All You Leave Behind

by Lynnth2014

Carol's on the run from a mistake in her recent past, but the only place she can go has the man she ran from originally. She had to find somewhere safe for her daughter, and that meant going home, back to her friends and family, back where they would find happiness. But with light, there is always dark, and he was Carol's. He would find them, it was only a matter of time.

20. Ocean Floor

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

––

Carol was reluctant, but Sophia and Daryl were both persistent. She had no real reason to say no, but it was so difficult. She'd always had Sophia right down the hall or beside her every single night, and to have her more than thirty minutes away made Carol feel as if she were tried to an anchor in the middle of the ocean. Daryl was her father and very responsible, and Amy would be here if Sophia needed her, and so would Paige. She just wasn't sure.

"It's just one night," Sophia pressed. "Pretty, pretty, pretty please?"

"I—uhhh..." She dropped off.

"It's just me. Nothin' is gonna happen," he promised. "We'll watch some movie—of my choosin', but appropriate—eat pizza or somethin' Amy might make then go to bed. That's it."

"But we have that family dinner tonight," Carol argued.

"Just y'all Greene girls and Shawn," he reminded her. "C'mon, don't you trust me?"

"With my life and hers," she swore, "but I—I don't know."

"Mommy, please? I'll be extra good, and—and I'll brush my teeth and floss too! Please, Mommy?"

She slowly nodded. "Okay, fine."

"Thank you!" Sophia hugged her. "I'm gonna go tell Paige." She ran out of the bedroom and down the hall.

"Yeah, Amy's takin' Paige to the movies then to the mall for shoppin' and bondin', so it'll be mostly just the two of us," he confessed.

"I know. She told me. Her best friend." She smirked, folding his shirts since he'd just left the basket lying there after Amy went through the trouble of having them clean, and it was helping to still the trembling in her hands. "But thank you for telling me."

"So, family dinner?"

She nodded. "It's about the Greene Leaf and the farm too, possibly."

"Oh?"

"It has me so nervous." She opened the first drawer to his dresser. "I feel sick and sweaty." She placed the shirts inside then saw another basket of jeans. "Do you ever fold?"

He watched her bend over and pick up the basket, his eyes moving to something on her neck, and he slipped off the bed. He brushed her hair aside when she stood up, and he felt her tense. "Nervous, huh?"

"What is it?" She turned her head toward his.

"A rash."

"I outgrew that."

"Well, it's here." He took the basket and set it on his bed, taking her wrist and pulling her into the bathroom. "Why're you so nervous?"

"I think I'm a naturally nervous person." She gathered her hair and held it away from her neck in one hand as he rubbed ointment over the small bumps, the cold cream making her shudder.

"No, you ain't. You're only nervous when you're scared."

"Well, I've been scared for four years now. I guess my body can't tell the difference anymore, which is weird, because I haven't gotten this rash in years."

He met her eyes in the mirror. "You don't have to be afraid no more."

"I do, but for different reasons." She wouldn't look at him.

"I get men like Ed," he told her, tossing the ointment onto the counter. "He wanted you broken so you wouldn't ever leave."

"Please, don't, Daryl."

"Everything he told you to degrade you was just the opposite of what he saw. I know it was, 'cause I know you. I see you." He started to flush really bad. "You're friggin' intelligent and always too damn good for a worthless asshole like him."

She shook her head. "I—"

"You're gorgeous, Carol. Always have been."

She turned, so very close to him, her shoulder almost touched his. "You—you think I'm gorgeous?" Her words were breathy, like she was scared to ask and like she wasn't sure what wanted the answer.

He nodded. "How can you not see it?"

"How can you not see that you've always been a good man? You're so brave and selfless. Sophia got that from you, so don't deny it."

"You say she's beautiful and intelligent, so what the hell do you see in yourself? Everyone knows and says she's just like you in every way."

She searched his eyes. "Stop it, Daryl."

"Stop what?"

"I'm not who I was before." She stepped back. "I'm just not, and no matter what you say, it won't change what I know."

"What you know or what Ed told you you should know?" he snapped back.

"Don't bring Ed into this! He has nothing to d—"

"He has everything to do with this!" he shouted. "He convinced you of all this shit, and it's just that: shit! It ain't truth. God damn, Carol, realize that!"

"I have to go and help make dinner."

He watched her leave and cursed.

"Mommy?" Sophia frowned at how red her mom's eyes were.

"I have to go now, but I will be back at noon tomorrow." She hugged her tightly. "I hope you have fun."

"Why were you and Daddy fighting?"

"It's grown up stuff. Don't worry about it." She smiled, and it was fake. "Have a good time, and keep your promises." She saw Daryl in the hall. "Call me before you go to bed."

"I will." She hugged her goodbye. "I love you."

"I love you too." She kissed the top of her head and left before any tears fell. She made it all the way home, gripping the wheel and snuffling. She took a walk to try and calm down, but she couldn't. She half-walked, half-ran to the pond, collapsing onto warm earth.

Powerful sobs wrecked her body as she pulled her legs up and held them close. She feared she may come apart if she didn't. She rocked herself, sobbing loudly, and she wasn't even sure why. She just felt like a shit, and that she should be left out there all alone so that no one would have to be burdened by her again.

Who haven't you burdened?

Who hadn't she burdened? She made a mess of Daryl's life, and there was no possible way to fix it. And poor Karen. She had to put up with Carol's shit for years, never really able to just let her anger out, because she might push her off the edge. And her parents. God, her parents.

What the hell was wrong with you?!

– – –

Karen had taken Sophia out for the day to get some fresh air and to feel the sun on her face, because Carol was too much of a mess to do it herself. She had a twisted ankle, a dislocated shoulder, a broken finger, and her face was just a swollen mess. Karen had to take Sophia out before she went and shot Ed four times in one location and threw his body into a shark tank.

After not moving for hours, she finally dragged herself out of bed. She fell to her knees, whimpering softly at the pain, and she pushed herself to her feet. She went to the bathroom, not looking in the mirror, and she used the toilet.

Turning the water on, she began to wash her hands with a bar of soap. She saw herself by accident and stared in...shock, mostly. She had no words to describe to herself how her face looked, and she didn't want to try and find the words. Ed had said more than enough for the both of them when he woke up this morning. Why didn't she just crawl in a hole somewhere?

She was so disgusting, and she let Karen see her like this? She was surprised the mirror didn't shatter at how repulsive she was. She could probably make someone heave, and it had nothing to do with the swelling—it had gone down some since the other night anyhow. She was just...a mess. No, that didn't even begin to cover how unsightly she was.

She turned away and decided to take a bath. She filled the tub with hot water, removed her clothes, setting them in the hamper, and she sat down, the water almost stinging. She bit her lip to keep the groans back, and she hung her head, noticing the black and blue bruises on her thighs. She lifted her legs up and wrapped her arms around them.

What the hell is wrong with you? Do you think you can just let yourself go like this? You didn't just have Sophia. Damn, go to the gym!

She shuddered.

Really? You're going to eat that? Haven't you had enough tonight? I'm surprised you can still fit in my damn car. You're such an embarrassment. Who the hell wants to be seen with you? Forget tonight, I'll just go alone.

She buried her face in her knees.

I spent five years—five long, stressful years—of my life working for this and you can't even try to look decent for tonight? If this is all you have to work with then that's just sad. You might as well wear a mask. It'll cause less damage to my bosses' eyes. If I had only seen this before I married you, my life would be so much better. Thank God Sophia doesn't look a thing like you.

It was times like these when she felt the most. In the bright and cruel light of day, when it's just her, she felt so disconnected from everything. It felt like she could just slip away and no one would notice. Why should they notice? She was nothing. She was just a piece of the background that hopefully nobody ever saw, because she was so displeasing to the eye. She didn't belong in this world, did she?

So often she would look around and see so much of what she lacked. If she had even a small portion of that, maybe Ed would be happy. She could be so much better if she wasn't...Carol. Carol was wrong and hideous and just a waste. Carol was screwed up and there was nothing worth saving about her. Carol made so many good people worry about her when they shouldn't have to. She wasn't worth the energy they put into worrying about her. She was nothing.

