Thanks to everyone who followed and reviewed since the last chapter. Sorry this one took a little longer than usual; life has a tendency to get in the way! Hope you love chapter four. Please review if you do!
Chapter Four
Feeling dejected from Finnick's statement, I decide that I'm going to take a nap; I don't care what time it is. After all, it's not like I slept very well on the train ride here anyway.
I tell this to Finnick and he replies, "That sounds really good. I'll join you. I mean…not like that!"
I laugh slightly. "It's ok, Finnick. I know what you mean."
We lie down on top of the duvet and attempt to fall asleep.
Well, I'm not sure how successful Finnick was, but I find myself stuck in a very restless sleep with dreams punctured with creepy Capitol men suffocating me and shoving me around. When I wake up, I head for the bathroom to take a shower and think about what I am going to tell my parents. I suppose I'll talk to Snow first. Perhaps he will let me go back home in the meantime or something and allow me the chance to tell them in person.
The hot water pours over me for I don't know how long, but it must've been long enough to concern Finnick because eventually he knocks on the door and asks if I'm ok in there. I reply that I'm fine and he says something that sounds like, "Oh, good, was worried there for a sec."
Did he think I'd drowned in the shower by accident or that I'd actually try to kill myself? Only the weak do something as cowardly as take their own lives. I can't imagine the pain I'd put my family through if I were to do that, besides. Maybe Finnick's known of other victors who tried to kill themselves when things got too badly, like if their family was all killed off, or something.
Finally, I step out of the shower, towel myself dry and emerge from the bathroom in just the towel, completely forgetting my surroundings for a second.
"Whoa!" Finnick gasps when he sees me, his eyes growing as wide as saucers.
"Um." I grip the towel around myself and avert my eyes. This awkward feeling going through me makes me wonder how the hell I'm ever going to let some horrible, freaky, old Capitol man touch me in a matter of days when I can't even handle someone as attractive as Finnick looking at me; it's not like he can even see anything!
He keeps staring at me, then finally seems to come to and looks away, his cheeks burning as though he saw something he shouldn't have. As I rummage through my belongings for something different to wear, he heads into the bathroom. I hear some weird grunting and try not to laugh. It appears that he had to go to the bathroom really badly. Obviously, whatever he ate earlier today didn't really agree with him.
As I slide my bra and underwear on, I decide to tease him about it. Anything to distract us from the bad situation we're in! I'd tease either of my brothers about it. Of course, the way I think about Finnick is just a little different than as a brother…
After pulling my trousers on, Finnick steps out of the bathroom, so I hurriedly tug my shirt on over my head, but seeing as it's one of those stretchy shirts (I thought it'd be slightly more Capitol appropriate and seeing as I was trying to avoid Snow killing me, it seemed like the best idea at the time) with a small opening for my head, it gets stuck, causing me to flail around blindly, tripping into the bed. "Ahhhh!" I call out.
Hearing Finnick's footfalls behind me, his strong hands assist me with tugging the shirt on. I right myself and find him mere inches away; instantly I perspire slightly. I have no idea how to handle that, so I say distractedly, "So, tough time in the bathroom just now, Odair. Will I be able to go in there in a few minutes or will I be asphyxiated?"
"Huh?" He looks so confused, which is an adorable look for him. It makes him look every bit of the sixteen year old he is. "Why would you think…oh."
Now I'm the one who's confused. "Can you explain to me in English, please?"
His face goes red and he coughs. "I, uh, well, do you have brothers?"
"Not sure what my brothers have to do with you stinking up the bathroom," I ask, crossing my arms in front of my chest, trying not to laugh at how cute and embarrassed he is.
"You have brothers, though?" I nod. "Ok, think for a second if they've ever gotten really, overwhelmed, by a girl and they ever needed to excuse themselves."
I rack my brain and then remember my brother Shef frantically washing his sheets early one morning. He was so embarrassed that I figured he wet the bed and I asked if he was going to tell our parents. He looked like he was going to kill me and he told me that he had had a very good dream about a girl in his class he liked. I still remember him saying to me, "Get it through your head, Aurie!" He was 15 at the time; I was 12 and I didn't understand anything about how a male's body works, but finally I figured out that he'd soiled his sheets because of a dream that was too intense.
"Um yeah, that did happen, I guess," I say slowly. "But what does that have to do with…?"
