Chapter Two: Fate's Apologies
I'm just a girl, what's my destiny?
what I've succumbed to is making me numb
I'm just a girl, my apologies
what I've become is so burdensome
-G. Stefani & T. Dumont
"Ruto-chan!" The call comes from her left, and Naruto tiredly picks up her body from its resting position against the wall and jogs down the hallway. "Ruto-chan, come take the laundry to the cleaners," Mae says as soon as Naruto bursts in through the door. "And Saeki-chan wants you, too."
Naruto takes the sheets, which are stained with sweat and things she doesn't want to think about, folds them up wordlessly so all that's showing is clean, and heads out the door. "Stop by after you're done," Mae calls after her, more softly. "I don't have any customers for a while, so we can sit and rest on a bed, m'kay?" It's Mae's kind of mercy, Naruto knows, and she's grateful for it.
"Okay," she agrees. And then she runs next door. Saeki is sitting, knees drawn up to her chest as usual, on the elaborate bedspread. "Saeki-san, do you want some coffee like usual?"
Saeki glances up, for a moment unguarded and empty. Then her face fills with a smile, transforming the sad lines etched in her skin to happy ones, bright and overwhelming and beautiful.
And fake.
"That would be lovely, dear," she says. "Add an extra sugar today, okay?" And Naruto knows it's a bad day already for Saeki, to need that extra sugar, though it's not evening yet and in the evening at the House, things only get worse.
Coffee is a couple doors over at the salon. She'll have to go out of the House, then, because the House only has tea.
Naruto was almost seven when she got here, and they didn't send her around on the streets – she didn't want to go either, because Nonoko had told her to hide and where better than the House, where even things like real names and your story are kept secret? It's been a year, and she feels safer and knows more, so she runs errands now.
Since she has to go out, Naruto stops by the other rooms on her way to the door. The girls are all mostly getting ready for the evening, and some of them are out shopping or at the salon. Tasha has some clothes to run down, and Naruto takes that and a basket to hold the laundry in. There will be more in the morning, after the night, but Naruto can't carry more than two rooms' worth of laundry anyway.
She runs out the door, basket between her right arm and hip. The street is mostly empty under the scorching Konoha sun, and the very air seems to waver in the heat of the day. The cleaners are only a block away, but it feels like miles. Her feet already blister in her 'pretty' little shoes.
Naruto can't wait until night, when the red lanterns light up the street and the foggy air and the whole sky turns crimson, when the older sisters go to work and she goes to sleep.
The cleaner is dozing behind the desk, eyes closed. The only sign that he is awake is his hand, which fans his face lethargically with a rice paper fan. Naruto puts the basket on the ground and turns the handle. Holding the door open with her foot, she bends down to pick up the basket and walks in, staggering.
The bell attached to the door tinkles, and the man wakes up. He startles for a moment, looking out over Naruto's head, but his sight shifts downward and he sees her. "Ah! You'll be Velvet's girl, right?" Naruto nods affirmation, and he hums. "What's your name? Oh, you can put the basket right on the floor, darling. Ruto…Rutoshi-chan, right?"
Naruto nods again. In the Velvet House, where even names are secret, she goes by a fake name. It is close to her real name, because all the girls started calling her nicknames for her real name before they got together and formally made up a stage name for her.
Naruto drops the basket to the floor. The man is still fanning himself, looking dazed, so Naruto prompts, "Regular clean, please." He looks up, eases out of his chair, and walks over.
"It's damn hot," he mutters, ruffling through the bed sheets. "A right damn hot day. I'll be having it done in a jiffy. You wanna stay or pick it up in, say, fifteen minutes?" He dumps them from Naruto's basket to one of his own.
"I'm going to get coffee for Saeki-san," Naruto says, just like Mae taught her. Using 'going to' instead of 'have to' to sound happy and not lazy, and adding a respectful honorific even though things like politeness don't go far at the House, unless it's a persona.
"You're a right good girl," the man says. "If only my daughter was like you." He frowns after saying it, as if suddenly the thought of his daughter working in a whorehouse disturbs him. But it passes and he is smiling again because, then again, in the red light district the Velvet House is a very respectable establishment indeed. He ruffles the sheets again, and then nudges Naruto's basket toward her. "I'll just be charging the pay to Velvet. You're right regular customers, anyhow. The boss shouldn't mind."
Naruto nods again. "She usually comes around to collect every month or so." Aya-san is usually manning the desk when Naruto comes, though some days it's this man, who is altogether forgetful and not very talkative.
