Carol washed her face and tried her best to get the blood off her dress, but it didn't wash off, so she buttoned up her jacket. She went to see Sophia, managing to avoid both Daryl and Shawn. She peered through the window, seeing Sophia asleep, and her heart broke. She never wanted to see Sophia like this. She had left to avoid this. God.
"Hey."
She looked over at Daryl. "Why are you here?" Her voice was small, not bitter.
"Shawn called me on the way." He stepped closer. "I wanted to make sure she was okay."
"Just in case she's yours, you mean." She crossed her arms.
"I didn't—"
"What's that?" She noticed something pink sticking out of his pocket.
"Oh, I just..." He pulled out a small pink bear. "It was in the gift shop, and you had a shit ton of stuffed animals, so I figured she might like somethin' to...cuddle, I guess."
She smiled. "That's uh, really sweet."
"Here."
"No, you give it to her. I need to talk to the doctor, find some Kleenex, and I'd really be grateful if you stayed with her."
He looked a little uncomfortable with the idea, but he nodded and went into the room, glancing back at Carol who gave him an encouraging nod before going to find the doctor. He sat down and looked her over. She was very pale, her red hair seemed so dark against her skin, and she looked so tiny. She looked fragile and just like Carol. There were no little hints or features that belonged to anyone else.
He leaned over and set the bear on her stomach where her hands overlapped.
"Mmm..." Sophia gripped his fingers tightly, but didn't wake up.
"Uhh? Sophia?"
She exhaled softly, but didn't release his fingers.
He waited ten minutes before trying to gently move her fingers. He didn't want to hurt her or wake her, but he didn't want to overstay his welcome. Carol wasn't angry at him for coming. She seemed almost broken when Shawn was talking to her. He was really starting to worry, even if he was trying not to.
"Need a hand?" Carol entered the room.
"What'd the doctor say?"
"She needs a lot of rest, and he prescribed a painkiller, but she'll scar." She tenderly freed Daryl's fingers and let Sophia grip the pink bear.
"What happened?"
"We were having lunch with a friend and her daughter. The girls were across the street, playing with puppies, and when it was time to go, Sophia was coming to me—" Her voice broke. "I wasn't looking to tell her to stay, and she got hit by a car."
He frowned.
"I shouldn't have let her out of my sight or let her play across the street. God—"
"It ain't your fault." He closed the space between them. "Shit happens. Sophia's alive. This ain't your fault."
"It always was my fault," she muttered.
"Carol, it ain't your fault." He set a hand on her shoulder and pulled her awkwardly into a hug.
She didn't want a hug, but she needed a hug, and his was so familiar. He still smelled like home, and his arms were strong around her. Her knuckles hit his shoulder blades then she splayed her hand on his shoulder blades and gripped his shirt tightly, burying her face in his chest. Still, he put her at ease.
Maggie crashed into Beth when she abruptly stopped just before entering Sophia's room, and she tried to ask what, but Beth waved her hand in Maggie's face to get her to shut up. They peered inside and saw Carol in Daryl's arms. Beth was grinning while Maggie picked petals out of her teeth, and Beth noted Carol's hands tightening on Daryl's leather vest. She was hoping this might happen, and if they were going to try and "just be friends", she might just have to push.
"What are you doing?" Shawn was across the hall. "You look ridiculous, and you have a petal in your hair, Mag."
"Thanks." She stood up and went into the room. "Carol, I tried to bring flowers, but Beth killed 'em."
Carol stepped back and smiled at what little flowers remained. "It's the thought that counts. She's out cold anyway."
"Well, here." She held them out, and Carol took them. "She looks so small." She sat down beside Sophia.
"Who gave her the bear?" Beth sat down on the bed.
Carol glanced at Daryl, Shawn noticed, and Daryl didn't want them to know that Sophia may be his, because he knew Carol didn't tell them that. "I did," Shawn said.
"Not to be rude, but why are you here, Daryl?" Maggie narrowed her eyes, suspecting there may be more to Carol's story than she let on.
"I called him." Shawn leaned against the wall.
