chapter 19

She'd been driving for an hour. The windshield wipers desperately tried to clear the window of water, but it was futile. The rain didn't stop and neither did her tears and she knew it wasn't safe to drive but just couldn't stop. Driving on gravel in the rain and at night, and while so emotional was asking for trouble and she wasn't at all surprised when she drifted and the tail end of the Tumbler slammed into a tree with a large crash, jerking her body to the side. She snapped back against the chair and groaned, dropping her head to the steering wheel, staying like that for who knows how long, tears racking her body. She still couldn't decide what it was she was feeling. It wasn't just sadness, it was just emotion. Raw and angry emotion, threatening to consume her completely and tear her apart. The feelings she had for Bruce were getting stronger and stronger every single day and she knew that he felt the same way. Every time they had sex it changed, became more personal, more intimate and more intense. It wasn't sex, it was something more, something completely different that she'd never even experienced with Dick.

Guilt was another emotion, but not the strongest in a long shot. Barbara wouldn't lie to herself. Throughout the entire ordeal, the thing that made it so good, so sexy was the thrill of being caught, the adrenaline. Even now, there was some part of her, the part that was still coming down from her delicious orgasm was buzzing with excitement. The rush of energy she'd gotten during the fight and speeding down the road were making her wet again, a fact that made her distinctly uncomfortable with herself and she squeezed her legs together.

The last and one of the strongest things she was feeling was confusion. Everything had happened so fast, in less than two weeks. The entire Family was ruined, crashing down and going up in flames. Robin and Bruce's relationship was fucked for eternity. This wasn't something you could forgive and forget or overlook. Her and Dick would never be the same and what would the Family be without Robin? Just Batman and Batgirl? It was wrong. They needed Robin. He had been a part of the group long before her and they'd brought her in with welcome arms. How could she let him leave? Would he leave, or would he expect her to, just forcing himself to work with Batman? She slammed her forehead on the wheel again and again and released an ear piercing scream from deep in her throat which promptly turned into a violent shriek when a loud thump hit the window. She turned her head and wiped her eyes, looking at the shape on the other side of the glass. "Barbara!" The figure screamed in a feminine voice. She blinked and threw the door open, coming face to face with a rain soaked Catwoman.

"Selina?" She yelled. "How'd you get away from Crane? Where… Where did you come from?"

"I'll explain in a minute, just let me in the car."

"Get in," Barbara said, pulling her door closed. Selina quickly crawled into the other side and shook her head to dry her off. "What happened?"

"I could ask the same thing of you," Catwoman said, looking at her with a strange expression. "The Batmobile is slammed into a tree in the middle of a huge thunderstorm and you've been crying. Not to mention this car smells like sex." Her voice was dry and clipped and Barbara knew that Selina didn't like her as much as she didn't like Selina. "Get in a fight with the boyfriend?"

"Shut up, Selina," Batgirl muttered, putting the car in drive.

"Oh, sorry, I should clarify which one I'm talking about…"

"Shut up!" Barbara yelled. "Either be quiet or get out of the car!" Selina glared at her but settled back into her seat without another word. She pulled back onto the road and then clicked the button for the Cave on the screen, giving her directions back home. It was fifteen minutes later when Barbara broke the quiet. "Robin found out about Bruce and I," She said quietly. Selina looked at her curiously, eyes narrowed, but listened in silence. "They were fighting, Dick was… Hitting him. I tried to stop it but they don't listen to me. I just left. I've been driving in random directions for the past hour."

Selina swallowed, licking her lips. There was a pause and she said, "Crane sprayed me with his toxin when he put me in the van. Let it drive me crazy for a few hours before threatening me and releasing me outside after knocking me out again."

"Why'd he let you go?"

"I still owe him," She said quietly, rubbing her head.

"You're going to pay him back?"

Selina snapped at her. "I don't have a choice."

"Oh? Why's that?"

She sighed and rested her forehead against the frosty window. "If I tell you, he'll just kill me too."

"Too?"

Selina closed her eyes. "Please just take me to my apartment. Or at least into the city." At that, Barbara slammed on the brakes and looked at Catwoman with an angry glare.

"I could throw you out right now and make your ass walk home in the freezing rain. Don't think I won't." Selina shook her head and put her hands up.

