me to. Moron is being polite compared to some of the names I've called them. In my head and out loud. They asked the most stupid questions at least some of them do. I've been lucky to find a real good one that I see at the moment."

"You still see someone?" there was a hint of surprise in her voice.

Beckett nodded."Yeah. Kind of like a booster shot. I go once a month, tell her about what's been happening. Sometimes I don't even talk about my mother. The last time I went I talked about you."

Alexis' brows rose. "Me."

"Yeah. My appointment was a few days after your mother's case and I was so glad I kept it. With my hours I sometimes have to reschedule and it can be weeks before I can get another one. As soon as I walked in I started talking about you and your mother. I didn't tell her any specific details or names or anything. I just told her there was a case that brought up a lot of issues and feelings. In the past dealing with a young woman whose mother has been killed would have shaken me to the core. I would have totally lost it as soon as I had a chance to breath. Yet I didn't this time. My focus was on finding the truth and freeing your father. On making sure you had the care and attention you needed to deal with it all. It was a good day in the sense that I kept it together and that really surprised me." Beckett hung her head down and took a few deep breaths. She never really spoke to anyone about this kind of thing, except for her therapist.

"But you have had worse? Worse days?" Alexis asked leaning forward trying to get in the detectives vision

Beckett nodded before raising her head and offering Alexis a weak smile. "Oh yeah." Beckett blew out a breath of air. "The anniversary of her death, her birthday even Christmas can be hard. Like I said you just push through it. Sometimes I distract myself. I make sure I work over Christmas; I invite my friend Lanie over for a girl's night. Then there are times when I lock myself in my apartment and just let myself cry it out."

"You cry?"

"Yeah." She shook her head and rolled her eyes admitting to it. "Oh yeah, full on ugly crying. Sometimes it's cathartic and it's the relief I need. Other times I can act irrationally."

Alexis frowned and began ringing her hands. "What do you mean irrationally?"

"I throw things. Kick things. I broke my favourite octopus hair clip because it was holding my hair in a tight bun and I needed to be free. I ripped it from my hair and threw it against the wall. It shattered." Beckett winced. Did she really want to admit how at times she lost control? She looked at Alexis who seemed to be taking it all in. Maybe this was exactly what the young woman needed. To hear about someone else's experience. "Sometimes I get angry and just feel like punching something. So I'll go to the gym and wail on a bag or an unsuspecting police officer at the precinct. I just feel like I need to get it out no matter how irrational it seems."

"I don't think it's irrational. In fact it's what I feel like doing a lot."

Beckett stood up. "Okay let's do it." Beckett walked around the pool and grabbed some foam boards that were obviously used as floatation devices. "Do you have any string, twine, something to tie these to me?"

"You can't be serious?"

Beckett shrugged. "Why not? You have anger and aggression and you need to get it out. I'd rather you wail on me than ruin a perfectly good hair clip. It was purple and I can only find them in black now. I think i saw some string in the kitchen drawer when I was cooking this morning."

"You are serious?" Alexis asked incredulously.

Beckett took the foam boards over to Alexis and dropped them on the chairs. "We can sit here all day and talk or we can actually do something. You're angry about what happened and you have every right to be. Why let that anger go to waste. Holding your feelings in wont help, believe me I know. It will just sit inside of you and fester and come out at the most inappropriate time. "

Alexis looked at the boards and then back up at her than walked off. Beckett didn't follow her. Sometimes when people walked away you needed to let them go. Alexis didn't seem like the type to walk off as a ploy to see if the person would follow. Beckett made the right decision as Alexis came walking back outside with strings and scissors in her hands. Placing a foam board against her leg Beckett grabbed the string and wrapped it around her leg a few times before tying a knot and cutting the ends. She did the same with the other leg then shook both her legs to make sure they stayed in place. They were a little floppy and the string bit into her legs slightly but it would do for now. If Alexis got some benefit out of it she could go to a sport store and buy some better equipment.

"I don't know if I can kick you Detective."

"Call me Kate or Beckett and you won't be kicking me."

"I won't?" Alexis asked confused looking down at the ford boards on the detectives legs.

Beckett shook her head. "Nope. I didn't do anything wrong. Now you can either think I am the guy who killed your mother or you can just simply vent. Kick the boards not me." Beckett held up two foam boards over her chest for extra padding. "Okay now get the anger out."