"Why?" Beth turned to face Shawn.
"I called T and Jacqui too. It's a habit." He shrugged, still the master of storytelling in the family. "I also was having car trouble, so..."
"You asshole!" Beth hit him.
"You wanted to know why," he defended.
"What car trouble?" Daryl stepped out of the room, and Shawn followed.
"She looks good," Beth commented, taking Carol's hand and squeezing it.
"She'll be fine." Carol smiled a little. "It's just... I wish I could've done something."
"Carol, what could you have done?" Maggie demanded. "Honestly? You would've been hit by the car instead of Sophia, and who knows what damage that car would have done to you. Sophia will be fine, and if she's anything like us, she'll like the scar. Let's hope she doesn't name it."
"I was six," Beth protested. "And it looked just like the moon."
Carol and Maggie laughed, and Beth rolled her eyes. They talked a for a while longer then Beth and Maggie went home with Hershel, Shawn grabbed dinner for him and Carol, which he was going to force her skinny, pasty tail to eat, and Daryl hung around the waiting room, trying to decide if he wanted to talk to her or not.
"Shawn, stop. I hate honey mustard!" She ducked and dodged the curly fry that was covered in honey mustard and coming at her. "Stop!"
He chuckled and ate it. "You're still a kid."
"You're still a jerk." She ate a curly fry. "So, you're not mad at me anymore?"
"No, kid, I'm not mad." He met her eyes. "But you have secrets."
"What?" She shifted in her seat, crossing her legs. "I have no secrets. I'm an open book."
"Yeah, an open book with invisible ink littering your pages." He searched her face. "I know you, Carol, and you're hiding something. You can tell me."
She dropped her head, wiping her fingers on a napkin. "I'm full. I'm going to wash my hands."
"Carol, don't pull away. What are you afraid of?"
What wasn't she afraid of? She closed the door and leaned against it, shutting her eyes and attempting to clear her mind. She wasn't going to think about the answer to the question. She needed to focus on Sophia. She needed to accept that there was nothing she could've done, and Sophia was fine. She was going to stay by her side and ignore Shawn until he went home. Or until he fell asleep.
She used the bathroom and washed her hands slowly then opened the door. Shawn was gone and so were the food wrappers. Daryl had replaced them. She smiled a little at him and crossed her arms.
"Shawn left."
"I figured as much." She climbed onto the bed. "Are you heading home?"
"Yeah."
"About Sophia...I know you want to know if you're her father, and honestly, I do too, but I told Sophia her father was dead, so...if you are her father, she'll be angry at me for lying, and she may even be confused." She was also scared that if he was the father, how that could change their already rocky relationship.
"I can still be there," he offered. "With you workin' on the house and all—"
"Wait, you want me to work on your house now?" Why didn't he call? It didn't matter, she supposed.
"Yeah."
"C'mere." She took his hand and pulled him closer, lowering her voice just in case Shawn was hanging around—not that it matter after what she just said. "If we're gonna do this, we're gonna need rules."
"Okay, rules." He nodded. "What are they?"
"Given our history, I would really appreciate if you kept your personal life...to yourself. I doubt I'm ever going to date again, so don't worry." Daryl's lip twitched. "When Sophia's with me, no drinking or smoking or women, please."
"I wouldn't do that."
"I know, but they're just rules." She shrugged. "Umm, no cussing with her around either. And you are helping me paint. You're taller than me, and I don't like ladders or closets. I don't mind Merle being around her as long as you watch him. He's a bad influence."
"Merle's changed, Carol. A lots happened since you left."
She nodded. "Uh, do you have any rules?"
"Respect my space."
"I can do that." She tucked hair behind her ear. "How soon do you want me there? I'll need to take care of Sophia first, of course, but I don't want to interrupt your life."
"As soon as Sophia feels better, just come on over. That key's yours to keep. Er, till you're done."
"Are you sure? You won't mind me barging in on you at any time?"
"Tsk, no. Knock first."
She smiled. "All right, Daryl Dixon, your house is mine."
