Masae 2: Aiming Higher

Masae continued her story from when she started doing tankery.

"My middle school tankery career progressed, and I eventually became vice-captain of the team," Masae said. "We made it to the finals, but never won the tournament. The subsequent defeats were hard on me, but I realized they always would be to some extent."

Shiho simply nodded. Those results were ones that Shiho was raised to find unacceptable, and would not accept for her daughters or herself. But those outside the Nishizumi school would likely be proud of having made it this far, and Shiho realized that if this was true she could not convince Masae otherwise.

"Were you satisfied, Instructor Atago?" Shiho said, expecting Masae to offer some form of defense.

"Not entirely," Masae said. "There were times when I felt my level of commitment far exceeded that of my teammates. More than that, I was feeling empty and unsatisfied on some levels, and I wondered why."

Masae glanced at Shiho, expecting some sort of reaction from her, but Shiho remained impassive.

"I suppose I can't expect her to question her own path any more than I can expect a train to be able to run off its tracks," Masae thought. "But what about her children?"

Masae put the question out of her mind for the moment.

"I spoke with Kumakura-sensei before I left, expressing how I felt unfulfilled." Masae said. "I didn't think as much about the conversation at the time, but in the years to come, I tended to think back to it, while trying to find an answer to the question I was posed."

25 years ago

Masae stepped into the office of the coach of Troika Middle School. The tournament had ended, with them having lost to Bismarck in the finals, and Masae was holding a meeting with the coach to discuss subjects relating to the team's future, including her successor as vice-captain.

"I think that's everything we need to deal with," Toshi said as the discussion concluded, her tone indicating bittersweet feelings over her student fulfilling the last of her obligations before graduating and moving on to what life had in store for her next. "You've done well as vice-captain, so you can leave the rest to me."

"Thank you, ma'am," Masae said, less than convinced.

"Is something the matter, Masae?" Toshi said. "You seem less than happy for someone who just took the team to the final round."

"I appreciate your kind words, Kumakura-sensei," Masae said. "But I have to wonder- will my successor and her teammates manage even this much again?"

"What do you mean, exactly?" Toshi said.

"I confess that I've been disappointed with… the commitment displayed by some members of my team," Masae said. "Mother told me that defeat was not necessarily a bad thing, so long as one learns from one's mistakes and keeps trying. But, to be honest, I had hoped most of the other people would try harder than this."

"I see what you mean," Toshi said. "But while I do make and enforce the rules in th hopes that my students will do their best, in the end, as the saying goes, you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him drink. You can't force people to try harder; I've found that if I give people an ultimatum to shape up or ship out, some start taking things more seriously, but others would decide they really don't care after all. And you can't assume that people will fight for the same reasons that you do- whatever your reason may be."

Masae paused, having trouble understanding Toshi's final statement. To her, the fact that it was not always possible to motivate people, and the fact that it was unfair to assume that they shared a common goal were self-explanatory.

"I beg your pardon, Kumakura-sensei?" Masae said. "What do you mean by 'whatever my reasons may be'? Isn't winning enough reason to persist and try hard?"

Toshi let off a slight sigh, expecting this sort of reaction from her student, but realizing that her response would be yet another question.

"That depends," Toshi said. "The question is, Masae, what do you want out of tankery?"

Toshi paused as Masae gave no reply. Masae had never considered this question before. To her, tankery was a competition, and she saw it as her duty to give her all in support of the team, so that it could get as far as it could, and she believed that the team could do better. But had she ever considered why the team should do better, or what it would gain by doing so? Masae had to confess that she had not, but was unwilling to say it out loud.

"It's fine if you can't answer that just yet," Toshi said. "Perhaps going to Black Forest, and seeing whether what you're looking for is what you really want, and what happens if you keep winning, would be a good next step."

"Maybe so," Masae said. "I don't think I even undrstand your question quite yet, though, sensei."

"You will, eventually," Toshi said. "It's not something I can really show to you, but you must experience for yourself, especially since I don't have all the answers, either. Tankery is changing a great deal, especially with the advent of the new systems for declaring tanks out of the game. I feel as though I have to keep relearning in order to stay current."

"I understand, ma'am," Masae said. "You told me to keep learning even after I graduated, to keep my knowledge current, and that there were some things you couldn't teach me."