She stands there for another awkward moment before he shakes himself and waves a hand at her. "Run along now, you got coffee to fetch for that nice lady, eh?" Naruto turns on her heel and walks out of the shop just like Saeki taught her, quietly, on the balls of her feet, ready to start running at any moment. And as soon as she is out the door, she is sprinting toward the cool air of the coffee shop, skirts gathered in hands, hair flying askew toward the sky.
An hour later and two round trips from the coffee shop to the House to the cleaner and back to the House again, Naruto collapses on Mae's bed. She loves Mae's bed. The girls have raised beds, with plump mattresses and curtains and velvet spreads, but Naruto and the other live-in helpers have normal futons, which are not nearly as soft or luxurious.
Mae laughs softly, looking up from her tea. "All done, Ruto-chan?"
"Yeah," Naruto grunts.
"Mind your speaking!" Mae scolds, softly. Naruto looks up and realizes that Mae is already in House mode. Her face is done, her clothes are the shiny, gaudy House clothing, and she is drinking tea. Most of the girls prefer coffee, but the Velvet House insists on tea when the guests come, because it's more 'elegant'.
"Yes, I am finished," Naruto repeats in a mockingly dainty voice. Mae sighs a little, but Naruto knows she isn't angry. Or even if she is, she won't show it now, not with her House face on. When Mae just continues sipping delicately at her tea, Naruto turns her head back up to stare at the intricate details of Mae's bed curtains.
When Mae speaks again, her voice is soft and affectionate, and it hits harder than anger would have. "You know, a mask will save your life someday. And until then, you'll have to watch carefully to see what other people do so that when the time comes, you have the right mask for the saving."
Sometimes, Naruto is hit by how, even though it's annoying and painful and a lot of work, everything Mae and Saeki and some of the other girls teach her is taught out of love.
She sits up, even though her back aches, and manages a soft smile. She folds her legs under her bottom and rests her hands gently on her lap. "Yes, Mae-san. I understand perfectly," Naruto says in the Capital accent she took great pains to learn.
Mae smiles and puts down her tea cup. She pushes back the chair without a noise and walks over soundlessly to where Naruto is. "Better," she acknowledges. "How old are you now, Ruto-chan?"
"I will be ten years old next Thursday," Naruto replies promptly, drawing up a random date and building a face and a voice and a persona as she speaks, just like Mae has been teaching her. She selects the noble's daughter, with the Capital accent and the composed face, which she and Mae have been perfecting for the past month.
"Look me in the eyes, Ruto-chan. Don't twist your hands like that. Remember, you're not lying. You're never lying. You are just telling them somebody else's truth." Mae sighs. "Don't you remember who you are? You are not Rutoshi of the House. You are not the girl you were. You are a noble's daughter, and you are talking to a woman who is beneath you in social class. Now, again, when is your birthday, dear?"
Naruto bites her lip and settles her hands. She looks up, and smiles a smile like she doesn't want to be smiling. "July 22nd," she says into Mae's eyes.
"Good," Mae says, and sits down on the bed beside Naruto. "Remember how that felt." She waits for Naruto's nod before she continues, "Today, you're a bit late. We've only got half an hour, and Saeki-chan needs to sleep. So today's not a lesson, per se, but rather, a gift."
"A gift?" Naruto echoes.
Mae nods. "I am going to give you something that might someday save your life."
Naruto waits for Mae to go on, but she doesn't. "What is it?" She asks, dutifully.
Mae smiles. "I'll show you," she says, and they walk over to her window. Mae leans over the window, reaches under the ledge, and draws out a little bag. "These are seeds of the Yin tree, and they grow in soil or on chakra. One day, when your blood rises with the moon, you will use this. If not for this plant, no woman would be able to become a ninja. Our bleeding is just too disadvantageous, in terms of scent and the cramps it gives us, though it's different for every woman."
"So it's like a medicine?" Naruto asks.
"Like a miracle medicine," Mae asserts, "Watch." She tips the bag into her hand; a couple of little seeds fall out, and she returns all but one to the bag. Placing the seed at the center of her palm, she concentrates chakra into the seed, so much that her chakra becomes visible wisps of blue life energy, that Naruto can feel the chakra without even closing her eyes and trying, that the seed grows visibly hot in her hand.
The seed seems to expand slightly, and then it cracks along the side. A little green shoot peeps out of it, growing at an unnatural speed. Pale white blossoms from the opposite side, becoming tangled roots, and the shell cracks away. Wrapped with chakra, the green shoot branches off into three more, which thin out as they get longer and eventually end in a little bud. As Naruto watches, the palm-size, leafless tree becomes greener, and then browner. When they are a shade of brown as dark as chocolate, Mae cuts off her chakra flow and the glow fades from the hardened plant.
