Chapter 2
ERIK
I startled up to the noise of a baby's crying. What has happened? We don't even have a baby…. oh, of course, my sister. I forgot about her. Sasha was running around in the room with great excitement. I was looking around in my room. The weather wasn't as hot as I imagined it to be, it was raining. I closed the window, and let Sacha out of my room. She was running towards mother's bedroom. The door was closed, as I left it.
I looked at the grandfather's clock in the bedrooms foyer upstairs. It was half past two. Sacha ran downstairs and was desperately scratching the front door, so I let her out. The baby was still crying. Why my mother won't stop her? A baby, to my knowledge, only cries when it has some needs that weren1t taken care of. Could it be that my sister was unattended? As she was crying more, I decided to investigate the problem.
I ran back upstairs and opened the door. The child was still beside mother, on the bed, as I left her, in my shirt. She was crying, but mother did not react to it. She was lying motionless, with her eyes closed.
- Mama? – I called out, but just as my sister's cries, my voice was left without an answer. – I took a step closer and put my hand on her shoulders. I knew she didn't like when I touched her, but this time I had to bear her disgust if she wakes up. I gently shook her. Nothing has happened. I shook her once more, this time, with more force. Her hair covered part of her face. She was pale. I quickly grabbed her wrist and checked her pulse. It was very weak, but still sensible.
For a second I did not know what to do. There was the child, crying, most likely was very hungry by this time, and there was my mother that needed quick help. Dr. Bayre did sure leave to Paris in the morning. Dr. Gautier must be the one to come and see mother, but he is deadly afraid of me. He won't ever come in the house if I was the one to open the door for him. Maybe Mlle Perrault, as mother's only friend could go and fetch the doctor, and if I stay in my room, maybe the doctor will dare to get in. But who would run to call Marie Perrault?
I could go there in nighttime, as the villagers are asleep, but I am afraid mother won't live long enough to wait for that. And I am not sure I could leave the baby here, alone. If I take the baby with me, she will most likely catch a cold, and will most certainly draw the mob's attention at us. I am not sure I could run fast enough, or protect her properly, so it is safer if she stays here.
I was walking up and down in the room, feeling like a caged animal that can do nothing to make things better. Suddenly, I heard Sacha's barking from outside. Of course, Sacha was forgotten about, my poor old Sacha. I ran downstairs and let her in. She was soaked to the skin, the poor thing.
That human being was still crying at the top of her lungs. I ran back to the bedroom, and decided to take care of the child. At least it should be saved. I picked her up and checked on her. She was dirty and needed to be changed. I was slightly mad at myself for bringing a shirt, but I really did not think of any better. I cleaned her and tried to put a diaper on her, but she was moving too much, so I just folded it on her. Very carefully I lifted her up and carried her down to the kitchen.
As I did not have anything else to feed her, I boiled some milk to avoid bacterial infections, and waited for it to cool down to a normal temperature for the baby. Of course, she wasn't happy about her lunch being so late. I felt nothing for her, nothing but maybe a bit of pity. She wasn't at all adorable to me, as mother often called her before her birth, she was much more bugging me than anything. At least she could be quiet for a few minutes. She sure has strong lungs if she is able to cry for nearly an hour without any pause.
- Stop crying. – I sighed and stuck my tongue out on her. To my surprise, she really stopped it, and was looking at me. I repeated the action, but she started crying again. – Please stop. – I said and she shut her face again. It seemed like she was only quiet when I spoke to her. – Don't be so loud, I am making your food. It seems like it will be ready for you to eat now. Will you eat and be a good girl? – I offered her some milk and she was eating. I think she was very tired because right after eating she finally fell asleep. I walked up in the bedroom and put her in the cradle.
I walked closer to mother's bed to see if she was still alive. When I checked her pulse, she weakly reached out for my hand and grabbed my shirt. Her eyes got wide open, and she pulled me to lean closer.