– – –
Beth and Maggie decided to have a small welcome home party for Carol and Sophia since they didn't get a chance to before the accident, and Sophia was coming home today, so it seemed perfect. Hershel and Shawn didn't dare enter the house while they were preparing, and Shawn was tempted to warn Carol, but he had a lunch date that might run over. He was taking photos tonight, so he was leaving early and warning Carol was the last thing on his mind.
"Why do I feel like I'm going to be attacked if I open that door?" Carol asked her father while shouldering Sophia's bag.
Hershel simply chuckled.
"Dad?" She narrowed her eyes.
"Go inside and see."
"Great. I just wanted a quiet evening with popcorn and DVDs." She looked at Sophia. "You ready, kiddo?"
"Sure."
"That's not enthusiastic, but let's go."
They went inside and found everyone Carol's ever known inside. Jacqui was there, T-dog, Lori, Rick, Andrea, Tyreese, Sasha, Lilly with her sister Tara, Lacey, Duncan, Ryan and there were a couple of kids playing games in the den. Carol wanted to leave, but Maggie and Beth weren't going to let that happen. Carol let Sophia hang out with the kids since most of them went to the same preschool as her, and Carol was dragged into twenty-five million questions. Most of them were about Sophia and the missing five years, and Maggie helped her along since Beth was too busy with the kids, and Hershel was out back with Otis avoiding people. It was suffocating, but it reminded Carol of her eighteenth birthday, only without Daryl.
– – –
That night Maggie curled Carol's hair for the small party for her eighteenth birthday while Beth and Annette went through her closet to find something that would make her look like a young adult, not a dusty ninety-five year old—not even that. Carol had strange taste in clothes. Beth had no idea where it came from either.
"Isn't this excessive?" Carol asked, looking over the shiny coat of black cheery hued nail polish Beth had applied.
"No." Maggie released a bouncy curl. "You only get one eighteenth birthday, and we only get one party until my birthday."
"So, it's my day then?"
Maggie laughed, and Carol rolled her eyes. "Daryl's gonna be there."
"So?" She could hear the annoyance in her voice. It happened every time they fought, and her choice of words were poor. She needed to talk to him, but she was hoping to do that tomorrow.
"'So'?" Annette frowned. "Did something happen?"
"No, I just... I'm mad at him right now."
"Well, get over it." Beth pulled a dress that Carol had gotten last year from Andrea, but never wore because Hershel disapproved of the length. It was one of her favorites too. The draped silhouette is styled with tiered ruffles detailing the skirt, shimmering buttons fasten the half-placket, and spaghetti straps tie at shoulders. Hated deeply by Dads everywhere. "This is the one time Daddy's willingly let Daryl come to a party where no one is supervising."
Carol blinked. "What?"
"Hold still." Maggie turned her head back and finished the last curl then let her go.
"Didn't I tell you?" Annette hung the clothes Beth had rejected back up. "Your father and I are going into town for dinner after the cake is cut and the gifts are open."
"You're trusting me?" Carol narrowed her eyes.
"And Shawn." She nodded.
Carol set a hand on her mother's forehead then grasped her wrist. "Are you my mother?"
"Don't push it." She poked Carol's forehead. "We need time to ourselves, and we're trusting you all. Don't ruin this."
"We won't," Beth promised.
About two hours later, Carol greeted her guests with a smiling while trying to adjust to wedges. She was used to tennis shoes and flats, but Beth had picked out this outfit and all of her other shoes were still missing. She was hoped she didn't fall, not in this dress.
Lori brought a few friends, but Carol only knew Rick and Ryan. They were in her chem class. She just smiled and hoped none of them brought any alcohol. She got worried when Andrea came, but she trusted Andrea to remember her dad's rules. She felt reassured when Amy came in. Andrea would protect her from anything wrong. Thank God she and Beth were friends.
"Let someone else do that." Lori pulled Carol into the living room after most of the guests had arrived. "It's your birthday."
"I know. I'm just waiting for Daryl."
"Don't hold your breath." Andrea held out a cup. "I saw him on my way here—going the opposite way."
"Oh? Well, he probably had something to do." Carol took the cup.
