The Hero of Ferelden had been in Skyhold for less than a day and she was already the only thing on anyone's mind. Cullen had hoped it would be easy enough to continue with work as normal, but the sheer fascination everyone held about the missing hero had made that quite impossible. Even the Inquisitor refused to keep her mind on her work. Trevelyan's report on her time in the Emerald Graves consisted solely of a napkin from the tavern with "Gotta meet the Hero, report later," hastily scrawled on it, delivered by a solider who asked him if he happened to know where the Hero was.
One good thing to come out of the Inquisition's obsession with Solona was the relative peace it granted him. Those who would usually consult him or report to him were off gossiping about the Warden or trying to track her down to introduce themselves, leaving him to tackle a mountain of work he kept meaning to get around to but could never actually finish. He stared down at the pile on his desk, wondering what he should work on first.
A strange, hollow sound dragged Cullen out of his thoughts, and he sat puzzled for a moment. If the sound hadn't been coming from the same floor as his office, he'd assume another bird had flown into his room and was beginning to knock things about. As it was, he had no idea. It took another repeat of the banging sound for him to realize what it was. Someone had knocked on his door. Actually knocked, instead of barging in, and that someone was now waiting for permission to open his door.
"Come in," he said, unable to keep the curiosity out of his voice. Who in the Inquisition had suddenly somehow developed manners?
The door opened and in slunk Solona, who immediately shut the door and leaned against it.
"Are you busy?" she asked, looking as though her life depended on his answer.
"Not particularly," he replied. The paperwork on his desk needed doing, but whatever she needed seemed more urgent.
"If anyone asks, we've got a lot of very important work to do regarding the training schedule for the mages, and no one can interrupt me. Please," she said, pleading look making him grin as he realized.
"So you've been introduced to everyone, then?" he asked, and the exasperated look on her face made him laugh.
"Don't laugh!" she said, looking properly scandalized. "Maker, it was worse than being arlessa. Josephine keeps fussing about me being the Hero of Ferelden and wanting to throw me a party, and what sort of linens do I prefer and Leliana should be ashamed of the miniscule guest room she put me in. And Cole! He keeps following me around, dredging up every failure I've had in the past ten years – which, yes, I'll admit, the closure is nice, but it's exhausting – and Trevelyan! Maker's breath, that woman is obsessed with Wardens and has absolutely no concept of personal space. I nearly told her every Warden secret I know to get her to take a few steps back."
Cullen couldn't help but laugh. "If you managed to distract her from Blackwall, I'm certain he'll consider it a favor owed."
"Who?" Solona asked.
"I'm surprised he hasn't introduced himself. One of our members is a Grey Warden. He goes by the name Blackwall." Solona's lack of recognition at the name concerned him.
Solona frowned. "Hmm… Come to think of it, I remember one or two recruits arriving at Amaranthine saying Blackwall sent them. I've never met the man, though. It might be nice to meet another Warden. Maybe we can discuss strategies for dodging Trevelyan."
"You're certainly not going to stay hidden for long in here," Cullen said, "Everyone traipses through here on their way to the tavern. I think you're the first person who's actually knocked since we've established ourselves at Skyhold."
"Oh!" Solona said, "That reminds me why I came. I brought all my research. I promise, I'll settle in whatever corner you put me in and work quietly. You won't even notice me, I swear. I just need somewhere no one will think to look for me."
He was about to correct her that, really, wouldn't this be one of the first places people thought to look for her when he realized that was probably untrue. Leliana knew about their awkward history, which meant, at minimum, she told Josephine, who wouldn't require much to tell Cassandra.
And he was suddenly intensely regretting telling Trevelyan about his infatuation with the Warden. Letting that woman know something that was suddenly such interesting gossip had very rapidly replaced his treatment of Amell at the tower as his biggest regret in life.
He supposed now was as good a time as any to let her know that.