"Okay," She said. "I just… Even if I do talk about it… You guys won't be able to stop him," She breathed. "It's foolproof."

"What's foolproof?"

"Everyone in Gotham is infected with that stuff!" Selina shouted. "You, me, Bruce... He said if I get the money to him, he'll inoculate me. Those bodies you found? That'll be everyone in Gotham in three days."

Barbara stared in silence out the window. "You're serious," She breathed. Selina just nodded slowly. "Jesus Christ. This is extreme, even for Crane. We've got to get to the Cave, pronto."

When the two finally got back to Wayne Manor and into the Cave, Barbara looked around to find Bruce and though she felt a despondency in response to his absence, she ignored it and made her way straight to the computer where a sample of the virus strain was analyzed and waiting. "I need to send an anonymous tip to my dad. We need to quarantine the city. If anyone leaves town while infected, they could spread it. We don't want this leaving Gotham. This could be the next big epidemic," She said, grabbing the disposable phone beside her and typing in her father's phone number. She quickly typed quarantine Gotham, the Scarecrow has us all infected. we have three days. and sent it, throwing the phone back onto the desk.

"The people that were exposed to it first thing after his escape will probably survive. The more it grows, the worse it gets and that's when the people start dropping like flies," Selina said, looking at the screen where the tracked stages were shown side by side. The brain scans of the victims they'd found were all completely different. The first was a concentrated dose of the toxin, normal to Crane's usual style. The next had a slightly larger infected area and by the fourth body the entire brain was glowing bright red.

"Do you have to be so morbid?" Barbara asked under her breath. It was obvious to the both of them how much they didn't want to be working together. Both of them were tense, jaws tight and there was a good four to five feet between them at all times. They both looked over when they heard the door slamming and Barbara felt nauseous when Dick walked in. He paused when he saw her and glared but said nothing. He was grabbing a bag that he'd left on the floor and Barbara swallowed loudly when she saw outside the door that a large duffel bag was waiting. He was packing. "Dick," She said quietly, standing up and walking towards him.

"Save it, Babs," He said dryly. "I'm really not in the mood to hear anything you have to say."

"Please, Dick, just listen."

"I came out there to make sure you guys were okay. The car hadn't moved in a while. I get out there and that's what I see? Really? I saw you. There's no apology or explanation that will fix this."

"I know," She finally said. She sighed and then continued. "This is bigger than us, though. You can't leave Gotham. Crane has us all infected with the toxin. In three days it's going to set off and we're all going to die unless we get a vaccine."

He paused for just a moment, his jaw flexing. He thought about it for a moment, trying to decide what to say and then finally he shook his head as he slung the backpack over his shoulder. "Not my problem. Not anymore."

"You've been Robin for years and now you're just going to drop your responsibilities?" She asked, outraged. She understood his pain, his anger, but this was completely irrational. Everyone would die, and he didn't care at all.

"Why should I care, Barbara?" He whispered to her though it came out like a hiss. "You and Bruce were my entire family and now I don't even have that." Her chest tightened in response. This wasn't just about being bitter. He didn't want to live?

"Dick," She breathed, reaching out to touch his arm. "Please don't do this."

He shrugged her off. "You're going to pretend like you care?"

"It isn't pretending. We've been together for a long time now… I haven't just stopped loving you."

"But you aren't in love with me," He clarified. "I'm leaving, Barb. Don't bother trying to convince me to stay." She dropped her hand to her side, her lips closing into a grim line. She watched him leave without another word and the moment the door closed she shook her head to herself and turned around. Selina watched in silence, her expression slightly smug. Barbara scowled at her.

"Don't look so pleased with yourself," She muttered. Selina cleared her throat, standing there quietly while Barbara clicked away on the keyboard of the computer. She was sending out an email to Lucius, letting him know to get prepared for mass production of the vaccination. The silence was terribly uncomfortably, and Selina eventually decided to end it.

"So…" She said, scratching at her neck uncomfortably. "When did it start with the whole… Bruce and you thing?" Barbara's jaw flexed angrily.

"I don't think we need to be talking about that, Cat," She said.

"I'm just curious," She said defensively. Barbara sighed loudly.

"Just about three days before you came back into town." Her voice conveyed all her anger and irritation. "Thanks for that, by the way."