Who haven't you burdened? Damn, how have you made it this long? Tsh, don't waste your breath. I don't give a fuck.

It felt like her insides were being clawed out, and it wouldn't stop. She felt as if the darkness had tainted her. She was entirely alone, but she was never alone, because he was there, lurking, watching. He never wanted her around other people, and she shouldn't be allowed around them. She would taint them, ruin their lives as she had done in the past. She was a terrible person to even let that baby near her. She deserved so much more than Carol.

There was so much inside of her, so much, and it was like a raging war. She was always in pain, and she was to blame for it. If she was just better, if she was good enough... She would never be good enough. She would never be worth anyone's love.

How could anyone love somebody like her? And why?

She dried off and dressed as Karen returned from her day with Sophia. She didn't mind the icy bathwater. She hardly felt it—or anything—anymore. She only felt the pain he brought, and she deserved that. After all she did, she deserved it. She had ruined his life, Ed's as well, so this was her punishment.

"Okay, I bought food." She was in the kitchen. "Oh, and don't worry, I fed Sophia her breakfast and lunch."

Carol limped into the kitchen. "Did you?" Carol saw the carrier and Sophia's little shoes, but she didn't look further to see her face.

"Yes. She's so sweet when she's sleeping." Karen pulled down two glasses. "I brought some of my grandmother's tea stuff. It's really good for you, and it'll help replenish vitamins and all that good stuff. It should taste good with our dinner."

"I'm not really hungry." She sat down.

Karen turned, jaw clenched, and she set the glasses down before she threw them down. "I'll blend this shit up and force it down your throat," she growled. "You weight...what? Fifty pounds wet? This is not healthy, Carol."

"My fat could own property." She scoffed.

"What fat? You don't have any, and that's not okay." Her eyes filled with tears. "You're scaring me, Carol. Every time I see you, I—I see more of your bones. The biggest things on you ever are the welts."

"You need glasses."

"That's it!" She stormed into her bedroom, grabbing clothes, and Carol ran after her.

"What are you doing?!"

"You're staying with me. Don't you dare argue with me either." She shoved them into a suitcase then grabbed some of Sophia's and put them in the suitcase as well. "Ed is going on a business trip, and you are getting help."

"Help?" Carol shook her head. "I'm already dieting."

She held her tongue. "Get in the car."

"I can't just leave. I have to make sure the house is in order. I have plants to water, bills to take care of, and laundry. Lots of laundry. Ed will be mad if I don't do what he asks."

"And I'll be mad if you don't go and see the doctors you need to see. Let's go." She grabbed her wrist and hauled her out. "You can hate me all you want, but I don't care right now."

"Karen!" she protested as she was shoved into the backseat and locked inside. "Karen!" She slammed her hand against the glass.

She went back inside quickly for Sophia, and she took Carol to her house. "You know you need this, Carol."

"This is insane!" Carol glared. "I don't need—"

"Do you think Ethan wants to see you like this?" Karen hated to do this, but it was the only way. She could see how Carol felt. "Do you think he's up there just smiling at you?"

She felt like the air had been sucked out of the car, and her eyes filled with tears

"He wouldn't want this, and you know that."

"Don't bring Ethan into this," she hissed. "He has nothing—"

"If you keep this shit up, you're going to join him! How would your mother feel? It'd be worse than what you felt when you lost Ethan, because she'd never know. She would never know a piece of her that she loves more than anything was gone. Could you do that to her?"

Carol fell silent after that, Karen took her to her home, and she took Sophia inside, asking Milton to watch her, and she went back for Carol. She found her standing outside the car, gripping some necklace in her hand, and she warily walked over to her.

"What—what kind of help?" she whispered.

Karen's eyes burned and she hugged her. "The best we can afford."

– – –

She lied there in a patch of Cherokee roses, her legs pulled up to her chest, her face crusty with tears, hardly blinking. She ran her fingertips over the petals of the Cherokee rose, feeling a pull inside of her. She would never tell Daryl about the therapists and the nutritionist Karen sent her to when Sophia was three. She didn't want any of them to know what she was like in the middle. She didn't even want to know what she was like in the middle, but of course she did.

Gorgeous? How could he think that? She wasn't, not this broken mess of a person. She wasn't the girl he fell in love with all those years ago, and she never would be again. That dark part of her would always remain and would one day come and overcome her. She didn't want Daryl around when that moment came. Sophia neither. She was going to make him take her should she become that mess again, and she wasn't going to take Sophia back until she was sure that person was gone, no matter how long it took.

She needed to change, didn't she? She needed to be strong. She had to get rid of this feeling; this cold, empty clutching inside. She just wanted to be normal again. How did she go back? It seemed impossible. Four years of Ed and it was as if those first nineteen years hadn't existed at all. He made it so easy to give in, but she had to fight it now. She had to fight, because it wasn't just her. It had never been just her.

It was like that day Sophia was hit by a car. That dark clutching came back, and it brought all of these emotions with it. She didn't know if she pushed them back and they're returning now or if they'd been with her all this time, just waiting for the opportune moment. That moment was now when talking was an option, but the words were too much. They had too much weight, too many meanings. So complex when it should be so simple; deep when it should be shallow. There was a part of her that no one had ever seen and no one ever will, not even Daryl. Especially not Daryl.

"Little Bookworm," she murmured softly. Her father was so strong and caring, and everyone said she was just like him. She was strong before Ed. She told off Mason Dixon and helped Daryl fight every foul word he—

She blinked and a tear fell. Every foul word he said about himself. God, it was just like before. Daryl was trying to help her as she helped him all those years ago. Why hadn't she seen it? He wanted to help her, because he loved her. She loved him so much then, and she would've died to convince him Mason was wrong. She spent years telling him how wrong he was, and somehow Daryl didn't see himself as that man anymore, did he? How? How did he do it?

"This spot taken?"

She looked up and found Shawn in front of her. "Shawn? What are you doing here?" She pushed herself up.

"Family dinner involves cooking, and as you know, I eat when I cook, so by the time it's done, I'm stuffed, and it's crap, because I ate all that made it good." He dropped down beside her. "I saw you run out here a couple hours ago, and when you didn't come back, I figured I'd come check on you." He reached over and peeled a blade of grass off her cheek. "You've been crying."

"Is that some superpower?" She sniffed, wiping under her eyes.

"No, you're nose is all big and red," he mused.

No laughter.

"This is serious, isn't it?" She nodded. "What did Ed do to you, kid? Don't you sit there and lie to me either. I know you, and you're so different now. Why are you faking it?"

"Because I'm screwed up," her voice broke.

"Who isn't?" He was serious. "Crying isn't going to make you change. Hiding it is only going to make you hate yourself. And it takes two people to talk, and I'm the one who's listening."

"I can't—"

"Screw can'ts! I am done with the word "can't"." He was pissed off. "I'm not going to go and hunt the man down, Carol, but I won't sit here and watch you get lost again. The last time that happened, I lost my sister. She still isn't back yet."

She met his eyes.

"I'm your brother, and I'm worried about you. Why won't you trust me?"

"I do trust you. I trust you all so much!"

"Then trust me to help you. You don't know how liberating talking is."

"What has Sasha done to my brother?" she mused. "And do we have to get him back?"

He smirked. "Many things, some involving whipped cream and chocolate syrup, but this is about you, and I am supposed to be serious and mature."

"You're gross and have forever ruined both whipped cream and chocolate syrup for me."

"Aside from the stickiness, it—"

"Shawn!" She covered her ears. "Stop!"

He laughed. "I'm kidding. I would never let her do that to me, but I totally did that to her. Maybe next time we can use marshmallows and cherries. One day, possibly never."

"Do you realize you're still talking?"

"Talk about Ed, and I'll shut up."

She sighed. "You'll hate me."

"I've hated you since Mom brought you home, all red and crying. I seriously thought I was getting a puppy, but no-ooo. I got a baby sister, and still no damn puppy twenty-seven years later. It hurt my manly feelings." He feigned being all teary. "All... Wait, do I have manly feelings?"

