AN: Sorry for the long wait. Life got in the way. So without wasting any time, I present before you Chapter 8 of Tryst with Perdition...
Chapter 8
An agonizing scream tore through his throat as his entire body succumbed to excruciating pain. His voice was hoarse from continuous screaming, his breathing reduced to breathless gasps. His arms and legs were bound tightly in inescapable snares that affixed him to the torture rack. Waves of fear and dread engulfed him as he relived his worst nightmares.
"Dean, you know that resisting me is futile. Come now, open your eyes and let me see those emerald jewels , my boy!" A deceptively sweet voice whispered in his ears.
He resolutely kept his eyes shut. He didn't dare open them to witness the carnage that was his body, to see the everlasting fires and eternal bloodbath of hell. The anguished screams of thousands of tortured souls echoed in the background.
"But this can't be right….I got out…I was saved by Castiel…I was back with Sam…I got out…" He thought to himself, even as doubt and uncertainty trickled in his mind. He got out of hell…right?
"Oh, Dean! Dean! Dean!" Alistair cackled maniacally. "You poor, poor boy! You still hope for freedom! Don't you know? You can never escape me! You are mine! For the rest of eternity!"
A flash of blinding pain erupted in his body as Alistair plunged a knife deep into his abdomen and then twisted it viciously. Another scream escape from his mouth before trailing off in whimpers.
"You escaped hell because I wanted you to, Dean. I wanted you to have a taste of freedom before I yanked you back again. I wanted you to think that you were safe and sound with Sam again before I separated you from your brother again." Alistair said, thrusting the knife delicately under the skin again.
"No, no, no. You're lying." He whimpered.
"Oh, but I'm not! It was an ingenious torture, don't you agree? But the game has gone on long enough and now I want you back. And I will have you, boy!" He clenched his eyes shut tightly, hoping… praying that the words spoken to him were untrue. But he lost all train of thought as pain dominated him again.
"You're mine, Dean. And no matter what you do, my boy, I will have you back."
Dean woke up drenched in sweat and trembling in fright. The residual memories of hell hovered over his mind in a haze that left him confused and disoriented. His befuddled brain registered strong restraints encompassing his wrists and he instinctively fought against them.
"Dean! DEAN! Calm down! It's me, Sam! It's just me! Please Dean! Calm down!"
He slowly realised that the restraints binding him were actually his brother's arms, encircling him in their safety. Even so, his body vibrated with nervous energy as adrenaline coursed through his blood.
"Dean! Hey...hey…calm down…okay…I'm here…I'm here…you're safe…you're alright…hey…Dean…you're safe…"
He allowed the feelings of relief and safety to engulf him. Sam's voice lulled him into a lullaby of familiarity and comfort and soothed his taut nerves. He finally gathered the courage to open his eyes.
"Sam…Sammy…is that you?"
"Yeah…yeah…Dean…I'm here…I gotcha…"
Suddenly, his body slumped with overwhelming relief and his eyes brimmed with moisture. Sam was here…he was safe…he wasn't in hell anymore…he escaped…he was safe…
For the first time since his return from perdition, Dean surrendered under the weight of his sufferings from hell. All thoughts of composure and denial were revoked from his mind. For the first time in several years, Dean relinquished the persona of the invincible big brother. For the first time in his life, Dean broke down, sheltered in his brother's arms, and cried.
Sam had finally given up the fight to keep his eyes open and laid down on his bed gratefully. Exhausted from renouncing sleep the previous night and the emotional turmoil that was a constant in his life, his weary body sank into the mattress and succumbed to the much needed rest.
His drowsy mind was, however, yanked from the alluring garden of blissful unconsciousness by a scream that was as terrifying as it was terrified. DEAN…!
Sam hastily abandoned the invitingly warm bed and sprinted towards the living room where Dean had fallen asleep earlier. He ran down the stairs and burst into the room, his eyes impulsively scanning the room for potential threats. Instead, he found his brother thrashing wildly, trapped in the throes of a frightening nightmare.
His breathing hitched unevenly and his eyes stung with moisture at the uncharacteristically vulnerable state of his elder brother. His heart went out to his sibling and ached with the need to help…to do something…anything.
All Sam could do was wrap his arms securely around Dean and offer some comfort through nonsensical words and sounds. Dean fought against his grip for a while but Sam refused to let him go. No, he wouldn't let Dean go…not again.
"Hey…hey…I gotcha Dean…I gotcha…" Sam mumbled, as tears escaped his eyes and trailed down his cheeks at his brother's misery.
But the greatest shock came when his cocky, confident brother who was usually adorned by a devil-may-care smirk actually broke down and cried! Cried! What kind of nightmare was it that reduced his brother to tears?