"They grow so fast because chakra, as life energy, stimulates their growth." Mae explains. She hands the dried and dead plant to Naruto. "They also die faster. Chakra is a boon and a curse."
Naruto holds the tree. "Does this mean you could make a normal tree grow and die this fast, too?"
Mae frowns. "Theoretically. It would take more chakra than most people have. The Yin tree is a miniature tree and has a lifespan of about nine months. It produces three seeds – go ahead and peel them out." Naruto fumbles a little, and then digs her nails into the pod at the end of one of the three branches, managing to pry away the crackled skin from the seed, which is a curious silver color. "A normal tree can live for centuries, and you'd have to feed a ridiculous amount of chakra into it. Some men with huge chakra reserves do feed a little chakra into a tree every day for all its life, which ends up giving it special properties."
"Does this have special properties, then?" Naruto asks. The pod breaks off from the stem in her hand and she struggles to scrape away the little bits of bark left around the seed.
"The original dirt-grown Yin tree only lightens the monthly blood. Chakra-fed Yin tree seeds stop the blood and prevent a child from growing inside you. Or at least, that's what my mother told me," Mae says, shrugging. "You'll have to eat one seed every month, but don't eat it until after your first blood, or you might hinder the development of your body."
Naruto peels the second seed. "So… if you put chakra into a person, would that make them grow faster and die?"
Mae hesitates. "Well, if your chakra type was exactly the same, I suppose so. It would be really hard to insert chakra into a person, though. We can do it with trees and plants because they have neutral natural chakra. Clans like the Hyuuga spend their whole lives mastering the technique of inserting their chakra into other systems, which stops chakra flow and could theoretically kill, and they can only do it because they can see tenketsu, the pores that chakra enters and exits from."
Naruto is caught up in a memory of two white-eyed, dark-haired girls, a quiet but intense Tomo, and the rambunctious Shuuka. But it passes just as quickly as it comes. After all this time, even the thought of Nonoko no longer makes her cry.
"Medics have techniques to switch their chakra to natural chakra so they can heal people," Mae adds. "You'll probably end up learning some, because they expect all girls to become infiltrators, whores, or medics. But, Ruto-chan, listen to me. You're worth more than what they say."
She doesn't want me to stay here, Naruto remembers. She frowns, slightly. Mae must see the furrow in her brow, because she keeps talking.
"You know I was a Kunoichi before. And then, at one point, I decided being a whore was better than being a whore who also murdered. There's no rest in the world of ninjas, and the pay is bad for the price of your soul. The House, at least, holds no illusions about what it is. Shinobi call themselves noble, but they are just glorified killers."
"I don't want to be a ninja," Naruto admits quietly. She looks up, thinking that Mae, who always rants about ninja, will agree with her.
But Mae's tranquil House mask seems to shatter. "Then what do you want to be?" She asks, in her cold, angry voice. "Do you want to stay here until you turn a legal age and let Mother Tessa sell your virginity to the highest bidder? Do you know the reason why you're wearing finer cotton right now is so, as you go around, you're displaying yourself to the patrons? Do you intend to stay in a whorehouse all your life? Do you want to be a whore?"
"But you said Kunoichi are murderers and whores!" Naruto cries. "Isn't that even worse, Mae-san?"
Mae stares at her for a moment. "Do you really think I would tell you this if I thought you couldn't be better? The strong have no such limits – they don't need to kill, or sell their bodies – and you, my dear, are nothing if not strong." She bends down so they are at eye level. "Ruto-chan, you are already more talented than I ever was. You have the chakra, you have the strength, you have the control. You're smart and skilled but if I didn't know better, I'd swear you were a coward."
Naruto swallows. "Are you telling me to leave?" She asks, and her voice is small. Mae's face softens, her eyes crinkled again, and her cherry-red lips tilt up in a semblance of a smile.
"I'm telling you there's a whole world out there, and nothing stopping you from going out and conquering it. I'm telling you because I love you." Mae straightens back up and tugs on her skirt to smooth it. "And besides," she winks, "I don't trust those stupid men to protect me, yeah?"
For some reason, Naruto laughs. And then they're both laughing.
And Naruto swears to herself that she will become a wonderful Kunoichi – no, the best Ninja that ever lived, if only for Mae. For Mae and Saeki and Nonoko, she will conquer the world and hold it safe in her hands. Someday.