"You won't hate me?"

"I could never hate you. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have Sasha or my unborn twins. It's horrible, but you leaving caused the best thing to happen to me." He flicked a bug off his jeans. "Tell me what happened these past four years."

She folded her legs. "You won't like it."

"But I love you," he reminded her, "and I'm scared of Beth stabbing me if I try and eat the okra." She laughed softly. "Which reminds me we have a lot of time until dinner's done, so feel free to take as long as you want."

"You'll get pissed."

"I can take it. And if not, I'll swallow it and save it for a rainy day. Like Bob." He snickered. "He still flinches every time I'm around."

"What?"

"Well, when Sasha and I were broken up, he slept with her, so I punched him. He folded like a box."

"No way. Sasha and Bob?"

"Yeah, let's not talk about it. I still get pissed when I think of Sasha's exes, and since Bob is our family doctor, I want to keep that angry down. He's a great guy, and I respect him and hope he finds happiness."

"Dad would be so proud of you," she blurted.

"Doubtful."

"No, he would be. You're the son he always wanted, and he would tell you that if he were here."

"Look at you, lying to change the subject." He met her eyes. "So, Ed? Is that short for Edward?"

She nodded. "Where do I start?"

"Where it all goes to shit is typically where one starts."

"Okay. That would be when we were on our way home from the hospital after Sophia had got an ear infection. She was four months old, and..."

– – –

Maggie and Hershel set table, Beth and Annette brought out the food, and they all wondered where Shawn and Carol were. They were about to start looking as the food went from hot to warm and the sun started to set, but then Shawn called to them from the porch, apologizing, and Carol did the same when they entered.

"Where were you?" Annette had been so worried. She noted the grass stains. "Where you wrestling? You both look like you were hit by a car."

"We talked," Carol corrected. "We sat down by the pond and talked. I'm sorry. We lost track of the time."

"Well, go wash up."

"And hurry," Beth glared lightly.

"Yes, ma'am." Shawn smiled apologetically. "So sorry. I love your hair. Did you get it cu—"

"Go." She pointed to the bathroom.

They hurried down the hall, snorting a laugh, and they washed up in their bathrooms. They joined them at the table, Beth said a few words before they ate, and everyone dug in. It was still almost hot, and it was all really good, but Mag, Beth, Carol and Shawn saw the looks Hershel and Annette were giving each other from time to time. It made them worry.

"So, where's Sophia?" Hershel asked.

She covered her mouth with her hand so they wouldn't see the food in her mouth. "At Daryl's." She swallowed. "She's spending the night with him and Amy and Paige."

"She and Paige are close, aren't they?" Beth had noticed it on their trip to the zoo.

"Like family," Shawn agreed, knowing about their fathers after talking with Carol. "Practically sisters."

She kicked him. "She's Sophia's first real friend since we moved down here."

"It's sweet how protective Paige is of her. Like a big sister." Maggie crossed her legs. "I wonder where she gets that. Amy doesn't seem that protective."

"Have you met Andrea?" Shawn took a drink of water. "The vicious verbal and physical attacker?"

"You called Amy fat!" Beth shot back. "Andrea had a right to go off on you!"

"Shawn!" Annette scolded.

"I did not call her fat!" he protested. "I just say she looked bigger, as in taller. She assumed fat, and I got a black eye for that. And it was like nine years ago!"

"You called her fat," she insisted.

"Okay, fine. I called Amy fat, and Beth, those pants do make your ass look huge, and that color is not good on you, Maggie. What else? Oh, Carol, I don't like your hair. It's very bad hair."

Maggie and Carol snickered while Beth glared, stabbing her ham a little too hard.

"Shawn, please." Annette was trying not to smile.

"I hope your son is just like you," Beth told him.

"Thank you, Beth. That gets me right here." He held a hand over his heart.

"How does Sasha handle all the sarcasm?" Beth honestly wanted to know.

"Oh, she ignores me."

"What?" Carol laughed.

"Yeah, she just blocks me out." He ate a forkful of okra and noticed the looks they gave him. "She hears the important things." He paused. "Or just nods and hopes I'm not asking a question."

"Probably the second one," Beth informed him.

"It's what I do." Maggie shrugged. "Only with people I can't stand. All right, I do it sometimes you. You can sometimes get very...blah!"

Beth giggled. "Sorry." She pretended to cough, taking a drink of water.

"Well, I feel loved." He looked at his mom. "Do we have dessert? I'll need the whole thing to feel the gaping hole in my chest."

"I'll always love you," she offered.

"Just add salt to the wound." He dramatically got up and left.

"Was he talking?" Carol blinked as he left. "I zoned out."

They laughed, Shawn returned and poured gravy on her plate, covering all of her food, but not getting it on the tablecloth or on her.

He smirked and sat down. "We're out of a gravy."

"I'll show you salt in a wound."

"No, no, no, no!" Annette covered her mouth with her hand as Carol dumped the salt onto his hair, where it poured down onto his plate. "Oh."

"Guys, please," Beth begged. "I am not cleanin' up your mess."

"So much for maturity," Hershel murmured.

"Fine, fine. I'll be the bigger, lying person here." He ate some mashed potatoes. "Well, I've just eaten enough salt to last a lifetime." He shuddered, salt falling out of his hair. "Can I work this?" He pointed to his hair.

"If you were any more your father's son," Annette shook her head.

"I'm gonna wash up." He left the table. "Carol, make me another plate since your ruined mine, please and thank you."

"For Sasha's sake, I hope the twins are just like her," Hershel told them.

"For all our sakes," Beth agreed.

Shawn returned after ten minutes, they finished eating and cleared the table. They went into the living to have dessert and to talk about the Greene Leaf now that they were all stuffed and less willing to mess with each other. They were all such children, no matter how much time had passed. It was heartwarming to see them all so close still. Annette and Hershel both hoped that never changed.

"Shawn, do you want this?" Carol offered him the rest of her pie. "I'm so full."

"Sure."

"Does anybody want more coffee?" Carol asked the room.

"I do." Beth held her plate out, and Carol took it. "Thanks."

"Mag?"

"No, I'd actually like to sleep tonight." She poked a cherry with her fork.

"Mom? Dad?"

"No, thank you, pretty girl."

"Ill take a little more." Hershel smiled. "Thanks, Rosy."

"What about me?" Shawn asked. "I might want coffee."

"You're not allowed to have coffee," Hershel replied.

"Just because I accidentally caught the rug on fire and it almost burned the house down doesn't mean I shouldn't have coffee. It means I should be supervised when I am drinking coffee and lighting a fire."

"It means no coffee," Annette and Hershel told him.

"You'll have to tell me about that later." Carol left, setting the plates in the sink and getting the coffee pot. She returned and filled their cups.

"It wasn't too excitin'." Beth twisted hair around on her finger. "He and Sasha were here through a snow storm, and he drank about two pots of coffee, 'cause he was worried about us, and he wanted to be awake when we got home."

Maggie held her plate out to Carol. "His hands were shakin' so bad, he dropped a burnin' newspaper on the rug, and it went up in flames. But luckily, Sasha grabbed the fire extinguisher and put it out before it spread to the couch. To this day, we don't know why Sasha was wearin' his shirt."

"That's a much less exciting story you will never hear," he said over Maggie. "Coffee spilled, and let's leave it at that."

"T-dog might have hurt you for it," Beth teased.

"T didn't even like that I started dating her," he pointed out. "He accepted it over time, and now we're family, so I guess he likes me." He paused. "I honestly don't think Sasha ever told him why we called off the wedding."

"Well, Jacqui made us swear not to tell him," Annette admitted. "He might have broken you."

"He would've completely broken him," Maggie corrected. "Sasha was and is his baby girl, and he would've snapped at the news. Shawn, you would've been the only sin T's ever committed."

"So the Greene Leaf, remember that? Our reason for this lovely gathering," Shawn pressed.

"Right." Hershel set his cup of coffee down. "We want to discuss what happens to it when your mother and I have passed."

