"When the going gets tough, the tough get going…"
Katniss Pov:
We have been hiding out in the apartment for what feels like a couple hours, as we have watched Snow congratulate his men for killing me and Coin reading my eulogy. But surprisingly? Those things are far from my thoughts.
I keep thinking, 'Why would Boggs want me to kill Peeta?'
It keeps not making any sense for me. Peeta has saved my life multiple times, including preventing a mutiny, but he is one of my biggest threats? What am I missing?
"Hey."
A calming voice interrupts my chaotic thoughts.
I look up from my laying position on one of the couches to see Finnick smiling gently down at me. I wish I could tell him how I truly feel and that we could be together. But there are too many things going on right now and I have a horrible feeling regarding Finnick's fate. Whenever people get too close to me, bad things tend to happen.
"Hey Finnick, what's going on?"
He gestures to the open seat next to me, which I immediately oblige and move over to give him space.
He gives me another smile before he settles into the spot next to me and says, "Thanks. The others are wondering when you want to leave. Cressida keeps talking about a former games designer who is sympathetic to the rebellion who can give us a place to hide out once Snow figures out that you aren't dead."
"We'll leave in a couple minutes. I still hear a couple Peacekeepers lurking around the area and the last thing we need is to alert them of our location again."
When I say that, Finnick nods in understanding but stays where he is seated. Although we are talking about the obvious danger that lurks around us, I can tell that Finnick knows that something is on my mind.
"Talking about it might help Katniss."
I sigh as I run my hand through my hair. Any other time, I would have said that the fight against Snow and trying to keep everyone alive was on my mind. But I know that Finnick would see through that lie and I am too tired to argue.
"One of Boggs' orders was to kill Peeta. But for the life of me, I have no idea why he would tell me that. Peeta has done nothing but protect me and has done nothing even remotely close to malicious. I feel like I am missing something…" I whisper while I look across us to where Peeta is resting in one of the armchairs. Even now, he looks so peaceful, how could one think that he is a viable threat?
I feel Finnick's hand tentatively rest on my shoulder, as if silently asking permission to do so. Seeing that I didn't react gave him the confidence to have the hand relax on my shoulder a bit.
"Maybe it isn't Peeta himself. Maybe it has nothing to do with him personally. Maybe it is a way to keep you yourself alive." Finnick whispers timidly, afraid of what my reaction would be.
I turn towards Finnick and give him a confused look.
"Think about it. Who was the only one who wanted Peeta to be the face of the rebellion? Who would stop at nothing to make sure that you didn't come out of this alive?"
That's when it all makes sense to me. Of course. Coin would want me to die in order to bring Peeta up, that was probably the condition that Haymitch had to agree to in order to allow Peeta to join us. Boggs' logic makes sense, kill Peeta in order to spare my life. Coin would be forced to stick with me longer than she anticipated, thus buying me necessary time.
Finnick sees me look of realization as he tentatively asks, "Would you do that? Kill one to save yourself?"
The old Katniss before the rebellion started would have immediately said hell no. That she owes Peeta so much and that he should be the one alive instead of herself. But I'm not the old Katniss. I know that sacrifices have to be made for the greater good.
"I honestly don't know anymore," I whisper dejectedly.
I feel Finnick's arm wrap around me to give me a comforting hug.
"I know that a lot has changed in such a short period of time. I know that you have changed so much in a short period of time. But don't lose sight of who you are in order to make everyone else happy. And don't lose hope." He whispers soothingly into my ear.
"Thank you."
He gives me a reassuring squeeze before he pulls himself away from me and says, "Well, I'm going to wake up the others. Don't forget what I told you Katniss."
As I watch Finnick wake everyone up, a small smile temporarily rises on my face.
He didn't tell me what to do. Rather, he led me to what I would do.