Selina snorted. "Why can you sleep with two guys and Bruce can't sleep with me? Isn't that a little selfish?"

"It's different!" Barbara shouted, slamming her hands down on the desk. Finally she swallowed and closed her eyes. "But I don't want that with Dick anymore. It's… More than sex," She whispered. Selina stared at her with narrowed eyes for a few minutes and then finally looked away, dropping the entire thing and leaving it alone. Barbara felt sick talking about this with her. She felt sick talking about it with anyone. It was so strange that you could feel so strongly about someone and your stomach still twist at the sound of their name. She breathed in deep for a few moments to collect herself. "There," She said. "Lucius knows. He'll be ready by tonight, even. You need to get that money, asap." Selina nodded, grabbing her cowl.

"Give me a ride?"

"I'm not taking a chance of getting pegged as part of a jewel heist," Babs said, shaking her head.

Selina nodded, frowning. "Alright, fine. I'm borrowing one of the cars, then."

"Park a few blocks away," Barbara warned as Selina grabbed a pair of keys and headed out to the garage. Barbara sighed when she was finally alone. She'd been doing a lot of that lately, to the point where she cursed herself internally when she did. Staring at the screen of her sent email, she ran her fingers through her soaking wet hair and shivered, the cold of the rain finally setting in. Tired and weak, she stood up and made her way into the house and up to Bruce's shower. The house was dark and quiet. Alfred would be asleep by now. She made sure her footsteps weren't too loud and when she got upstairs she shut the door and leaned against it, releasing a harsh breath. She felt more secure in this bedroom. It smelled like Bruce, felt like him. His presence was strong and comforting. Barbara stripped herself of her cowl and gloves as she walked into the large bathroom and set them down on the counter, rubbing at her face with her bare hands, waking herself up. Once she was naked she turned the shower up till it was scalding. She sat herself down on the floor, just letting the water cascade down and soak into her hair and skin, warming her up. She was still shivering but she no longer thought that it was from the cold. Barbara pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her forehead on them, focusing on breathing in and out.

She kept wondering where Bruce was.

Had he made it home? What if he was hurt?

Why had she just left him there?

She felt even worse about that than anything else. She sniffled despondently. I'm sorry, Bruce. She looked up at the shower caddy and stood, grabbing the body wash and started to lather it into her skin, breathing in deeply. It smelled like him. She had only just rinsed all the bubbles off when the door opened slowly and she looked up with wide eyes, her heart jumping when she saw that it was him and then sinking when she saw how exhausted he looked, his hair soaked. He'd taken off his cowl and it laid on the sink beside her things. "Bruce," She breathed.

"Glad to see you made it home," He said. She smiled at him weakly.

"I'm sorry I left you there," She told him. Her arms were crossed over her breasts, feeling self conscious for some reason. He took off his gloves as she spoke and once his hand was bare he reached into the shower and stroked her cheek.

"Understandable. I would've done the same to you," He said with a grin.

She snorted. "Thanks, Bruce."

He smiled, his face relaxing. "Mind if I join?" He finally asked, cocking his head to the side. He didn't leer at her or have any implications in his voice, just honestly wanted to be with her and warmth filled her belly. She nodded into the shower and he smiled again, closing the door as he began to strip off his armor. She watched him through the glass, admiring the muscles in his back, the way he moved. When he climbed in, he stood behind her and wrapped his strong arms around her waist, holding her slick body against his, resting his face in her hair. She sighed, closing her eyes, her fingers sliding across his forearms. Even after everything, the tension burned like a raging fire between them and Barbara shivered, pushing her bottom into his groin. "Babs," He breathed. "We don't have to…" he trailed off but she pushed against him again and cut him off.

"Please," She said. "I need this." It was true, too. Her nerves were shot and the moment Bruce touched her she felt at ease. She knew that if he took her, all her troubles would go away, at least for a little while. Bruce was a safe place. Nothing mattered other than them when they were joined as one. It was her and Bruce and no one else. She let her head roll back against his shoulder. "Don't you want me?"

