AN: First and foremost: There's an important message at the bottom once you finish reading, so check that out, please.
So, to set the mood for the story, I will be posting a recommended song list for reading the chapter from now on. More specifically, the songs I listened to while reading this. (Probably will be recycled, I listen to a lot of the stuff on the radio (pop) and dubstep.) I got this idea (a music list) from smileplease91, a great author who's prominent on the Fire Emblem archive. Go check her out; she's cool in writing and in PM.
If you can name the movie where I pulled the acronym from, I'll give you a cookie of your choice!
Songs I listened to: (These songs will most likely be rebooted whenever I update this chapter; which means that I'll probably use these same songs when I write the next chapter.)
Sam Smith- Lay Me Down (Not the new radio version, the older one where it has a swing-y feel to it.)
Sam Smith (Again) - I'm Not the Only One
Sam Smith (It's a pattern.) - Stay With Me (Sam Tsui cover)
Varien ft Aloma Steele - Moonlight (Rock mixed with a little electro. The verses are amazingly beautiful.)
Pentatonix - Mary, Did You Know?
Sia - Chandelier (Sam Tsui cover)
John Legend ft Lindsey Stirling - All of Me (This song, I swear. Why'd I listen to it? Oh yeah. To bring back the feels for a better chapter :'(
Tove Lo- Habits (Julia Price cover. Julia Price manages to turn a silly-sounding pop song into an emotionally driven track full of feels and sweet, swinging goodness.)
That about does it for songs, I guess. Take your pick; the options are ample.
Review responses:
asteelyman13: There isn't much else to say that I didn't in the PM. However, I'm very confident that you'll like this chapter, since I basically ripped the emotional part from something that happened in my life. Thanks for reviewing!
bluebloodblues: Dude/ette, you need to make an account so I can PM you. Your wish that you stated in the review will come true. :) I think everyone will be surprised at what I have planned for Murano. Hey! I played FNAF2 for the first time on Wednesday and I discovered that I could beat Night 3 in three tries for my friend who'd been struggling with it for a while. I have a more spastic rhythm than Pewdiepie; however, my friend's gaming mouse is WAY too sensitive compared to my non-gaming one. Ergo, I… messed up on throwing up my mask vs camera, winding the box, etc. That's probably what screwed me over when I died twice xD That game gets me so tense! When I get my own laptop (that has more than 2 GB or fricken RAM) I can only imagine how fast my heart'll get on Night 5. (Not even considering Nights 6/7 yet.)
Well, with that outta the way, I ask that you leave a review, follow, and favorite. My thankfulness doesn't change if you don't review, but if you do, I can personally express my thanks. So, let me personally express my thanks to all you stealth readers out there!
Warning: This chapter is longer than the previous ones. Also, emotional content involved. If you are ill-equipped to handle the feels I ask you to leave. You have been warned. ;)
Chapter 5: Chiseling
Enjoy, my readers! Thanks a boatload, as always! :)
"Oh man, oh man, oh man…" Shinichi muttered over and over whilst pacing around his room. If one looked closely enough, they could probably see the beginnings of an indent from how frequently he was pacing. He knew he shouldn't be nervous; it was just Murano, after all. But he didn't know how to deal with the pressure that she'd just been kicked out of her housing establishment for no good reason at all, and that fact made him simultaneously angry as well as nervous. Not a good combination for Shinichi, of all people.
With a huge sigh, he sat down in his swivel chair and began to spin slowly. Closing his eyes, he took a few deep breaths and tried to calm his raging heartbeat. "All right, all right… you can do this, Shin. It's only Murano; she doesn't judge. Just try to act like it's a normal encounter only with compassion laced throughout my emotions to her."
He sighed again. No, this just wouldn't do. What was that saying he heard so long ago? Shinichi strained his intellectual brain to remember. "The best things…" he paused, unsure of what came next. "The best things… come to us… unexpectedly!" he exclaimed happily, snapping his fingers. "That was it!"