"That's true," Toshi said. "But a better way to put the latter point would be to say that there are some things that no one can teach you."

"What do you mean, Kumakura-sensei?" Masae said.

"I'm mainly a teacher of how to do tankery rather than why to do it," Toshi said. "Doing something for someone else's reasons is a bit like wearing someone else's clothing; they tend not to fit you."

Masae couldn't help but slightly chuckle as she imagined herself wearing Toshi's suit, which would likely not fit her well, as she was still growing. But she understood Toshi's metaphor, as she had spent a fair amount of time shopping for a suit to wear to her entrance interviews. The process of finding her own reasons to do tankery would likely be a long one, but it would be a necessary one, and one that she would have to go through by herself.

"Thank you for everything, Kumakura-sensei," Masae said.

"You're welcome, Masae," Toshi said, "although I don't think I did all that much. All I did today, as in the past, was inform you what decisions you had to make. It's up to you to ultimately make them, and as I'm quite proud of what you've accomplished for yourself, I'm sure you can do it. I hope to see you again some day, possibly when you've found an answer on your own."

"Goodbye, Kumakura-sensei," Masae said, as she stood up.

Masae bowed, and exited the office.

As she began the walk back to her apartment, Masae was briefly confused as she reflected on Toshi's advice. Most of the advice she had been given until now told her what to do, instead of questioning her as to what she wanted. In most case, her parents, teachers and other mentors knew what she wanted to do, or saw fit to tell her what to do.

But one thing became clear to Masae over time- that she should not ever think of herself as beyond doubt, or stop questioning herself.

Present day

"I didn't fully understand what Kumakura-sensei was telling me at the time," Masae said," and it ultimately took years for me to understand the significance. This sometimes happened with the lessons given while I was young, whether it's because I became more mature, because I had enough time to think it over, or because of what I experienced in the years since then."

Shiho nodded, realizing that she did not always fully realize the importance of the Nishizumi style,but believed that as the lessons sunk in over time and she became more mature, she was more able to devote herself to her family's cause.

"So, which ended up being the case, Instructor Atago?" Shiho said.

"I needed to experience it for myself," Masae said. "The time I spent at Black Forest did ultimately help me to understand what I wanted out of tankery, by showing me one part of it that I did not want."

"I feel similarly about my year at Black Forest, Instructor Atago," Miho said. "I realized that I was not suited to a strictly run and ruthlessly driven team. As a result, I made different choices at Oarai, ones that were more suited for me, as well as the team I had under my command."

"That's good to hear, Miho," Masae said. "Perhaps you realized what you needed to sooner than I did, even considering your circumstances."

"It was more that I realized I couldn't go that far in pursuit of victory," Miho said, "which was something I'd suspected for years, but didn't quite know until then. But Pravda was your alma mater, correct?" Masae nodded. "It seems like a more serious tankery school than Oarai ever was."

"I suppose a great many things are relative in tankery," Masae said. "Some would consider me a strict teacher, but I don't go quite as far as the Nishizumis do. I learned that once I started attending Black Forest."

25 years ago.

Masae arrived at the Black Forest tankery club's assembly for the first club meeting of the year, and was amazed by how many girls there were. All of them stood there, in the tankery school uniforms, at attention, and Masae was impressed by their discipline. Clearly, she would have to perform well to keep up with the others, and was excited by the challenge.

Masae had taken the time to familiarize herself with the rules, and realized that to some, they were intimidating. Various offenses were punishable by removal from the team. It was repeatedly emphasized that team members should not take their positions for granted, and they had to continually work to improve themselves in order to stay on the team.

But Masae believed that all of those were what she had been doing, and were reasonable expectations for a tankery team. She believed that it was not too much to ask students to show up all the time, barring unforeseen circumstances. And while she believed that coaches could give students advice about where and how they should improve, the students needed to have the initiative to improve themselves.

Upon her arrival, Masae had applied for the position of a tank commander, and was pleased to get it. She had hoped to go further, and one day become vice-captain like she had been in middle school but believed that her first year was not the time- she had to get some more experience and learn about the school, as well as what she could do for it.

