Howard stood up and took the empty mug from Vince's hands, setting it on the table. "Vince, you can't really believe all that... can you?"
"Why? Why shouldn't I believe it? That's all people ever say about me why wouldn't it be true?"
Howard lifted up Vince's chin so that their eyes met. "It might be all you've heard, Vince. But it's definitely not all that people say."
Vince yanked his head away and sat back down on the couch. "Howard please don't lie to me about this to make me feel better, alright? I'll only just look like a bigger idiot that I already am for believing you."
Howard felt hurt at this and a small pang of anger hit him in the stomach. "Vince, you'll only be an idiot if you don't believe me. I mean, we're best mates, right? Best friends?"
"... yeah."
"Right, so you've got to believe me when I tell you that all those other people are wrong. They're absolutely wrong. You're not slow or thick or any of those other things, Vince. You might not think about things the same way that other people do, but that's what makes you you! If I, or anyone else for that matter, was able to see the world through the eyes of Vince Noir I'm sure we'd be able to see a much happier and magical place."
Vince was looking down at his hands in his lap, and his hair was covering most of his face but Howard was sure he could see a small smile beginning to appear.
"Y'know," Vince began, "When I used to watch American movies and TV and stuff when I was little, I thought the image had been flipped cos they were on the other side of the world or something, so it came to us backwards, and that's why they was driving on the wrong side of the car and roads. I dunno. It made sense to me then."
"I don't want to make you do anything you don't want to, Vince, okay? But I do want you to understand that what people say or think about you isn't necessarily true."
"Alright, Howard."
The two men shared a hug, mugs were brought back into the kitchen, and a lot of crumpled tissues were put into the trash. Hours later, the two were sat back upon the couch watching a satirical news program Howard had picked out after quite a bit of protest on Vince's part – "Colobus the Crab is on in ten minutes, Howard! No, it ain't a new one, but does that really matter?"
Vince yawned and stretched in an exaggerated manner, attempting (and failing) to attract Howard's attention. After a minute or two he stood up.
"I think I'm gonna head of to bed, Howard."
"Hmm?" Howard glanced up quickly then back to the TV. "Er, ok. 'Night."
"Are we uh... doin' anything tomorrow?"
"No... I don't think so."
"Maybe you could um... show me a few things about driving, then? If you... If you really think I could do it, I mean."
Howard muted the television and turned to fully face Vince.
"Vince, I have the utmost confidence in you. And of course, with my competent instructing skills you'll be one of the best drivers on the roads today. I can see the headlines now, yes sir – Driving Ace Vince Noir: The best in town, the best around! You're gonna do great."