April did not consider herself out of shape. She did step classes and aerobics and her body was pleasantly toned and healthy. When she asked Raphael to train her she was absolutely not expecting it to be so difficult, or for her body to ache so badly afterword. His warm ups included a jog through the forest and more exercise than she felt she had ever done in her life combined. By the time it was time for learning how to actually fight, her body was almost ready to quit on her. Yet she had persevered through the last few mornings and was determined to keep up with his lesson plan.

She had asked Raphael to focus on skills aimed at a fighter who would be smaller and lighter than their opponents. The last few days had mostly been about learning a few kata forms, proper stances, blocks and break-falls. Oh, the break-falls. Most of today he had been showing April how to use the katas and blocks she had learned against an opponent. At random intervals he would trip her up or push her over.

"Your body will start to remember how to take the fall automatically," he had assured her. By the time Raphael was done with her she was a sore sweaty mess with a coating of dirt and grass for good measure.

They ended their sessions by relaxing on the log under the willow. Today April collapsed across it on her back, resting the back of her head on his thigh. "I would jump in the pond but I'm so tired I might drown," she whined. "I might not make it back to the house today now that I've stopped."

Her eyes were closed and he tried to ignore her head on his thigh and the way her hair spilled down between his legs in a tickling fashion. "You asked for it," he reminded her, keeping his voice level. "You didn't want anyone going easy on you."

"I was so naïve."

Raphael chuckled under his breath. "You should see what Master Splinter puts us through to keep us in good form. And still we ain't as good as he is. He's lightning fast. He can still put any one of us on the mat." He sighed. "I never thought we would need to protect him. None of us did. It didn't even occur to us." His mood shifted to darker thoughts and April could sense it.

"Tomorrow you will be training with your brothers again, and with me in the morning as a warm up. You'll be in great shape. We'll go back to the city and shake it up until we find someone who knows where Splinter is."

He nodded. "I'm sorry about your store. The guys said it was your father's. That you kept it open because you missed him, and that it was full of cool stuff. I wish I had seen it."

April smiled, remembering the brothers playing around with everything in the shop. "At least I still have this place. There are a lot of good memories here. He passed away a year ago. It never stops hurting either, it's just this empty place in your heart where you know they should be."

She paused, and he could feel the sorrow coming off of her in a slow wave. He shifted awkwardly, desperate to stroke her hair or comfort her in some way. She misunderstood his anxious movements for discomfort and sat up, groaning. "That's why I know Splinter is alive," she said, looking into his eyes. "You would feel it if he was really gone."

She was still trying to comfort him, Raphael realized. To keep him focused and his rage in check. Their situation was bringing up memories of her own loss and being back at this farm was really hard on her. She had never complained or let it show. He didn't know what to do to help. She looked exhausted and had a few light bruises ghosting up her arms from practicing blocks. The layer of grime over her did nothing to deflect from her beauty.

Trying to break the sombre mood he had created, he scooped her up and jumped down off the log. April cried out in surprise and laughed as he marched back towards the house with her in his arms. "Ya didn't look like you were gonna make it to the shower today," he joked, "and you really, really need it."

"Lucky me, I get chauffeur service today." She smiled and rested her head against him, sighing contentedly.

"Don't get too used to it." Holding her against him, looking at her closed eyes and the small smile on her face, he reminded himself of the same.

oooooo

"Use the environment. Stay concealed," whispered April. That was the lesson of the day. She kept close to cover and moved as silently as possible. She had no idea where Raphael was right now, but she was determined to find him first. She slowed her breathing and cleared her mind, listening for him.

They were practicing sneak attacks. It was like ninja hide and seek and when one found the other they would attack, spar, then repeat. Raphael caught her off guard every damn time. She would block his attack if she was quick enough, possibly get a kick or a punch in and then be practicing those break-falls again as he downed her.

This time he dropped from a tree, pinning her immediately.

"No fair! You are green! In a forest," she said, exasperated. "I haven't found you once to try an attack. It's your turn to defend."

Laughing, Raphael rolled onto his back and lay beside her in the grass and moss, tucking his arms behind his head.

"Really? You aren't even going to stand up for my attack?" April panted.

"We're taking a break. I can hear you breathing a mile away right now."

She scowled at him but wasn't going to argue with a break. She collapsed all the way back as well, letting the cool ground drain some of the extra heat away from her tired body. She closed her eyes and stretched out her aching muscles, inhaling the sweet smell of grass and wildflowers deeply.

When she opened her eyes she noticed he had rolled onto his side and was looking down at her. "What?' she asked crankily.

"Your hair. It's been slowly turning red. Why did you color it?"

"Prime time prefers blondes to gingers, not that it matters anymore," she grumbled. "I just haven't had a chance to redo it since we've been here."

"Can I touch it?" he asked curiously.

"Um, sure. Don't mind the sweat and dirt," she laughed.

Slowly he reached over and played with the ends of it, tested it in his fingers, then rubbed her scalp. His hand seemed big and strong enough to crush her head but there was only a gentle massaging. She was practically purring by the time his curiosity was sated.

"Definitely like it red." He gave her a small smile, almost shy suddenly.

"It's a good colour on you too, tough guy. Maybe now that my TV career is over I'll keep it natural."

"I don't understand why you would need to change anything to be on TV. I'd give anything to have even Casey's ugly mug and here you humans are judging each other on such minor differences. It doesn't make sense. It doesn't give me much hope for acceptance."

"Hey, you are two for two as far as humans go. Rocky start until we got to know you and that you were trying to help people. It's hard to believe your own eyes seeing you guys. It's hard for the mind to put into context at first because we have no real-life context to draw on. Human? Animal? You don't fall into either category and it's scary at first. For me, once I figured out you had saved my life and heard your amazing story, I realized you were just people. It doesn't matter to me what you look like."

"Yeah, sure it don't," he said sarcastically.

"Hey! You callin' me a liar?" she said in her best impression of him. "You're gonna pay for that."

He grinned and their sparring continued once again. She tried hiding and attacking to practice her stealth but he always heard her coming and deflected easily. He could see her frustration rising as he blocked her latest punch. With a cry she quickly ducked his return and swung her leg out, catching him behind the knees and knocking him flat on his back.

"HA!" she cried victoriously.

He spun on his shell and knocked her legs out from under her, sending her crashing down on top of him. He caught her in his arms and laughed. She loved the sound of it, the way it started as a deep throaty chuckle before erupting into a louder melody.

"You couldn't just let me have my moment?" she huffed into his throat before sitting up.

"Can't have your ego getting too big too fast," he joked. He looked at her with open affection for a moment. April blushed and returned his gaze with a smile in her eyes but he went tense. She realized she was straddling his thigh and there was an undeniable warmth against his leg where she was pressed to him. Her hands were braced against his lower plastron and her fingers were rubbing absently along the smooth surface.

She froze. The moment Raphael saw the nervous look in her eyes he dumped her on the ground and stalked off towards the pond. She followed at a distance, wondering if he was going to stop in their usual after-training spot, but he marched himself directly into the water.

She felt the disappointing ache of rejection. Raphael obviously craved contact and comfort as much as his brothers, but let it show the least. He understood better than the others just what a lonely and unfair turn life had given them. He had built a wall to protect himself that April had slowly been chipping away at, showing him they could have friends and careful contact with the world. Somehow she had crossed the line and blew it. Now he would put up Fort Knox.