Kenny became aware of something warm wrapping around him. Waking up was always a familiar feeling, but he could never get used to the feeling of waking of from not dying for once. Dying was all too familiar too, unfortunately. Unpleasant, horrible, that's the only way he could think to describe it. It wasn't like people would understand if he told them. But, now it was warm. Waking up was warm. He opened his eyes to see his ceiling. Same old ceiling, cracked in a few places. Same old walls, his name written in red crayon beside his bed. Same old carpet, stained with various things from years of living here. Craig, cuddled up beside him, his arm wrapped around his chest—oh shit.

That's right. How could Kenny have forgotten? How the hell could he have forgotten about last night? It all rushed back to him. The party, the drinks, the crowds, Craig getting drunk, making out. Oh god. It took him a second to remember that they were still clothed and hadn't had sex, which was weird. Kenny was sort of used to waking up naked too. Thinking about when he tried to put his hand down Craig's pants and he freaked out—that was still bothering him too. But, here he was, sleeping next to him, hugging onto him for warmth, snoring a little. Kenny was so confused.

He didn't want to move, not wanting to disturb Craig. It was warm anyway, having another person next to him in bed. It made his sleep a lot more comfortable that was for sure. Still, it was slightly awkward, even though Craig had made it clear the night before he liked him. Kenny wasn't sure what to do. He was used to one night stands, having sex with strangers for money, not cuddling with his best friend.

Wait—was Craig his best friend? Oh god, he felt embarrassed thinking of that. Well, Kyle and Stan weren't his best friends, just good friends. Cartman sure as hell wasn't his best friend. He barely talked to him anymore, much less considered him a friend. Craig was the only person he ever hung out with anymore. So yeah, Craig was his best friend.

Jesus, this was so messed up, thinking about it. Or maybe it wasn't. Maybe it was normal. Kenny didn't know.

Bringing him from his thoughts, Craig stirred next to him, making Kenny's heart beat with nerves. He worried Craig would hear it and it made him even more nervous. That was stupid. He was stupid. Everything about this was stupid. God, Kenny could be so embarrassing, even to himself.

"Ugh, god…" Craig's voice was still deep and hoarse from the night before, and he sat up away from Kenny, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

Still nervous, but wanting to say something, Kenny swallowed before speaking. "Hi, um. Good morning."

"Hey."

Well, that was pointless. Craig never was one for much conversation. In fact, when he started drinking last night, that was the most Kenny had ever heard him talk before. Biting his lip, Kenny tried again. "Did you sleep okay?" He sat up in bed with Craig, who was now rubbing the side of his temples. He looked like he still felt a little sick.

"Yeah."

Holy god, this was almost frustrating, but Kenny knew he was like this. He'd been hanging out with him for months, this was just the way Craig was, but he still wanted some kind of confirmation at least. Some kind of affirmation that this was okay? That Craig was okay? Something.

Craig stood from the bed, mumbling complaints as he did. "Can I borrow your toothbrush or something? I feel so gross. And I need to pee."

"Oh, yeah, uh." Kenny stood from his bed too, leading Craig from his bedroom once he unlocked his door and down the hall to the bathroom. "Right here. Mine's the blue brush."

"Thanks." He kept rubbing his eyes, which were a little bloodshot now, and left Kenny alone in the hall as he made his way into the bathroom.

This wasn't getting him anywhere. Kenny felt embarrassed, going back to his bedroom to sit on his bed. He was still confused. Why wasn't Craig saying anything about last night? Did he even remember? If he didn't, what was Kenny supposed to do? This was stressing him out. It would be too embarrassing to ask straight up if Craig remembered kissing him, but Kenny wasn't sure what else he could do. When he got back, he was just going to have to bite the bullet and swallow his shame long enough to ask.

It wasn't long before he heard the toilet flush, the faucet run, and then Craig emerged back into his room, now wearing a pair of black-rimmed glasses. Kenny jumped at the sight of them, not expecting it. "I didn't know you wore glasses."

"Contacts. Slept in them last night, now my eyes are sore as hell."

"Oh." Kenny had to contain the smile starting to form, because Craig looked so ridiculous with glasses. No wonder he wore contacts. With that stupid Elvis hair he tried to pull off, and the glasses, all Kenny could think was nerd. In an endearing way though. He wanted to call him a nerd, but figured it would gauge no reaction, and in the end, he let out a sigh. Okay, Kenny tried breathing and calming down, trying to pace himself. Breathe, in and out, in and out, in— "So…" He trailed off, trying to figure out how to word his question. Awkward, holy hell, this was awkward. Why the hell was he acting this way? It was because he liked him.

Without waiting for him to try and blubber his question out, Craig moved over to the bed, settling down beside him, and Kenny could feel his chest tighten. God damn, they had made out just last night, just for him to be a nervous wreck around him. Seriously, what?

"Are you okay?" When Craig spoke, Kenny could smell mouth wash, he was so close to him. Craig was surprisingly fickle about being clean.

Nervous again, Kenny's voice shook when he answered. "Y-yeah, man."

"You looked pretty scared last night. Never seen you look that way before."

Kenny tried to laugh, but it came out choked. "I-" What was he supposed to say to that one?

"Yeah, it's okay." And he gripped Kenny's sleeve, laying his head onto his shoulder, which Kenny found comfort in, but still, he was nervous, not sure how to react. "I get it. Parents are shitty. Sorry you have to deal with that."