"More important than your birthday?"
"There are more important things than me in his life, Andrea."
"Okay, none of this." Lori took the cups and set them down. "I'll play music and you'll dance, okay?"
"Great. Now I get to embarrass myself and piss off a friend."
Andrea smiled. "Just embarrass yourself."
Lori turned on the stereo, letting a random station play since it was old and hard to deal with. Daddy refused to buy a new one, because it still worked. Carol was fond of the old radio. It reminded her of her father. He loved antiques.
"No, no, no." Lori grasped Carol's shoulders and shook her once. "No tears."
"Uh?" She felt a tear on her cheek. "Oh, I'm sorry." She wiped her eye carefully as to not smear her makeup. "I was just thinking."
"Your dad?" Andrea guessed.
"Yeah." She took a deep breathe. "I'm okay. Let's dance."
Once Lori and Andrea started dancing, everyone did—it was one of perks of being two of the most popular girls in school. Maggie and Beth abandoned their places and started to dancing. It wasn't forced either. However some of her friends shouldn't be allowed to dance, not even by themselves, and she tried not to laugh. She wasn't confident in her dancing since most of it was behind locked doors or random while cleaning. She didn't have a choice when Lori and Andrea saw her standing there, and made her. She hoped no one was paying attention as she started dancing.
Annette and Hershel were watching by the stairs as the small group of high schoolers danced, having their own fun and laughing at some of them. Their laughs couldn't be heard over the music, so they laughed outright and loudly.
Daryl walked into the house, hearing the loud music and laughter. He tempted to leave the minute he saw all of the people, but he wasn't going to leave Carol pissed at him on her birthday. He had his reasons for being an ass. He hoped she listened. He needed to find her first.
Scanning the mass of people, he finally found her. She and Beth were laughing and dancing. He looked her over, not used to her so dressed up, and he suddenly felt very possessive. Everyone knew Carol was his girl, but now he felt the need to enforce it, especially with that other ginger watching her. Who was that kid? Did he even know Carol? He was probably one of Andrea's...things. He wasn't sure what they were to her, but she had a lot of them.
"Carol," he called to her.
She saw him and tried to get free, but Beth didn't let her. "Beth, let go."
"Fine, ruin your night." She released her hand. "Can I say I told you so later?"
She pushed her face back then moved through the people and walked over to him. "You came."
"Two hours late," he added. "Sorry."
"We need to talk."
"Yeah, we do."
She started to walk outside, but her mom said it was time to cut the cake. She held up a finger and joined her friends and family in the kitchen. Shawn aspired to be a photographer so he was taking all the pictures, and Carol was glad, because the last time Beth took pictures and everyone's heads were cut off. It was different now, and she had a feeling it keep being different. Like after tonight, everything was going to change. For the better was all she could wish for as blew out the candles.
Annette gave Carol and Shawn the rules before she and Hershel left. Shawn told her he'd take photos and make sure no one drank any alcohol so she could enjoy the party, and Carol thanked him as she looked for Daryl. She couldn't find him, and she felt her stomach tying up in knots.
"Bedroom." Lori was suddenly beside her.
"Bedroom?" Carol asked over the music.
"That's where Daryl is. He wanted me to tell you." She smiled. "We'll save you some cake."
"Oh, ha ha." She rolled her eyes and headed up the stairs. She poked her head into her bedroom and found the window out. She frowned and started to close it when Daryl appeared. "God!" She jumped back, and he chuckled. "What are you doing?"
"C'mere."
"Do you know what kind of shoes I'm wearing?"
"So? Take 'em off."
"No, just give me your hand." He held his hand out, and she climbed out. "So, you wanna talk now?"
"Nah." He slid down and jumped.
"Daryl!" She leaned over and found him smirking up at her. "I'm going to kill you!"
"C'mon down!"
"No. I refuse." She crossed her arms.
"Why's that?"
"Because you're an asshole."
"Thought you knew that."
She removed her shoes and threw them at him, he simply caught them, and she carefully climbed down. "What now?" She took her shoes. "Do you want to talk or not?"
