I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho!

Chapter 8

I felt as if I were living two separate lives. The girl everyone around me knew, her memories, and then there was the one who was supposedly created within my mind. I struggled with my reality daily, the people who surrounded me they were from an anime show I had watched when I was younger, but without the main protagonist. On the other hand I remembered them distinctly on a personal level. I am so confused and I honestly dont even know who I am anymore? I separated myself from the others quite frequently, especially when humans would come around.

I haven't seen my mother in weeks, a perk to my now demonic self. I craved to rip her to pieces, I wanted bloodshed, and gallons of it. I was completely disgusting. But I couldn't help myself, trying to overcome that need was like trying to keep a bird from its flight. I sat under the moonlight peering up at the stars, admiring their simple beauty. Wishing I could become one, to be freed my own imprisonment. A cool night wind whispered passed my body giving me a slight chill all over, it carried some pieces of my coppery hair along with it, it was chilly tonight but I remained firm in my place, unwilling to burden anyone with my presence. I was surrounded by people who cared for me but in some way I felt truly alone, given my current state I was no longer allowed to be a spirit detective, hence my training has come to an end.

I didn't know what to do with my life. Kurama-Shuichi was kind as always, being that supportive older brother, he felt guilty about me though. Which added to my own pain. Hiei was standoffish, I always felt his eyes on me though, I wasn't sure how he felt about me, and to be honest he was never around. From what Kurama told me, he had joined him in a temporary alliance. Judging from my older memories I remembered becoming somewhat closer to him, I assumed it was because I had saved his life once. He at the least had tolerated me. Koenma felt indebted to me, I supposedly had went after him in hopes of returning the abducted prince, only to be caught and tormented myself. Bits and pieces Kurama would share with me, but still nothing too personal, I supposed even he was a little reluctant given the fact that I was "sired" to this Rando person. Thus I was left out of most conversations. I didn't blame them though, I was not even sure if I trusted myself. Given the stakes if Rando wanted me to kill them, would I be able to fight against his will? It was better to just be alone.

Breaking my train of thought, I felt a presence behind me slowly creep up, resting back on my hands I turned my head in curiosity. I saw dark crimson eyes and knew instantly who it was. Hiei. I turned my attention back onto the sky, dismissing his presence as a means to insure I didn't run off. Why was he even still here? He and Kurama had such differing agendas, Hiei working to the end of humanity while my brother wished to keep the peace. So it wasn't like they rejoined to save the day. The wind picked back up again, a cool misty breeze flew back over my skin which caused a silent shudder, it seemed it would rain soon. I smiled slightly to myself as I inhaled deeply, enjoying the smell of him mixed with the sweetness of the wind.

My cheeks deepened a pale pink at that thought, but he have a pleasant aroma I argued with myself, his scent that surrounded him, it was like fresh pine. Nothing to be so embarrassed over right? As those thoughts trailed around in my mind, I felt something touch my skin jerking my attention to my bare shoulder. I noticed a black cloak laying over me, and his presence sitting beside me, gazing up at the night sky. He emitted a heat from him, that was for sure, must be a fire apparition thing I thought silently. Well good for you captain obvious I berated myself. I looked over to observe my new companion, he looked almost serene, so... gentle as he sat gazing at the faraway stars. I had never seen him look so calm and full of peace. Which in some ways calmed my inner demons. "No pun intended"

"There is something strangely haunting in the light of the moon. It has all the dispassionateness of a disembodied soul, and something of its inconceivable mystery." I said earning a glance from the fire apparition, "You know the story of how the sun and the moon came to be, dont you?" he silently shook his head returning his gaze up towards the sky. I pulled his black cloak tightly around me, enjoying the warmth it brought me, it was getting cold pretty quickly for a girl who decided to wear shorts and a tank outside, I watched him from the corners of my eye and pondered about where I had even learned of that story, I couldn't remember.

"Heh, well woman are you going to tell me or not?" he said breaking my train of thought, I looked back over at him and noticed his pleasantries were gone, replaced with that smug look he often wore. I should have known it wouldn't be long until that one came back into play, but at least he wasn't being hostile. I flashed him a smile in return, and said playfully "No, I dont think I will." silence grew between us once more but this time it felt rather uncomfortable, I hopped up to my feet and slid the cloak from my shoulders and handed it back to him muttering a quiet thank you.

He never turned to meet my gaze, he looked deep in thought, so I turned dreadfully around to head back inside when I heard the words "I can help with your burden." Stopping me in my tracks I stared ahead into the dark and I asked "Which burden?" feeling like I had so many already. Hearing a silent chuckle to my reply he spoke "Let me back inside your mind. Without Kurama's interference I can do what is necessary this time." What exactly is necessary that he wouldn't allow. I said solemnly but also he piqued my interest just a tad. "I can try and repair your mind, help you discern what is true." But how would you know what exactly is true? "Part of the fun I suppose." I swirled around to face him noticing his eyes held a humor I didn't quite understand, it was like he was toying with me as he sat waiting for my reply, I couldn't pick up on his feelings, I was uncertain of his true intentions, technically he was not still a foe right? He did save me in a way. However, it did look like I would have to start training on my own to work that empathic skill back up.

Even though it was a gamble, a part of me wanted to partake in his game, like it was a thrill if I'd come out normal or brain dead. I watched his never changing features gave him a small smirk and said "Sure, I'm game." Returning my smirk, Hiei eagerly pulled his headband off revealing the Jagan eye, nervously I walked back over towards him and sat down next to him, wondering to myself if I had made a wise choice, he hadn't met Yusuke yet. Was Hiei still evil? Would he purposely harm me to get even with my brother for breaking their former alliance? His eyes were emotionless as he slowly closed them, I watched the Jagan shine a bright purple. It felt like a tickle inside my mind, going over every memory, I silently wondered why Kurama would not want this for me, was there something more Hiei wasn't telling me of the possible side effects?

It was too late now, I silently chastised myself for allowing him to enter my thoughts in this way. I could see every memory he looked through, it seemed he lingered on the childhood I barely remembered, I looked at the young girl I use to be, I was crying leaning up against a dark building, dirt covered my face and body, I was alone. I was extremely malnourished, why had my parents left me to fend for myself? I felt a sudden emptiness in the pit of my stomach watching the young girl. He went through several others, it was like a filing folder in my mind, from childhood up to adolescence, captivity. So many different memories and outcomes, like I said formerly I was two different people. It seemed like hours being locked in my mind, and strangely I could see hm as he relived my moments. "How do you know his true form?" Hiei questioned me, "Who are you referring to again?" he scoffed at me like I was incompetent, "Rando. How do you know his true form?" he repeated back to me, but it was more like a demand, I softly laughed under my breath "You see, it's a long story. In fact, if you are finished can we leave now? I'm getting tired of being here myself." Hn. Well, you will soon have more time to tell me. Where we are going there will be few distraction. Confusion sweeping over me I asked "What do you mean?" Without replying his figure vanished from my sight and I was left alone once more.

A/N- A short chapter. Let me know what you think, should I continue this story? Please message or review it would be greatly appreciated.