"For a girl from District 3, you're not very bright." Finnick groans. "Put two and two together. Trust me, the bathroom doesn't stink."
And then I figure it out. "Oh, shit, I'm sorry, it's all my fault, isn't it?"
"Yeah, it is, Cransin. Damnit, what were you doing coming out of that bathroom in that little towel?"
"I forgot where I was for a second, Odair. Please, don't think I was trying to torment you."
"Yeah right, but that's ok, I'll get you back at some point."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I frown playfully at him.
"Oh, wouldn't you like to know?" He winks at me which makes me feel like I'm one of those stupid airheaded shallow Capitol women he flirts with all the damn time.
I sit down on the bed and face away from him. "No, forget it, Odair."
He walks away, muttering something like, "Women, can't live with them…"
Deciding to give Finnick the silent treatment for a while, I ignore him and try to think about what I'd be doing if I were back in District 3. For whatever reason, picturing myself at my parent's workshop fixing a new electronic device reminds me of the electro cuter I used in the Games. Eventually, I'm sucked back into bad memories of the arena and try as I might to stay focused on where I am, eventually, I succumb to the flashbacks. I see the red haired girl from District 10 who I caught in my snare. I killed her because I didn't see the point of making a snare to catch someone and just letting her hang there upside down. Her name, I found out on the Victory Tour, was Esmey, and instead of me catching her in this flashback, the tables have turned and now she stands over me with a rope she's turned into a noose. "You think you can escape me now that you've killed me?" she hisses angrily.
"No, I'm sorry, I just wanted to get out of the arena! I couldn't do that while people were alive. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, please forgive me, Esmey," I beg, but she shakes her head and wraps the noose around my neck.
"See how you like being caught in a snare. Better yet, see how you like suffocating to death," she replies angrily.
"No!" I scream. "Please let me go. You're dead. You're DEAD! You can't hurt me!"
Her face fades away; the ceiling of the hotel room reappears. I'm now curled up into a ball on the floor, sobbing and shaking - Finnick hovers over me now, clutching my hand. He says, "Aurie? Are you there? Come back to me!"
I focus on his intense sea green eyes and whisper, "One of the girls I killed tried to hang me."
"It's not real, Aurie. I promise you it's not. I see them too, you know. The ones I killed."
I whimper, pathetically. "I keep seeing their faces. I just want them to go away."
"They never will," he says softly and then offers me a hand. I take it and he pulls me back to my feet. "Hey, do you want to get something to eat? Get out of this room? I'm starting to feel like the walls are closing in on me. I can't take being here any longer."
I nod slowly and tell him I just need a few more minutes to recover. He smiles slightly and heads over by a mirror where he fixes up his hair. I watch him yank off the shirt he'd been wearing all day and search for something else to wear. I'm unable to tear my eyes off his rippling muscles and tanned chest. Finally, he pulls on a dark green thin, deep v-necked t-shirt.
To cover up the fact that I'd been staring at his amazing body, when he turns toward me, I roll my eyes at him, which causes him to ask me what my problem is and I tell him that the primping and preening is.
"The Capitol's favorite victor is hitting the streets; I need to look my best, Aurie babe," he says in a very haughty tone, completing the effect with a sleazy wink.
Pretending to be a Capitol idiot, I clutch my heart and pretend to faint, the way so many women did when he was interviewed right before he went into the arena nearly three years ago.
"Well come on, doll, we don't want to keep the people waiting. They'll be so very pleased to see us," he actually purrs and then offers me his arm, which I clutch, feeling truly idiotic.
"Think I liked the other Finnick Odair better," I tell him before we exit the room. "That one didn't sound like an arrogant idiot."
He shrugs, putting his finger to his lips; I know that I can't utter anything out of character outside of this room that would reveal the true Finnick to anyone. We head out of the room and eventually out of the hotel, trying to make up our minds on where to go to get something to eat.
We walk a couple of blocks when suddenly a few women realize exactly who's out for a night on the town. They all shriek and crowd us. I hear, "Finnick, I love you," and, "Finnick, marry me," and, "You're so sexy!" A few look at me and smile, not seeming overly bothered that Finnick has a date for the night.
"Isn't that precious, Finnick Odair and Aurie Cransin, two victors finding love?" someone says sweetly and the crowd begins to giggle and clap.