Alexis looked at her warily.

"You said you were angry," Beckett was trying to rile the girl up slightly. "Get that anger out."

Alexis took a step forward and gingerly punched the foam board over Beckett's chest. Beckett raised a brow at the punch that didn't even need a foam protection.

"Is that all you got?" the foam boards weren't to hard and shouldn't do any damage to the girls hands.

Alexis punched her again, this time a little harder.

Beckett nodded. "Okay now how about a kick."

Alexis awkwardly lifted her leg and slightly slapped the board on Beckett's leg. She then did it again this time a little harder. A slight smile appeared on her face and Alexis kicked a third time even harder.

Beckett smiled and nodded. "That's good. Now try yelling out some things while punching and kicking."

Alexis frowned. "Like what?"

Beckett shrugged. "Anything. Random words. Things you hate. What you are feeling inside. One word per jab. It's another way of relieving your anger. You need to get it all out otherwise it will eat you from within. Hit as hard as you can and yell as loud as you want. There are no houses close by only the seagulls will hear you, and well me. Pretend you are Rocky Balboa or that chick from Million Dollar Baby."

Alexis narrowed her eyes but Beckett just shrugged at her.

"Come on. It's just you and me; there is no need to be embarrassed."

Alexis nodded. "Okay." She rose up on her toes and started bouncing from one leg to the other. Shaking her arms for a few seconds she then brought her hands up. One was covering her face the other her chest. Alexis started making a jab or two staying in her boxing character.

"Okay now yell."

"Worms," Alexis yelled as she punched Becket in the chest.

Beckett took a step back and laughed. "What?"

Alexis stopped dancing around and lowered her hands. "I hate worms. Worms, snakes, any kind of wiggly insect. Spiders I can handle which is good because Dad screams like a girl when he sees them."

Beckett nodded. Okay everyone had their own unnatural fears and no matter how ridiculous it seemed to others it was terrifying for that person. Beckett had a cousin who was afraid of chickens. The live ones not the frozen ones in the supermarket.

"Okay worms it is. Worms!" she yelled as she took a step towards Alexis.

"Worms," Alexis yelled loudly as she punched Beckett in the chest again. "Worms, snakes, sticks."

"Sticks?" Beckett questioned.

"They look like snakes," Alexis told her before kicking Beckett on the leg.

"Alexis what are you doing?" Castle yelled as he ran over towards them.

Beckett and Alexis turned to look at the man running over to them. Beckett noticed his gaze drifted down to her legs. He stopped running instead slowly made his way over to her curiously.

"Beckett. What are you doing?"

Beckett looked over to Alexis who had stepped back and was looking down. She had shrunk back into herself again. Alexis wasn't offering up and explanation so it was up to Beckett to respond.

"Umm Alexis was asking me about what kind of training I had to do to become a cop. The physical side of things. I sometimes have to take on people bigger than you Castle so I offered to show Alexis some fighting and self-defensive moves. I hope that's okay."

Castle looked at her then looked at his daughter. "Yeah of course. Maybe she can use it on a boy if he tries to get too hands on."

"Dad," Alexis whined looking up at him embarrassed.

Castle chuckled. "I don't mind you teaching her some moves. Maybe you could teach me some too."

Beckett smirked at him. "To use it on men if they get to handsy with you?"

Castle's smile dropped causing Beckett to frown. She then looked over at Alexis who was trying to hold back a smile. Beckett's eyes widened.

"You mean a man tried to man handle you Castle."

The man before her notably gulped. "Yeah. Apparently I have quite a large gay following. I was told I have a nice bread basket."

Beckett bit her lip trying not to laugh. She just simply nodded in understanding.

"Anyway I am sorry I was held up for a bit. I had to take a call from Gina. She is my ex wife and publisher."

Beckett nodded. "I know."

He quirked a brow at her.

"It was in your file," she told him hoping her nose wasn't growing with her lie.

"Oh okay. Anyway it took so long because she was hassling me about wanting pages for my new book. I told her she wouldn't like what I had written but she insisted I send it anyway. Do you know a good lawyer? For some reason mine retired after recent events and possibly a few other things I have done over the years. I might need a lawyer once Gina finds out I sent her 100 pages of question marks."