- Erik…
- I will call Mlle Perrault if you want. She goes and fetches Dr. Gautier for you…
- No… baptize him… Erik… baptize him… - she closed her eyes again. I knew she was referring to the newborn, she still thought it was a boy. I knew it could be her last wish and who am I to disregard it? She wanted the priest for the newborn in the first place, not the doctor for herself.
How should I call Father Mansart here? Sacha came beside me again and gave her paw. I just realized what I should do. I was a bit of afraid as some villager could catch Sacha, but I wanted my mother to be happy.
I went to the dining room, sat down at the table, picked up a piece of note paper and a piece of drawing coal out of my pocket and wrote a short note to Father Mansart in which I informed him about the events and asked for help. I clipped it to Sacha's collar and I opened the front door.
- Sacha, to the church, please! Be careful! I love you, good girl.
She seemed to understand me and I saw her disappearing as she ran out of the gate. I just hoped she will be home soon, safe. We were at the church together at night sometimes, I wanted to show Sacha the organ, so I took her with me every once in a while. I hoped she remembered the right direction.
It seemed like an eternity until I finally heard a knock on the door. I ran to open it, excitedly. Father Mansart was standing there, looking at me.
- What has happened, Erik? – his voice was compassionate. I was mad at him earlier, but I was yet a child, worried and scared that night, unsure of what might happen to my family and me. It wasn't my usual way of acting, but I was afraid. I hugged the priest, and broke out in tears.
- I need you Father… I need you to christen my sister. – I swallowed back my tears – And I would… want you to… give the final sacraments… to mother.
- I hope not, my boy. – he put his strong hand on my shoulder. – I have called for Dr. Gautier when I walked past his house. He will be here soon, but please, go to your room.
- I will, Father.
- And pray, will you, Erik?
- I will. – I nodded. I dried my eyes and ran to my attic bedroom.
Some minutes later the priest knocked on my door. I opened it and was looking at him questioningly.
- I'm sorry Erik, but your mother is still unconscious and I would need a name to baptize your sister.
- A name? – I asked slowly. Now I understood what my mother could have felt when she was asked to name me. I couldn't think of anything. I can't even tell him this time to name it after himself. I am totally alone with this huge decision, not even Sacha came back yet… wait….
- Sacha! – I gasped
- Sacha? – he repeated with disbelief. I nodded, but did not even understood why did he repeat it. I got so worried about Sacha that I forgot the whole subject we were talking about earlier. I just shut the door on the priest's face and ran to the window, to see if Sacha was in the garden.
MADELEINE
- I baptize thee Alexandrine, in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.
These were the first words I heard after a very long pause. I felt so dizzy, and I had a strange unearthly feeling as I did not even belong to my body any more. Even though I recognized Father Mansart's voice, it sounded like I was underwater and he would speak on the river bank. Everything went black again.
Some minutes later my mind started to work again.
Who is Alexandrine, Where am I? What has happened?
- Father? – I made a terrible whining sound as I tried to ask him about what on Earth is going on.
- Don't worry, Madeleine, your children are safe.
I did not really like that the priest was talking about more children. I could care less about Erik's well-being at that time. Only thing that mattered to me was my baby son.
- Who… who is… Alexandrine? – I asked the priest as I have never heard this name before.
- Oh, well, I am sorry about that, my dear. It is the official form of the name "Sacha".
- Sacha? What about Sacha?
- Erik could not give me any other girl name, Madeleine, and as you asked me to baptize your daughter as soon as possible, I was forced to name the little girl Alexandrine. But, if you ask me, it is a very beautiful name.
Daughter? Not a son? I felt a bit of disappointment deep down in my soul. I bit my lips and turned my head away on the pillow. It is not the perfect little son I was dreaming of. But after, a bigger shock hit my brain.
- Did he… dare to name my child after the dog? – I gasped. I tried to sit up, but felt myself extremely weak.
- Don't sit up, Madeleine, Dr. Gautier told us you have to rest a lot. He will see you later today.