But as the coach stepped up to the podium, accompanied by a dark-haired girl who looked fairly young, it soon became clear that not everyone had the inclination to wait as long as she did.

"Hello, everyone, and welcome to Black Forest's tankery team," the coach said. "You have become part of the national champions, and we expect you to give nothing less than your best, and perform at a level becoming of those who stand atop tankery itself. But while we ask much of you, there is also much to gain. One first-year has, through her outstanding skill and great determination, earned the right to lead us. Please welcome your new commander… Nishizumi Shiho!"

As soon as Masae heard the name, she recognized the girl with long dark hair who walked up to the podium and motioned for silence, as one of her former opponents, the one her team could never defeat. She had come away with little information about her from her previous matches with her.

Perhaps now, Masae would learn a little of what drove Shiho, and what it took to make a champion-level team. Perhaps once she learned that, she would be able to improve herself, and get closer to Shiho's level.

Present day

"I must admit that I was impressed by the quality of Black Forest's team back then, and also somewhat intimidated," Masae said. "While I was considered somewhat hard-working and successful for Troika Middle School, I had to wonder how I would measure up to the others here, and what you had that I did not. It does seem somewhat naive in retrospect."

Miho shook her head. While being burdened with standards far beyond what most people would deal with from an age far younger than most, she, too, had a great deal of admiration for Black Forest at first.

"I don't think so, Instructor Atago," Miho said. "Many of Black Forest's tankers are proud to be part of a team with that kind of record. It all comes down to whether you see membership in that team as something you've earned or something you'll have to live up to."

"Perhaps some would see that sort of admiration as naive," Shiho said, "but after some time as commander, I realized it was also convenient for me. Every single starry-eyed new recruit was another who was not questioning or second-guessing me."

"You don't find the latter type of teammate helpful, at all?" Hiroe said. "Hiroko might be my cousin, but she doesn't hold back from criticizing me or letting me know when I make a mistake. I appreciate that degree of honesty, and know that when she says something about me, she means it."

"But the two of you trust each other, do you not?" Shiho said, and Hiroe and Hiroko nodded. "The same can't be said for many of my naysayers; they may not have the qualities I expect in them, and some, rather than wanting to help me do my job better, hope they can do it instead. In order to disprove them, I had to do my best, and in order to remain a trusted leader, I had to prove that I had what it took. I didn't have any friends among my subordinates, but in the end, even my critics could say that I had fulfilled my responsibilities."

Shiho paused.

"That's all you could hope for, Mother?" Miho said. "Even if I could assert my will on my subordinates in such a way, it seems like too depressing and lonely a prospect for me."

"That was good enough for me," Shiho said. "It was what I owed to my team, what my family expected of me and my responsibility as a leader and practitioner for the Nishizumi style. Perhaps my story about my time early on at Black Forest will show all of you what being a leader means to me."

Author's Notes

While Masae also diverges from the Nishizumi Style, her story contrasts with Miho's in a few points. For example, her teams are, by and large, more disciplined than Oarai, and as a result, she becomes somewhat more stern and disciplinarian than Miho is, even if she's a far cry from Shiho. There's also how she meets and is influenced by different people, so the Character Analysis will now focus on one of those influences on her.

Character Analysis: Toshi Kumakura

In Saki, Toshi is a minor character who coaches the Miyamori team, helping a team of five girls who hadn't been to the Inter-high before get up to the quarter-finals. She's a kind-hearted and personable yet highly effective coach.

Toshi is a large influence on the kind of teacher and authority figure Masae hopes to be and is what Masae considers a happy medium as far as authorities go. She's friendly and personable, but also expects respect. She's willing to listen to those under her, but insists on the final word. She has high expectations for students, but doesn't go overboard or forget that what she's doing is, first and foremost, for the students' benefit. She knows that she will have to make and stand by difficult decisions, but knows she is not infallible, either.

Of course, Toshi's teaching tankery came relatively late in life, and while it eventually became her primary career, it never became an obsession for her. She realizes that many students have not always been involved in tankery, and may not necessarily stay involved in tankery. Therefore, Toshi tends to see it as a means of teaching lessons to students and becoming better individuals. This kind of perspective is one that Masae finds important, both as a student trying to find her own way of tankery, and as a teacher who hopes to teach her ways to others.