Beckett wasn't sure how to react to that news. She did think it was quite funny that he had sent his obviously insensitive publisher 100 pages of nothing. However if he sent her nothing it meant that he had nothing.

"Well my Dad is a lawyer."

"Really?"

Beckett nodded and grimaced when she realised she was supposed to call him back about a week ago and never got around to it. They exchanged emails and text messages but that didn't compare to hearing the voice of a loved one. She would call him later; she actually had to talk to him about something.

"Yeah. My mother was too."

Castle nodded. "Smart family. Well looks like I might need the services of another Beckett to get me out of trouble."

Beckett smiled. She doubted he would actually need the services of a lawyer but she would mention it to her father when she called him. He normally didn't deal with that sort of thing but a big name client would be good for him. When he had started drinking his firm had kept him on for as long as they could. When he had turned up to court drunk they had no choice but to dismiss him. Beckett cringed remembering the six months where he had stayed at home and did nothing. Then one night he had gone out to go and buy more alcohol. He had slept all day and his blood alcohol level was well below legal limit. Unfortunately the same couldn't be said for the man who ran a red light and slammed into her father's car. When she had run into his room at the hospital tears running down her cheeks, he had started to cry also. Her father apologized and asked her to look into rehab facilities for him. Going to buy more alcohol had almost killed him, yet he could have killed someone if he had been drinking and driving. Another family could have lost a love one. After he sobered up he started looking for work but his reputation as a drunk was against him. He free-lanced for a while and then went to work at a friend's firm. It was an okay place to work but hadn't been happy there. He had only been at his current firm for a year and a half but still felt like he was on probation.

"Beckett,"

Beckett shook her head.

"I am sorry what?"

"If you would prefer that I don't call your father that's fine. I don't exactly have to best reputation. Gina probably won't sue just yell a lot."

"It's fine Castle. I'll give you his number just in case you need it."

Castle nodded. "Okay thanks. Anyway I am going to the store. I know you came up here at the last minute, did you need anything?"

Beckett shook her head. "No I have everything I need."

"Okay. Well I need to go and get some more groceries any requests?"

Normally she ate out of Styrofoam containers. It was actually cheaper that way. If she bought groceries she usually ended up throwing them out before she ate them. When she did have time off she tried to eat as healthy as possible. Even when eating junk she tried to choose healthier options or picked foods that contained high energy ingredients.

"Actually I am a picky eater and I wouldn't mind cooking a meal or two for the both of you while I am here."

"Oh. Well you're more than welcome to come with me. I was coming out here to see if either of you want to come too."

Beckett looked over at Alexis who shook her head so Beckett did the same. She was just starting to make progress with Alexis and she wanted to stick with it.

"No," Beckett told him as she walked over awkwardly with the foam boards on her legs. "But if you give me a pen and paper I can write a list."

Castle pulled out a pen and notebook out of his pocket. Beckett looked at him warily. Why did he have that on him? It also squelched her plan to speak to the author.

"It's a habit as a writer. I always carry a pen and paper even though I can just whip out my phone and send myself an email."

Beckett took the pen and paper from him and quickly wrote out a list. She included fruits and vegetables he probably already had in his home as well as some snack foods. Handing back the paper she winked at Castle. He smiled at her and she could tell he seemed a little confused by her wink.

"Well if neither of you are coming and are fine here I might make a few stops on the way there. Check in with a few friends. I was thinking a light lunch when I get back. I don't know about everyone else but I am a bit full from breakfast."

Beckett agreed. She was no way near hungry but she would stuff her face full of food for Alexis benefit.

"A chicken salad or a whole wheat wrap would be good." Beckett turned to look at Alexis. "That okay with you Alexis."

Alexis shrugged. "Yeah whatever."

Beckett's heart clenched when she saw sadness in Castles eyes. Even the slightest difference in Alexis tone and the writer was a wreck. Beckett had to get Castle away from Alexis and Alexis needed time to grieve.

"Okay Castle we will be fine until you get back."

The author took the hint and left the two of them by the pool. Beckett turned back to Alexis and saw the teen frowning at her.

"Why didn't you tell dad what we were really doing?"

Beckett shrugged. "You didn't seem to want him to know."

"But isn't that why you are here?"

Why was she here? She still wasn't sure herself. All she knew was this girl needed help and she knew how hard it was for people to accept it. "I am here to spend time with a friend. I was hoping to relax and maybe help them relax to. Beating the crap out of something helps me relax. So are you ready for some more."