- Could you rename my child? – I asked, not even paying attention to what he was saying.
- No, sadly no, Madeleine, I have already listed her in the parish register and she has her birth certificate.
- When did you do that, you have just baptized her, I heard you!
- Oh, dear child, it was yesterday! – he looked at me with compassion.
- So… you can't change that. – I sighed.
- No, sadly, I can't. You will eventually get used to her name, my dear. I am sorry it turned out this way.
He will pay for this. He was so mean, mocking my own child, naming her after the dog! I know I will beat him for this if I ever recover.
- May I see the child? – I asked finally.
- But of course. – the priest stood up from the chair beside my bed, as I later was informed, he had come to me to give me the final sacraments that day, but I woke up just before he could do so - and picked the baby up and handed it to me.
My daughter was beautiful, she had a perfect, symmetric little face, her complexion was light as a china doll's, she had small and cute nose, a bit of pointy, her eyes were big and clear blue, and she had a small amount of light brown hair. She was bundled up in a white soft towel, and when I touched her, she made a startled sound. It was like she got scared of me, which made me a bit of disappointed.
- Ssssssh, don't be afraid, dear, hush. – I smiled at her. – Here is Mama for you, my angel. – she looked calmer as I was talking to her. I cradled her in my arm, and was softly humming to her, until I was very sleepy, myself. Father Mansart realized I was tired, so he took the child from me and put her in the cradle.
- Don't worry about Erik. – he turned back from the door as he was preparing to leave. – He is in good hands.
As if anyone was worried about that little monster. Who cares? I yawned and closed my eyes. Why isn't it a boy?
ERIK
Sacha still didn't come home. It was a day ago I sent her to the church. As Father Mansart later told me, she did not come with him, she was left behind in the church garden. I wanted to go and search for her as soon as night comes, but my plan was ruined by the arrival of Mlle Perrault. She came to the news that spread in the village, that I had a sister and my mother was dying. She came here to take care of us, and she wasted a lot more energy to take care of me than she should have. She kindly sent me to bed and did not let me out to search for Sacha.
- You know, it is not a good idea, Erik, dear. A child at your age should be in bed now. And I am sure Sacha will be home by morning. Maybe… maybe she found a rabbit…
Her speech was at least believable. Needless to say, I didn't sleep much that night. I was looking out the window to see if Sacha arrives in the garden, but she did not show up all night.
Marie Perrault was like a real mother to us. She fed us, even though I did not eat much anyway, but because of Sacha's disappearance, I could not swallow a single bite. She took care of my sister. I was later informed I named her Alexandrine "Sacha". I was happy about the news, one couldn't have given her a better name than this. It was the sweetest name to me back then. Even out of my intent, I named her properly.
It wasn't easy for poor Mlle Perrault to bear my tantrums towards the end of the day. I was half crazy of worry; I blamed myself and later on, my poor sister for losing my dear Sacha. Mlle Perrault had to lock me in my room at seven o clock, because I am ashamed to admit, but I grabbed the baby out of her hands when she wanted to feed her, and I yelled at her that it was her fault and she will pay for it. I kicked the closed door with great violence, but a sudden noise silenced me in seconds.
I heard her bark.
- Sacha! – I ran to the window with great excitement, and opened it to be able to climb out to the tree next to the window, but my leg stopped in mid air.
Sacha's barking wasn't like usual. She was howling. Some moments later, I could even see her, she was walking slowly and painfully, and she lay down in the grass, not too far from the gate. I jumped out to the tree, and climbed down, not even bothering to pay attention to Marie Perrault's constant horrified screaming in the living room's window.
- No, Erik dear! Don't do it, Erik, dear! Go back to your room, Erik, dear!
I ran to Sacha to pick her up and carry her in the house. A I arrived closer, I could see a wound on her side and chest. She was bleeding!