Sarutobi sighs as he turns to the thin stack of files. He never thought there would be a day he'd wish for more paperwork, but here he is, wishing.
When Naruto ran from Minai, and Minai, thinking that the ANBU guards would take care of it, didn't chase after her, Sarutobi was at his desk filing paperwork and Ibiki was holding a meeting with the guards. In the confused aftermath, during which he sent out innumerable tracking ninja and forced many of his subordinates to work overtime, Sarutobi even brought in a young Genjutsu Mistress – some Chuunin named Yuuhi Kurenai – who had felt Naruto's chakra before, to use the All-Seeing ball.
The papers accumulate every week, from the lower administrative offices. A year after Naruto was kidnapped, Sarutobi carefully vetted two paper-pushers to sort the outside intelligence into files that reported things to do with Naruto, files of international importance, and regular reports.
Since a third party, most likely shinobi from Kumo, snatched Naruto away after she ran from Minai, Konoha sent out a massive wave of trackers to try to find her. And in the year after that, an overwhelming flood of infiltrators. Sarutobi sent out a team of ANBU to recall Jiraiya from his stupid personal interest trip, which had gone on far too long, and personally oversaw changes to gate security. Two years of improving security and even more infiltrators, and Konoha has perhaps the most extensive spy network anywhere, with the best information and the most secure borders.
Konoha has the best spy system, the best customs, and the best information. Konoha is even better and stronger in the intelligence department than she was before the Kyuubi attack.
But Konoha does not have her Jinchuuriki anymore.
Fighting the urge to start cursing viciously (and therefore become the topic of another ANBU poll entitled 'When is the Old Man going to throw a fit, go mad, and go to war?', because yes, he does know about that poll), Sarutobi shifts through the papers, sees nothing of importance, and sighs again.
Where in the wide world – where in all of the Elemental Nations can Naruto be?
Naruto wakes up at 6:00, after a solid 9 hours of sleep. It is a Thursday, and Wednesday the least busy day of the week. On the weekends, she's often up until after midnight.
She washes her face, visits the bathroom, and begins her morning run in the House. There are 17 rooms of laundry, and she lugs it all, room by room, down to the first floor, where the baskets are. 17 rooms make 8 baskets and one extra, which she divides among the rest, deciding that carrying more per lap is better than running an extra.
She runs the baskets down to the launders. The store isn't open yet, but they leave a small room open, where there are lockable cages for customers to store washing items. Aya once said the cages were installed after she realized that nobody wanted to run laundry down in the heat after the sun rose. Naruto selects the biggest cage and dumps everything in there.
When she returns for her sixth basket, she finds Saeki waiting for her at the door. "Saeki-san?" Naruto questions. It's early yet, and Saeki has dark shadows under her eyes. Naruto knows she had three customers yesterday: an unexpected early one, a traveler by the looks of it, and the customary two late Wednesday clients – a merchant who always brings gifts and a married businessman who always declares he will not return again (but returns nevertheless).
Saeki pulls away from the door frame. "Come up with me," she says. "Mae and I have to talk to you."
"I'm almost done with the baskets," Naruto says. "I'll be up in a moment."
"It's important. I'll have the receptionist run the laundry." Naruto frowns, and Saeki adds, "She scheduled the extra for me; she won't refuse me this. Not if she knows what's good for her job. Anyway, this is more important than laundry."
Naruto hesitates, but Saeki isn't one to exaggerate. Mae stretches the truth sometimes, to get people's attention, but Saeki's always frank. So she climbs the stairs, her thighs burning, and follows Saeki to Mae's room.
As soon as they're in, Mae closes the door. And then locks it, even though the locks are only supposed to be used if the customer wishes so.
Immediately, Mae starts talking. "Yesterday, Shindou-san told me that Matron's holding a Velvet Auction." At Naruto's questioning face, she elaborates, "They're not strictly legal. The House isn't strictly legal, by Konoha law, but they tolerate us because we're better than black market woman-selling. But the Velvet Auctions are almost like the black market trades. They run high in price, and to discourage the Velvet girls from protesting it, we're not told until after we're sold."
Naruto feels a sinking in her stomach. "What does this have to do with me?" She manages to choke out.
"You're being sold," Saeki says bluntly.
"Saeki!" Mae snaps.
"It's the truth. My second client told me, and he's not one to lie, no matter how disgusting of a human being he is. I even confirmed it with the third." Saeki says. "And we all knew it would happen sometime."