Awkwardly (could he be anything else but?), Kenny reached up while Craig's head was still resting on his shoulder and ran his hand through the back of his hair, not sure if it was right. Would he freak out again? The memory of him screaming no at him with that look of horror ran through his mind. He didn't want Craig to be scared of him. He didn't want anything like that happening again. What was right? What were the boundaries? Was Kenny pushing things? He was so confused and unsure of what to do.

"Um, about last night."

Oh thank god, Craig was bringing it up. Kenny didn't think his chest could get any tighter with worry. Craig knew he was worried about it, he knew. He was empathetic, and smart, even if he himself was hard to read, he knew how people felt.

"I don't mind making out or things like that, but…" His voice was hoarse, cracking as he trailed off, and Kenny waited patiently for him to continue. "Um, I'm kind of nervous about the whole sex thing. So don't do that again, okay? Like, it's fine, you didn't know, but the thought of someone seeing me naked makes me sick. I don't care who it is. Is that okay with you?"

Stuck staring at his floor, his fingers still going through Craig's hair, Kenny had to take a second to process what Craig was telling him. He didn't know he was like that, and he felt like a giant ass for trying to have sex with him while he was drunk. God, if Craig had punched him in the face, he would have deserved it. "Yeah, it's fine. I don't care, I don't need sex to survive. I'm…" And the ultimate punch into his own gut. "I'm sorry for doing that to you." He felt guilty again. Dammit. At least Craig gripping at his sleeve with his head on his shoulder was reassuring. He didn't hate him.

"It's fine, just don't do it anymore."

"Okay."

Now what? Kenny had only been in a few 'relationships', if he could even call them that, that lasted maybe a week when he was little, but this felt different. He never really was one for relationships, thinking they were pointless, because he never really found a person he liked. But-

He finally liked someone, he enjoyed someone's company, he had fun with someone, and it felt overwhelming. Like maybe this was the way things weren't supposed to actually be. Kenny had never really had feelings for someone else before, and he wasn't sure what to do with himself. Yeah, there were people he'd given second glances to. Maybe that girl was cute, or that guy was hot, but he'd actually spent time with Craig and got to know him as a person, and he liked that person.

Oh god, Kenny couldn't breathe. Where was the flirting? The batting eyelashes and sex jokes? He couldn't do that with Craig. Not that he would react to it, but he was always shaking around him, too nervous to make jokes, because he wanted to be serious, to be taken seriously, to be seen as an intellectual and not some idiotic sex fiend maybe. He wanted Craig to like him too, and to find out he did, he couldn't breathe.

Someone was there, on his bed, holding onto him, clinging to his sleeve like they didn't want him to leave, and he couldn't believe it. He was wanted. He felt wanted. Had he finally died for real? This couldn't be real. Kenny reached up to grab at Craig's sweatshirt and squeezed it between his fingers. This couldn't be real? He was shaking. Somebody wanted him.

When Kenny spoke, his voice was still shaking, and he stuttered. "I-I-I'm not sure what to do."

"That's okay." It always surprised him now nice Craig could be. People always assumed he was an asshole because he never really talked, or he was mostly unresponsive when spoken to, but the truth was that he understood a lot. Just because he didn't talk didn't mean he had a stick up his ass. He got it, he got people, he understood, he just expressed it differently. Craig's expression was mostly through action, not words.

Kenny wanted to say something, because he was nervous, his voice still shaking, but he felt stupid not saying anything to begin with. "T-to be honest, you look neat with glasses. I never knew you wore glasses. When'd you get glasses?"

"Neat?"

Fuck, that was stupid. "I mean, god dammit-" The heat was coming to his face and his hand stopped going through Craig's hair. Craig let out a small laugh, which made Kenny kind of inwardly kill himself over the fact Craig was laughing at him, but also over the fact Craig was laughing to begin with. He never laughed.

"I got them when I was twelve, but I got contacts immediately afterward. I already had greasy hair and acne; putting glasses in the mix was social suicide."

"People made fun of you?"

Craig leaned off him, looking directly into his face now. "Everyone gets made fun of."

"Well, yeah, but I didn't think you would care what people thought of you."

"Not anymore. I could give less of a shit what those dickwipes think of me now, but when I was younger, I had feelings?"

Again, Kenny could feel the blush go to his face. "I didn't mean it that way."

"I know. But, people tend to take one look at you and they think just from the way you look, they know every god damn thing about you. You wear nice clothes, you must be rich. Your hair is greasy, you must never wash it, or you must be nasty. You have acne, you must be a gross fuck. People are always going to be judgmental fucks, because it's in our nature to judge people right?"

Kenny was feeling overwhelmed again, not expecting Craig to go on a rant. He just nodded in agreement, not sure what to do, watching as Craig stood up from the bed, pushing his glasses up.

"Is it okay if I use your shower? I feel gross."

Of all the times for his poorness to show through, Kenny felt ashamed when he answered. "You can, but we probably won't have any hot water. It's not really fun to bathe when the temperature is three degrees and so is your shower water."

"Okay, let's go to my house then. I want to play Mario Kart anyway."

Were they really going to walk over two blocks just so Craig could take a hot shower and play video games? Apparently so. Offering his hand to Kenny who took it, Craig pulled Kenny off the bed, who was left to follow behind him after he'd dug his hands into his pockets for warmth once they stepped outside into the freezing cold.

Even though it was snowing on them as they walked, and was freezing cold, as it always was, Kenny felt a small sliver of comfort to it. With Craig beside him, silent as they walked, he was comforted. This all still felt too good to be real, but it was happening. It was happening.

Kenny had a boyfriend, someone he liked, and someone who liked him.