"Solona," he began, and the look of excited hope on her face faded at his serious tone of voice, "I need to talk to you about–"
At that moment, the door to the left of his desk flung open and in strode one of his soldiers, eyes down on a report. "I've got that report from Lady Montilyet ready, ser," he said, placing it on his desk and looking up. "Oh! Warden-Commander Amell! The Spymaster was looking for you. I'll tell her where you are right away."
"The Warden-Commander and I are discussing preparations for the upcoming training exercise," Cullen said, gesturing to his desk. Not a bit of the paperwork there had anything to do with training, but from the soldier's face he could tell it fooled him. "Inform Sister Nightingale that the Commander is not to be disturbed."
"Right! Uh, sorry, ser, but which Commander? You talking about yourself in third person, or…?"
Solona made a sound that was suspiciously similar to a snort.
"Warden-Commander Amell," he said, rubbing his face. Maker, sometimes he was convinced his subordinates played dumb on purpose.
"Ser," the soldier said, saluting before quickly leaving.
It took a moment for Cullen to compose himself. By the time he looked back at Solona, he could tell she was watching him. With what emotion he wasn't sure, but it made him terribly nervous.
"It's been ten years…" Cullen stopped, feeling himself blushing and hating that it made him blush harder. "I know we haven't spoken since the incident – " He cut himself off once more, self-consciously rubbing the back of his neck. "Maker, I've been practicing this for years and I still can't do it."
When he dared to look at her, Solona smiled self-consciously. "Allow me to go first, then. I've been practicing, too. I'm so sorry." Cullen's heart stopped in his chest and he stared at her. "I'm sorry I couldn't get to you sooner, and that I couldn't stay to help rebuild."
"I can't accept your apology," he said, and the devastated yet understanding look on her face made him rush to add, "Because you've done nothing wrong! You deserve an apology from me. The way I acted towards you was unacceptable. You saved my life and restored order to the circle. Thank you, Solona."
The wide-eyed surprise on her face made him feel marginally better. "Did I? I felt like I couldn't return to the Circle until I had proven myself as a Grey Warden. If I went to the Circle first – "
"You may have arrived before Uldred," Cullen corrected her, "And we may never have been rescued. You also had to save the entirety of Thedas from the Blight. I was too blinded then to realize that. I'm… I'm glad I could finally tell you."
Solona fell silent, her face stormy with contemplation. Finally, she almost smiled. "Thank you," she said, her voice tight. "I… it means a lot."
Cullen returned her smile, coming to the slow realization that the feeling in the room had somehow shifted – the air felt thick, like something was hanging between them, and he should say something. He saw the same feeling reflected in Solona's face, and as he took a step towards her the door to his office opened once more and in strode Dorian.
"Cullen, have you seen the Warden? Trevelyan won't stop gushing and– Oh," said Dorian, stopping as he saw the two. He bowed to Solona, who looked equal parts annoyed and amused. As Dorian was looking down in his bow, she looked to Cullen and mimed knocking. He somehow managed not to laugh. "Warden Commander Amell, it is a pleasure to meet you. Dorian Pavius."
"Solona, please," she said with a smile. Whatever the moment between them had been, it was gone, and Cullen felt both regret and relief. "It seems no one in the Inquisition wants to use my name. Or anyone else's first name, really."
"If you're not fond of nicknames you'll need to avoid Varric, then," said Dorian, looking incredibly amused. "I'm certain he'll come up with something suitably kitschy for you."
"Lovely," Solona replied, wrinkling her nose, which made Dorian grin.
"Perhaps, if our Commander is finished with you, I could introduce you to the others you have yet to meet?" asked the Tevinter, shrewdly looking from Cullen to Solona. From the look on Dorian's face, it was clear Trevelyan had told him about Cullen's infatuation with Solona. Maker take it.
Solona looked to Cullen, almost expectant. He didn't know what he could offer her, though, so he simply said, "Of course. We'll meet back here tomorrow morning to prepare for training."
The mage's smile made him grin.
"Sounds like a plan," Solona replied, turning to Dorian. "I'll see you tomorrow, Commander."