Author's notes: Thank you to MissDonnie, Jane Doe51, LouiseKurylo, Wolfhound159 and sheweir always, for sharing their thoughts on the last chapter. This is the next to last chapter and deals with Lisbon leaving for D.C.
Lisbon's brought out of her stupor as her phone rings. She looks at the display, it says Patrick Jane, she lets it go to voice mail, there's no way she can talk to him at this moment. She puts her phone back in her pocket and her eyes settle on the open box of china fragments that rest on her lap.
All around her are piled the boxes she, not long ago, unpacked when Jane had helped her move in. But now she's leaving in a couple of days and she's happy about it, despite the tears marking her face. There's no Jane helping her today, she didn't ask him, and he didn't volunteer. He's mad at her for not telling him personally that she was leaving, that her notices were all in, a new job secured and a future with Marcus waiting. A future that can be forever, should she accept his proposal. She doesn't blame him.
The packing had been going smoothly until she came across this box. She'd forgotten she'd hid it in the back of the closet the day Jane had almost found it. She'd meant to throw it out when he'd gone, after all there was no reason to keep them anymore, now he was back in her life.
She'd been so happy that day. Jane back, she was working interesting, challenging cases, she had a house, Austin's a lovely city and she wasn't a million miles away from two of her brothers. But it wasn't enough. She discovered when Marcus came into her life and they began to get serious and he talked of a life together, that she wanted more. She didn't want to come home to an empty house anymore. She was ready to give herself to someone, and she realised she had been for a long time. The only reason she hasn't said yes, is that it's too fast. Too much to take in.
She hasn't told Jane about the proposal either. Wonder if he would be happy for her? Memories of Jane outside her door, telling her that he wants her to be happy, To do what makes her happy, flash before her. Tears had followed him down her path as she watched him walk away.
She's the one who's leaving, who's moving on and yet as she watched him disappear into the night, she felt desolated, as if he'd walked out of her life. He'd given her permission to forget about him, not to worry about him. She's been the closest person in his life for so long, he'd even felt a need to contact her as a fugitive, despite the risks. She understood him more than anyone, they've been through so much together, but this they can't share.
If things had been different she may have allowed dreams of sharing her life with Jane. He's been the most important person in her life for so long, certainly knows her better than anyone else. There's no denying the emptiness she feels when he's not around. But can a man ever get over losing love so violently? Can a man ever let go of the guilt he's carried? He still wears the ring.
The choice became no choice in the end, a life of dreams and needs fulfilled, or a life of waiting.
She closes her eyes and unshed tears fall down her cheeks. She puts the lid on the box, closing this chapter of her life. She slowly stands and takes the box to the kitchen determidly. She can't keep these anymore, she mustn't keep them anymore. She puts the box in the waste bin under the sink.
Her phone rings once more, it's Abbott.