"How'd you decide you loved each other?" one girl, who narrows her eyes at me, says.
"We're not in love, ladies," Finnick says in that haughty tone before laughing very lightly. "We're just fellow victors on a stroll looking for something delicious to eat."
"I volunteer as tribute for that," some girl says nearby me. "You can eat me all you want. I'm sure I'd be plenty delicious to you."
Her imitating the dialogue of how someone volunteers to go into the Games makes me feel more than slightly upset and though I don't know what she means by wanting Finnick to eat her, it sounds very disgusting. I guarantee she doesn't mean she wants him to turn cannibal on her. Heck, the Capitolites don't even like watching mad tributes resort to cannibalism in the arena!
Finnick pretends not to hear her and just smiles at all of them that blindingly bright trademark Finnick Odair smile. "As much as I'd like to entertain you all tonight, unfortunately, my stomach is in need of some good eats." He winks and playfully rubs his belly, which makes them all giggle like idiots.
They beg Finnick to take them all with us on one massive group date, the very thought making me shudder. I cannot stand listening to these morons all night, nor can I deal with fake, flirty Finnick for much longer, either.
"I'm really sorry, ladies," Finnick says, putting his hands to his heart like it's actually painful to leave them, so he compromises by getting all of their contact information and promises he'll keep in touch. They giggle some more and tell him they're holding him to that deal.
One of the least annoying women of the bunch directs us down the street toward a top rated steak restaurant, so we head there.
We step inside the restaurant a few minutes later and are immediately given a table in a secluded corner and are told we can expect whatever we'd like and to let the head waiter know if there is a single thing we find dissatisfactory - he will let the restaurant owner know so that it can be immediately corrected.
The lighting at the table is so dim that it's actually kind of challenging to read the menus. Finally, after being fawned over repeatedly, our orders are taken. It's actually quite unnerving and no, I don't enjoy it much. I'll take District 3 and being treated like relatively the same person, except for being stared at every now and then, over being treated like some celebrity. Of course, the victors are the Capitol's favorite celebrities and I'm on a "date" with the most popular one. So, it'd make sense to be treated like the most important people in Panem, besides President Snow, I guess.
Just thinking about that evil man's name makes my stomach twist, so I take a small sip of the wine and decide that I'll ask Finnick all about District 4, which will hopefully do the trick of distracting me from thinking about tomorrow's meeting.
Finnick talks to me in a low voice all about the district, which sounds lovely. I can't imagine being able to swim since practically the day I was born, nor can I imagine seeing the beautiful colors of a sunrise or sunset at the beach. District 3 has very little natural beauty; we're so immersed in technology that all of our beauty is manmade – neon signs on buildings and things like that. I tell Finnick about this and he nods and tells me that during his short stop at my district on his Victory Tour that it seemed like an, as he calls it, "artificial," district, with little green space. It's my district and I love it because I enjoy fiddling with tech gadgets but I'd give anything to have been able to spend more than five seconds in his district on my Victory Tour, besides at the Justice Building.
Whenever someone notices that two victors, one of them being Finnick Odair, are dining in the restaurant, they pester him for some personal time. He indulges them in the appropriate bit of attention, causing them to leave the table clutching each other in effort to, I guess, not faint.
I laugh at their behavior and cover it up by stuffing a roll in my mouth, which almost makes me choke. I spit it out and Finnick begins laughing, too. He covers that up by reaching for his glass of water and taking an overlarge gulp of it, which causes him to start coughing.
"Oh, Odair, we can't take you anywhere," I say in mock annoyance.
"Says the girl who almost choked on her roll. Have you no table manners whatsoever?" he replies indignantly.
We both start laughing, really and truly laughing. Suddenly, our wait-staff appear with our plates of food. One of them, with a name plate that says, "Sterling," on it asks if we're ok or if we need to be excused.
Finnick and I both manage to stop our laughing and politely decline, not wanting to Snow to think we were acting as unfit victors, for fear of what he'd do to those we love back home. Somehow, I know that two victors laughing hysterically in a restaurant would definitely be reported to him. After all, I'm sure all restaurants are monitored by him all the time. Surely, he likes knowing what the victors are up to and I'm sure Finnick and I aren't the first to frequent this establishment.