For a moment, Sam was stumped. This was a rare and exclusive situation afterall. He had never witnessed his brother admit any form of weakness or helplessness. Logically, he had realised at some point in his life that his brother was only human; an exceptional individual, but a human entity nonetheless. Growing up and being introduced to the hardships of life had faded much of the shine from the dazzling image of his brother that his mind had created. The harsh realities of life had depreciated his brother from superhero to just human. But this realization had only strengthened his faith in his brother. Because Dean was no longer a superhuman but a human who performed superhuman feats. Who saved him…protected him. Dean may be human, but he would always be his hero.
That being said, Sam was not only willing but also eager to help his brother. Afterall, even extraordinary humans needed a break sometimes. And after everything Dean suffered in hell; suffered for him; he deserved to have the opportunity to unwind and unravel without fear of ridicule or censure. And Sam was not only willing but also eager to help him along the way.
In the unforgiving darkness of the cold autumn night, the two brothers lay in the comforting arms of one another, reveling in the security and acceptance of each others touch, peaceful and at home in the loving embrace of family. As the cruel world ravaged against them time and time again and threatened them with separation and destruction, they both offered and received assurance and solace and shared the pure contentment that only family can provide.
But as the two brothers rekindled the blazing flame of their brotherly bond, another pair of brothers mourned their own shattered bond that had been shredded due to abandonment, betrayal, hurt and distrust and, despite their grievances, struggled to find their way back to each other.
Castiel sat on a high, bone-white cliff overlooking the mighty expanse of ocean. The water appeared ink-black in color, mirroring the dark night sky. Lightening crashed overhead in the sky and reflected eerily on the raging waters. Giant waves crashed against the high walls of his seat and licked at his dangling legs.
Castiel absently acknowledged that the storming ocean and the depressing weather replicated his own emotions broiling inside of him. Another colossal wave crashed against the jagged rocks and drenched him with painfully cold water. He barely registered the freezing sea-water cloaking his body. He had far more important things to worry about.
Gabriel…Gabriel was alive…Well, he had always suspected that his elder brother was still alive and in hiding but…Gabriel was back…he came back…why?…why now?...after all this time…after he had abandoned him…
The unanswered questions swirled inside him along with the overflowing emotions. Anger…betrayal…rage…hurt…sorrow…grief…misery…loneliness…Tears welled up in his mind again and he allowed them to spill forth, now that there was no one who could witness his moment of weakness.
He recalled, with perfect clarity, his time as a fledgling. When he was just an infant by human standards and still under the charge of the archangel Gabriel. The golden memories swimmed in front of his closed eyelids and he immersed himself in a much happier time.
"Castiel? Cassie, where are you?" Castiel heard an anxious Gabriel flying between the trees of the heavenly forest and searching for him but he made no move to make himself known. He buried himself deeper into the shrubbery when he felt his care-taker land in front of him.
"Oh! Cassie, what are you doing here, kiddo? Are you crying?" Gabriel knelt down beside him and ran an affectionate hand over his head.
"N…No…I..I'm..N..no..not…" But his hoarse voice and damp cheeks gave the lie away.
"Come now, kiddo. You can tell me what's wrong." Gabriel gently urged.
"I got l..left behind..again. I…I can't..can't fly fast enough…to catch up…I…I always get…left behind."
"Oh Cassie…you're still young…I'm sure you'll fly even faster than your friends when you grow up. But until then, you've still got me to wait for you."
"You'll wait for me?"
"Always, kiddo! I promise!"
"Come on, kiddo! We need to fly faster!"
"Gabriel! Why are we hurrying?" A young Castiel asked, trying to keep up.
"Because I messed up Raphael's nest and redecorated it in pink and now she's angry!" Gabriel replied with a grin.
"Gabriel, why would you do that?" Castiel asked, wincing as lightening lit up the sky. Raphael was furious.
"Because kiddo, it's fun to see Raphael get mad!"
"GABRIEL!"
"Fly, Cassie, fly! Before she catches up."
"Gabriel, you're going to get me in trouble. Again!" Castiel yelled.
"Come on, Cassie, you know you love me!"
"Don't leave me behind Gabriel!" Castiel begged, fearful at the thought of facing Raphael alone.
"Never, kiddo. I'll never leave you behind."
"Gabriel? Gabriel, where are you?"
Castiel tore through heaven in search of the archangel.
"Gabriel? ….Gabriel?" He called out desperately. Something was wrong…very wrong.
"I'm sorry, Castiel. Gabriel is gone."
