Adelheid: Break Myself is coming to a close, but I can't decide which ending to go with. (Cause one will probably get me assassinated.)Depending on the ending, there may be a sequel. And Nico's the only one in the relationship who CAN get hurt. It actually caused a dilemma with this chapter, but i said screw it and wrote it anyways.
blackandwhitephotos: Above question.

And Heat is also coming to a close. (lazyfanfictioner: they're all kind of connected in a loose-setting of no real plot or consequence. So when I say 'close', it's more like I just won't be updating on this particular story anymore.)

I have nothing else to say other than in writing this I am late for work. Summer jobs suck. I'm trying to work on getting enough credit through gift cards built up on my www . projectpuppet . com account, paninscarlet at hotmail, to help me with my dream job in the future. Yeah, I want to be a puppeteer. Mock away. :P You still get story updates.

Heat Four

Winter in New York was like a bad joke on the entire city. The pretty white flecks that fell from the sky could be called snow, but the slushy grey mush on the sidewalk definitely couldn't. The entire season was just wet, cold, and depressing.

Percy leaned on his windowsill, fogging it up with his breath until he couldn't see the grey city through the window anymore. The lack of sun was like a constant drain to his body. Even the momentary glee of realizing he could get the half-melted snow to sluggishly respond to his command didn't cheer him up. He longed for camp – where the weather was always the warm Indian summer and the strawberry fields were always ripe. He had comrades and friends there, there was no schoolwork to worry about, and he had a pair of warm arms to retreat to some nights in the form of one dark-eyed boy.

Percy smiled as he thought of Nico – dark eyes, dark hair, and a darker tone under his pale skin than Percy's summer tan. Which had begun to fade weeks ago. He'd be paler than Nico when he finally made it back to camp, and back to Nico's arms.

Percy moved to wipe the window off so he could see the bland street below, a mottled mix of grey. He saw grey figures peppered with occasional color in scarves and knit hats before he coughed hard into his hand. Something dislodged in his throat with the cough, and Percy barely had time to grab a tissue before hacking it up. He wadded the tissue up and dropped it into the nearly full wastebasket position beside his bed.

Percy sank back into his pillow, his throat taunt and his whole body aching. He was miserable, more miserable than usual this unbearable winter. He longed for Nico, to have his compact dark body to curl around and just soothe away the aches he had been unfamiliar with since taking his dip in the River Styx. Which Nico had been there for.

His thoughts were pulled away from his dark love as his door opened and his mother looked in, a worried expression plain on her face. "How are you feeling Percy?" she asked in a soft voice, as if she could break him apart by speaking too loud.

He weakly tried to smile. "Okay," he rasped out. She crossed the room, still in her blue jacket worn while walking home, the snow melting in the hot bedroom and dripping onto Percy's bed. He mindlessly flicked them off as she frowned and drew back.

"You still have a bad fever Percy. Are you sure you don't want to go to the doctor…?"

"And he'll do what?" Percy asked with vague amusement, the words grating in his sore throat. "Give me a shot?"

She sighed and stroked the sweat-stained hair from his face. "I'm sorry, I'm still getting used to-…" she swallowed her next words. "But how can you still get sick?"

Percy shrugged. He wasn't sure himself. Stupid gods and their loopholes. "You didn't have to come home on your lunch brea-ak." His voice broke with another coughing fit that brought up more green slime he spat into another tissue.

Her frowned deepened, and she looked to the empty glass and bottle beside his bed. Without speaking she swept them up and bustled off to refill them with orange juice and water.

Percy sighed himself, a rasp of a breath, and looked back out the window at the grey city. His whole body hurt. It had been a welcome feeling, after a long summer of watching others bandage their injuries while he stood unfazed. He felt guilty when he hurt them on accident, knowing they couldn't return blood for blood like they could with the other campers.

He felt even guiltier when he left bruises on Nico's wrists, or bite marks on his tender neck and shoulders. Sometimes, he left long scratches on the boy's back or sides. Once, after a particularly aggressive sparring match between them, and an even more aggressive tumble on the bed, there had been Nico's blood on the sheets below him and on Percy. Percy's heart had nearly stopped.

"Gods Nico, I'm sorry!" he blurted out. Nico gave him a blank look, before a hand quested down as if to confirm the source. As he stared in surprise at the red smear on his fingers, Percy grabbed his blanket and threw it around Nico. He felt embarrassed to even look at Nico, clutching the blanket closed over the smaller boy as he clenched his teeth. He mentally tore into himself – he couldn't tell when to stop. He didn't know when things began to hurt.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I swear, I didn't mean to…" Percy started to babble. Nico gave him an exasperated smile, before moving forward and letting the blanket slide from his shoulders as he kissed Percy to silence him.

"It's a good pain," Nico reassured him, wrapping his arms around Percy's neck. "It reminds me… I'm alive."

When Percy had started to feel the full-body ache of the fever and the wracking pain from the coughing, he had been relieved. He could still feel some kind of pain. When the pounding headache started, Percy was in tears. His mother thought it was from the pain, but no… it was from being able to feel. Feel a small part of what other humans did, of what the other campers did… of what Nico did. The fiery lances of pain made him happy.

Well, at first.

Now, he kind of wouldn't mind if it was over.