"I'm… I'm underage," Naruto says. "I don't… I don't want…"
"Nobody ever wants to be a whore," Saeki snaps. "Do you think that while little boys go around saying they want to be ninja, little girls go around saying they want to be whores?" She closes her eyes. "Nobody with any options chooses this path."
"We all had options," Mae disagrees, firmly. "We just all decided this was the least painful, the most money, the most comfort. Naruto… We had this conversation just a couple weeks ago. You and I – all of us really – we knew from the start that you were meant for better things than the Velvet House. Now that Mother Tessa's trying to sell you to the highest bidder and the price is running high, it's going to be harder to get away. She'll probably send people out after you, and she's got muscle in the Red District, but once you get over into the right part of town, she can't get at you."
"You're telling me to leave?" Naruto stutters. She tries not to think about Mother Tessa selling her, or what price she's already at.
"We're telling you to escape," Saeki says. "And we're going to help you get away, and stay alive." She stops pacing the floor and sits wearily on the edge of the bed.
"Stay alive?" Naruto echoes. Her throat aches with unsaid things. Words like, it's too soon, and I'm happy here.
"Well, the world of ninja is a cutthroat one," Mae smiles. "But you'll do just fine. We've been teaching you all this time, after all." Mae's voice softens when she glances at Naruto. "Don't worry, child. I know we've told you awful things about Kunoichi and the ninja world, but you'll do just fine. You're meant for greater things."
Saeki snorts. "You're a romantic at heart, Mae-chan," she says. "Ruto-chan, who do you think you are?"
"What do you mean?" Naruto asks, her voice small.
"Do you remember your name, Naruto?" Mae asks deliberately. "You're not Rutoshi of the House. You are a little girl with tremendous capability and you are never, ever going to end up where we are!" She is almost yelling by the end of it, so takes a couple heavy breaths to calm herself. In a softer voice, Mae continues, "Don't you remember what you said? You're going to be a ninja and protect us, right?"
There is something pleading in her eyes, and Mae never pleads, and of course, they're right, so Naruto just nods. "Tell me what I should do," she says, like they're just planning another prank on Mother Tessa or that stuck up Nana. And Mae smiles and Saeki smirks like it's just the same.
And Naruto can almost believe that everything is going to be okay.
The plan involves disguising the marks on her face with makeup instead of chakra and cutting off Naruto's beautiful long hair, which, according to Saeki, is worse than worthless in any case. "If you're not planning on being a whore," she says snidely, "then long hair is suicidal." And then she picked up the scissors and started cutting.
The plan also involves turning Naruto into a boy. "The gender ratio of acceptance is two boys for every girl, so you're more likely to get in as a boy," Mae says. "That's how they ration out the teams, too. If there are six genin-worthy boys and four genin-worthy girls, one girl will be dropped to make three teams of so-called 'perfect' gender balance. All the teams are two boys and one girl, and everybody knows they plan it. They should just come out and say it instead of pretend like it's a coincidence every year."
Mae is definitely a little bitter and Saeki is definitely a little angry still at the shinobi world, but in the end, they are still pushing Naruto back in to it. But in the short days that follow, in the timeframe before Saturday, Naruto has little time to think about it. She has lessons on how boys act – though she still has a pretty good idea from living as one for so long – a horrendous new wardrobe consisting of baggy clothing and ugly colors, and classes on how idiots act ("Never show your true potential until it's worth it. It's suicidal," Saeki said, along with a long list of other things that were sure to be 'suicidal' and that Naruto must never do).
And that Friday evening, Saeki and Mae both call in sick days, and if anybody thinks it's suspicious, they don't say anything. That last night, they sleep ensconced in lavender-scented blankets and the warmth of almost-family.
Almost-family that will soon be nothing but bonds broken in hopes of new and better ones.
Some days, Minai still curses the little Jinchuuriki that ran away. She'd had a nice, cushy job as administrative liaison between the Academy and the formal governing offices, but after the incident with the little girl, she was demoted to a different kind of administrator. The front-desk receptionist variety.
It's not like I meant for the stupid girl to run away, she thinks for the fourth time this morning, cursing at another paper cut. She reinforces the wound with her chakra and watches it start to heal up slowly. I just thought that her ANBU guards would cover it, and there would be no need for me to disrupt class, but no, the ANBU guards were in a conference with Ibiki and apparently, I was supposed to just know that it would turn into a dire situation.
Minai studies the stack of sheets on her desk and takes out the top ten or so packets, turning to a cabinet and pulling out the corresponding folder. Most little girls would run to cry at a park, or go back home, but our special little Jinchuuriki just disappears.