The mood shifted, Maggie pulled her legs to her chest, Beth's face dropped, Carol hugged herself, and Shawn set the plate beside him, not wanting the pie anymore. They knew they would have to talk about this, but they all hoped that day would never come.

"Do we have to?" Beth whispered.

"Yes, Bethy, we do."

"What do you two want to do with it?" Shawn inquired, his serious side out. Twice in one day, it might be a record. "Do you want one of us to own it or perhaps Jacqui? Or all of us?"

"We want to keep it in the family." Annette laced her fingers together. "Jacqui would look after it, so that's fine."

"I wouldn't mind managing it," Carol suggested. "I'm good with that type of thing. I even took a few classes about business management when I was in college, and I would love to work with Jacqui. We could do that together."

"All right, pretty girl. We'll talk to you and Jacqui about it tomorrow. How does that sound?"

"That's fine."

"What about the farm?" Maggie rested her arms in her lap.

"I'll tend to it," Beth said. "I love the animals and growin' fresh fruit and vegetables."

"Are you sure?" Hershel asked. "It's a big responsibility."

"I'm sure." She smiled. "And I want to."

"You can borrow my kids," Shawn offered, "any time when they're old enough."

"Gee, just what I wanted. How did you know?"

He laughed.

"Sophia would love to help out. She loves the horses and the cows and the—well, everything. She has names for them, and remembers which is which somehow." Carol wasn't sure who gave that to Sophia, possibly both. Daryl liked working the farm, and Carol loved working with the animals.

"All I have is Glenn." Maggie pursed her lips.

Shawn jumped on that. "You can have him sit on the porch and chew wheat while wearing a coverall with a pillow under it to give him a pot belly. Can he grow a beard?"

"Shawn, do you see this foot?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure? I think you need a closer look."

"All right, Jo Junior."

Maggie smirked. "Thanks."

"All right." Annette held her hands up to hush them. "That's enough for tonight. Who's washing the dishes?"

"I have to go tend to my very pregnant wife. Those twins could come out any minute now." He shot up. "I love you all. Sleep tight. Good bye." He left.

"I helped cook." Beth stretched her legs out.

"I'll help." Carol hopped up.

"Me too." Maggie climbed to her feet. "I'm drying."

"Fine, you can put them away too."

Shawn returned. "Sasha wants some of Beth's food, so I'll help them out it away."

They headed to the kitchen with the dishes in the living room, Hershel smiled at Annette, and she took his hand, returning his loving smile, and Beth went over to the piano and began to play, letting her parents enjoy the music. She wanted to make the most of these moments, when they were all together and happy. They were great moments to remember.

– – –

After speaking with her parents and Jacqui about the care of the Greene Leaf, Carol went to check on Sophia and Daryl. She found them upstairs in bed, passed out, and she smiled. Slipping out of her shoes and climbing into the space between them, She wrapped her arms around Sophia and fell asleep.

– – –

Andrea set files on the her desk, throwing away a wad of paper, and she was about to sit down when her assistant knocked on her door. She turned. "Yes?"

"An Amy Harrison is here to see you. Do you want me to show her in?"

"Amy?" She sounded disbelieving. "Yes. Yes, send her in, please." Could it be her? After all this time, had Amy finally sought her out? God, she could only hope so. She wanted to talk to her, but she disappeared on her at the wedding. Maybe now she had her chance.

Amy stepped into her office, closing the door, and Andrea looked her over. There she was, her not-so-little little sister, in white jeans and a black shirt with slits down the long sleeves, her long blond hair curled around her shoulders. She was skinnier, and gosh, she was so tall. They were probably the same height now, maybe Amy was an inch or two taller. She was still paler, but that was how it'd always been. She looked good. Healthy.

"Amy." She rushed over to her, embracing her tightly. "It's so good to see you!"

"So you missed me just a little, huh?" Amy teased.

She laughed, sniffing. "God, look at you." She couldn't stop smiling. "You're so tall and womanly."

"You saw me at the wedding." Amy blushed.

"Barely. You ran away from me."

"Er, well, you look...really good yourself."

"I'm so glad you came by. Can I get you anything? Water? Tea? Coffee, perhaps? Do you even like coffee?"

"Only with doughnuts. I'm good."

"Please, sit." She led her over to the couch. "Do you want to talk? Or do you need legal advise?"

"I wanted to talk, but...can we do it somewhere else? If not, I came back lat—"

"No, let's go. I just came back from a meeting, and I haven't had lunch. Actually, I could use a day off." She grabbed her jacket and keys from her desk, telling her assistant to clear her schedule. "Do you want to drive or shall I?"

"Let's just walk."

"All right. I have some clothes in my car for the gym. I'll go and change."

Amy waited outside while her sister changed, her palms moistening at the thought of her meeting Paige, but so far nothing was going wrong. Everything seemed to be all right, so she didn't have to worry about anything. If only her heart would believe logic. Gosh.

Andrea stepped out of the building in jeans and a silver blouse. "Ready?"

"Yeah."

They walked down the street, Andrea talked about her job to just pass time until they arrived at the park or wherever they were having lunch. Amy spotted Paige playing with Tyreese's black lab puppy. She waved at him, grateful for him taking time to watch Paige. She knew Butch needed fresh air too. He was so cute, with those big chocolate eyes and that snout. She wanted a dog, but there was no room for one, and she doubted Daryl wanted a dog and them living with him. Maybe one day when she had a house of her own.

"It's a nice day, isn't it?" Andrea was starting to run out of conversation starters. She didn't want to rush in and ask how Amy had been doing.

"It is." Amy stopped by a bench and held her arms out.

"What are you doing?" Andrea looked around and saw a little girl running over to them. She had curly brown hair that was spilling out of a braid with big blue-gray eyes, and she was smiling so wide. Andrea saw Amy all over her face, and the outfit—a blue and white stripped dress with an anchor over the breast and black denim boots with stars on them—was her sister's style. Could that little girl really be...?

Amy scooped her up. "Are you having fun?"

She nodded, breathless. "Butch retrieved the stick I threw—twice! He slobbered all over it too."

"Did you wash your hands?"

"Not yet."

"I have hand sanitizer in my purse." She reached into her purse and pulled out the small bottle of hand sanitizer, squirting some into Paige's hands and setting it back in her purse. "There, now you can shake hands with your Aunt Andrea."

Andrea's eyes widened. "Aunt?" She was so stunned. She knew the kid had to be Amy's because she looked just like her, but it was still so implausible to her. Amy was just a kid, but she had a child herself. When? This little girl couldn't be holder than five or six. Is that why she left?

"I'm Paige." She smiled at her aunt, holding her hand out.

Andrea shook her niece's hand. "Andrea."

"I made reservations at your favorite restaurant," Amy told her. "We can have lunch there."

"O—okay." She couldn't stop staring at her niece.

"It's right across the street." Amy stepped back and headed to the restaurant.

"She's pretty," Paige whispered to her mom.

She set Paige down. "Go tell her."

She turned and went over to Andrea. "You're really pretty."

Andrea knelt down. "Thank you, sweetheart." She touched her cheek, as if she was trying to see if she was real. "You are beautiful."

She blushed. "Thanks."

"How old are you?"

"Five."

"Five? My, you're such a big girl." She smiled. "You have pretty hair too. I love your braid."

"I like your hair too." She reached over and touched one of Andrea's curls.

"It's under the name Harrison." She glanced over at Andrea and Paige. "C'mon, you two."

Andrea stood up, Paige took her hand, and she looked down at the little girl before catching up to her sister.

They were sitting outside, the wind was blowing, and it was a nice day. Amy ordered for her and Paige, and Andrea noted that she didn't ask for separate bills. She knew Amy was probably going to pay for all three of them, even though Andrea would pay for herself. It was sweet and very like Amy.

"How have you been, Am?" Andrea took a drink of water.

"Not so great lately." She crossed her legs. "My uh—my apartment got broken into, so we have to leave."

"Oh, my God. Are you all right? Did either of you get hurt?"

