Originally written April 1999
Title: After the Storm
Rating: M
Summary: Coda to the episode "Thirty Days." P/T.
A/N: This story was inspired by a very vivid dream that I had. Also partly inspired by the song "Fragile" by Sting.
The allure of the sea was calling out to him, the way it always did. He longed to dive into the perfect waves, but he reluctantly turned his attention back to navigating a path for his vessel.
Beneath the crystal clear surface, he caught a glimpse of a shadowy silhouette gliding through the aqua waters. A mermaid, he thought fancifully. At first he dismissed it as a product of his imagination, but upon closer inspection he realized that the figure was indeed real.
He recognized the silhouette as a nereid, a sea nymph, one of the guardians of these waters. They protected the oceans and aquatic life, bound by honor and duty to prevent those who would harm their domain from doing so.
She surfaced. She was stunningly beautiful, with her dark hair and eyes, her slender, agile form swimming gracefully through the waves.
"Help us, Tom!" she entreated. "Our ocean is being destroyed. We will not survive this..."
The ocean maidens rarely made contact with land-dwellers, but they were desperate for a way to save the ocean and all the life that depended on it. This sea nymph had sensed his love for the sea, and that he had the power to save them all.
"We need your help. The ocean is our home, and we are all connected in this fragile web of life."
He promised to do his best... but it was too late. He watched in horror as the ocean slowly vanished...
He was powerless to do anything about it now.
"Tom!"
"No!"
Tom awoke with a start, surrounded by unfamiliar darkness. It took him a moment to realize that he was still in the brig.
Thirty days... he thought grimly.
The vision haunted him.
He had failed again. The way he had recently failed B'Elanna...
She had been so disappointed in him when he'd confessed to her that he had gone against her wishes, arguing that the Cardassian doctor should be allowed to operate on her...
He had let her down.
When that alien slug had been slowly sapping the life out of her, he'd been helpless, unable to protect her.
Maybe they could have found another way, as B'Elanna had wanted. They hadn't really searched very hard, she had pointed out afterwards. They could have looked harder.
But they hadn't.
At the time, he'd been so sure that he was doing the right thing, doing everything to save her despite her moral objections. It had all seemed so clear. She was dying, and the operation was the only way to save her in time. He'd had no qualms about making that decision then, but...
After their argument, he'd had second thoughts.
Of course he didn't really regret it – she was alive, and that was what was important – but he couldn't say that he was still absolutely positively 100% sure that it had been the right decision. It wasn't so black and white anymore, now that he'd had time to really think about it.
So it was with this.
He was afraid that he might have messed up again by following what he thought was right, now that he wasn't so sure he'd been right.
He had failed, after all. He hadn't succeeded in destroying the refineries in order to save the ocean. In fact, he might have made it worse. On top of that, he'd disappointed the captain. So much for his heroism.
Most of all, he was afraid that he might have alienated B'Elanna again. The thought of losing her was unbearable...
She had encouraged him to stand up for what he believed in, but he doubted that this was what she had meant. It had been a drastic course of action.
Sighing, he turned to face the wall
He feared that he had lost everything that mattered to him...
The corners of his mouth quirked in an ironic smile. "That's an order, Ensign," she had said. Wouldn't want to be guilty of insubordination, now would I? He arrived promptly at B'Elanna's quarters that evening at the specified time.
At least he didn't have to worry about losing her. Not that he'd seriously believed that he had, but the possibility had gnawed at him incessantly for the past thirty days.
The doors opened, and there she was – a vision lovely to behold.
"Reporting as ordered, ma'am," he said, saluting smartly.
She laughed, eyes sparkling. It warmed her heart to see him.
No words were spoken, none were needed, as they embraced.
I missed you.
He bent down to kiss her. She responded so fervently, it made him ache with desire. Her lips were soft and warm against his...
Breaking for air, they reluctantly pulled away from each other.
"You can order me around anytime," he drawled, looking her over appreciatively.
B'Elanna laughed again. "Don't tempt me, Tom," she admonished. "You might regret it."
"Never."
"You don't know what you'd be getting yourself into."