He looked down at her, staring into her eyes for a few moments, flickering between each eye and then finally he leaned down and pressed his mouth to hers, kissing her sweetly and slowly, turning her body to face him. She relaxed into his arms, the rigid feeling of her muscles disappearing and a moan escaped her mouth without permission. "You keep asking me that," He whispered when he pulled away and his thumb stroked her bottom lip sensually, wiping a droplet of water from the pink flesh. "The answer will always be the same."

"Promise me," She said, blinking up at him.

"Barbara Gordon," He said firmly, grabbing her by the bottom and hoisting her legs over his hips. As he walked her to the shower wall, he said, "I've wanted you for God knows how long, and now that I have you, I have no intention of ever letting you slip through my fingers. You hear me?" He asked, squeezing her flesh in his fingertips. Her arms were thrown around his neck and in this position, she was above him, looking down into those dark, intense eyes. She nodded fervently and he buried his face into the crook of her neck. He kissed her neck sweetly as he let the head of his cock slide down her folds. He was already hard, solid just from the knowledge that she was here, wanting him, needing him after everything that had happened in the past few hours. The wet tip, lubricated with his precome and her juices, slid down past her pussy and came to a stop at the tight back entrance or her asshole. She gasped, arms tensing around him. Bruce grabbed his cock, moving it to her pussy but she stopped him with one touch of her arm on his wrist.

"No," She breathed. "Take me there." He looked at her with a lowered brow, impressed with her audacity. As many times as the thought of him sliding in and out of her tight back hole had plagued his thoughts, he had never asked for fear of scaring her off. And now? Here she was, soaking wet for him and asking, no, telling him to put his cock up inside of her unused hole. He blinked and focused in on her face.

"You want me to fuck your ass?" He asked breathlessly, letting his cock slide back down till it touched her sensitive rosebud and felt it clench shut above him.

"Do it," She told him, letting her hole rub against him until he shivered and another drip of precome exited his weeping cock. She felt the warm, sticky liquid against her and her ass clenched shut again in sync with her pussy, wanting him. He held her still with one hand and used the other to slide down, stroking her pussy for all she was worth and making her exhale loudly. He refused to look away for even a moment. His fingers, now coated in her wet warmth, slid back to where his member awaited impatiently. He rubbed into her, stroking it with his glistening fingertips until it spread open for them and one long digit slid in. Barbara grunted, shivering slightly from nerves or pleasure. Bruce couldn't tell, but either way, the sight was painfully erotic and he had to keep himself from bucking up and into her by nibbling on her still sore nipple. He had bruised it when he made it bleed the other night and it ached when his teeth touched it but Barbara welcomed it, for some ungodly reason. She welcomed it just like she welcomed the pain of his finger stroking the walls of her back hole, fingering her depths and making her feel a sense of completion and fullness she'd never known.

What would it feel like when his cock was buried in her?

His finger already seemed to stretch her beyond her limits and she knew from experience how thick his cock was, how big it felt when it was slamming into her pussy. Her heart raced.

A second finger joined the first and she groaned, her fingers tangling into his hair as he opened her up to him. He continued to finger her until finally, she relaxed against him and he knew it was time. In a split second, he decided to drop her legs from his hips, set her down and turn her around. She looked at him from over her shoulder and gasped when she felt him push against her, his cock between her cheeks, pushing her into the wall. Her hands steadied herself against the tile, looking behind her to watch his face as he positioned his cock to take her. The velvety soft head of his rod stroked the tight muscle and it spasmed in response but he pushed ahead anyway, getting half the head inside. She squeezed down on him, making an electric shock of intense pain and pleasure course through him. "Oh, god," He groaned, already weakened by just the feeling of his head being encased by that delicious warmth, the tightest thing he'd ever fucked. "Barbara, I… Ah, fuck…" Her own eyes were open wide at the intense feeling but she somehow was coping with it.

She was gritting her teeth but in response to his pleased moans she forced herself to relax and the rest of his head slid in and they both exhaled in relief. "Nnn…. You're so big," She breathed.

"You're so tight," He corrected. Unable to resist, he pulled her hips slightly backwards and onto him so that her torso and breasts were pressed against the wall and her back arched, her ass out and ready for him. As he did so, her walls spread around his aching length and she groaned in pain, feeling as though she was tearing on the inside.