And more than two years of searching later, years of extensively checking every person that passed in or out of the gates, years of questioning and cross-questioning every ninja who could have come into contact with the girl – even the civilians, at one point – years of scouring the Elemental Nations; years later, she was still missing. The Hokage's wrath had borne down on the hapless ANBU guard and Minai herself, and many fruitless excursions were made into Kumo, into that retard Nonoko's mind, into every other Elemental Nation, but nothing was found.
Nothing.
She stamps another paper with the official Academy stamp, signs her name in the stamp signature line, and puts it in another growing pile. The First Hokage had reputedly handled all paperwork himself, but the nation was small then. Measures had been added, and now papers must go through three lines of paper-pushers, and another line just to check that all papers had been stamped thrice, and if there is any little discrepancy, anything of great (or slight) importance, the Hokage will find it on his desk.
And Minai, for one, knows better than to piss off the grandfatherly old man.
The door tinkles and she looks up, a polite greeting already on her lips just in case it's a clan member checking up on a student, when she sees the figure in the doorway. The words on her lips die.
"Hey," the little boy says exuberantly. "I'm here to be a ninja!"
But that's not the important part. The important part is that the boy looks like Uzumaki Naruto (whom Minai admittedly did not know was a girl until she read the damn girl's profile), and she has been missing for two years, and this might get her promoted again, just maybe.
"Are you okay, miss?" The little brat asks, and Minai realizes she is standing. She runs a hand down her skirt, smoothing the fabric out, and forces a smile on her lips. But before she can get a word out, the brat is off again, "I'm Shindou Toshiro, but everybody calls me Shiro, and my father," a significant glance here, "and I recently moved here, and Konoha is famous for having awesome ninja, so I want to be a ninja, okay?" He puts a hand on his hip and stares up at her, with an expression so entitled and snobby Minai blinks twice.
This… is not Uzumaki Naruto. The little jinchuuriki Minai remembers was meek and didn't talk much and fled from confrontation. She didn't have challenging eyes like these, or a voice with such a rich, textured accent – the kind Minai always heard from the mouths of foreign ambassadors or some of the very rich civilian kids.
"There are procedures to be followed," she says, settling back into her chair. Now that she looks closely at his face, he doesn't look much like Uzumaki Naruto. He doesn't have those distinct whiskers, for one, though there is a dim scar on his right cheek. "I don't know who your father is, but he can't just –"
The smile, which had slowly been disappearing from the boy's – Shinda? Sando? – lips, slides back in. "I don't plan to become a ninja with that man's money," he says, his grin lopsided and equally bitter and victorious, "I'm fully confident in my abilities as a student."
Minai sighs. "I'm sorry, but I don't think you know what you're asking for."
"Is there an advancement test for talented students? A scholarship acceptance program, maybe?" His smile is dangerous. Minai can think of the exact section of the Academy Charter that talks about placement for late but talented or gifted students, and a scholarship program encompassing even housing and meals, if needed. She looks at him again, at his posture, which screams defiance, and then closer, at his red-rimmed eyes, at the tiredness in his face.
Minai wants to hate him, she really does. She wants to hate him for not being Uzumaki Naruto, for making her morning more difficult, and for his expression, which says that he won't give up, not like she has.
But she finds that she can't.
"All right," she says and gets up again, stretching out her calves. "Come with me."
Iruka doesn't know what Minai wants with him during his preparatory period, but he doesn't like it already. The kids are out for their lunch and playground time, with other administrators watching over them, and this hour and a half is the only time he has to eat and work on these papers. A long time ago, Iruka naively believed that homework would stop after he got out of school. And that teachers assigned it to give students grief.
Now he believes that teachers are all secretly masochistic.
But even though Minai was demoted a couple years ago after the fiasco with the jinchuuriki, she's still in a higher position than him and he still has to listen to her. So Iruka trudges out of the door toward the third academy training field, where she asked him to meet her.
As he nears it, he is surprised to hear Minai's voice, animated like it hasn't been for years. The blonde is known around campus for being rather aloof, and with some curiosity Iruka picks up his pace and directs some chakra to his ears. "So? How have I done?" A distinctly young voice asks.
"You've been doing okay so far," Minai's voice says. "But don't get arrogant, brat. You've only managed to pass the book learning so far. Combat is what makes a ninja."
"That's why you're stuck as a teacher and not actually doing anything, huh?"