"C'mon." He turned around and bent down.
"What are you doing?" She was trying not to smile. "A piggyback ride? Are you serious?"
"Yeah, a serious piggyback ride. It'll be faster."
She got onto his back, feeling awkward because of what happened yesterday, and she tried to not touch his upper back too much. He carried her out to the barn, Carol wondered why the barn of all places, and she figured it was because the barn was the only place none of her friends ever went. Shawn would keep them in the house or try to, and if they ventured out onto the farm, they would be too lazy or too scared to come all the way out here.
She giggled at his comment as he arrived at the barn and gripped him tighter. She was still mad at how dismissive he was, but she was glad he was here. She wouldn't want to spend her birthday without him.
He set her down, they climbed up to the hayloft and she was surprised to find blankets and battery-operated lanterns. He sat down, and she tried to ask him if this is why he left this morning, but she was speechless. She just smiled and sat beside him.
"Thirsty?" He was digging through hay.
"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" She tucked a curl behind her ear.
He pulled out a basket and opened it, pulling out two bottles of green tea. "Here."
"Okay, what's going on?" She accepted the bottle and opened it.
"I asked Andrea and Lori to help distract you while I did this. Shawn, too."
"And this is?"
"My gift. It ain't a good gift, but ask me anything, and I'll tell you."
She lowered the bottle. "Are you serious?"
"Yeah."
She couldn't think of a question. All of these years and tons and tons of questions piled up, but the moment he wants to tell her anything she wants to know, she's got nothing to ask. "Okay, tell me something, my brain's dead right now."
"It didn't start till my mom was dead."
She swallowed hard. "You were twelve."
He nodded.
"That's horrible. Why didn't you tell anybody?"
"Who was there to tell?"
"Me!"
"So you could what? Tell your daddy and have him send me off to foster care? Have the whole town know and give me even more pathetic looks?" He shook his head. "Hell no."
"Why? Why did he do this to you?"
"'Cause Merle was gone."
"He abused Merle too?" She was shocked. Merle was a big guy, very strong, very arrogant. She couldn't imagine someone beating him. He didn't seem like the type to take it. She didn't want to think about Daryl in that way. Part of her kept hoping it was all a lie, but it wasn't. "And Merle just left you all alone with that abusive bastard?"
"Guess he didn't care enough." He shrugged.
"I doubt that. Merle would do anything to keep you safe."
"Why do you do that?" He searched her eyes.
"Do what?"
"Give everyone the benefit of the doubt."
"Because that's how I was raised. Besides, if I didn't, I never would've gotten to know you. I haven't regretted that." She smiled at him, and he felt a blush on his cheeks. "Do they still hurt?"
"Sometimes."
"Why did you protect me?" she whispered. "I could've taken it."
"Why?" He scoffed. "Carol, I wasn't gonna let him hurt you! Not then, not ever!"
"That's why you never invited me inside." Her eyes burned.
"He drinks all the damn time, and I wasn't gonna chance it. You mean too much to me, and I woulda killed him."
"Daryl." She climbed onto his lap and hugged him. "I love you, and I'm so sorry. I wish he wasn't like that." She wished she would've seen it. She wished she could've protected him. It wasn't going to help anybody by wishing, but at least he would know that she would never run. Nothing he told her would make her leave.
He rested his forehead against her, and for the first time, he felt closer to her than ever. He'd always felt a great distance between them, no matter how close she physically was to him, but he didn't feel that now. He felt safe and at home. He'd always been gravitating toward her light, and he wasn't afraid anymore. "I love you too."
"What did you just say?" Her voice was airy and tears glistened in her eyes. "You've never said that to me before."
He grasped her cheeks. "I'm saying it now." He kissed her gently, his fingers slipping into her soft curls, brushing her earrings. He could taste the citrus from the tea on her tongue, and he noticed she was kissing him with a longing. He didn't want to forget tonight. She was leaving in three months, and he was going to make the most of their time together.
She pulled back, breathless. "We should go back," she murmured, "Shawn's in charge, and they're probably destroying the house."
"Yeah?"