His mother returned to his room balancing a full glass and bottle, as well as a bowl of tomato soup and saltine crackers. Percy smiled to himself at the sight – she still fussed over him like she did when he was a little boy. It was hard to remember that there had been a time before Camp Half-Blood. As she set everything down on the desk within arm's reach, Percy vaguely wished he could go back to that time.

Except then he wouldn't have Nico.

He hastily withdrew his wish. He couldn't imagine his life now without the boy who dressed in dark colors. Back then, before Nico, he had always connected dark with cold. It was strange now, to think of dark as warm – the warmest thing he knew. Like curling up for hibernation in the winter, cozy and warm in sleep. Or maybe dark hot chocolate. That suited Nico best, and Percy smiled.

"Is there anything else I can get for you?" Sally asked in a worried tone.

"No. I'm okay mom," he reassured her again.

"Paul and I will be home late – but if you need anything…"

"I know. I'll call. You should get back to work. Thank you," Percy replied in short sentences to avoid straining his voice more. He coughed again, and shut his eyes. He just ached.

Sally's cool hand pressed to Percy's forehead and eyes again and Percy smiled faintly up for her. "Get some sleep Percy," she soothed.

"Don't wanna sleep," Percy mumbled. Fever-dreams were worse than the usual demi-god dreams. "Sick of sleeping."

She chuckled softly, then her hand slipped away and Percy had to drag his eyes open to watch her leave.

He tried swallowing some soup, the liquid burning down his sore throat the whole way down. He dragged his gaze to the window, dazedly watching his mother's blue jacket amid the grey. He shut his eyes, meaning only to blink but it took a minute to drag them open again, and she was gone.

He managed a few more spoonfuls, feeling guilty as he pushed the bowl away. He had scolded Nico often for not eating enough, and sometimes force-fed the boy. Of course, some bribery or coercion was usually required. Including but not limited to tying the boy's wrists to the bed… it had been an interesting night.

Percy's face felt impossibly hotter, and he opened his eyes without realizing he had shut them until he began to reimagine Nico's face as he smirked, as if teasing Percy into it…

The world outside his window was still grey, meaning he hadn't been out too long. But something caught Percy's eye; a still dark spot amid the grey world and the moving flecks of people. He pressed a hand to the glass and squinted down, fogging up the window but not before realizing the figure had been looking up back at him.

A moment later he felt the slight shift of the air around him as a dark portal opened. Percy's face had already brightened by the time Nico stepped through, knees nearly colliding with Percy's bed.

"Nico," he rasped happily.

"Hey Perc," Nico spoke softly, a beautifully rare smile on his face as he pushed his hood off, causing the still-white snow to fall. His shook out his lanky black hair as Percy reached out for him. Nico didn't hesitate to kneel on the bed over Percy and wrap him in a hug. The surface of his bomber jacket and underlying hoodie were cold and slightly damp with snow, but Nico felt wonderfully warm.

"I missed you," Percy choked out before another coughing fit. Nico held him through it, tightening his embrace.

"Missed you too." The coughing subsided, Percy grateful he hadn't coughed anything up on Nico. Nico withdrew from Percy's embrace, and Percy reluctantly let go. "A little birdy told me you were sick."

"Big-mouthed bird," Percy mumbled with a feeble grin as he leaned back into his pillow. Nico shook his head, then looked at the desk moved to beside the bed.

"Have you eaten?" he asked, his eyes on the suspiciously full bowl of soup.

"Don't wanna." Nico gave him a frown for his effort. "Take off your jacket – stay a while," Percy asked, and the raspy voice made the plea more pitiful. Nico obeyed, slipping the bomber jacket from his shoulders to the floor, as well as his hoodie. Then he picked up the bowl, and held a spoonful of the soup up for Percy.

Percy tried to take a mental picture of the moment so he could reflect back on it later. Nico was trying to feed him. An interesting and new reversal of their roles.

So Percy ate the spoonful, and another and another, until about half the bowl was gone and he couldn't eat anymore. His eyes kept threatening to permanently shut. Nico had him drink some water, and Percy's eyes blinked for a minute.

When he opened them again, Nico wasn't on his bed anymore and he panicked, nearly hyperventilating. He moved to try and get up, but his bare foot his Nico's jackets still on the floor. At that moment Nico came back through the door, his face growing from surprised to upset.

"Get back in bed!"

Nico could sound remarkably like Percy's mother.

Percy sank back gratefully – his head and started swimming when he lurched up. He saw the now-empty waste basket in Nico's hands as Nico replaced it beside his bed. "Where were you going?" Nico asked.

"To find you." Percy felt sheepish. But Nico had disappeared on him too many times to take his presence for granted. "I thought …you left."

Nico frowned. "Why would you think that?"

Percy was too tired to argue this. "Cause you always do," he mumbled even as he was dropping off.

It was silent for a moment, so Percy thought he had fallen asleep again. Nico apparently did too, because he gently pressed his hand to Percy's forehead. Nico was just so warm. Then there was movement as Nico's weight shifted, and he laid down next to Percy, wrapping his arms around the sick boy.

"Then I'll wait for you to wake up," he whispered softly so as not to wake Percy. "I won't leave you alone again."

Percy half-smiled before he drifted off to sleep, warm in Nico's arms.