Still, every time my eyes meet Finnick's, I can see the corners of his lips play up like he wants to laugh again. I do too, but every time I think about laughing, I take a bite of steak and concentrate on keeping my lips together. I must act dignified.
I contemplate my life in a different era and what it'd be like to be on a real date with a boy I genuinely like and what it'd be like to not have to watch every single thing I say for fear of retribution. However, there's no point in fantasizing about something that'll never exist so why get wistful about it? When it comes to being on a date with someone I genuinely like, I know for a fact that I could do a lot worse than Finnick, though in my fantasy, he'd never have to pretend to be someone he's not. I wouldn't have to worry about gross women putting their hands all over him.
Oh damnit, Aurie, can't you stop thinking about that for one second? I scold myself, but honestly, how could I forget the fate and Finnick and I are about to suffer? It's not like not thinking about it will make it go away!
I quietly eat the rest of my meal. Finnick nudges my hand that I placed on the table with his own hand; I look at him and he gives me a little sideways smile, which I return. I wonder briefly if he'd think I was beautiful, like he said I was at the Victor's Party, if he'd grown up with me. Somehow, I find it kind of doubtful that a boy as gorgeous as him would ever have really given me the time of day if we'd been District 3 or 4 classmates. My pale skin would stick out like a sore thumb in his district and his tan would clash with how everyone except those with naturally dark complexions look in my district.
Finally, we both finish our meals and leave the restaurant. We stand outside the outside of the building, me wondering what to do now. Finnick solves the issue by asking me if there's anywhere I'd like to go. I shrug because I don't know anything about the Capitol other than the training center/remake center or Snow's mansion.
He offers to take me down by the river which is a few blocks from here, according to a digital map near the restaurant. We head in that direction, which doesn't appear to be too close to Snow's mansion, though I suppose he could stalk us anyway. I bet I still have that horrible tracker in my arm from the Games. They're supposed to be disabled once the victor is removed from the arena, but if Snow can force us to sell ourselves, then I don't see why he couldn't just reactivate our trackers. I shudder at the thought of Snow watching my every move, no matter if I'm in the Capitol or back home.
The walk to the river is somewhat devoid of other foot traffic, so at least Finnick and I are undisturbed by annoying women obsessed with tearing his clothes off. I will myself to stop thinking of those creepy women, some of them with 3 inch, blood red talons, getting their hands on him and forcing him to do horrible things that I can't even imagine, because we don't get sex education in District 3 schools. Shuddering, I think that somehow, I'll have to do just as horrible acts with men who might also have 3 inch talons for all I know.
"Hey, you ok, Aurie?" Finnick asks gently as we get closer to the river – I can see a glimpse of it between a few of the buildings.
I shrug. "Just a little cold is all." I'm such a liar but Finnick doesn't notice so he offers me his jacket, which I drape over my shoulders. I can't help but notice how nice it smells; he uses really nice cologne, apparently.
Finally, we arrive at the river bank and I sigh in contentment. Finnick voices that he's not too impressed by the river; I remind him that something like this would be considered quite the luxury in District 3 where there's little natural bodies of water.
"You would love the sea of District 4," he tells me; I nod in response and sit in a bench near the edge of the water. He sits right next to me and we stare at the water as it peacefully heads downstream.
I tell him how peaceful I find the water and he responds, "The sea is like this, only more-so. The waves lap on the shore in the most soft, relaxing way. I actually fell asleep on the sand more than once in the last few years, when things got to be too much to handle."
"Mmmm, I bet that helped." I close my eyes and imagine something better than this river's tiny ripples on the bank, but fail because I've never heard the sound he's describing.
Suddenly, I feel the warmth of his fingers slip between mine. My eyes fly open and I stare at our linked hands – my hand now feels as though it's burning up from the electrical current passing through it. I lean closer to him, rest my head against his shoulder and then close my eyes, trying to pretend that my life isn't about to become nightmarish. If only I could freeze this moment and never ever let it go.
"Aurie," I hear Finnick's soft voice whisper.
"Hmmmm?" I say, my mind too distracted to think about much else, which is actually a quite wonderful change.
"I wish we could stay here forever," he says wistfully.
"I know; I do too." I turn toward him and then notice that our faces are just a few inches apart. I gasp; his face comes closer to mine. The next thing I feel are his soft, warm lips gently pressing into mine.