"I'm fine. Paige wasn't hurt at all, thankfully."

Paige looked up from her cup. "I stopped him from hurting Mommy."

"Stopped him?" Andrea frowned. "How?"

"I stabbed him in the leg."

"What?" she exclaimed.

"Like Mommy taught me." She made a twisting motion with her little fist. "But it's really, really bad, so I don't unless I have to."

"Like Mommy... What happened to you?" She looked at her little sister.

Amy wrote drugs down on the napkin.

"Are you serious?"

"Just for a couple of months," she insisted. "I'm clean now. I don't use."

"Do you have someplace to stay? And is that why you stayed away for so long?"

"Yes, I have a place to stay, and...no." Her eyes moved to Paige.

"Were you ashamed?"

"Of course not. Not of her, anyway."

"Of who? Yourself?"

"Of what I used to do, yes. Besides I'm not the daughter they wanted, so I stopped trying to be." It was killing her faster than any drug.

"Not the daughter they wanted?" Andrea frowned. Why did she get that from? "Amy, Mom and Dad didn't want you to be anything but happy."

"That's not true, and I know it's not." Her voice was thick. "They always made time for you, never for me, and don't tell me that's not true either. It is. They didn't want to waste their time with me. I wasn't good enough for them."

"That is not true. It was very bad timing," Andrea informed her. "They wanted to go to all of your performances, but work came up. They couldn't get out of it, but they bought every video. They talked about you all of the time."

"I don't believe that."

"Honey, they were proud of you. You were talented in a different way, but they didn't care. You were happy, and that's all that mattered to them."

"I heard them yelling about me all the time, Andrea. They weren't proud."

"They weren't yelling about you."

"Then who else? Who else was the screw up of the family?"

"I—I don't know, but it wasn't you."

Amy could see Andrea believed that. If they weren't talking about her all of those times, then who were they disappointed in? Who they wished would change their ways? She didn't want to know. She didn't want to think about them right now. She wasn't even sure she wanted to see them, no matter how much Paige wanted to meet them. She was still so angry with them. She wasn't as mad at Andrea, but it still was difficult to be here.

"Are you married?" Andrea asked, wanting to change the subject. Perhaps, later they could talk about their parents when Paige wasn't around. It was going to be a very heavy conversation. One that would take time to get to unless Andrea forced Amy to talk about it. Amy had a lot of anger, but at least she was trying. That's all that mattered. "Or are you still intimate with Paige's father?"

"No. I'm not with him nor am I married to him." She stabbed a crouton in her salad, seeing Merle's face on it. "He's no longer in our lives."

"Who is he? If you don't mind me asking."

"Merle Dixon."

"Oh, God." She lowered her voice, looking into Amy's eyes. "Merle Dixon? Amy, are you insane? That was statutory rape."

"I hate that word. It was willing."

"You know what it means by definition." She shook her head. "Why him?"

"I was very high?"

"I'd say so." She sighed softly. "Does he know?"

"He does."

"Is he helping? Does he pay child support?"

"Should I laugh until I die now or just keel over?"

"Do you want him to? We can arrange that."

"I didn't come here for you to rob Merle of his last penny. I came here so Paige could meet her aunt. Just stop with all of the law talk. I don't want his money or his time. He's not in her life, and I want it that way, so let's just drop it."

"All right. I will."

The waiter came by and refilled their drinks, Amy squirted a little more ketchup onto Paige's plate, and Andrea asked for a coffee, rubbing her temple gently. They waited until he was gone to talk again.

"Where are you staying now?" Andrea stirred her coffee.

"With Daryl. It's only temporary. I have to save up for a new place." She ran her hand across her forehead. She'd been giving money to Tomas behind Merle's back. She couldn't leave it all up to him, and she didn't want that karma. She could've moved out at any time, but she knew Tomas would be right there, so she gave him the money each month. She knew she hadn't paid him off even half of the way, so it was satisfying to know he would never get his money back, and that he would never walk without a limp.

"You can stay with me," she offered.

"What? No."

"I have plenty of room. I have three guest bedrooms just gathering dust, and I have a dining room that's never used, not to mention a pool. You used to love to swim."

"I still do." She smiled. "I couldn't ask you to do that."

"I'm offering. It'll give me a chance to get to know my niece and my sister." She set her hand over Amy's. "Please, consider it. I'm putting money into a house I rarely use, so please come and use it."

She laughed. "Fine, I'll consider it."

"We're moving?" Paige pushed herself up.

"I don't know yet, babe. Maybe."

"Do you have a nice house?" Paige asked Andrea.

"Very nice. Do you like to swim?"

"I float, but yes."

"Well, I have a pool you can...float in. I also have a big backyard where you can run around. I can even get a swing set."

"Really?" Paige grinned.

"You don't have to do that," Amy insisted.

"I'll use it for my kids someday."

"I'm still considering it. It's not a yes, so stop trying to convince me. I can decide for myself."

"Me too," Paige chimed in. "I want ice cream...please?"

They laughed.

"Yes, you can have ice cream. We'll get it then walk through the park. Let's not waste the day."

"I like the sound of that," Andrea smiled.

––

"So, tell me something." Andrea ate a spoonful of strawberry ice cream.

"What?" Amy broke off a piece of chocolate-covered waffle bowl, watching Paige as she walked ahead of them with Butch and Tyreese.

"Why Merle? I don't mean to pry. I just want to understand."

"I dunno."

"Amy."

"He was the only guy who...I was attracted to."

"Seriously? The guy who called me sugartits?"

"And a whore," Amy added.

"Yes, let's not forget that."

She licked chocolate off her finger. "It was either him or Andrew, and I really loathed Andrew. I still do."

"Was...he your first?"

"No. He was my third."

"Third? Who were the other two?"

"That really cute pool boy and Tomas."

"You and Dave?" Andrea shuddered.

"Tomas deserves the shudder. Dave was sweet, gentle. I also like curly hair." She ate a spoonful of ice cream. "What's with that face?"

"Well, it's just the summer before, I was with Dave."

"Oh, gross!" Amy cringed. "I could've gone my entire life without knowing that."

"Me too."

Paige went to hug Butch goodbye, but he grabbed her ice cream and took off, Ty went after him, and Paige just blinked then turned to her mom, trying to speak, but Amy just held hers out to her.

"Here, you like chocolate too."

"Are you sure?"

"Uh-huh. I'll just steal Andrea's."

"No, you're not." Andrea ducked her hands.

"Well, clearly you've give me all of your other hand-me-downs, I figured you'd give me that too."

They walked around until the ice cream was gone, Andrea invited them to come over for dinner, and Paige accepted without even asking her mom. Amy was going to say yes anyway, so it didn't matter. She wanted to see where Andrea was staying now, and see if there was room. She had a lot of problems back at Daryl's. She was burdening him and practically violating his privacy, even if he won't say she is, and she loved the idea of Paige getting to know Andrea. After five years just the two of them, Paige needed someone else to turn to, and Andrea was the perfect person.

Her house was massive! The first floor was beautiful with wooden floors so shiny they could seem themselves, and the first room was the living room and the kitchen. It was so big, though! The living room had two leather couches, one brown loveseat and an armchair with a glass coffee table and a fireplace under the flat screen. And the rug was so decorative and the designs were so intricate.

The kitchen was strictly professional, with two ovens, a fridge stocked with just about every type of food, black marble-top counters, but the only place to sit was the island. The wall that lead to the backyard was almost all glass and showed the pool and a beautifully decorated veranda.

There was a bronze staircase that led to the upstairs, which mirrored the downstairs hall. Two bedrooms—the extra upstairs was an office, so hence the three bedrooms—one bathroom in the bigger bedroom, but there was bathroom down the hall too. There was a closet full of toiletries, and stained glass that shined soft colors onto the floor. The downstairs was of a garden and the upstairs was of a lake and a swan. It was very warm for such a big place.

"Make yourselves at home." Andrea led them down the stairs. "Can I get you guys something to drink?"

"Apple juice." Paige jumped off the last step. "Can we go swimming?"