Beckett held the foam board back in front of her chest. She waited for a few seconds while Alexis seemed to be weighing up her options. Alexis then dealt an unexpected kick to Beckett's legs.

"Worms," Alexis yelled as she kicked again,

Beckett smiled and held up the foam board over her chest.

"Worms, snakes, sticks, death." Alexis yelled as punched Beckett in the chest over and over again.

Beckett tried not to wince when she heard the word death.

"Blood. Death. Still. Dead." Alexis accompanied each word with a punch.

Beckett gulped. This was what she was after but now that it was here she was starting to dread it.

"Dead." Alexis dealt a punch that could have toppled a much bigger person.

Beckett stood her ground waiting for the dam to be unleashed.

"Why? Why did she have to die?"

Alexis then kicked out but didn't aim for Beckett's legs she aimed for the chest. Although Beckett had been expecting powerful punches once Alexis got going the kick had been unexpected. She stumbled back and fell onto her chair.

"Kate," Alexis screamed.

Beckett struggled into a seated position as Alexis rushed over to her.

"I am sorry. So sorry." Alexis muttered.

"Alexis it's okay."

"I'm sorry," this time it came out as a sob.

Beckett threw the foam board down and pulled Alexis into her arms.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Beckett held onto Alexis and tried to sooth her as she cried.

"It's okay. Alexis it will be okay."

"How can it be okay?" she wailed as she gripped onto Beckett tighter. "My mom is dead. She died while she was visiting me."

Beckett's lip began to tremble. She had gone through the same thing. Survivors gilt. If she hadn't gone away to school then they wouldn't have been going out to dinner. She ran a thousand different possible situations through her head. All of her theories had holes in them bigger than New York City. Yet when she was grieving they were all very possible reason why it was her fault.

"This is not your fault Alexis. Her ex-boyfriend is the only one to blame for her death. Not you. Do you hear me? Your mother was in New York because she loved you and wanted to spend time with you." Anger started to sweep through her. "Don't you dare ever blame yourself for it?" she practically yelled. "It's not your fault."

"Why did she have to die?" Alexis wailed. "She was just starting to be a real mother. I want her back."

Beckett held onto Alexis tight. It was all she could to stop herself from falling apart. Holding Alexis didn't stop the tears from falling from her own eyes.

"I know. I want my Mom back too."

"I didn't get enough time with her."

Beckett continued to running a soothing hand down Alexis back.

"I know."

"Who is going to help me on my wedding day? Who will be there for me when I have a baby? She is supposed to be there, she can't be dead. It isn't possible."

Beckett pulled out of the hug and grabbed Alexis' arms. "Alexis your mother is gone and I know that is hard. I've said and thought exactly the same thing you are telling me. She is gone though. Please tell me you understand that."

Alexis nodded as she tried to sniff back tears. "I know she is dead but..."

"Not buts Alexis. I am not asking you to accept your mother's death it's probably something you will never accept. What you need to do is find a way to move on from it. Your mother won't be there at your wedding. My mother won't be on my wedding day either. I am not sure what your religious beliefs are but I'd like to think that my mother will be watching me from heaven on that day. I pray that my Dad will be there for me as well as my friends and family who love me. It will be the same if I ever have children."

Alexis shrugged herself out Beckett's grip. "So what am I supposed to do just forget about her and go about my day?"

Beckett shook her head. "No. Never forget your mother; she is an important part for your life."

"Was," Alexis challenged.

"Still is. She will be with you always. What you have to remember is that you have a lot of people around you who love and care for you. While you are grieving the loss of your mother they are grieving for the loss of you."

"But I am here."

Beckett shook her head. "Are you? Are you really? From what your father is telling me you are the shell of the person you were."

Alexis opened her mouth to protest but Beckett held up her hand to stop her.

"It's okay I am not accusing you of doing anything wrong. You just need to be aware of what's going around you while you're grieving. He just wants to know that you are okay. He is worried. You need to remember he is grieving too."

Alexis shook her head. "They have been divorced for years."

"That may be so but he loved her at some point and probably always will. She helped him create you and he loves you very much. He is grieving for you too"

Alexis' shoulders slumped. "I guess."

