Chapter 3

Let the flood carry away

All my pictures of you

Eric sat in the dayroom quietly with Alan who was sketching a picture of William with wings. It was very well detailed and well-drawn, he definitely had artistic ability. The picture was not just William with wings, but William was sitting next to one of the dayroom windows as snow fell down outside of the window. The wings coming out of William's back were big and beautiful. Eric was impressed.

"You like to draw, huh?"

Alan flinched a little when Eric spoke. Looking up at Eric he nodded his head slowly, as if he was scared of what Eric might say. "He's my angel." Alan told him.

"Is he?"

A nod.

"It's nice to know you have someone looking out for you. I think all of my angels left me to rot." A small gasp was emitted from Alan, his eyes went wide as he shook his head. Eric laughed a bit at the reaction he was given. "You don't think so?"

"'You're like me, you have problems you have to deal with. The angels haven't abandoned you."

Truthfully, Eric hated talking about angels and God and how Jesus died on the cross. Jesus was either one of three things; he really was the messiah, he was a crazy man, or he was a lier. Eric wasn't sure to be honest and he didn't care to find out. God was obviously selective with who he helped, and it certainly wasn't Eric. Angels? What a joke. The angels have never helped Eric, not even once. Hearing how people were visited by Jesus or his father made Eric want to punch that person in the face. Of course, Alan annoyed him with the talk about angels, but he would never hit him.

Still, he decided to be the nice guy for once and just play along.

He smiled gently at the younger man, "Yeah, you're right."

A grin came from Alan who got another piece of paper and began to sketch a larger male. Eric watched with interest. The brunette had talent. He watched as the brunette made muscles on the large man then made his legs and arms. The man was sitting in a chair, facing the invisible camera. After just a minute of sketching, Eric realized Alan was drawing him.

Why would Alan draw him? Did he really like him that much?

"I see you like to draw, is there anything else you like to do?"

The brunette looked up at the blonde and nodded. "I like to sing, and I play violin."

Wow. Eric wondered how good he was, he was itching to hear him. He knew the hospital had a guitar, but he wasn't sure about the violin. He really wanted to hear Alan play though. Perhaps Alan would sing him a song if he asked which is exactly what he did.

"Can you sing me a song?"

Alan immediately looked away, having his bangs fall in his face as he did so. His cheeks turned pink and his eyes blinked rapidly. "I'm not that good."

"Ah, come on now. I bet you're great at it. Look, we're the only ones in the room."

Alan only shook his head and Eric gave up. They were quiet until Ronald and William entered the room with a cardboard box full of fake leather string and beads. Eric looked at them, but didn't have time to ask before Ronald practically slammed the box on the table causing Alan to jump.

"What do you got there, Ron?" The blonde asked, gently rubbing the brunette's arm to calm him down. Alan looked up at him and gave a small nod to show he was okay.

"It's hobby skills!" Ronald grinned, "We're making bracelets!"

Eric looked at Alan. "Would you like to make a bracelet?" he asked. Alan shook his head no then got up from his seat and went back to his room.

"Don't mind him, he's a weird one." Ronald explained as William took his seat beside Eric. Ronald sat across from Eric and got out the string and two containers of beads. Eric knew what he was going to make and proceeded to pick out red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple. His wrist was pretty big so he grabbed four of each and some lighter versions of the colors. Ronald looked at him questionably. "Are you making a rainbow bracelet for your sister?" he asked.

"I don't have a sister anymore." Eric answered bluntly. "I'm gay and I don't have anything to show my pride with since my mum won't let me buy anything with rainbows."

"Oh. Anymore?" Ronald asked, confused.

Eric nod his head. "My sister died when I was nine."

The two toned man was suddenly interested in the conversation. "How?"

"Ronald!" William snapped, fixing his glasses. "Perhaps you shouldn't ask such things."

"Sorry, mate."

"He's fine." Eric told William as he began to piece his bracelet together. "She was brain dead and couldn't do much of anything, so my mum decided to pull the plug on her. She was five."

William and Ronald were quiet. Ronald because he felt bad for asking and William because he was contemplating on whether or not he should kick Ronald in the leg for asking such a thing. The other two started on their bracelets.

Once Eric was done his bracelet, William helped tie it on and cut the string with a pair of kiddie scissors. The Scotsman wanted to make a bracelet for Alan, but he wasn't sure if the brunette would wear it or not. Speaking of Alan, he was sitting in the window seat watching the snow fall outside. Eric wondered how long he had been there since he didn't see the brunette enter the room. He was so quiet.

The blonde found himself staring at Alan. He wondered if Alan was gay. No, someone like that had to be straight. Then again, everyone Eric has ever talked to never guessed Eric was gay. He wasn't sure why he was thinking about this, but he knew he had some sort of attraction towards the brunette. Everything about the brunette interested him.

At closer examination, he saw Alan's lips were moving as if he was talking to someone. Was he hearing voices again? Eric wondered if he could get Alan's mind off of the voices for a short while. William and Ronald had left the room to go back to their rooms, so it was just the two of them. Eric walked up to Alan, smiling widely. "How you doing, Al?"

The brunette looked up at Eric, smiling just as widely. It seemed they were playing a game of monkey see monkey do and Alan was the monkey. Eric was going to have to keep that in mind. Alan's smile quickly faded though and Eric caught this.

"Come on, lass. Smile. There are plenty of things to smile at." Eric encouraged.

"I'm going to hell." Alan's quiet voice said.

"You're not going to hell, why would you think that?"

"Because I'm gay. I've sinned, I've committed adultery and I've done all of the deadly sins."

Well, that answered Eric's question from just a little bit ago.

"You're not going hell, Alan," Eric told him in a serious tone, "especially for being gay. I'm gay and-"

"You are?" Alan's face lit up as if that was what he wanted to hear.

"Yep." He showed the brunette his bracelet, "I never once thought I was going to hell from it because the Bible says God will love you no matter what your choices are. As long as you accept God into your heart who's he to judge you."

The little brunette's face lit up even more at that which made Eric smile in return. He looked down at his hands and it was silent again. Eric decided to pull up a chair and sit beside the window seat. Right when he did this, Alan looked up at him and whispered, "Dad."

Eric looked at Alan, thinking he misheard him. "What was that?"

"You're my dad." Alan told him.

Oh no.

William's words rang through Eric's mind about how Alan's dad died from a brain tumor. There was no doubt Alan thought of his father all the time.

Poor Alan. The boy had a severe case of schizophrenia, he lost his father, his sister probably took care of him, and he didn't eat. His sister was probably very strict with him if he was forced to come here because of her, but perhaps she knew a little bit of Alan's condition. Nobody visited him though which takes Eric's mind to the question of if Alan's sister cared so much for him, why doesn't she visit him? William said he had no visitors.

"Dad." Alan repeated.

"I don't think I'm your dad, Al."

"Of course you are. You used to call me Al all the time. You're reincarnated."

"No, Alan. I really don't think I'm your father. I'm sorry."

Alan just didn't seem to get it. His smile never faded even though Eric had denied being his father, his eyes showed happiness and hope. It made Eric's heart ache.

"Look," Eric sighed. "Why don't you go back to your room and take a nap? Can you do that for me?"

The brunette nodded and left the room with a smile on his face. Eric felt so bad and so guilty. He would have to be sure not to lead Alan on in any way. Even Alan being gay couldn't make Eric smile. Besides, they were patients in a mental hospital, they weren't going to see each other at all after this.