His celebration was cut short by a knock at his bedroom door. She couldn't be here already, could she?! His confidence flew out of the open window just as quickly as it had came. As if it would have helped, he leaped from his chair and slammed the window shut. More specifically, the screen door.
"Shinichi? Can I come in for a sec?" his mom asked, concern lacing her words. What could she want?
"Yeah, ka-san. Come on in," he replied, sitting back down in his chair and trying to busy himself with his computer. His efforts failed him, however.
The mother of the Izumi household came in with a tray of two glasses of iced tea. "It's strawberry-lemonade mixed with iced tea, honey," she exclaimed, setting the tray down on his nightside table. She turned to him, immediately noticing the nervous expression on his face. "Shinichi? What's wrong?"
"Just a little nervous. mom," Shinichi muttered, resting his head on his computer desk. "I don't know what to say, do, or anything."
His mother pondered his words for a second. "Dear, Murano loves being around you. You make her smile and there isn't anything you should do to try and change that."
"So, just be myself?"
"That's exactly right, Shin. She's most comfortable with the real you, so make her comfortable and show her why she likes being around you." His mother winked, then turned to leave. Was that an implication he heard in her voice? He couldn't be sure, but he was certain he could make out a glint in her eye.
"Myself, huh…?" Shinichi thought aloud. He'd never been extraordinary, at least to him. But maybe Satomi was noticing something that he didn't- or couldn't. This was probably a case of when someone couldn't see the simple good they were doing to someone else.
"Is she all right? She seemed pretty upset when I talked to her on the phone last…" he wondered aloud to no one. "I wonder what happened so that her mother would kick her out of their house…" he muttered, scratching his head in puzzlement. However, he remembered her speaking of her mother falling into the bottle recently. Alcohol… god, that thought was terrifying. Losing others because of yourself when you weren't even fully aware of it yet. Then to be hit with the guilt after the buzz faded! Shinichi shook his head. He couldn't begin to fathom how painful that'd be for himself, let alone Murano. He was sincerely looking forward to helping her out, and to see her again. Something about her just sent him into a state of comfort, like when you eat chocolate while on a diet.
But Shinichi wasn't on a diet, nor was Satomi a variable he needed to avoid. Or was she?
Shinichi rubbed his face in exasperation. "I can't be thinking like this so soon to her arrival," he thought. "I've got to get… myself in gear. Nothing else but myself. I can do this."
He wondered where this self-confidence came from.
Satomi sighed heavily, to clear her thoughts swirling around in her head. However, they just wouldn't calm down; they were rampant. Noticing she was already a few minutes late, she figured that he wouldn't care- or notice- how flustered she actually was. Yes, she was definitely still flustered, but she felt eerily calm now that she knew she would be around Shinichi. Not just her childhood friend, but his parents as well, whom she was well acquainted with. His mother made her feel loved and welcome, and his dad- well, he was nice, to say the least. Taking one last affirmative sigh, she slowly pressed the snub of plastic protruding from the brick gate.
Ding… dong…
Satomi shifted from foot to foot every few seconds as time passed when no one opened the door. Did they forget? Did he not want her? No, that couldn't be right. They were the best of friends; they had been for a long time. Surely he would still welcome her, no matter the situation.
Her thoughts became reality as the door opened and a teenage boy with glasses poked his head out. "Hello? Who's- Satomi! Hi! How are you doing? Are you all right?" he blurted out all at once, clearly flustered with what she had just described to him over the phone an hour prior to their meeting now.
He was so cute! She restrained her thoughts and smiled meekly, though she knew he could ascertain it was fake. "One, hello to you too. Two, I'm doing as well as any girl who just got kicked out of her home. Three, besides a bit emotionally unstable, I'm fine."
