Chapter Three
"Gentlemen," said Quarr, "we have a situation."
It was eleven o'clock in the morning, the day after the raid and the subsequent recovery of the stolen planet-hopper from a seedy chop shop in Croydon. Having finished his own paperwork and most of Lucius', Severus Snape was keen to visit the agents' lounge for a shower and a drink, not necessarily in that order. But it looked like there was more work ahead.
"I have something to show you. Walk with me," commanded Quarr.
"Won't that be difficult for you?" asked Lucius delicately. This was because the head of MIB UK was floating upside-down. Quarr's feet and calves were encased in a compact hovercoptor that propelled him around the agency, his wispy grey hair nearly brushing the floor.
"My back is acting up again," groused Quarr as they set off across the concourse. "Never been the same since the Flinker Incident of '87. Here we are." They had reached the information kiosk, where a thin, blue alien sat a desk of sorts, tapping the keys of a large console.
An image flared to life on the screen. It was an alien, brown with a green stripe down its back, and large eyes in a small, angular face.
"This is a werty," said Quarr. "Quadruped, brownish tubules resembling fur, prehensile tail. Cute little thing. It belongs to the leader of the Votolians. Seems he accidentally left it here in the UK four or five months ago while he was on vacation in the Lake District. He's quite fond of it and he's decided he wants it back. We need you to find this werty, bag it, and bring it in."
"Pet retrieval is a job for the Lost and Found Department," Lucius replied with a frown, crossing his arms. "Why do you think you require agents to take this on?"
"Because it's a time-sensitive matter," replied Quarr. He was undaunted by the Malfoy glare despite his inverted posture. "We need this taken care of quickly—and discreetly. Votolius is basically a cult leader. He's making a big stink about getting his pet back, and you know how he is. Next thing you know, we'll have whole swarms of his devoted followers pouring all over the countryside, scaring the locals, hoping to score points with their leader."
"Still—"
"Lucius and I will see to it," Severus interrupted. "As it happens, we already have a lead on this … werty."
Lucius raised an elegant brow in query. Quarr stared up from the vicinity of Severus' kneecaps. Both men looked as though they wanted to ask questions, but pride stood in the way. "Excellent," said Quarr at length. "Be sure and take care of any loose ends. It's been out there quite a while—perhaps someone has been feeding it. I'll expect a full report in a day or two."
"Very good."
They Apparated back to Malfoy Manor, where they were finally able to freshen up after their night in Croydon. They donned casual clothes and, after a light lunch, they settled down in the library. "Much better," said Lucius with a sigh, extending his feet toward the fire.
"I agree. Once one gets used to the standard galactic 37-hour day, one has so much more time for the simple things."
"So." Lucius sipped his drink. "I'm certain you had a good reason to volunteer us to be dog-catchers—or werty-catchers."
"I did. Here, look at this." Severus brought out a pamphlet from his pocket, the one he had been carrying since the day he renewed his acquaintance with Hermione Granger. "It seems wizarding folk in the Lake District have spotted a strange new magical creature over the last few months," he said. "People get near enough to feed it, but not to catch it. They've been reporting their sightings to the Ministry, and the Department for the Restriction and Control of Magical Creatures has been sending field agents out to try and round it up."
"Hmm." Lucius turned the rumpled pamphlet in his fingers. "Well then, we really do have a lead," he said at last. "How marvelous. Perhaps the Ministry has found the little blighter by now. We ought to pay the RCMC a visit this afternoon. But just so I may be prepared—" Lucius fixed Severus with a deceptively mild gaze— "what do you think we will we find when we get there?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I mean, an alien's pet goes missing, and it just so happens you have been carrying the very information we need, right in your pocket next to your beloved neurolyzer. I'd venture to say it is beyond coincidence. And so, when we get to the Ministry, will we, perhaps, run into anyone … in particular?"
Severus lifted his glass to his lips, found he had drained it while Lucius was speaking, and stood to refill it at the bar. "Oh, just the usual array of gormless civil servants, I would imagine," he replied blandly.