"Bruce!" She gasped. "Bruce, oh…"

"Shh," He cooed. "I'll make it better, baby." She shivered in his arms but trusted him and as his cock continued to slide into her, his fingers stroked her sensitive clit slowly to an addictive rhythm that had her vibrating with pleasure and both of her holes clenching and unclenching, juices leaking from her empty cunt. He rubbed the juices into her ass, on his cock so that when he slipped back out and in that it wouldn't be as difficult. As she loosened up around him she began to moan in pleasure, finding the delectable feelings of bliss hidden away inside the pain. She forced herself to focus on that little spark and soon the sharp ache began to fade away.

Or she was beginning to like it.

Either way, she was now bucking her hips backwards slightly, her mouth open and wanting as she gasped while Bruce pulled out again slowly and then back in. His fingers on her clit made her shiver with lust, the feeling so intense that it made her body ache, wanting so desperately to have him pound her into the wall then and there but knowing that her body wouldn't be able to handle that just yet. His hot breath on her cheek kept her sane, and to distract herself from her unquenchable need, she buried her fingernails of one hand into the flesh of his forearm, the one that reached around her and stroked her clit, and his hips thrusted up into hers with a grunt in response, causing her to rake them down the skin wickedly. It was a vicious cycle of pain and pleasure and it was absolutely addictive. The deeper he got, the better it felt and eventually a chorus of high pitched, needy whimpers and moans were ringing in his ears. He pushed in again and then pulled back, slowly adjusting her to the width of him inside her back entrance. Bruce felt it once she started to give, to relax and let him guide her and once she did he sped up his pace, bringing them both up and in a flurry of sensation, their orgasms close enough to taste. She hissed loudly when he pinched her nipple, squeezing it and rolling it in rough fingertips and the sound made his eyes flutter closed. Passionately, he dropped his hands back to her hips and focused solely on holding her still, driving each blow home and making her feel each and every one. Every nerve vibrated with the intensity of the feeling and soon she was flying high, the climax about to swallow her up. It hurts but it feels so good. Just like him. It's all so wrong and that's the best part. I can't stay away. It feels good. How is that possible? She didn't have time to figure up an answer before her body tensed and began to shudder violently in his arms, making him grunt as she bucked back against him. He pushed her harder into the wall, keeping her upright and started to fuck her harder. She clenched down painfully hard around him, spasming as she came and she dropped her head to the tiles, staring at the ground with blurry eyes.

It took her a few blissful minutes to comprehend that he was still pounding away inside of her, making the ache flare up again but in a way that sent tingles down her spine and straight to her hypersensitive clit. "Babs," Bruce groaned. "Holy hell."

She pushed against the wall to look around at him, catching his gaze, staring into his dark eyes. Water droplets clung to his hair and eyelashes, black from the leftover eye makeup he wore beneath the cowl. His mouth was open, gasping, and he didn't still his hips for even a moment. Barbara desperately wanted to kiss him, wanted to taste his sweat and spit but settled for gasping in the air around them, laced with his flavor and the smell of sex. It all felt so good, so terribly, sinfully good that Bruce's thrusts kicked into overdrive, his fingernails digging so hard into the flesh of her bottom that she was sure he'd break the skin as he pounded her, driving himself into her depths over and over again. The orgasm hit him good and hard and his warm come filled her up, making her gasp with the strange new feeling of it being there and she shuddered, her tight hole closing around him even further, desperate to drain him of everything he could give her. His face was red by the time that he'd finished, his cock twitching inside of her, exhausted and empty.

After a moment of catching his breath, he slid out, making her cringe in unexpected discomfort and leaned back against the wall as he panted. Barbara leaned against the wall and shut her eyes, breathing in with harsh shudders as she recovered. Slowly, she cracked her eyes open the slightest bit and caught Bruce's gaze from where he was standing across the shower, arms crossed over his chest, flaccid cock lying against his thigh, flushed and beautiful and looking like he had just gotten thoroughly fucked. Barbara smiled at him, her lips curving up at the corners lazily and he chuckled. "What am I going to do with you, Gordon?"

"You can start off by not calling me Gordon," She said with a grin. He chuckled, sliding down the wall until he was sitting against the tile, knees up. He waved her over and with a slight limp and a flinch, she made her way over to him, grateful for the spray of water to refresh her. She sat on the porcelain ground between his legs and laid her head against his chest, her eyes closing. She focused deeply on breathing in and out as the hot water splashed against her like it was thrown by an ocean breeze and not bouncing off their legs. His fingers slid through her hair, undoing tangles, twirling it about and out of her face. Warm kisses touched the top of her head and then her temple to her ear.