Mmmmmm, I think. No wonder people in relationships kiss all the time. It's amazing!
The kiss lasts for just a few seconds, but when Finnick pulls away, I slide closer to him yet and kiss him again. His breathing grows heavier as we begin to adjust the positions of our lips, me kind of just going along with whatever he does because I have zero experience kissing.
He shifts so that there's no space between us and wraps his arms around my waist. His legs move between mine, causing warmth to rush throughout my entire body. Then, I do the only thing that makes sense – I dig my hands into his gorgeous wavy locks and fantasize about getting something out of this rather unfortunate post-Hunger Games experience – a caring boyfriend, something I'd have never thought possible.
Suddenly, Finnick jerks apart from me and gasps, "What are we doing? We're not thinking! Anyone, literally anyone could walk past us and see us kissing. Do you honestly think Snow would be happy about that?"
"Um…" I'm at a loss for a reply, because my lips are still tingling from him kissing me and I've grown lightheaded from the past few seconds (minutes?). "I don't know? We haven't agreed to anything from Snow yet. We don't have any people to do any sexual things with yet. We were on a date after all; wouldn't that upset him just as much?"
He shakes his head. "Oh, Aurie, you haven't been playing the game like I have. Dates with random victors are ok – it could just be publicity, after all. But, a romantic kiss on the deserted riverside? Snow will look at that just a little bit differently."
I look down. "Oh. Now I feel like an idiot."
"And I should know better." He mutters something under his breath that sounds like, "Damnit Odair."
I look down at my hands and say, "Then I guess we should go back to the hotel."
He nods and we walk back, me feeling thoroughly awkward. Now, I have no idea what to say to him. What do you say to someone you just shared an intense kiss with, especially if they appear to be in a bad mood? I wish I could ask my friends who have all kissed a few boys in the past few years. Too bad that's out of the question.
The walk back to the hotel is quiet one; once inside we silently make our way back to the room and don't say anything upon entering.
I glance at the clock which reads 9:57 and sigh. I'm not overly tired, but I have zero desire to sit in a hotel room with a boy who doesn't want to talk to me, nor do I want to watch ridiculous Capitol television shows.
"I'm sorry, Aurie," Finnick begins after he sits on the bed and pulls his shoes off.
"Sorry for what, exactly, Finnick?" I ask uncertainly.
"For letting my emotions get the best of me. I enjoyed kissing you, but what's the point of that? It's not like Snow would allow us to become a couple to escape his sentence, you realize. I don't want you to fall for me. What would be the damn point of it all?"
I don't know how to reply to that so I stay silent.
Finnick turns the television on, despite my objections, insisting that we need to know if Snow's had anyone report about us and the news should reveal anything new.
Sure enough, the top news story (again, another reminder of how frivolous they are here) is about, "Wait for it ladies, thee Finnick Odair and newest victor, fabulous Aurie Cransin, out on a date in the Capitol."
I sit up straighter, wondering what they'll say about us.
The video footage is some shaky handheld camera that is surely one of the cheaper designed ones, probably worked on by someone at my parents' company for those with less money to spend. Whoever filmed it catches Finnick at the best angles, making him look as gorgeous as possible. I stand off to the side frowning and looking generally annoyed by the women gushing over him. As irritating as they were, I know I need to get better at putting on a neutral face whenever I go out in public.
The news reporters fan themselves over how mesmerizing Finnick looks and how delightfully new I appear. They call my annoyed face endearingly charming (huh?) but say that I better get better at handling my man getting so much attention from women – it's certainly not going to go away.
They say little more of substance in regards to us, except to debate if I'm the lucky girl to win Finnick's heart. They seem extremely concerned that us being together would cause devastation felt by all of the women who would be heartbroken, but then they decide that us being together is surely just him trying to show me off to the public as I'm such a beautiful girl who everyone needs to get to know better. By the end of the discussion, they have us painted as little more than best friends, especially since he never held my hand at any point.
Finnick breathes a sigh of relief when it ends then turns towards to me and explains once again why someone seeing us kiss would spell disaster for us.
"They don't want me to be taken, Aurie," he concludes and falls into silence.
I watch the news to see what other rubbish they're talking about. They launch into a spiel about which districts are the Capitol's favorites. Then a poll pops up on the screen that you can vote on (with results revealed at the end of the show) titled "Which district has your favorite victors?" The options are: 1, 2, 4 and other. Of course, they'd feature the Career districts on their ridiculous poll.