"Why, you little!" Iruka rounds the corner and is treated to the sight of the normally composed blonde giving a little sunshine-headed boy a noogie. The boy yelps and flails a little comically, and she laughs, "Say that again?"
"Uncle! I give, I give!" Minai tugs his hair again, for good measure, and he yelps, "Sensei, save me!"
"What?" Iruka stares at the boy, startled. Minai didn't notice him yet, he knows, and he doesn't think the boy saw him coming in… He watches the boy closely as Minai lets him go and dusts herself off, still smiling.
"Iruka-sensei," Minai says, her voice still alive, "this is Shindou Toshiro. Shindou-kun, this is Iruka-sensei. He'll be testing you on the other aspects of ninja learning." She nods at Iruka and Iruka sighs internally. So some kid with connections wants to get in before the start of the new school year, even though it's only four months away. Why can't he wait until the school year, when the test is much easier and acceptance rate higher? Iruka doesn't want to go through the diplomatic nightmare of nicely telling a rich family that the kid is just not suited to being a ninja, and no, the money won't help.
"Iruka-sensei?" Shindou asks, his voice young. "I'm Shindou Toshiro, future ninja." He sticks out a hand and Iruka shakes it bemusedly.
"Er, yes," he stammers, and looks over at Minai. She's settled down by a tree, looking as if she has nothing else to do and is fully prepared to see this 'testing' through, even though she's usually complaining about paperwork. "Well, then, shall we start with chakra-molding and jutsu?" He asks Shindou, turning to face the boy.
"What do you want me to do?" Straightforward, Iruka thinks, I don't want to deal with this fallout. But the kid looks like he can take it pretty well – maybe if he realizes himself that he can't be a ninja?
"Do you know how to mold chakra?" Iruka asks, already formulating an explanation in his head.
Do I know how to mold chakra? Naruto nearly scoffs, but doesn't say a word. The teacher's eyes wander, like his attention is elsewhere.
["Hold out your hand. Now close your eyes and imagine all the color in the world gathering in a ball in your hand."]
All the colors in the world. Not stopping to give the teacher a reply, Naruto holds out her hand and pulls chakra into it. She's so used to the feeling of everything in her rising that she doesn't have to close her eyes to feel it anymore, just like she's used to the sudden clarity in the colors around her, the acuteness of the chakra in the air around her, the feeling of the world being made clear. With Saeki and Nonoko, she trained hard to keep the sense of color, so even now she can close her eyes and see Iruka and Minai and the trees, ground and sky.
She knows the shape of the ball in her hand, knows its diameter and its shape without looking. Naruto can stretch it into different shapes, into different things, shape it and tease it and change it to show her control, but she doesn't need such things. Saeki taught her, the hard way, not to show anything unless she needs to, not even for the sake of proving that she's better, not even if she's angry or hurt.
"Bragging is a bad habit," she'd said more than once, "And bad habits get you killed."
Some moments, Naruto realizes that Saeki and Mae were preparing her for being a ninja the whole time, that they never intended for her to stay with them.
But she never dwells on the thought.
"Is that good enough?" She demands, thoughts making her voice a little rough on the edges. She puts her hands on her hips and stares at him with hard eyes, hardened by the friends and the love and the girls and the Velvet House. Hardened by what he made her remember.
He stutters. "No, that's perfect," he manages to say. They stand there in awkward, tense silence for a moment before he seems to remember how to continue. "Now, we'll test your Taijutsu. That's physical combat."
Naruto is not good at Taijutsu. She went through some basic stances with Saeki sometimes, but in the cramped and overly ornate rooms at the House, and with so much else to learn, Taijutsu was a question they never saw fit to answer. But the man beckons, so she slides into a low stance, feeling the stretch in her thighs, and wonders how well she has to do on this – though Saeki said to show as little as possible, Naruto knows it is not an option to fail. It never was.
She closes her eyes a moment to center herself, letting the world of color, the world of chakra, take over for a moment. It swells around her, leaning in, as if she is the center of the earth and everything, all the color, is just trying to become closer to her. Beauty blooms at the edges of her closed eyelids, making her breath come just a little bit easier. There is the man, and there is Minai, and the edge of the tree line, and further on are clumps that must be animals, students, sky—she shakes herself loose before she can get lost in the infinite world, forever onward.
"Whenever you're ready," the man says.
"I'm ready," she says. And then she leaps forward, swinging her right hand down in a diagonal slash and bringing her left foot up second later in a diagonal kick. Iruka moves backward, out of the range of her attack, and aims a weak punch, which she bats out of the air, directing it away from her. He doesn't overextend, but falls back a little more, stabilizing his stance, his hand already fisting in anticipation, so Naruto doesn't go after him. She feints left, and then dodges right and sweeps her leg at his. Her shin collides solidly with his, and she muffles a curse as her leg begins throbbing in pain.