"I don't think your father expects you to be out chasing butterflies. He just needs to know that you will eventually be okay. I think your father isn't used to you not being open with him. I know it was hard for him to ask me for help but he did it for you. He doesn't know how he can help you and I think that is making it even worse for him."

Alexis bit her lip. "I didn't mean to make my dad worry."

Beckett leaned forward. "He is your Dad he will worry about you always."

"I told him I was fine."

"Freaked out. Insecure. Neurotic. Emotional. Yeah I said I was fine too."

"You have seen The Italian Job?" Alexis asked surprised.

Beckett nodded. "Yeah it's a great movie."

Alexis let a small smile grace her lips "We have it here on our hard drive. Maybe we could watch it tonight?"

"Good idea. Sounds like fun."

At the mention of the word fun Alexis face turned sad once again.

"Hey. It's okay to have fun," Beckett told her.

"How can I have fun when my mother is dead?"

For over a year Beckett had refused to have fun too. Smile, laugh experience any form of happiness.

"She is dead not you. You need to continue on living to carry on her memory. Watching a movie isn't going to tarnish her memory."

Alexis shrugged. "So it's okay to be happy."

Beckett nodded. "Yes it is. You don't have to be happy today or tomorrow but when you do its okay. You have nothing to feel guilty about."

Alexis took a few deep breaths. "I don't want to be happy right now. I just want to scream and yell. To run away forever. Do something crazy. I just feel like I need to fly, be free."

Beckett sighed knowingly. That was definitely something she could relate to. She had gone and done a few crazy things. Died her hair pink, got a tattoo and drinking like her father. None of which she wanted for Alexis.

"Don't do something crazy. You will regret it. Then again it depends on your kind of crazy."

Alexis smiled whether she realised it or not. "Don't worry I won't steal a police horse while naked."

Beckett laughed. Oh how she wished she had been the officer who had arrested Castle while he gallantly road through Central Park. There had been a photo in with the report that she managed to see a week after the incident occurred. It had cost her a date with a pimple faced officer in order to see the report bit it was worth it.

"Okay no horse thievery. What do you want to do?"

Alexis shrugged. "I don't know something I would never do."

Beckett looked around. What could Alexis do that was crazy but not too dangerous? She looked towards the pool.

"Jump in the pool fully clothed."

Alexis looked towards the pool. "That's not very crazy."

Beckett shrugged. "It beats dying your hair pink or getting a tattoo." Beckett decided to leave out the drinking.

"Why would I do...?"

Beckett winced.

"You got a tattoo," Alexis exclaimed in shock.

"Yes and you better not get one. Or dye your hair. Your dad will call my boss and have my badge if you do."

Alexis walked over to the pool. "I was hoping for something wilder."

Beckett removed her watch from her wrist and took her phone from her pocket. She placed them on the pool chair before undoing the pads still on her legs.

"Have you ever done it before?"

Alexis shook her head. "No that's something Dad would do. Why would I jump in the pool with my clothes on? My room is right up there. It would take two seconds for me to run and change."

Beckett raised her brows at the young woman. Alexis looked at her than back at the water.

"It just seems so silly."

Beckett nodded. Yeah it did. Jumping into the pool wasn't crazy enough but it was a start. If Alexis was going to do this then she needed a push. Not literally though.

"Yeah it does," Beckett told her as she turned her back on the water. "It has been a while since I have done something silly. I think I am long overdue." Beckett inched her way to the edge. The heels of her feet were overhanging the edge of the pool now. Beckett raised herself up on her toes. "Let's get crazy," Beckett then performed a backwards somersault and landed into cool water. Just as she breached the surface and took a gulp of air she heard Alexis yell out.

"Worms,"

And suddenly she was engulfed in a wave of water.

Authors note.: Just wanted to point out I am not a therapist, which may or may not be obvious. Just as Beckett is giving advice to Alexis based on her experiences I am doing the same here. My own experiences, that of others around me and research I have done. It may not be correct or not the same as what you have experienced. Sorry.

If you are dealing with a loss, whether it be family, friend, pet or simply something that was very close and personal to you I encourage you seek help. Whether that help comes to you in the form of a book, tv show, friends, family or a professional. (or even a stranger online. Feel free to PM me or find me on Twitter Natalie NattieLizzie). Reach out. People do what to help. You don't have to go it alone.