"But I don't care." Her heart was racing. "And I don't want to stop, so please tell me you have a condom."
"I don't."
She bit her lip then remembered what he said. "Lori, you said?" He nodded, and she searched the basket, finding a lovely note from Lori and Andrea with a few "gifts" inside. "For once I'm glad I have prevents for friends." She met his eyes. "Do you want to?"
"Yes, I do." He grasped her hand, taking the condom. "But are you sure? We're in a barn."
"I don't care about the place. All I care about is you. All I want is want you." She smiled at him. "I love you."
"I love you." He pulled her closer and kissed her. He could feel she was nervous, so was he, but they weren't kids. They were adults, and this was something would eventually do. Something they wanted to do. They had protection, and no one was going to rush into the barn, so they had privacy too. They could just be with each other, and that was the best gift anyone could've given her.
His hand slid up her smooth skin toward her shoulder and tugged on the tied strap of her dress, causing it to untie. He did the same to the other side, and her dress slipped down to her hips, leaving her in the white slip. He shifted and set her gently down on her back, breaking the kiss and tugging the first layer off her.
"How did I know you'd want to be on top?" she teased.
He chuckled against her lips, not bothering to comment. Carol was surprised at how she felt about this. She loved how Daryl felt against her, all of his weight and warmth, and soon all of his skin. She was also amazed at how good his hands felt against the bare skin on her back, gently massaging at her muscles, and she felt as if her breathing was too loud, but as his kiss deepened once more, all of her thoughts were scattered.
There was awkward and nervous fumbling, but mostly from Carol. She had always thought of herself as someone who'd lose her virginity on her wedding night, but that was before she and Daryl started dating. They'd gotten so close so many times, but knowing that they weren't going to stop tonight wasn't as overwhelming as she thought it would be—it was worse. After tonight, she was really going to be an adult, going off to college and starting a new life. She hoped that Daryl would be apart of that new life. She didn't want to be without him, because he was a part of her. He always would be, and no matter how far away she went or how much time passed, she would love him deeply for the rest of her life.
––
"Could you smile any more?" Daryl whispered when they rejoined the party, munching on a handful of caramel corn.
"It's my birthday," she retorted. "I have a right to be happy."
He scoffed and took her cup, drinking from it, and she arched a brow, and Shawn took a picture.
"Hey, watch the flash!" Carol groaned.
"Fine, but if anything happens, you'll be sorry I didn't take more pictures." He then took four pictures in a row.
"Shawn, your camera will end up in the duck pond if you don't go away." She glared.
"Shouldn't you be happy right now? Unless you didn't do it righ—"
"Oh, my God!" She grabbed Beth's piece of cake and smashed it into his face. "Shut up!"
Lori and Andrea busted out laugh, Maggie covered her mouth to try and hide her laughter, and Beth sighed. Shawn pealed the plate off, shaking his head, licking icing and cake off his mouth, and Carol took a picture.
"All right, fine. It's your birthday. I'll give you a head start. Five."
"Shawn—"
"Four."
"Okay, fine." She removed her shoes and took off running, bolting out the back door.
"Three, two, one!" He chased after her.
"It's official," Maggie announced. "Carol's an adult."
"Like brother, like sister." Beth crossed her arms. "And just think, we get to do this for you next year."
Maggie smirked. "Five."
"Mag, I was kiddin'."
"Four."
"Are you serious?"
"Three."
"Mag?" Beth backed up. "Maggie, no!"
"Two. One!"
Beth took off running and Maggie chased her.
Daryl shook his head and finished off Carol's drink. Weird ass Greenes.
– – –
"I need some air. Excuse me." Carol left T and Tyreese and stepped outside. She ran her hands through her hair and took inhaled deeply. She looked up and saw somebody across the yard. She squinted and saw Shawn's camera's danging around a woman's neck. She frowned, but as they moved closer, she saw Shawn was with her.
The woman was Sasha Douglas, and she was with Shawn. Actually with Shawn, because they were laughing and kissing and holding hands. Holy shit. Shawn's dating Sasha. When did this happen? And why couldn't she stop staring? There were things she never wanted to know Shawn did when he kissed a girl. Like tongue and grabby hands. She'd learned earlier Shawn was an ass man.