- Sacha! No! – I screamed in horror. I reached down for her and picked her up from the ground, and ran back in the house with her to take care of her. She was dirty from her blood and dirt. Most likely she was shot or stabbed in the village and she escaped from the angry villagers and was trying to reach the house all by herself. I tried my best to bandage her wounds and to give her water to drink. I was right by her side, petting her head and telling her not to be afraid. I stroke the soft fur on her back, cleaning her with a wet cloth. I could care less what mother will say if she sees the dirty puddle on her rug. I was ready to tell her my not really nice opinion if she dared to complain by only a word. Mlle Perrault was standing behind my back, sometimes she put her hand on my shoulder. I was grateful for her presence and support, even though I did not show it to her.
Sacha, my dear sweet Sacha, however being a strong, defending and clever girl, sadly could not win this battle. She was too old, and seriously wounded, and her tortured body gave up the battle in the end. She passed away in my arms, not much before midnight. I kissed her goodnight for the last time, and covered her up with her favorite blanket. I went outside to dig her grave in the backyard.
It was half past one when I finished Sacha's funeral. She got a Requiem mass as well, and I planned to carve a mark for her grave the next morning. I was very tired and went to bed, just as I was, sweaty and dirty. I fell on my bed exhaustedly, and cried myself to sleep.
I woke up to a strange, very hot air coming in the window. And it wasn't only heat, but a choking smoke as well. It was very hard to see things in my room anymore and I was coughing. I jumped out of my bed, quickly grabbed my violin from under the bed and ran to the other bedroom where Marie Perrault was sleeping. While running, I could see the whole living room and dining room downstairs was already on fire, threatening orange flames were destroying mother's precious dining table, chairs, and the very expensive curtains. I knocked on the door and made as much noise as I could, even though the smoke was irritating my eyes and throat. Marie Perrault got so horrified when she opened the door that she could not say or do anything. Panic was forming in her brain and I knew I can't let it getting worse, as it will lead to all of us dying in the most horrible way. I pushed her roughly on the side and yelled at her.
- Go, help my mother! We have to escape through the cellar window! Hurry!
She seemed to get a bit calmer, and she ran to mother's bedroom. She put a tucker on mother's shoulder to protect her and woke her up. She did not seem to be fully conscious, but at least she was following Mlle Perrault to the cellar, and it made me possible to take care of Sacha. I ran to the cradle to pick her up and run to the cellar with her, but to my horror the cradle was empty.
- Sacha! – I cried out in horror and was frantically searching for the baby in the room. I could not find her anywhere near the bed, nor in the whole bedroom. I ran to the cellar, but Marie and mother were already outside. I could not see them in the backyard any more, I was sure they were escaping to the Rouemar forest. I had no time to waste, I had to search for Sacha, and flee with her.
I was running through the house, I couldn't find her anywhere upstairs, not even in the guest bedroom. It seems Marie did not take Sacha with her to sleep. As I could not find her upstairs I knew I had to run to the fire to search for her if she isn't already dead.
I was heading to the living room as fast as I could, and I finally heard Sacha's terrified cries seeking for help. I did not care about the many sources of danger and ran to the sound's direction. Sacha was placed in a blue carrycot that Marie brought as a gift not much before Sacha's birth. She was next to an armchair with the knitting basket. I am sure Mlle Perrault was knitting something and as she went to bed she forgot about Sacha. I couldn't blame her, she was very new to the household and even I forgot about her sometimes. I picked up the carrycot, and was running towards the cellar with it. I could feel some hot pieces of coal touching my shirt, my hair and my mask, but I did not care. The heat caused the window glasses to explode, and one piece of shattered glass flew right in my arm that held the carrycot. Even the blanket around Sacha got a few glass powder and some minor pieces of glass, but thankfully they did not hurt her.
I finally found myself outside with her, in our backyard, with the violin in one hand and the carrycot in the other. I ran out of the backyard, a few meters away from the house and I could not move any longer. I was extremely tired, I felt dizzy, I was coughing and was afraid I am going to die in a few seconds, I put my sister down on the ground and I sat down beside her. I can't remember anything else for a time.