Chapter 5

Tears of Sadness

The little group encounters a random group of Akumas, and in a moment time, the Akumas are dead, killed by the exorcists.

Laia had stood there without doing anything and watches as the other Exorcists worked their kills. Kanda had even saved her a few times before the Akumas could land a hit on her.

"Laia, are you out of your mind?" Kanda scolded her, who stares at him and explains with a forlorn expression on her face.

"I was listening to the souls… they're so pitiful, and they thank us for helping them, Yuu…"

Kanda walks on the road while thinking, pondering on the thoughts and possibilities that Laia could see the souls as well as Allen Walker. It was a gift, and it was a curse as well. From what Lavi had said, it was so horrible that he couldn't sleep for days, and it was like a living nightmare to be able to see the souls within, all wrapped up and trapped within.

Noticing the absence of the sound of her boots, Kanda stopped. Laia loves to follow Yuu from behind, knowing that there are snacks in his bags like fruits and such. Kanda, on the other hand, wanted her to stay away from Daisya, and had brought these snacks for her, luring her away from Daisya and knowing that she'll rummage through his bag for the food instead of Daisya's. Strange to say, he felt a fit of jealousy surfaces through him whenever he saw just how close Daisya is to Laia. He didn't like it.

But today, he felt his bag is just as heavy as it had started out to be after the fight. He senses that Laia did not eat the food that he had prepared for her. His heart tugged at the sense that there is something wrong with Laia, and there is the great need to look back and check up on her.

Turning around, he found out that she had stopped walking and stood there, clutching her heart with her head hung down.

"Hurry up," Kanda snapped at her, trudging back to her in large strides and prepared to kick her just so he could get her to move faster. Before he could do it, however, he noticed something not right about her.

Clutching her heart, Laia's face contorted in a sorrowful expression as tears streamed down her face, a sob stuck in her throat as she tried to breathe properly in large gulps of air.

"Wha-" Kanda mumbled out, his snide comment stuck in his throat at the sight of the suddenly crying Laia.

Daisya and Marie stopped their tracks upon hearing Laia's sob. Daisya dropped his heavy bags and walked towards Laia in equally large strides and enveloped her in his embrace, patting her head as her sobs escalated into a full-scale wail of sorrow.

"You don't just stand there and leave a girl crying to herself," Daisya said teasingly, spreading his crooked smile on his face as he wriggled his eyebrow at Kanda while patting Laia's head soothingly encouraging her to sob and wail to her heart's content in his arms. "A man's strong arms and body are made for that reason."

"They're so pitiful… the Akumas…" Laia wailed, crying her heart out in Daisya's shoulder. "So pitiful…"

"If you pity them, Laia," Kanda said out of the blue, surprising everyone. "Then all the more reason to put them out of their misery. Your Innocence is made for you to do that. Help them in that way."

Detaching herself from Daisya, Laia wiped her tears away and trudged towards Kanda.

"But it's so hard to do it… I don't have the heart to kill them…" Laia said to Kanda, tears welling up in her eyes again.

Kanda sighed and clicked his tongue in annoyance. Raising his hand, Kanda wiped her tears away with his thumb. "Don't cry. Crying is not going to help them. Use your Innocence well as they have been given to you. We are all they have for a hope to salvage their souls."

Kanda walked closer to Laia and heaved up her bag. She looks up at him with that adorable eyes of hers, sobbing from time to time as her tears fell down. Clicking his tongue in disapproval, Kanda wiped her tears with his thumb and chided her a little.

"Stop crying. It's unsightly," Kanda said to her, continuing to wipe tears away from her face.

It was so rare for Kanda to comfort her, and she felt so touched that she lets out a full blown wail and hugged him tightly.

"Oh dear," Marie said, hearing and feeling that Laia had hugged Kanda. He also heard Kanda's heart accelerated, and he is sure that the Asian Exorcist is red in the face.

"Laia!" Kanda called her, trying to detach himself from her but to no avail. She kept on crying while the rest looks on.