Somehow, I must fall asleep at some point because when I open my eyes, the television and lights are off and I hear even, heavy breathing coming from Finnick who is faced away from me. I get up to use the toilet and change into something a little more comfortable to sleep in and then crawl into bed, wondering how much of a chance I have of getting more sleep, seeing as our meeting with Snow is at 9. I won't have to worry about making time for eating – I doubt I'll be able to eat a bite.
My dreams are first haunted by Snow's cold, snake-like eyes staring me down, burning holes in me. This turns into a dream about all twenty-three dead tributes from my Games rushing me as I'm frozen to my pedestal. They hold me down and beat me in various ways, me screaming for them to leave me alone. Then, suddenly, I'm back in front of my home, watching it burn down, unable to run toward it, watching my parents trapped on the upper level, their hair on fire. I scream at them to just jump from the window but they don't appear hear me. Suddenly, someone places their hand over my mouth and yanks me away, then throws a bag over my head and everything goes black.
"Aurie?!" I hear suddenly, which jerks me awake.
I clutch my face, which is covered in sweat and tears, open my eyes and discover no bag is over my head; I shake under the covers as Finnick moves closer to me and pulls me into his arms.
"It's ok. They're just dreams. They can't hurt you," he says soothingly and keeps his arms around me tightly.
Slowly, my breath slows down and I relax in his arms, somehow eventually drifting back to sleep.
However, I wake up what feels like mere minutes later. Finnick still has his arms around me, but is now holding me looser. I twist around in his arms and stare at the clock which reads 4:23. From that point on, no matter how long I lay there, I'm unable to fall back to sleep. Instead, I listen to Finnick's breathing and his heartbeat. Even though I can't get back to sleep, I find it relaxing to be so close to him.
Finally, his alarm goes off, so he unwinds his arms from around me and sighs as he rubs his eyes. "Day of reckoning, Aurie."
I nod wearily, feeling completely drained.
"You ok? You look exhausted. Did you get much sleep after you awoke from the nightmares?"
I shake my head, wishing I didn't look so obviously worn down; I'm unable to move so I lay there as he announces he'll take a shower and change his clothes.
Once he disappears into the bathroom, I stay in the fetal position, running through potential conversations with my parents over and over in my head, each one more terrible than the last. I can't see how I'm ever going to be able to convince them of my reasons for spending more time here since I'll be unlikely to be able to tell them the truth because I'm sure the phones in the Capitol are tapped, unless Snow lets me go home and explain to them in person.
Finnick and I don't say very much, nor do we have much of an appetite, so we barely eat anything at breakfast. When Snow's escort, Corella, comes to collect us, we slink out of the hotel looking kind of lifeless. Fortunately, we just need to get into the car waiting for us right outside the entrance so Finnick doesn't need to put on his fake persona.
I stare out the window at all of the hustle and bustle of the Capitol, my eyes so unfocused that I don't take in any of the surroundings. I glumly rest my chin in my hand and wish I could yank the door open and run free forever until I reach the boundaries of Panem. Maybe there's something else, somewhere out there.
I snap out of my thoughts once the car comes to a stop and the front doors open. I glance over at Finnick, who has also opened his door, so I do the same and cross my arms in front of my chest as we walk toward the same entrance in Snow's mansion as we did yesterday, where we will then head toward his office so that we can attend the meeting that is going to change our lives for the worst. From this point on, I'll never be able to go back to the life I had before today.
Finnick walks in front of me; I bring up the rear of the single file pack that the three of us make. I stare at his back, watching his arms swing back and forth as he steps inside the building; I follow suit and not much later we're deposited inside the reception area of Snow's office. The two of us don't acknowledge Corella when she bids us, "Good day," just as she did yesterday. There is literally nothing good about this day!
I take a seat by the window, staring outside and briefly wishing I could jump through it and fly away like the birds. It's hard not to be envious of creatures that are free to go wherever they please. Finnick sits next to me and gently places his hand over mine and squeezes it, but lets it go before I can react. However, I turn and look at him, gazing into his eyes then and wishing I could just kiss him like last night. If only I didn't have a meeting with the most evil man in the world in a few minutes!