"Not today." Amy joined her sister in the kitchen. "I'll do this."

"All right." She handed her the apple juice. "I swear, the maid buys so much food, way too much for me. I have to give most of it to T and Jacqui so they can use it for their monthly deliveries to those who can't go out and buy food themselves."

"That's sweet." She found about ten different types of glasses, and she grabbed two.

"You have a maid?" Paige was wide-eyed. "Are you a princess?"

Andrea laughed. "No. No, I just come from money. Your mom too."

Amy shook her head violently toward Andrea.

"You do?" She turned.

"Uhh, yeah." She glared at Andrea, filling a glass with apple juice. "I have some issues with my parents."

"What issues?"

"Nothing you need to worry about." She handed her the glass. "Can she watch TV?"

"Sure. The remote's on the coffee table."

"Careful." Amy watched her as she went into the living room, set the cup on the coffee table, grabbed the remote and climbed onto the couch. She then hit Andrea. "Why did you tell her that?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't know it was a secret."

"Well, now it's not." She groaned softly. "I didn't want her to know that. I don't want her to know about our parents' money."

"Am, she'll see it for herself at Mom's birthday party." Andrea closed the juice and paused. "Do—do you plan on going?"

"Yes." She crossed her arms, leaning against the counter. "No. Maybe. Uh-uh."

"Amy, don't 'uh-uh'. Either you're going or you're not." She placed it back in the fridge.

"I haven't made up my mind. It's not for another two weeks, so I have got time."

"Fine. What do you want for dinner?"

"You don't have to cater to me. Just make whatever you were planning on making."

"I was going to eat a salad and pass out at my desk." She looked over the contents in her fridge. "I could literally cook anything."

She smiled. "How about chicken dumplings and mashed potatoes?"

"Even that." She began to pull out the ingredients. "I have the recipe in that drawer."

"Mom gave you the recipe?" She opened the drawer and found a cookbook. "I'm taking a copy. I love her cooking. I miss it. I can't cook well. I try, but I guess I'm just the type to eat it than cook it."

"Well, I had to bug her about it for seven years, and sometime last year she gave that book to me."

"You've never made it, have you?" She flipped through the book.

"Once, but it'd been a while since I made it."

"I'll help. Or give us food poisoning." She found the page and ran her fingertips over her mother's handwriting. She missed her mother so much.

"You okay?"

"Y—yeah." She cleared her throat. "I'm just thirsty. I only got Paige something."

"Why don't you get started, and I'll make us something to drink?"

"Okay."

They changed places, Andrea grabbed another glass from the cabinet, and Amy looked for the measuring cup. Paige watched her mom and aunt, happy for her mom, but she was still really sad about her dad. She'd always wanted to meet him, and when they finally met, he hated her. She didn't want him to hate her, and she wanted to make it right, but she didn't know what she did. She was sorry for whatever it was. She wished he knew that.

– – –

Daryl woke up, the room was dark, and he blinked, smelling flowers against his nose. He felt his arms around someone, and he sat up, seeing Carol lying in his arms with Sophia in her arms, and he blinked. When the hell did Carol come over?

He reached over and grabbed his phone, seeing it was five in the evening. "Shit." He pushed himself up, waking Carol accidentally, and he ran a hand down his face. He knew they should've gone to bed before that damn marathon. Damn it, it's late.

"What is it?" Carol sat up, her body right against his, and she saw the reason he said shit. "Oh, no. It's five?" She shook Sophia gently and slid off the bed. She slipped her foot into her boot. "She'll never go to sleep tonight."

"I'm sorry."

"No, no, no. This is on me. I fell asleep with you two when I should've woken you guys up." She zipped up her boot then the other. "We should go."

"Why?"

"Do you want us to stay?" She tugged the thin strap of her dress up and tucked hair behind her ear. "Do you?"

"I don't mind y'all stayin'."

"Good, because she's not waking up." She set Sophia closer to the middle of the bed. "How late were you two up?"

"One or two." He shrugged. Tsk, five.

She closed the door behind them and went to the bathroom, fixing her hair and adjusting her bra. She didn't even have room to roll, why was it so out of place?

"How does pizza sound?"

"Gross." She opened the door, leaning on the opposite frame as him. "How about Chinese?"

"No."

"What then? Do you want me to cook?"

"Do you wanna?"

"I don't care to. I can make steak and potatoes or hamburgers and fries or spaghetti and garlic bread. Which do you want?"

"What do you want?"

"I'm asking you." She pushed off the frame. "And I asked first."

He shrugged.

"Well, what sounds good?"

"Food sounds good."

She smiled. "Gee, why didn't I think of that?"

His lips twitched. "Hamburgers, I guess."

"Okay." She turned and headed downstairs. "Have you fed Bella?"

"Shit, no." He followed her into the kitchen and grabbed the bag of food out from under the island, filling her bowl. "She's probably curled up with Sophia."

"Probably." She set a pack of ground beef on the counter. "Oh, I am so having a turkey burger." She grabbed the ground turkey.

"More beef for me and the kid."

"More for you. Sophia likes turkey too." She looked for the frying pan and spatula.

"I move 'em." He moved by her and showed her where they were, she turned and got smacked by the metal spatula, but at least it was flimsy metal. "Shit!"

"When you said you'd show me, I didn't think you meant that close." She smiled a little. "I'm okay."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it." She grasped the spatula. "I'm cooking by the way, so go sit and watch TV or something." He studied her, and she titled her head. "What?"

"You seem...different."

"Is it a bad different or a good different?"

"I dunno. We'll see."

"I guess we will. Especially when Karen comes to visit."

He repressed a groan. "Do I gotta meet her?"

"Yes, you have to meet her." She faced him. "I want her to get to know you."

"Why?"

"Because she's my best friend, and you're my—ex-husband and the father of my child, who she is godmother of. If I die, you'll have to put up with her to raise Sophia."

"You'd leave Sophia to me?"

"Of course. You're her father, and I love you." She blushed, hearing the tone she used for those three words. It sure as hell wasn't friendly.

He met her eyes. "You love me?"

"Well, yeah, you're my best friend too." She smiled awkwardly. "I've told you time and again that I love you, silly."

He nodded, dropping his eyes.

"Besides, you're a good father, and I wouldn't take Sophia away from you. You show her that there are good men out there. You wash away Ed's darkness." She couldn't stop the blush that appeared. "Thank you for giving me a second chance, even if it was just so you could find out if Sophia was yours. I value you, Daryl. You don't know how much."

"Carol." He leaned down—

"Mommy?" Sophia called from the top of the stairs, yawning.

Carol set the spatula down and went to her, scooping her up. "Good evening."

"Evening?" Sophia mumbled sleepily, resting her head on her mom's shoulder. "Where's Daddy?"

"In the kitchen." She minded Bella as she walked down the steps. "See."

"Hi, Daddy."

"Finally up?"

She let out a small, sleepy moan.

"One or two, huh?" Carol narrowed her eyes at him. "It was five or six, wasn't it?"

"Yeah," he confessed.

"Are you making breakfast?" Sophia asked.

"Dinner. Do you want a turkey burger?"

She nodded.

"Daryl, could you pour her a glass of orange juice?" She stepped in to the kitchen as he grabbed a glass and the orange juice out of the fridge. She held her hand out as he filled the glass up, and she held it, helping Sophia take small sips. "God, you've drained her of all life."

He smirked. "She's fine."

"She's not drooling on your shoulder." She carried her over to the couch. "Let's see what's on." She found cartoons and let Sophia watch them, going to the kitchen to prepare dinner. "Tell me your trick when she's hyped up on sugar."

He watched her start dinner for a moment then in to the living room, finding Sophia curled up against the arm of the couch, watching some cartoon. He sat in the armchair. What the hell was he thinking?

– – –

Paige was buried in covers beside her mom, her face nuzzled against a soft pillow. They decided to stay the night, mostly because Paige had fallen asleep after dinner. Amy could hear Andrea coming down the hall, her feet echoing on the polished wood, and she looked up when Andrea appeared in the door.