He had had no intention of seeing Hermione Granger again socially; he had finally moved up the social ladder, alright, but the nature of his job made it quite impossible to date outside the organization. Still, he had kept her little drawing, and was looking forward to seeing her at the Ministry again for reasons he had not fully explored. He was annoyed that Lucius believed he had picked up on something.
-o0o-
Penelope Clearwater, head of the RCMC, stared blankly at a large sheaf of bound parchment that had just been placed on her desk with a loud thunk. She looked up at her deputy director.
"What is this?"
"My report on house-elves," said Hermione Granger. "What's wrong? I told you to expect it. Didn't you believe me?"
"No, to tell you the truth, I didn't believe you would actually go to all the trouble. For Merlin's sake, Hermione." Penelope stood up and placed her hands on her desk. "Everyone knows house-elves do not want to be freed."
"We can't know that."
"It's just understood."
"No one's ever asked them, Penelope."
"They have voices. They can speak up if they're unhappy!"
"No, they can't. Not really!" Hermione's voice grew shrill. "They're so heavily restricted, they must punish themselves whenever they disobey their masters. How do you know what they really want?"
"House-elves live to serve!"
"Dobby—"
"—was a mental case!" Penelope winced at the look of shock on the other woman's face; she had gone too far. She softened her tone and began again. "I'm really sorry, Hermione. Look, I know he was your friend, and I know he rescued you from Malfoy Manor that time. I'll grant you he was special, but he was just an outlier. He was the only house-elf on record who ever expressed an interest in being free. What does that tell you?"
Hermione smiled mirthlessly and slapped a second sheaf on Penelope's desk. "It tells me we ought to move forward with my survey of the house-elves."
"Your survey? You wrote a—?" Penelope pressed her lips together to keep from saying something unprofessional. She had never believed Hermione Granger was a good fit at the RCMC. In fact, Penelope was convinced the Ministry had only given Hermione a job for the sake of good will. If only they had found the means to hire that Lovegood woman instead. Penelope blamed the Ministry's headhunter for not offering enough of a salary to tempt Luna to cancel her plans to move to the Amazon rainforest and search for something called a skorkack.
Penelope cast about for some way distract her deputy. A thick case file caught her eye and raised her hopes. "Listen, Hermione," she began, "I really think you ought to get out of this stuffy office. I'd like you to check out the latest sighting of our little friend here. He was spotted out at Grasmere again just this morning." Penelope waved her wand at a large map of the Lake District on her wall. Several little red flags popped up and waved all over the paper. "You can see by the sightings he's on the move again. No one seems to be able to catch him."
"Fitch is already in Grasmere." Hermione objected.
"Yes, he's on the west side, but he's not having any luck. You know the charms much better than he does. I want you to cover the other side of the lake. The fresh air will do you good." Penelope decided to sweeten the deal. "And while you're gone, I'll read your report iand/i your survey. I promise."
Hermione left shortly afterwards, grumbling mightily, dressed for hiking, her satchel filled with field equipment. Penelope, being a fair-minded boss, truly meant to keep her end of the bargain. But half an hour later, she was interviewed instead by two sharp-faced wizards wearing identical black suits. The dark-haired one stared intently into her eyes, and she found herself fully answering every question they posed about the mysterious new magical creature that was occupying the time of her local field agents. She even set the little flags on her map to waving again, and pointed out where her deputy would soon be searching at Lake Grasmere.
Penelope felt she ought to recognize the men behind their stylish sunglasses, but before she could think to ask their names, she abruptly changed her mind, stood up, left the Ministry and Apparated to Diagon Alley to enjoy a delicious ice cream sundae at Fortescue's.
-o0o-
Justin Fletch-Fitchley's Patronus was a titmouse. Hermione was not the least bit surprised.
He had answered her otter Patronus by confirming he was staked out in territory on the west side of the lake. So Hermione began her search along the east side. After a careful reconnaissance of her surroundings, she selected an overgrown yard behind a derelict three-story house that would provide a good vantage point. She settled in behind some low shrubbery and opened her satchel, fishing out her specialized field equipment: a dish, which she filled with all manner of tasty snack foods. With her wand, she cleared a large circle in the overgrown lawn and set the dish on the dirt.