Place-New Black Order Headquarters Britain
Corridors of the Exorcists' Rooms
Time: Late At Night

Place-New Black Order Headquarters Britain
Cafeteria
Time: Early Morning

Kanda came up to the Exorcist's floor deep into the night after he had finished training. He still couldn't get used to the new grounds and had a hard time concentrating in his meditations. Nonetheless, he did it almost 3 hours later and continued into the night, feeling entirely rejuvenated despite there being no changes in his emotions. He's still cranky with the new guards posted all over the Black Order and outside the corridor leading towards the Exorcist's dormitories, he's still annoyed with the Finders and definitely, he's still lividly mad with Madarao's icy demeanor.

Nearly stomping, the samurai came up to the floor leading to his room and saw a dark figure by the walls, seemingly bend over and taking deep short huffed breaths.

Kanda had an idea who that figure was, and he planned to just walk pass her and ignore the fact that she was there at all. When he finally pass by her, however, his heart screamed out for her and he couldn't help but to slow down his steps and came to a stop by a tiredly panting Laia.

"Where's Madarao?" Kanda asked in a low tone, breaking the silence with his deep masculine voice. Laia didn't appear to register his presence at all. It looks to Kanda that she was merely attempting to ignore him as she braced the wall with one hand whilst the other held on tightly to her chest, concentrating in breathing deeply with her eyes closed while beads of sweat trailed down the sides of her temple. When she continues to ignore him standing beside her, his eyes glanced at her sideways and watched her as she straightened up and moved across the corridor with difficulty with the wall as her support, attempting desperately to escape the towering Asian Exorcist. "Isn't he your watchdog?" Kanda asked again, breaking the silence with his silky low baritone voice.

Then she stopped walking. Kanda couldn't speculate if she was offended by his words or merely she appears out of breath and rested for a while. Leaning her back completely behind the cold rough walls, Laia finally opens her eyes and placing her emerald gaze at him for a while, as if contemplating whether or not talking to him is worth the loss of her energy. After a moment, she straightened back up and continued her walk back to her room.

After a while, Laia finally decided to break the silence once again and answered him in a small raspy whisper. "…Lvellie needs him."

There was a pause. He uttered a small "Che" and continued to walk back to his room, deciding that ignoring her is probably the best option. He kept repeating in his mind that she is no longer the all innocent Laia he knew a few months back. He kept telling himself that Laia is now corrupted by Lvellie and that she is now his new pet. He kept repeating it in his mind again and again that the old Laia is dead, that she will never again resurface back and that she will never again tell him every day just how much she loves him.

At the thought of her daily confession once upon a time ago, he stopped walking. Heaving a sigh, he turned back, walked briskly towards her and scooped Laia up easily, proceeding to strode back to his room. He prefers to enter from his room and from there; he'll enter her room from their adjoining bathroom's door. Somehow, he didn't think that Laia would have brought her room's key with her.

It's hard to believe that it's only months ago, she would squeak and put up a great fuss if she is lifted up from the floor by him, refusing entirely to be carried by him because she could walk. Now, she merely gasped and kept quiet, not bothering to put up a single protest.

Kanda smirked at her silence and said almost teasingly, "Not feeling like kicking up a fuss like the brat you used to be?"

Laia responded by hooking one arm around his neck and leaning her head into the crook of his neck. She rested her cheek contentedly on his shoulder and sighed as she whispered her reply slowly, "…I'm tired…"

He took his sweet time walking slowly back to his room. Taking the rare opportunity that arises with Madarao's absence, Kanda asked the girl in his arms, smiling victoriously, knowing that she couldn't escape his questionings anymore. "What is Lvellie making you do, Laia?"

Laia, who had dozed off by the lull of Kanda's heartbeat, woke up at the sound of her name. Despite having closed her eyes, Laia did not sleep. She personally finds that she couldn't sleep when she's that close with Kanda, and that is a secret that she will not tell anyone unless she is on the brink of death. Looking up at him through her lashes, Laia answered him in the same raspy whisper, "That is none of your business."

Kanda rolled his eyes. Of course she would say that, Kanda thought inwardly. "If you happen to recall anything of the past months, I am still your partner; your comrade. You still belong in Tiedoll Unit. Even if I didn't ask, that old fart would ask you himself too."