"I can imagine," he said suggestively.
Shaking her head, she disentangled herself from his embrace, still smiling.
"Dinner's ready."
"Can't we have dessert first?"
She was tempted, but she wanted to talk to him. "We really should have dinner first."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. I promise I'll make it worth the wait."
Dinner was fairly uneventful, as they enjoyed just being with each other again. They teased each other mercilessly, as always. It was playful, but also tender.
Eventually, the conversation took a turn for the serious.
"I can't help wondering if I did the right thing or not," he said quietly.
"You stood up for what you believed in. That means it was the right thing for you to do."
"But it didn't do any good. I failed. They're just going to keep on destroying the ocean."
"That's not true. Riga understood, and I'm sure there are others who agree with him."
He wasn't convinced.
"At the very least, what the two of you did made people aware of the situation. It's a controversial issue, but maybe the general public will push for change. That's an accomplishment to be proud of."
"I don't know..."
"You didn't fail, Tom. You're a hero."
A hero.
"How can I be a hero... ?"
She could see the torment in his eyes, like a tortured soul. Thirty days in solitary confinement had done this to him. It had allowed him too much time to think, to regret. She wished there was something she could do to comfort him.
"Tom, do you remember when Voyager was passing through the Void, how we helped those aliens?"
"Of course. The Malon were polluting their environment, destroying their home."
"We helped them, because they asked us for our help. If you think about it, the Moneans are destroying not only their own home, but that of all the sea creatures that share and inhabit the ocean. I'm sure they would cry for help, just as the aliens of the Void did, if they could communicate with us. They would be perfectly justified in doing so, and we would feel obligated to help them. I mean, why shouldn't the marine life have any say in what happens to their world? They're living creatures, too. Just because they aren't humanoid and warp-capable doesn't mean that their lives are any less valid. You're a hero, because you were defending those helpless creatures and the ocean they inhabit, when no one else cared."
"I know. And I would do it again. It's just that... I've disappointed the people I care about lately, more than once. I failed the captain, and before that... I failed you."
She knew what he was referring to. "You didn't fail me."
"Didn't I?" he challenged.
"You didn't fail me," she repeated firmly. "When you argued for letting Moset operate on me. I thought we went over that already."
"Yeah, and we agreed to disagree."
"Tom." She sighed. "You did what you thought was right. I can't fault you for that."
He shook his head. "At the time, I was so convinced that it was right, that it was what would be best for you. That it was what you would want, given time to think about it."
"Well... it wasn't. But I don't blame you. I'm not angry with you about that. About anything."
"I know. But..."
"But you blame yourself," she finished for him.
"I let you down, B'Elanna."
"No, you didn't." She was growing exasperated. "Not then, and not now. I love you, and I'm proud of you."
Perhaps that was enough.
"What else could you have done, Tom? You did all you could to save the ocean... and me."
It was true, he had to admit. He had done his best, and that was all anyone could ask of him.
Suddenly, he felt better than he had in a long time. Sensing this, she leaned over to kiss him softly. She wanted to make him feel a whole lot better, so that he would forget his troubles for the time being.
"B'Elanna," he murmured, staring into her dark, beautiful eyes. They were like obsidian pools, infinitely deep.
He felt the familiar stirrings of arousal as he became lost in her eyes.
Thirty days apart. Far too long, especially considering that they usually saw each other every day.
Too many endless lonely nights away from you...
They kissed again, with increasing urgency.
Taking his hand, she led him to the bedroom. They tumbled to the bed, tearing at each other's clothing.
Soon, they were both fully unclothed, breathing hard. She admired his masculine physique, lightly tracing her fingertips over his well-defined pectoral and abdominal muscles. He was in excellent shape, since thirty days in the brig had afforded him plenty of time to work out. There hadn't been much else to do. The result was improved stamina, endurance, and muscle tone.
The fact that he'd been forced to eat nothing but Neelix's cooking had also contributed. Leola root stew didn't taste that great, but it had all the essential nutrients, vitamins, and minerals, and it was rich in protein. Much healthier than pizza or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
B'Elanna ran her hands over his firm biceps, which he flexed for her benefit. She shivered, feeling the power within. He was so solid and muscular. Incredibly well-built.