It was so strange to see her there when it was normally the other away around before. So many times when they were little, Amy would sneak up to Andrea's room and ask to come in and talk. They'd end up with one of them on the floor with the blanket and the other hogging the bed. Their mom would come in and cover the one on the bed up after the third time it happened.

"Hey." She lingered in the doorway. "You up?"

"Yeah."

"Paige?"

"Out like a light." She pushed herself up a little, and Andrea walked over to the bed. "She sleeps like a rock, so don't worry about waking her."

"Now, that she got from you." She crawled under the sheets. "You're were a pain in the ass to wake up for school."

She laughed softly. "Especially in winter. It was so cold outside and the warm bed was just perfect."

Andrea turned her head to her little sister, lifting her hand toward her, and Amy set her fingertips on Andrea's. They'd been doing it since they were little. It was like a game that only they understood. "Why can't you sleep?"

"My thoughts won't shut up."

A beat.

"I want to talk about Mom and Dad."

"And with my daughter sleeping right beside me and you right there, it keeps me from bolting and raising my voice."

"I'm not cornering you." Yes, she was.

"Feels like it." She poked Andrea's palm with her fingernail. "What's to talk about? I left, they didn't care, and I had a kid. That's pretty much all that matters."

"Okay, explain to me why you think Mom and Dad don't care about you?"

"Because for the past five years, the only person I could rely on was Merle. He was literally my everything. He had my back while our parents just threw another Christmas party."

"They did care," she informed her. "They had everyone they could hire, persuade and bribe to try and find you. They talked to all of your teachers and friends; they talked to the cops, but they were too busy with some murderer. Amy, Mom and Dad spent thousands trying to locate you."

"I'm calling bullshit. If they had done any of that, they would've found me. I was just on the other side of town for Christ's sake."

"I'm not lying. Maybe the people they hired were incompetent, but they never gave up. They missed you every single morning. I would come down for breakfast, and the minute Mom saw your empty seat, she broke down crying. Dad eventually moved the chair, but it didn't help."

"She probably cried over the fact her pricy little chair was too used to be returned," Amy muttered.

Repressing a groan, she went on. "Dad started drinking. He couldn't console Mom, and he didn't know how to handle his own grief, so he drank. They lost one of the companies, and I had to help Dale get it back, because they were a mess." Tears welled in Andrea's eyes at the memories. "Mom—Mom shut down after they didn't find you, Am. At first it was barely eating then it was barely getting out of bed. Dad hired a nurse to look after her, but she hasn't spoken in years."

Amy swallowed. "She always craved attention."

Andrea sniffed. "Why won't you just accept that our parents have fallen apart since you left?"

Because it means all of her angry was for nothing. All that kept her away, all that kept her from giving Paige a decent life, was just a lie. She didn't want Paige to grow up with the stress of the Horvath name, but because of that Paige has missed out on so much. Having an aunt, who would always be here for her, grandparents, who would spoil and love her, and a great uncle that would give her all this useless wisdom. She had to be angry. Angry was better than guilty.

Her eyes burned, but she scoffed. "She's just putting on a show. Mom only ever cared about you and that bakery. Dad and his employees were so lost in work, I doubt he noticed I was gone. And if he did, he was probably glad to be rid of me. He was probably drinking in celebration."

"That is not true." She kept her voice low, not wanting to wake Paige. "They miss you every day, Amy. They pray for you and talk about you all the time."

"Mom wasn't talking, remember? Keep up with your lies." She wiped a hand under her eyes just in case any tears fell.

"They being Dad and Dale. Mom just sits most days, gazing off into space, and she'll start to cry sometimes. She misses you so much, and she worries so much about you. It's killing her to not know, Amy. Every day a piece of her soul dies, and I don't think there's much left.

"And Dad just forces himself to work. He doesn't even make time for lunches with anyone, because when he stops, he thinks about you, and it cuts him deep. You were his little dancer, and he was so ready to buy you a studio and help you manage it. He talked about it all the time when you were little, and he was going to everything to help you. He was proud of you, Am They both are so proud of you."

Amy's nose burned, and she looked over at her older sister. "He—he did?"

"All the time. You and I were always the first thing he talked about at parties. He always got so excited about your next recital and my next competition, and he couldn't even talk. They would just start laughing at him, and Mom would have to explain, because he didn't know where to start."

"If that was true, why didn't he ever say any of that to my face?"

"He didn't want to pressure you. He knew you weren't good under pressure, so he kept it to his friends and to me. He wanted you to do this because you were passionate about it, not because he expected you to do it."

She was quiet.

"Not everything is what it seemed. Mom only got onto you about school, because she wanted to make sure you could have something to fall back on in case something happened. Say, you were injured and couldn't dance anymore. She wanted you to have a secure future."

She was wrong. So very, very wrong, and other people had been paying the price. Paige didn't know how good a Christmas or how fun a Thanksgiving could be. It was just the two of them, and Amy could scarcely afford what Paige wanted. She always did her best, and Paige loved that, but all this time, Paige could've been genuinely surprised on Christmas; she could've heard those stupid stories Dad always told on Thanksgiving and could've joined their family Easter egg hunt that took hours to complete, because the yard was massive and they hide eggs everywhere.

Amy could've gotten away from her mistakes with Merle and Tomas. She could've gotten an actual degree. She might have gotten a good night's sleep almost every night, not worrying about bills and who was going to take care of Paige if anything happened to her.

So many could'ves. They were useless now, because Amy was so pigheaded and selfish. She didn't want to even consider the possibility that her family had suffered from her leaving. It was always easier to just think they wanted her to leave, to think that they hated her. It took away the guilt, and she didn't miss them. It was just how she protected herself, and because she did that, her parents suffered. Paige suffered, because a few summers Amy couldn't afford to keep them both fed while paying off Tomas. Paige felt guilty that she had food, and her mom didn't.

After a long silence with both of them in tears, feeling guilty and selfish and so stupid, they wiped away their tears and their mistakes. It was long overdue.

"So, it's still my fault."

"We can all assign blame," Andrea whispered. "Mom and Dad aren't the best at knowing when to give a compliment and when to reprimand. They never were."

"I can't...just go and see them."

"No, you can't just go and see them," Andrea grasped Amy's hand, "but we can."

Fresh tears burned in her eyes, and she smiled. "I love you, Andrea. I really missed you."

"Me too."

"Can you tell me something?" Amy rubbed her eyes dry.

"What?"

"Why were you crying?"

"Guilt."

"Guilt? What for?"

"For never telling you about how proud they were of you when I could see how they made you feel like a disappointment." She shook her head. "I guess I was just jealous since they only talked about you to me. It was cruel of me."

"You—you were jealous? Of me?"

"Only a little bit."

She laughed.

"Besides, look at the little girl. She's precious. Who wouldn't be jealous? I guess Merle's good one for thing."

"Thank you. I'll be sure to thank Merle for his sperm." She shook her head. "Wow, I can't believe you were jealous of me. All that time, I was jealous of you."

She laughed. "Really?"

"Yes. All Mom and Dad talked about to me was you."

"That's—so like them."

"And us."

She shook her head. "Well, I'm glad to have that out in the open."

"I'm glad to have had this talk. I missed talking to you about anything and everything."

"I can't say I miss the endless "what if" questions. You used to bug me until two in the morning. Do you remember that?"

"Yes. I really wanted to know."

"Uh-huh."

Amy nuzzled her face against her pillow. "I'm tired."

"So am I." She didn't move. "I don't want to walk back upstairs."

"Well, if you feel the urge to kick, try to roll instead. If I fall, Paige falls."

"I don't kick in my sleep anymore."

"Good."

"Is that everything?" Andrea looked at her sister. "I feel like there should've been more."

"That's everything for now." She paused. "Okay, Dale always knew about me and Paige."

"What?" She gasped.

"Shh." She pointed to Paige. "Hush."

"He always knew? Why didn't he tell us?"

"I begged him not to. I didn't want them to try and get Paige taken away from me, and I didn't—don't want her to grow up under all the stress of their expectations. That's why I left in the first place, and I don't want Paige to follow in my footsteps. Really don't."