"Freaked out, insecure, neurotic, and emotional…" the scholarly boy mumbled, rubbing his neck in embarrassment. Shinichi quoted directly from one of his favorite American films. However, movie or not, the words rang true with Murano, and her emotional barrier was chiseled away slightly under the strain of withholding the rampant sea of turbulence within her. Despite trusting Shinichi fully, like no other, she still felt bad to reveal her weak side to him. A sigh billowed up from inside her; she struggled to withhold it from him.
She failed.
"No kidding…" she softly spoke, shifting on her foot out of embarrassment and nervousness. The young woman felt these two emotions more than ever now, with her being in her junior year of high school. She'd pondered the origins of these emotions but couldn't quite decipher where they came from.
Shinichi saw the inevitable emotions begin to show through her pain-laden, hazel eyes. With a small smile, he opened the gate to his house and beckoned inside. "Satomi, it's chilly out and the living room is a better place to talk. Come on inside," he gently said, motioning to the door.
Full of nervous energy, Satomi followed the equally nervous Shinichi up his stairs. The walk up to the door felt strangely longer than it should have. When the door was softly shut, the sound of it closing reminded her of a vise clamping down on whatever future she'd planned out for herself. With no housing establishment, the chances of her succeeding in school was slim to none, let alone getting a job and working to provide for herself. Just the simple chnk of the door shutting chiseled her barrier further. The exhaustion and emotional strife began to show on her face; her eyelids began to droop as the fullness of the situation smacked her in the face.
"Satomi? You look exhausted," Shinichi observed. His own eyes crinkled up with sympathy. He was certain it was difficult for her to go on like this without showing emotional distress. "Saht…" he began, using the childhood nickname he'd assigned her around the same time she began to call him Sheechi. "Y'know, you don't have to be strong anymore. You can go ahead and let the situation chisel your guard away. You know I won't judge you or chastise you."
"Shinichi…" How could he say the same word, chisel, when she was just thinking about it?
"Also, know that whatever happens I'll always be there to support you. I know it's rather cliche, but like you said back at the cafe, it's totally true. If your future is uncertain and you don't know what to do, my family will do our damndest to help you out," he committedly stated, determination burning in his voice. His choice of words did not go unnoticed by Murano, and she lightly giggled, despite how awful she felt.
"Ah, Sheechi. It's been a long time since I heard you swear," she said, covering her mouth with her hand to hide her amusement. But the passages to her soul gave her away her true emotions, making Shinichi feel somewhat bad.
"Ah, yes. I guess it has," he begrudgingly admitted. He scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. "Sorry."
"No no, it's okay," Satomi replied, walking over the the couch and flopped down onto the soft material with an exasperated, overwhelmed, and exhausted sigh. "Definitely freaked out, insecure, neurotic, and emotional," she whispered, letting more of her emotional barrier be chipped away by the comfort Shinichi was emitting easing into her pride. She was becoming more and more comfortable showing him her weaker side, almost eliminating the whole necessity for a facade. But that tiny shred of remaining doubt about herself faded away by the second. Her facade almost shattered, but she steeled her nerves and tried to smile.
She turned to him, eyes almost pleading. "Shinichi… what would you do if you were in my situation?" Satomi asked, nearly mumbling the words out of sheer exhaustion. "Also, can I have something to drink, please?"
"Quite unorthodox in your manner of requesting," Shinichi lightly chuckled, trying to make light of situation. He cleared his throat and shook off his own joke. "Ahem. I'd most definitely be freaked out, insecure, neurotic, and emotional," he softly stated. "And I'd be a mess. Satomi, I know you too well to be deceived by your barrier, y'know. I can see you're trying your absolute hardest to withhold your emotions from me. Why, Saht?"
Hot tears of anguish began to well up within Satomi's eyes. Her hazel passages to the soul glinted against the incandescent light as the emotion-turned-liquid became more prevalent. With a quick motion, Satomi stood up abruptly and shook her head furiously. "Shinichi… I want to let my guard down; I really do. But…" she began, glancing at the floor as she spoke. Shinichi leaned forward expectantly, waiting for a response.