"That was a hard hit," Iruka says, and though his voice has the faintest traces of laughter, the compliment seems to be genuine. Naruto smiles, though the throbbing, and collapses onto the dirt-packed ground. "If you reinforce a hit like that with chakra, it should do more damage," he says. Then pauses. "Do you know how to reinforce your body with chakra?"
Naruto does, but she doesn't know if this is something she should know. "Am I supposed to?" She hedges, hesitantly.
Iruka laughs again. "Your knowledge of chakra is certainly already past the level we expect for even a third year student, and your taijutsu is alright. Minai-san, I assume his written tests were good?" Minai nods affirmative. "Well, with this much, you've certainly passed already. Unless you want to try to skip a grade, which I wouldn't recommend, you'll get free leave to the class that will be graduating next year. Do you have a guardian we can ask about your admission fees?"
Money? Naruto doesn't have any money. And her cover story doesn't qualify for financial aid. She shouldn't have picked a rich boy, but she thought that being a poor boy was a step closer to her real self, and dangerous. "I thought there was a scholarship," she blurts, finally. "The library copy of the charter said so."
"Scholarship?" Minai coughs from the shade under the tree. "I thought – your father!"
"My father has nothing to do with this," Naruto snaps, quite deliberately. She takes a deep breath, as if to calm herself, and repeats, more quietly, "My father doesn't know anything about this. And I aim to keep it that way."
"I'm afraid that we can't accept you without the consent of your legal guardian," Iruka says quietly.
"He thinks I killed my mother," Naruto speaks over the end of his sentence. "But it was all his fault that Mom died. It was just a simple C rank mission, but his enemies attacked her and she died." She remembers the pain on Nonoko's face as her first teacher talked about her parents, and tries to twist her expression into an imitation of it. "But he's not my father and he's never been, and we are not a family, because he's already forgotten me and he's already forgotten Mom and if he really loved her, he would understand why I have to do this. He can't stop me, because he doesn't know the first thing about me, and he's forgotten everything she was."
Iruka grimaces and says, "We still can't accept you."
So Naruto brings out her last card. She reaches into her too-baggy clothing, which rustle too much for comfort, and brings out the forged emancipation document, one of Saeki's specialties. She thinks about Mae and Saeki and how she'll never see them again, and whatever happened to Nonoko and why is she always alone, and tears well up in her eyes.
"Are you happy now?" She asks, and it sounds choked. "I'm not even a part of his family legally anymore. He doesn't care. He let me go."
And Iruka takes it and barely glances at it. He stares at her and Minai comes up beside her and wraps her in her arms, which smell of ink and paper and dust. And Minai rocks her back and forth and murmurs soft, sweet words, but all Naruto can do is stand there, stone still, because this is the woman who hated her before, who was part of the organization that took Nonoko away.
Finally, Iruka says something else. "What was her name?"
"Shut up, Iruka," Minai snaps. "Look at-"
"Whose name?" Naruto asks quietly, under Minai's voice, from inside her paper arms.
"Your mother's name. She was a Kunoichi, right? A Konoha Kunoichi. Tell me her name, and we'll process the paperwork to let you into the Academy." Naruto knows he can't stop her now, not with Minai and Saeki's expertly forged document on her side, but she also knows that this will be her teacher, and she can't let him hate her, and what is a name, anyway? But at the same time, she doesn't know anything, she doesn't know any dead girls, she doesn't…
Then, unbidden, comes the memory of the time she was crying, and Mae found her in the hall and wrapped her in lavender-scented silk and they lay on the mattress and talked about the secret things that even the walls couldn't hear. About Mae faking her death, to get away from the death and the killing and the lies. Because Mae said that the weak have to do what they can to survive.
And that's when Naruto knows she has gone too far to turn back. Because she looks up at Iruka's untrusting eyes and she says Mae's real name.
"Her name was Uminaka Misaki," she says, barely a whisper. "And don't you forget it."
It's a promise. To Nonoko and Mae and Saeki, because no matter what their past mistakes were or what country they were from or what name they went by, they had loved her and she had loved them. So Naruto promises, at least to herself, not to forget them, and not to forget the girl they had made her.
Author's Notes:
03.08.13 Edits (Timeline)
12.01.13 Minor Edits (Spelling)
Liffae ^-~