When he spoke, the words were completely unexpected. "I'm sorry I did this to you," He told her, his voice tight.

"What?" She whispered.

"I'm sorry," He said again. "This whole thing. It's my fault."

"Bruce," She breathed, rolling her head up to look at him with a frown. "Don't add this to the weight you carry." He shook his head, closing his eyes.

"If I hadn't kissed you, or had listened when you pushed me away then you and Dick would still be together, we would all be fine."

"That isn't true," She said loudly, staring at him with wide eyes. Then her face fell and she said, "Crane has us all infected. We have three days. No one will be fine. Not me, not you, not Dick." His eyes widened and he tensed against her.

"What?" He asked breathlessly.

She nodded. "I found Selina. She's going to get the money to pay him back. When she does, he'll give her the vaccine. We have to get Lucius to make more of it and start distributing it at hospitals. Otherwise, the same thing that happened to those bodies will happen to everyone."

"Does Dick know?" He asked, suddenly terrified. "I saw the bike was gone, his stuff… If he's leaving the city…" Terror filled his dark eyes. No matter what happened, Dick was still his family. He loved him.

"I tried to stop him," She said. "He wouldn't listen. He wants to die."

"We have to find him," He said. The more upset he got, the deeper his fingers dug into her hips, bruising her. She flinched but said nothing.

"I don't know where he went," She said, shaking her head, desperate and panicked.

He looked down into her eyes and took her face by the chin. "We'll find him, Barbara. We'll stop Crane. I promise." She nodded, putting her faith in him and he kissed her roughly before lifting his head. "Where's Selina?"

"The museum," Barbara said. He grabbed her hands.

"We've got to go. How long do we have?"

"Three days," She said. "But the clock is ticking."

He nodded. "Come on. We need to get that cure."

Nice, long chapter, am I right? Filled with excitement and emotions and delicious sex. I spent like four days trying to get that scene right guys, so hopefully it didn't disappoint. To those of you who aren't into that kinda smut, SORRY but I am. :) How are you guys doing today? I for one am finally getting over my sickness *she says and then coughs again*, but hey, it's a work in progress. Now, to the fun part:

Batgirl4ever: First off, it isn't all fanfiction writers... Second, you're on , so you are part of the group you're insulting. XD Fucking idiot. If you get on here and insult people that like fanfiction or write fanfiction, you're completely contradicting yourself. Third, just because we don't have the same boring, vanilla fetishes as you (who probably thinks that your average sixteen your old white boy in a snapback is hot HA) doesn't mean we're creepy. It means we have exciting sex lives, unlike you, who is probably a sad little virgin, because once again, boring, vanilla sex. So next time, do yourself a favor, and don't comment on my stuff. Thanks, sweetie.

Anonymous 01: When I first started writing this, I planned on it being a one shot. As I went, I brainstormed a little, but I just recently came up with the Catwoman/Crane plan and figured out exactly what Crane was doing. I usually have the chapters written a day or two in advance, just so I'm certain I won't get too behind on updating. I like to have updates out every three to four days, and if it takes any longer than that, I feel like I'm slacking! So the answer I suppose, would be kind of. I don't write the entire story out, or the entire plan, but I do make sure I'm a little bit ahead of myself. :)

Mrs. Wayne: I have some ideas for the final chapters. ;) In my head, they're awesome, I'm just praying that putting them down on paper will be the same way! :) Sometimes I hate leaving you guys with cliffhangers, but usually your reactions are too much fun, and I can't resist! :D

RED: It bothers me a lot that Penny Pax doesn't have red hair, like, that's Barbara's one big defining feature, but I really just love the scene where Joker fucks her... I almost never watch porn because there isn't any Joker porn and usually 'normal' stuff doesn't get me off, so being able to see a live action Joker (even if he isn't actually Mister J) is like... drool. And I'll most definitely check those out, I don't know about everybody else, but I will! :)

deadpool: You know I will, if it gains me winks from you!

Thank you for the reviews, like always, my loves. I'll see you again soon!