"Gone? Gone where?" Castiel asked hopefully.
"Gabriel left heaven, Castiel. He's gone. And he's not coming back."
"Gabriel…left...?" Castiel whimpered as tears slid down his face and his wings sank in grief.
"Gabriel…left…me…?
Castiel sat silently on his perch, submerged in his memories, and remained silent even as his grace recognized the intruder that had interrupted his flashbacks. Though his body remained immobile, he could feel his grace, his very core, quiver in agitation and restlessness. Ghosts of broken promises and heartless lies haunted his mind.
"Cassie…?" Gabriel began in an unusually timid voice.
Castiel couldn't help but flinch at the nickname that hadn't been used to address him in a long, long time.
"Castiel?...Hey, kiddo…it's…it's been a while…" Gabriel said, his voice still resonating with deceptive gentleness and warmth that had always soothed away Castiel's fears and worries. But it failed to do so now. This time Castiel refused to be placated.
"Castiel…I know that what I did was wrong but if you would just listen…"
"You left me, Gabriel! You abandoned me! You…you broke your promise…" His voice was thick and rough and he trailed off before he could dissolve in tears.
"I know kiddo…I know I hurt you…and I have no right to ask for forgiveness…but…"
"Why did you come back, Gabriel? Why now, after you were gone for so long?" It was becoming harder and harder to maintain his composure. Castiel could only hope that he wouldn't give in to his tears in front of his brother.
"Believe it or not, but I have been looking out for you ever since you were assigned to earth. When I saw that you were in trouble, I had to do something…"
"Why? Why even bother? Since when do you care about my well-being, brother?" Gabriel winced as Castiel almost sneered at the word 'brother'; yet another reminder of his failure.
"Castiel! Of course I care! I know that I haven't been your big brother in a while but you're still my little brother!"
"Really?" Castiel couldn't help but question, disbelief saturating his voice. Though he had yet to turn around, he could sense that Gabriel was losing his temper.
"Don't you dare doubt that I care for you, kiddo! You can yell at me, punch me or hurt me. You can even refuse to forgive me. But never, never doubt my love for you!"
Castiel paused at Gabriel's declaration. It sounded so sincere…yet…could it be true…? He began in a soft, almost tired voice. "Then why did you leave, Gabriel? Why?"
"Would you listen, kiddo? I'm afraid all I can give you is a well-meaning excuse. I've realised that I have no explanation, that there can be no explanation for my mistakes; only excuses."
Gabriel moved to sit down beside Castiel after receiving a somber nod and continued.
"After Lucifer's fall, everything changed. Despite Michael and Lucifer's disputes, I'd never thought that things would escalate so much. I'd never imagined…..…But then Father decreed that Michael was to banish Lucifer to hell. I was heartbroken. Despite his flaws, Lucifer and Michael were still my elder brothers. I couldn't bear to watch them tear our family apart. So I went to Lucifer. I tried to talk some sense into him. I tried to reason with him. He didn't listen. And the next day, he was cast into the cage." Gabriel paused to take a deep breath and exhaled with a sigh.
"After that day, Michael was well and truly broken. Him and Lucifer had been close, you know. There was a time when they loved each other. Michael took Lucifer's exile the hardest. And then Father disappeared. We were all devastated. I had only half made up my mind to leave. I was debating whether I should take you with me too. You were so young; I didn't want to leave you behind in a heaven that had become so broken. But I didn't want to leave our home either. I remained undecided. " Castiel looked up at Gabriel in surprise but the elder did not meet his eyes.
"Michael changed after Lucifer's fall. He became cold and emotionless; the embodiment of the perfect soldier. He found out that…that I had tried to reason with Lucifer the day before the fall. He was convinced that…that I had tried to disobey Father's orders. He was furious. We had a huge fight that day. I couldn't stand my own brother turning against me, doubting me. So…so I left heaven. I left you. I thought that I was protecting you. I thought that you would be safer in heaven now that Michael thought that I…."
"Please believe me, Cassie. My only regret has been leaving you. I know that doesn't redeem me for my cowardice, for abandoning you and never coming to find you, but I…I hope…that…someday …you could…forgive me…"
With those words Gabriel surrendered to the onslaught of tears and emotions that he had kept locked up for so many millennia. Castiel, now much more appeased and satisfied than he had ever expected to be, wrapped his arms and his wings around the wreaked frame of his estranged brother and allowed his own tears to slip by. The two reunited brothers forged the strings of their bond anew and instigated the healing and mending of ancient wounds that were finally beginning to be restored to health again.
AN: Lots of brotherly love and emotional drama this time. Hope you enjoyed. Review and let me know!