"Running away?" Andrea gripped the railing and smiled at Carol. "What are you—? Ah. Shawn and Sasha? I guess they're on again."
"On?" Carol turned to face Andrea. "Again?"
"They've been on-again, off-again for three years. They were engaged last year, but they called it off. They both weren't ready in the end." She shrugged. "I think Shawn was scared that something would happen...like what happened with you and Daryl."
"What?" Her throat was closing.
"Everyone just knew you and Daryl were going to get married and have beautiful babies, and you almost did, but when you left, it was like...a destruction of fairytale endings."
Carol frowned. She had no idea her relationship with Daryl effected anyone else. If her leaving Daryl was the reason Shawn wasn't married to Sasha with kids of his own who he would love and cherish then she had a lot more to do to make up to them than she thought. How many people had been effected by her leaving than just Daryl? She needed to talk to Shawn, because if he was pushing pause with Sasha because of her disappearing act then she needed to snap him out of it.
"Sophia's really sweet," Andrea broke through Carol's thoughts.
"Huh? Oh, right."
"I'm glad you were able to have a child." She crossed her arms. "Your sisters really seem to adore her."
Carol glanced over at her. "What's wrong?"
"It's just... Since you left, I haven't heard from own sister, and just seeing you all together like old times reminds me that it isn't like before, and I may not even have a sister." She sniffed.
What? Amy told her she talked to Andrea sometimes. Amy lied? Why would she lie about that? Amy never lied before. So...what the hell happened to her that she has to cover it up? Like Carol's lying to cover up the sexual and physical abuse Ed dealt her. God no, not Amy. "Amy's alive, Andrea."
Her eyes brightened. "Have you heard from her? Do you know where she's staying?"
"No, I don't. I'm so sorry. I just saw her the other day...on the street, but it was the same day Sophia got hit by the car, so..."
"What are you saying? Sophia was hit by a car. Besides, you didn't know. God, I'm so sorry that happened to you both."
"Thanks." She was getting tired of hearing sorry. "If you ever want to talk, I have no life."
She laughed, and even Carol laughed. "I may take you up on that offer. C'mon, let's give them some space." She took Carol's arm and led her inside.
The evening wasn't so bad, Carol caught up with Andrea and Lori. Lori was married to Rick Grimes and had a little boy, Carl. She was living across town, but she invited Carol to come over any time she had a chance, because Sophia and Carl were becoming friends. They were actually adorable together, and it was nice that Sophia was making friends with something other than a stuffed animal.
Andrea was single. Her relationship with Shane Walsh ended a while ago, and she was trying to get in touch with Amy, to see how she was, to see if she was still alive even. She was glad that Carol had seen her. Carol wanted to tell her about her job and Paige, but if Amy didn't want Andrea to know then Carol couldn't spill the beans. She'd messed up enough lives as it was.
Carol waited as Shawn and Sasha said goodbye, hidden in the next room.
"I'm glad you could come tonight." He smiled.
"I had time, and I wanted to make sure your niece was okay. When you called, you sounded really distraught. I'm glad she's all right."
"Me too. Little munchkin's really grown on me, and I'm not losing anybody else, not to a car accident."
She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him flush against her. "Do you plan on having your own some day?"
"My own what? My own car accident? No, I plan on that." He smirked.
She repressed an urge to roll her eyes. "Munchkins."
"I don't think I'll ever be mature enough for that." He tucked hair behind her ear. "Is this about us again? 'Cause I thought we talked about this."
"I love you, Shawn Greene, but I won't wait, certainly not forever."
"Look, we'll have dinner tomorrow night, and we'll talk. Actually talk. I'll be mature and no clip-on ties." She laughed. "I love you, Sasha Douglas." He kissed her.
"I'll see you tomorrow."
"Goodbye, beautiful."
"You get tackier as the days go by, you know that?"
"Fine, we're eating at a real shitty place. No napkins or table manners, and really bad lighting."