Then Hermione began casting the special charms that would—usually—lure a magical creature to the vicinity. RCMC agents had been attempting the charm-and-lure method all over the district, but with no luck. Perhaps it was because they were never close enough to their quarry. Between magic and the dish of particularly delectable pet treats, she hoped her luck would change today.
She Apparated away with a crack, but only sent herself as far as the roof of the old house, where she laid down flat and just peeked over the ridge. She could see the dish from her vantage point, so she gripped her wand in one hand and settled in to wait.
It did not take long for magical beings to turn up, but not the one she was expecting. From her rooftop vantage point, she spied none other than Severus Snape step out of a copse of trees and into the overgrown yard.
Though it had been several months since their accidental meeting at the Ministry, she had not forgotten how pleasant it had been to sit and chat with him over lunch. She opened her mouth to call a friendly greeting, but then Lucius Malfoy joined him, and her blood ran cold. Malfoy: the very last person she ever wanted to see again. He had been her gracious host at his manor the night she was tortured by Bellatrix Lestrange in the final days of the war. She could not forget the way he had looked down on her that night, like she was a fly to be swatted. The fact he still walked around free had always made her indignant. What was he doing here in Grasmere? For that matter, what were they iboth/i doing here? Her mind refused to entertain the notion they were standing in her little territory by coincidence.
She watched Malfoy wave his wand to cast a Muffliato before speaking to Severus. Their hands gesticulated wildly as they argued for a moment. Then Lucius pulled out what looked like a large brass cigarette case. He opened it, held it to the side of his face and began talking. Hermione could hardly take in what she was seeing. What had Snape and Malfoy become, that they willingly used mobiles?
When the two men cancelled the Silencing charm and moved away, out of her line of sight, Hermione found she could not resist trying to learn more. She hoisted a leg over the top of the roof and inched along, keeping them in sight. But her downward foot slipped and she began a slow but inexorable slide down the back side of the roof. She laid herself out flat and dragged her toes. Her non-wand hand clawed the pebbled surface.
"Aresto Momentum! Ascendio!" she choked. "ARESTO MOMENTUM!" She managed to slow her inexorable slide but not stop entirely. Her lower half slowly canted off the roof, but between a continuous stream of Arestos and Ascendios, she kept gravity from winning out and wound up hanging from a rain gutter by both hands. Her wand tumbled uselessly to the ground.
"Shit," she hissed. It was impossible to Apparate without being able to turn on the spot—and without a wand. She looked around to call for it, but then she shut her mouth with a snap.
Hanging under the eaves, not five feet from her dangling body, was the little beast that had been tying her whole department in knots.
The creature was a quadruped with short brown fur and a green stripe down its back that ran down to a long, flirty curlique of a tail. It had two short little ears, and its enormous eyes were warm and brown. It swung with careless ease by one clever little hand, while holding the food dish in the other three. Hermione could only watch as it snarfled all the treats, tossed away the dish and then hung there, gazing at her with friendly regard. In spite of her predicament, Hermione stared right back, enchanted. It was the prettiest little thing she had ever seen.
"Hello," she whispered. "What are you?"
The creature chirped in greeting.
"Oh, how darling," she breathed. The little creature stretched out a paw, and she unconsciously extending her near hand in fellowship. Their fingers nearly touched ...
Then out of nowhere, a big green arm like a tree trunk extended between them. It plucked the little creature right out from under the roof. Hermione gasped and gripped the rain gutter, twisting her head awkwardly. She met two beady little yellow eyes in a large green, scaly face on top of a large green, scaly body. It was impossibly tall, with four large arms and a few smaller ones. Though she was at least twenty feet in the air, the scaly monster stood at her height and stared at her with a curious tilt of its massive head.
"Pwqa?" it rumbled.
Hermione screamed.
-o0o-
A/N - I said this story would be four chapters, but now it's looking like five. Your comments are really appreciated!