"But…?" he very hesitantly asked his childhood friend. Upsetting her further was not something he wanted to do.
"I fear you'll react too greatly to my situation."
"Friends are supposed to react greatly, as you put it, to their friends' turmoil," Shinichi replied, tilting his head slightly in confusion.
"But you'll dwell on it too much, also hurting you when your mind begins to empathize."
The glasses-clad young man pondered that statement for a second. After a few seconds of thought, he looked Satomi square in the eye and said, "That's good, then. If I can empathize with you, I can help bring the pain down for you. After all, I'll be carrying some of your pain to help ease the burden. All right?"
"But I'm concerned for your well-being!" Satomi exclaimed, tears beginning to flow out of her eyes and onto her cheeks. She refused to let her body make a sobbing sound, though, as her will kept her from revealing what little she hadn't yet.
"You're in no position to be concerned about anyone but yourself, Saht," he gently-but-firmly stated, crossing his arms in steadfastness. Shinichi looked sad; he was genuinely concerned for his best friend's welfare. "Just let me try and help, Sattie. If I can't help I can at least… h-hold you…" he anxiously thought. Where did this notion come from?
"But… then I'll feel guilty," Satomi continued, trying desperately to think of a reason why she wasn't letting him in- just yet.
"Would you rather feel this intense emotional pain, or little-to-no guilt in a few days, if at all?"
"Shinichi…"
"I'm serious."
"Then… promise you won't be hurt?" he began, glad she could finally let down her guard.
"I promise."
"Swear that you won't neglect anything for my sake, including grades?" Satomi asked, voice trembling and eyes overflowing with tears. She was about ready to crack.
"And… and pledge that… you won't think about me too much?" she asked pleadingly, hoping for the answer she replayed in her head as "Yes, I won't."
She got a completely different answer than what she expected.
However, it was eons ahead of what she could have wanted, though.
Shinichi opened his lips and then closed them. Then, he smiled enigmatically. "I can't promise you that, Satomi. It's hard not to think about you when you're down and out like this."
Tap, tap.
Chnk, chnk.
Crumble.
All the stone guarding her inner thoughts and emotions fell away as Shinichi finally managed to chisel his way into her defenses.
Everything faded except for the sight of her childhood friend for Satomi as those words left his mouth. Emotionally overwhelmed, panicked, and distressed, she ruptured under all the strain. "Shinichi!... Shinichi!" she cried, throwing herself at him in a furious, needy hug. "You say everything right when everything's wrong. How?" she asked in between sobs.
"Well…" he began nervously. The brunette boy looked down at the top of the head of his lifelong friend and smiled as he hesitantly pulled her closer to him. "I have a great teacher; in which she's you. You taught me how to be a friend and what it means to have a friend. Thank you, Satomi," he squeaked, himself getting emotional in the process.
He could feel his school uniform dampening from her tears. He didn't care. He simply smiled wider.
She couldn't say anything; all she could do was cry while being held by him.
In that moment, it was all she could have ever asked for.
AN: So I hope you liked it. This is not unlike a situation I was in with a girl about a year ago, and trust me, as I base Satomi and Shinichi's relationship (Yep, this whole story is gonna be based off of my first romance! It's very sweet a lot of the time, but it was super turbulent and painful other times!) off of my personal experiences, I'll be hurting a lot. But I want to… process my thoughts through the names of "Izumi Shinichi" and "Murano Satomi." So I humbly ask that you respect my story, since it's gonna be extremely personal. However, if you have constructive criticism, I ask that you send it to me or leave it- *clicks tongue* -in the reviews.
I really like where this story is headed. I have it planned out for a good chunk, then it's time to go and brainstorm more! So, I'm open to fluffy ideas that can be used for cutesy interactions. Keep in mind that few will make it in, if any at all. But if they do, I'll be sure to give credit where credit's due. Thanks!
Well, I'll be off now. See ya in chapter 6!
~The Slain Executioner~