"I dare you to try." She kissed him. "Good night."
He waited until she was in her car before he closed the door, and he turned. "Come out."
She stepped out, hands up. "Sorry, beautiful, I was curious."
"Ha ha." He folded his arms over his chest. "You're not the only one who found someone."
"You and Sasha?"
"Well, since I don't date my sister's friends, it was her or I become gay."
"I can't believe you're dating Sasha. I'm...stunned. I can't grasp it. I just have the image of Sasha in grade school, you know with the knee socks and braid. Also that one of her firefighter helmet from the third grade."
"Well, she still has the knee socks, but those are only for me." He grinned to himself. "She also wears part of the uniform for only me."
"You're disgusting!" She smacked him, but she smiled. "You two look happy together."
"I do love her. I just... I dunno. I'm not the marrying type." He shrugged. "It's a lot."
"Not really."
"Oh, please. We'd be living together, and everything would come together, like our fiances and clothes and—just no." He sat on the stairs. "Besides, I'm not ready for that."
"Why not?" She took the space beside him. "I always used to talk to you about marriage and kids, but you told me you wanted to get married one day."
"One day in the distant future," he added.
"Does this have anything to do with what happened to me and Daryl? Because marriage didn't destroy our relationship, and I know you—"
"Carol, stop! This isn't about you and Daryl! For once, it's about me and my problems!" He scoffed and left the house.
"Wait, Shawn." She went after him. "What problems?"
"Just leave me be, Carol!"
"Shawn!" She'd never known him to go off that quickly. Normally, he'd hold it in or just walk away. Had she hit her nerve?
"Carol, don't." Beth was holding Sophia, returning from checking the gates. "It's gonna storm tonight, and we have tables out back, so let's just help Mag with the cleanup and leave him be."
She sighed. "Fine. I'll be right in."
"I'm tired." Sophia reached out to Carol. "Tuck me in, please, Mommy."
"Here." Beth gently handed her over. "I'll help Maggie."
Carol looked once more to where Shawn had disappeared then carried Sophia inside. She set her down on her bed, grabbing Dee Dee while Sophia removed her boots. She was already in her pajamas. Carol curled up beside her. "Here you are."
"Where's my little bear?" She snuggled Dee Dee close. "The one Daryl gave me."
"Uhh? I don't know." She grabbed the hospital bag and dug through it. "Ah, here it is." She held it up out of her reach, and Sophia glared. She smiled. "What are you gonna name it?" She handed it to her.
"Him."
"Oh? Him? What's his name?"
"Ethan."
Carol blinked and stammered. "E—Ethan?"
"Yeah." She smiled. "Like the boy in my dreams."
"What?" She felt her heart skip a beat.
"There was a boy named Ethan in my dreams," Sophia explained. "He was there when that car hit me. He was protecting me."
"Protecting you?"
"Uh-huh." She held the pink bear close. "He was so warm. He looked just like Daryl too, and we have the same eyes, I think."
"Honey, what else can you tell me about Ethan?" Carol studied her face to see how serious she was.
"He was small, and he didn't talk, but I knew his name. It was really fuzzy, but I can remember him."
Carol gave Sophia a smile and kissed her forehead. "Baby girl, I love you."
"I love you too, Mommy."
"I'm gonna go brush my teeth, okay?"
"Can we see Daryl tomorrow? I wanna thank him."
"Of course, baby." She slipped out of bed and went to the bathroom. She grabbed her purse and dug out all of the crap she didn't care about right now, and she found the small Ziplock bag. She pulled out the pictures she took that day, seeing the small, pale baby boy who didn't make it. Ethan Russel Dixon, six pounds, five ounce, who looked just like Daryl.
We have the same eyes, I think.
Carol had to know. She owed it to Daryl, to Sophia and to this beautiful baby boy. Tomorrow, she was going to talk to Daryl about it, and they would get a paternity test done, if he wanted.
She held the picture close to her heart and closed her eyes. He may not have made it, but he was still here, looking out for his little sister. "I love you, Ethan." Tears burned in her eyes. "Thank you."