He lowered her onto her back in one smooth, fluid motion, pinning her to the bed with his weight. Usually, she could take him on in a fair fight, but now she wasn't so sure about that. Wasn't sure what would happen if they had one of their playful wrestling matches right now...
That uncertainty was thrilling.
She knew she could order him around, and he would obey... if it suited him.
At that moment, he didn't look like he was in any mood to follow orders. He was studying her intently, eyes smoldering with desire. She closed her eyes, letting him take control.
Kneeling between her parted thighs, he buried his face against her. Her whimpers grew louder as he explored further, breathing in the seashell scent of her. The taste of her was delicately salty and exotic like seawater, and she was flowering like a sea anemone for him.
"Don't stop," she gasped.
He raised his head and gazed into the stormy depths of her eyes. "Is that an order?" he asked huskily.
"Tom," she moaned. His grip was like steel. She had to submit to him, he was in complete control now... but he felt it quickly slipping away as the tempest overcame him.
He moved to join with her, then dove into her wet heat with a forceful thrust, gasping her name. She let out a sharp cry, which only pushed him onward.
They rocked back and forth together, swept away by the flowing currents of all-consuming passion. Their mouths melded together the way their bodies had.
Their heartbeats were thundering like the pounding of the surf upon the shore during a storm. He felt as though the waves were crashing all around them, and it reminded him of all the times he had communed with the sea. Images swam before him...
He could remember making love to B'Elanna on the shores of Tahiti, the droplets of seawater clinging to her bronzed skin, a strand of dark seaweed interwoven in her hair. He had felt one with the ocean, with his beautiful sea nymph...
She thrashed beneath him, feeling the pressure escalate to unbearable heights.
The raging passion between them continued, finally culminating in a brilliant, splintering climax that engulfed them like a tsunami. They rode the crest of the wave together, panting for breath, drowning in each other's arms.
I love you...
The waves gradually subsided, spreading through them like ripples on the surface of a lake.
He drew her closer, savoring the peace and clarity now afforded to him. It was as though they were floating, drifting in a sea of tranquility.
Her eyelids fluttered as fatigue gradually overcame her.
He marveled that this free-spirited, untamed beauty could feel such passion for him.
My own ocean maiden... Even while she was asleep in his arms, her presence soothed him.
He tenderly pressed his lips to her forehead, stroking her luminous skin. She stirred slightly in his arms but didn't wake up.
She was right. In his own way, he was a hero. Maybe not the way he had envisioned, but that wasn't important. What mattered was that he had stood up for what he had believed in. He hadn't backed down even in the face of orders from a captain that he respected more than anything. Orders that he couldn't follow, not in good conscience.
He doubted that he would have had the courage to go through with it had it not been for his talk with B'Elanna on the holodeck. They had both been indoctrinated with Starfleet dogma, but had they ever really completely accepted it? Maybe it was mostly for the sake of convenience. But there came a time when you had to uphold and live by your own principles.
They were both like that; they were guided by what they believed in, not the rules that had been chosen for them.
He had his integrity intact, and her love and respect. He could be content with that.
Still, it saddened him that the beauty of that ocean world would gradually deteriorate at the hands of its Monean inhabitants. The mystic seas had always inspired him. It gave him purpose and something greater than himself to believe in.
He would design a new holoprogram, he decided. One with an old-fashioned seafaring ship so that they could explore the seas together. He wanted to share his love of the ocean with B'Elanna, wanted her to see it through his eyes. She would love it as much as he did, of that he was certain.
She would understand. They always did their best to understand each other, which was why he read Klingon romance novels and she put up with Captain Proton and skiing.
He would re-create the vast oceans that had always sparked and captured his imagination. The sea, in all its glory, teeming with dolphins, whales, fish, seals... They would traverse the waters, in harmony with the carefree marine life and mythical sea maidens frolicking in the shimmering waves.
He had faith, the ocean would thrive again.
The End