"I can't believe he didn't tell me. I used to talk to him every week about how your leaving was my fault, and he'd look so upset, but I thought it was because he didn't like me blaming that on myself. He knew you were fine the whole time." She rolled onto her side to face Amy. "You're the person he wrote monthly checks to!"

She nodded.

"He always was so angry, because you never cashed them. I told him to stop wasting checks, but he was so determined. We got into an argument about it, because it made no sense to me. Now, it does."

"I didn't want his money, but I sent him a thank-you card each time he sent me a check."

"God, you are so pigheaded. I would've used the money."

"I wanted a fresh started with nothing to remind me of my old life. I love Dale and I am so grateful to him for helping me with Paige when she was a baby, but he didn't owe me anything. I wasn't going to let him do that for me. I provided for her, and we made it. We're doing just fine."

"That's admirable." She tucked hair behind her ear. "Do you still dance?"

"Not all the time like before, but sometimes I do."

She nodded, her eyes closing.

"Do you still visit the range?" Amy yawned into her pillow.

"Yeah."

The conversation stopped shortly after, both of them falling asleep, warm and contented. It took five years to get this far, and about five minutes to make up with Andrea. Her parents were another matter, and she wasn't sure she could do it, but she was going to try. Carol was right; they had a right to know their granddaughter. She owed them an introduction too.

––

"All right, she's sleeping like the dead. She wanted me to tell you good night." Carol entered the living room. "Did you drug her or something? She's so tired today, and she could barely keep her head up during dinner."

"What, you ain't ever woke up exhausted?"

"She's five. She should have endless energy." She sat on the coffee table since he was sitting with his legs on the couch as well. "She told me about the movie marathon, and she said she had fun watching it with Daddy."

He half-smiled.

"You are her new favorite person." She smiled. "She wants to spend the night next Saturday as well. I don't have a problem with it as long as you don't."

"It's fine."

"Well, great. Karen's coming in, and I want to spend some time with her. So after you two meet, could you watch Sophia? It'd only be for a few hours the next day."

"Sure."

"Thank you."

"What're you gonna talk to her 'bout?" He met her eyes.

"Mostly see if anything's changed with Ed." Most how I'm in love with you, Daryl, she thought. "I also want to talk to her about Noah and her grandmother. I've grown really close to her family, so...I want to make sure they're all right. Milton—her husband—is coming with her, so I can just ask him how he's been doing."

"I don't gotta be there for that, do I?"

She smirked. "No, you don't." She set her hands in her lap. "You can just have dinner or maybe lunch with us. It's up to you, but I really want you to know her, if only a little."

"I wanna thank her," Daryl told her, "so don't worry 'bout me tryin' to bail."

"Thank her?"

"For savin' my daughter and my—er, for savin' you."

She smiled, her cheeks turning pink. "She didn't do it for thanks, but I'm sure she'll still be pleased to hear it."

A beat.

He set his feet on the floor. "You stayin' over?"

"If it's not a problem. Sophia has school tomorrow, and as much as I trust you, you don't wake up sometimes. I don't want her to miss any more school."

He nodded. "You sleepin' with her?"

"Where else would I sleep?"

With him. "The couch?"

"As appealing as that sounds, I'll pass." She stood up. "I will see you in the morning."

"Night."

She stepped over his legs then stopped, turned and placed a thank you kiss to his temple. "Good night." She headed upstairs, and she felt his eyes on her. She returned to the room where Sophia slept and crawled into bed, turning the light out, and she smiled to herself.

––

"Another?" Ethan asked, a slight groan to his already groggy tone.

"Just one more." She climbed off the bed and grabbed a short book off the shelf then returned, holding it out.

Ethan rubbed his eyes and took the book, moving beside her, and he smirked. "I thought you didn't like these lovey-dovey books."

"I don't hate them," she said.

He laughed, but mostly because he was exhausted, and he knew she was just trying to keep him there as long as possible. He had business to attend to out of town. It was family business, and he didn't want to drag Carol, Shawn and Annette out there to deal with it, so he was going alone. He had a noon flight, Thank the Lord, but that didn't stop Carol from wanting to spend every second with him. She rarely saw him as it was.

"Well, all right." He yawned into his fist and cleared his throat. "Do you believe in love?"

She looked at him. "What do you mean?"

"Not that nonsense fell-in-love-after-knowing-someone-for-two-minutes love, but actual love. Do you believe there's someone out there for everybody?"

"For Shawn's sake, I hope so."

He smiled. "That's not an answer."

She shrugged.

"Well, sometimes you don't find love." He opened the book. "Sometimes loves finds you. That's why we don't meet people by accident. They were meant to cross our path for a reason."

"Like you and Mommy?"

"Yes, exactly like that." He pushed a curly strand out of her face. "Don't be afraid to chase after your dream, kiddo."

"I thought we were talking about love."

"Sometimes your dream and your love are the same thing."

"That doesn't make sense."

"Well, my dream right now is to be asleep before it's one o' clock in the morning, and I love sleep." He yawned again. "Okay, once upon a time...the end."

"Dad!"

"All right, all right."

He read the tale to her, praying she'd fall asleep before he finished, and he silently rejoiced when her eyes lids began to drop. He felt her head hit his arm, and she didn't move back, so he waited, reading so softly, and he lifted his arm gently, seeing she was out cold.

He set the book down on the floor, picked her up and pulled the covers back, setting her down and tucking her in. He moved that pesky curl behind her ear. "Good night, Little Bookworm." He flicked the light off and pulled the door shut.

He checked in on Shawn, and of course he was passed out. He went to bed, finding Annette still awake. "Next time, you're reading to her."

She smiled. "Uh, no, but good try."

He lied down. "I'm so tired. Why couldn't she sleep like Shawn?"

"Because setting fireworks off in his nose wouldn't wake Shawn, and God didn't want to give us two kids like that," she replied. "Right, and you got her into books."

"Well, my mistake." He exhaled. "Why're you still up?"

"It's nothing."

"Nothing's kept you up?"

She sighed. "He's been calling again."

He closed his eyes. "What about?"

"The same old." She adjusted her wedding band. "Perhaps you shou—"

"No. I'm done with all of that." He pushed the covers back and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm not going to get involved. I'm done with them and their shit."

"Ethan."

"I just—I'm not the son they wanted, and I'm going to live my life the way I want. Carol and Shawn aren't getting dragged into their drama."

"I agree entirely. I just wish you would speak to them. They're still your family."

"Some family. They won't even let me live my life."

"We could always move, and pray you somehow become independently wealthy."

He smirked. "I'm very lucky."

"Yes, you are."

He clasped her hand. "I never told you how much it means to me that you stand by my decisions without questioning my reasons."

She smiled. "I know."

"Of course you do." He kissed her gently then turned the light off and lied down, wrapping his arms around her. "Annette?"

"Hmm?" She turned her head to look at him.

"Don't tell Carol and Shawn," he whispered. "Not ever."

"But—"

"Promise me."

She nodded. "I promise." She relaxed against him. "I love you."

"I love you too." He kissed her shoulder. "Good night."

"Good morning, but only if we're getting technical." She laughed when he groaned.

"I'm burning Carol's books. It's official."

"Yes, I'm sure that'll work. Burn down the library and school while you're at it."

"Shawn would love that."

"Yes," she laughed, "he would."

"I sometimes wonder if Emily would've been more like Shawn or Carol," he wondered, voice soft.

"I'm sure Emily was like both of them." She gazed out the window. "She probably would've liked to draw. Shawn has the skill, but he's too lazy to finish anything, and Carol's terrible, but draws all the time."

He held her a little tighter. "I'm sure she would've made you a soccer mom."

"Violin."

"Soccer."

"Violin," she pressed.

"Soccer." He began to tickle her, and she squirmed, trying to get away, and he laughed at the sound of her laugh. She covered her mouth with her hand so the kids wouldn't wake, and she sent him a glare, and he laughed again. "Maybe our grandchildren will play the violin."

"Or soccer."