The receptionist announces a few minutes later that we can go in together to see Snow. Finnick and I walk side by side toward Snow's office and just before he pushes the door open, he grabs my hand.
"What are you doing?" I whisper.
"Just go with it, ok?" he replies softly and with that, he pushes the door open, looking more serious than I've ever seen him.
I take a deep breath and step into Snow's office, trying not to pass out as the door closes behind us.
"Holding hands?" Snow says, hissing out the last letter of the sentence, sounding like a snake. "Lovely." What a liar he is. "Please, have a seat you two." He gestures at chairs right in front of his desk. "I've been awaiting your responses, Mr. Odair and Miss Cransin. I assume by your display of solidarity," he says, nodding at our still linked hands, "that you two have come to the same consensus?" He gives us a sickly sweet smile that has nothing but malice behind it. His smile also matches the sweet scent of the roses on his desk – he has another one pinned to his lapel – the overpowering smell makes me feel ill.
My stomach drops as Finnick and I take seats, him refusing to let my hand go, despite the fact that mine has started to cold sweat as well as shake slightly.
I nod slightly, causing Snow to chuckle, which is awfully disturbing, coming from him. "Delightful," he says. "Might I ask as to what your responses are, then?"
"Yes," I whisper, trying to stare at him defiantly, to let him know that I'm not terrified of him, even though of course I am. This is a man who can kill people as easily as I turned on the shower last night.
"What was that, Miss Cransin? I didn't quite hear you." His grin grows wider, however, so I know that he definitely heard me.
"She said, 'yes'," Finnick replies louder. "We both say yes, because we don't want our families to die."
"Indeed, Mr. Odair," Snow says, staring Finnick down. "We wouldn't want there to be any more accidents involving your family, now would we?"
Now, Finnick's hand is shaking in mine, but when I glance at him out of the corner of my eye, I see that he looks furious more than afraid. "Accidents," he repeats in a low, angry voice. "It's really amazing what you define as an accident, isn't it, Snow?"
"Watch yourself, Mr. Odair," Snow says in a cool but threatening tone, his gaze unwavering. "I'd hate for your sister to accidentally sleep walk into the ocean and drown, wouldn't you?"
Finnick's lips grow thin and though he glares at Snow, he says nothing more.
"Well then," Snow says almost jovially, as though he didn't just tell two young people that he's forcing them to sell themselves one hundred percent against their will.
I have a fleeting fantasy of holding up the electro cuter device that I had in the arena and sticking it to his neck and hitting the switch. He's the one person I wish I could watch die. Who knew I could be so blood thirsty?
Snow continues, "The Capitol men and women will be so delighted to have new victors to choose from. They need variety from the ones they spend time with." Rage starts bubbling in my stomach at those words. We are literally nothing more to Snow than playthings for him. It's not just us; it's everyone! I start squeezing Finnick's hand so tightly that I worry that I could break his fingers, so I loosen up my grip just a tiny bit and listen to more of Snow's speech. "You will have one week to find somewhere to stay now that you're to spend more time in the Capitol. At the end of the one week, I will send someone over to your accommodations with cards instructing who you are to meet with and what is expected from you. One of the other victors will be sent over to you for further instruction later this week. You must spend three months of your time here, not including any time spent here as part of mentoring."
"What about our families? My parents are expecting me home any day now," I inform him, trying to keep the rage from spilling over, even as I fantasize about dumping a bucket of mutt fire ants on him.
"Oh, you will be able to call your parents. They're in the Victor's Village; I assume your phone works, Miss Cransin?" I nod. "I strongly advise you to watch what you say to them; you never know who might be listening."
"You're not even going to let me go home and see them in person?" I say, my voice shaking with rage.
"If you value their lives, you will not utter one word to them what you are doing with your time in the Capitol," he says. "I strongly encourage you to control that temper, Miss Cransin - the men won't like it one bit."
If looks could kill, I'm sure he'd drop dead on the spot, but obviously, that's not the case, so with a malicious smile he bids us to have a good day and, "Good luck with everything."
I wish I could tear him from limb to limb; instead I jump out of the chair and practically drag Finnick out with me. It sickens me with every fiber of my being that Snow has complete control over us. He's the one who should go into The Hunger Games – not us! Unfortunately, that'll never happen, so there's no point in thinking about it.
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Until next time... may the odds be ever in your favor!