"Leave Tiedoll out of this," Laia hissed dangerously, causing Kanda to halt his steps and look down at her. Her fiery emerald eyes burns with intensity at the guilt Kanda is trying to use to pry in formations out of her. "Don't use Tiedoll as a way to make me confess. I've sworn to keep it a secret as long as he keeps his. If he breaks it, then I'll break mine."

Leaning in, Kanda stares boldly into her eyes and noted that she is wavering at their close proximity. He could feel her small pants of breaths breathing softly against his lips. "Then I'll make him break his," Kanda said to her in a low voice, wanting her to be the only one to hear it in case the walls suddenly sprouted ears. Keeping his dark gaze at her, Kanda held her gaze a while longer and continues, "If he breaks it, will you tell me then?"

It has been a while since Kanda had seen such uncertain gaze on Laia Elfreya. Her eyes darted everywhere while one of her fingers gripped onto the front of his linen shirt, a sign that she is not willing to cooperate, and yet at the same time desperately wanting someone to care so much that they would force her to reveal the truth. "…Why would you want to know?" she finally replied him in her raspy voice.

Frowning disapprovingly at the raspy voice, Kanda concluded that she has not been taking proper intake of fluid for at least a whole day. Closing his eyes frustratingly, Kanda opens them and raised his voice a little in a slight hissing tone, "Just tell me!"

Laia frowns and closes her eyes tightly, her hand on the front of his chest flying to her temple and held them hard, trying to ease the growing migraine. In a shaky voice, Laia said to him, "…Yes, I promise. My head hurts…you're talking too loud…"

Kanda watches her for a while, noting that her eyes are drooping heavily, threatening to cover those beautiful emerald orbs of hers from his. He felt his heart wrenched painfully when he felt just how light and skinny she felt in his arms. He could feel her rib bones with just a light brush of his hands. She had not been taking enough food, and had lost a significant amount of weight from it when her Innocence continues to suck her precious energy at a rapid daily basis. Leaning in close, Kanda brushes his lips on her forehead lovingly and mumbles his apologies against her skin.

Her door lay at the end of the short corridor, slightly ajar, as he observes it himself. Pushing it open as quietly as he could manage with his rough demeanor, Kanda walked into Laia's bedroom and gently places her down on the bed, tucking her in and making sure she feels comfortable. When she finally settles in, Kanda took it upon himself to watch over her until she is asleep. Kneeling down by the side of her bed, Kanda held one of her hand up to his cheek and kisses the palm of her hand, sighing almost contentedly with the feel of her skin beneath his lips.

"…I'm just…tired…Kanda…" Laia said suddenly in a sleepy voice, her eyes focusing onto Kanda's ministration on her hand. "So very tired…till I feel…I felt like dying these days…Do you, Kanda?"

Kanda chuckled bitterly to himself at the sound of his surname. "Whatever happens to you calling me by my first name, woman? I seem to recall perfectly well that you always do it despite me telling you otherwise."

Laia smiles tiredly. "You didn't like it anyway…so what's the point in continuing it?"

Turning her hand around, Kanda kisses the back of her hand and leans in close to her face. In a low soft voice, Kanda said timidly to her after a long period of silence. "…You're one of the first to constantly call me by my first name even with my sword at your throat, Laia." Pausing for a while, Kanda continues uncertainly, "It's…weird…when you call me Kanda…"

The male Exorcist felt a slight grip on his hand holding hers. She had tried to grip his hand tightly in hers, but all she could manage in her weakened state is a feeble squeeze. "…I'll keep you alive, Yuu-kun…" she said in a whisper so soft that Kanda isn't sure if he had heard her calling his first name correctly. "I'll keep everyone out of harm's way…I swear on my soul…"

Kanda watches her eyelids slides close heavily, a deep breathing ensures afterwards as she slips into a deep slumber under his gaze. Kanda couldn't believe that his heart wrenches wretchedly when he sees her looking paler as the day goes by. It was a sad sight to behold. His once cheerful and beautiful Laia wilting right in front of him practically kills his soul.

Gripping her hand tightly in his, Kanda kisses the back of her hand and whispered hotly against her skin, "Uphold your promise made to me. You've sworn with your soul that you'll stay and live. Make sure you keep that promise. For all of us – Laia – live."