This chapter got to nearly 3500 words so I've split it in two. Next part should be up within the next few hours after I polish it.

As ever this goes out to you know who and to mylittleyellowbird for writing a limerick about me and potential starting a new craze on Tumblr


'Sister! Come in come in.' Sister Julienne dragged her inside. 'Do sit down.' Shelagh smiled as she did so. Everyone piled in, desperate to find out if someone they cared about was about to leave them for an indefinite period of time.

'Well?'

'I have early stage tuberculosis as suspected.'

'Oh no!' Trixie gasped, tears pooling in her eyes.

'I am to go to a sanatorium tomorrow morning. Dr Turner will drive me again. I'm lucky, it's still in the early stages and I'm going to one of the best sanatoriums in the country apparently. I forget what it's called.' She smiled. 'I'm going to be just fine. Dr Turner says I am definitely going to beat this.'

'Oh that is good news. I am glad.' Sister Julienne smiled as they all let out audible sighs of relief.

'There's something else isn't there.' Jane

said staring at Sister Bernadette intensely. They all stared at the surprisingly insightful woman confused before noting Sister Bernadette nod gently, paling beyond levels any of them had seen on her.

'Yes. There is.' She gulped.

'My dear what is it?'

'I wanted to speak with you in private about it first Sister but seeing as you're all here...'

'Sister?'

'I..' She broke off and took a deep breath 'i wish to leave the order.' There was a shocked silence.

'I'm sorry I think I must have misheard you.'

'I want to leave the order.'

'You mean move to a different convent?' Sister Julienne asked panicked

'I mean I no longer want to be Sister Bernadette. I don't want to be a nun anymore.'

'Why? Where's this come from?'

'I've been considering it for a while now. Then i was diagnosed with a potentially fatal illness and my future became clear. I know what I want. If I die I don't want to die as a nun. I want to die married to the man I love.'

'The what?' Jenny gasped.

'I have fallen in love. And he has fallen in love with me. We've engaged in a secret relationship for several months. And we're getting married.'

'Preposterous!' Sister Evangelina cried. 'Where'd you getting a stupid idea like that? Was it him? This young man of yours? Who does he think he is putting such ideas in an impressionable young mind. It's okay sister you've had a hard day. Just tell me who he is and I'll sort him out.'

'Which is precisely why I'm not telling you who it is.'

'You have to! He can't be allowed to make a nun think of leaving. He's disgusting.'

'Its not his fault!' Shelagh said angrily. 'Don't you go blaming him!'

'Don't you raise your voice at me!'

'If you start insulting the man I love I certainly will raise my voice!'

'I'm only trying to protect you from harm.'

'By hurting me?' She shouted

'Look it's not too late. We can fix this. Is he forcing you to do this?'

'You're unbelievable! And for your information it is far too late for you to do anything.'

'What because the two of you are in love with each other?

'No. Well yes, we do love each other beyond reason but I was actually referring to the fact that I'm 5 weeks pregnant.' Shelagh huffed.

'...' It was some considerable seconds before another sound was heard.

'You're...What?' Sister Evangelina growled, dangerously lowly.

'I'm 5 weeks pregnant. With child. Knocked up.'

'You broke your vow?' Sister Julienne asked distressed.

'I did. If it wasn't for my being a nun we'd have been married months ago. I love him, already consider him my husband in my heart. We are completely devoted to each other and want to spend our lives together. I woke up one day, after a dream, deciding that if He wanted me to break my vow, if He wanted me to walk that path then he would give me a sign. Later that day my man expressed his wish to marry me and make love to me and how sad he was that he couldn't. I took that as the sign. Sooner or later I was going to end up leaving the order to be with him. Tadpole just ...sped up the process.'

'Tadpole?'

'My baby is about the size of one so P-my fiancé named it Tadpole.'

'Aww.' The nurses cooed.

Sister Evangelina stood and moved to face Shelagh. Shelagh gulped.

'You are a disgrace. You've brought shame to the order, to Nonnatus, to Poplar, to your sisters, to your friends.' Shelagh eyes began to fill with tears. 'You are a selfish, disgusting little whore and I am ashamed to be associated with you. I hope God can forgive you for this because I can't. You have betrayed Him and us. I hope you get what's coming to you. You make me sick.' She shouted into her face. Shelagh whimpered at the force of the attack.

'Sister Julienne?' Shelagh turned to the closest thing to a mother. The nun met her eyes. The disappointment and disgust in her eyes caused Shelagh to stumble backwards.

'Please...sister?' Sister Julienne walked out. Trixie reached out for her but she stepped out of reach,shaking slightly. 'I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come. I knew you wouldn't take this well. I just thought you deserved to know face to face. I'm sorry. Goodbye everyone. This will most likely be the last time I ever see you. I love you.' Shelagh sobbed as she ran out of the room and outside. There was a stunned silence, nobody quite sure how to react to the actions of the past few minutes.

'We can't just let her leave!' Trixie cried eventually.

'I'm not going after her. The slut!' Sister Evangelina glared at them before storming out.

'Sister Julienne?'

'Oh dear. You'll help me won't you?' Trixie turned to the other nurses.

'Of course.' They rushed out the front door but their friend was nowhere to be seen.

Where might she go?'

'The church?'

'Maybe but I doubt it. I think she'll want to stay away from religious places right now. However I don't have a better idea. Let's go.'


'Okay we've tried the church, the dockyard, the parish hall, the park. Where on earth could she be? I doubt she was able to find lodgings that quickly and without an awkward explanation.'

'Even if she did we wouldn't know who to ask for.'

'Perhaps she jumped on a bus?'

'Maybe. Wait! Doctor Turner is driving her to the sanatorium! He might know where she is?'

'Or if he doesn't then he could pass on a message.'

'Sounds like a plan.'


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