"Stop splashing!" Amy covered her face. "Andrea!"
She laughed. "What? I can't stop her."
"Bah, Beth!" Amy pulled her legs out of the water. "I'll drown you."
"You'll have to catch me first." She dove underwater.
"Paige, sic her."
Paige sat against the window under the shade of the umbrella, looking over pictures. She had been silent since her nightmare the other night, and Amy couldn't get her to go swimming, just got the suit on her. At least she wasn't overheating.
"No, thanks," Paige whispered.
"All right." Amy heard the doorbell. "That must be Carol. I'll get it." She grabbed her lace cover up and hurried to get the door, tugging it over her head. She opened the door and smiled widely. "Hey."
"Sorry, we're late." Carol snatched the hat off Sophia's head. "She's embarrassed about her haircut."
"Mommy!" She reached for the hat.
"Oh, my gosh." Amy bent down. "That is adorable."
She blushed and ran into the house.
"She thinks it's too short." She shook her head. "Could you give me a hand?"
"With what?" Amy followed her over to her car.
"Just c'mere." Carol opened the trunk and pulled out a box. "Open it."
"A surprise gift? I love those." She smiled. "You didn't have to get me anything."
"It's from Shawn, actually."
"Shawn?" She opened the box and gasped.
"What?"
"Nothing." She closed it and grabbed it. "It's nothing."
"Should I be worried?"
"No, of course not. It's just...umm, I'll explain everything to you later." She stepped back. "Thank you for bringing me this. I need to send him a thank-you note."
Carol grabbed her bag and close the trunk. "So, who all is here?"
"Beth, Andrea, you girls, and Maggie is coming." She walked backwards. "Is Daryl not coming?"
"Daryl is pulling a massive disappearing act. He wasn't in bed this morning again. Sophia's starting to notice the change between us, and I have to tell her something. Maybe I can say it's me trying to root out what gift he's giving me for my birthday."
"You still haven't told her?" Amy frowned. "You need to tell her. She won't care if it's one or both of you, just as long as you tell her."
"I know, but I really want Daryl to be there."
"Sophia needs to do, and needs outweigh wants."
"I know. I'll tell her. Tonight, I promise."
"Don't promise me. I'm not the one sneaking around to have hot sex with my ex."
"We are not sneaking around."
"Uh-huh, sure you're not." She stepped inside the house. "So, how is it?"
"How is...what?" She crossed her arms.
"That good, huh?"
"Go put your secret box away."
She laughed as Carol blushed even more. "Help yourself to the drinks." She headed down the hall to her room. "Oh, and close the door!"
Carol turned and started to close the door, seeing someone across the street. She frowned. Was that...Merle? She tried to double check, but he was gone, so she closed the door. Weird, but so very like Merle.
Carol joined them in backyard, setting her bag by the table and smiling at Paige, who was curled up in the shade. "Hey, sweetheart."
She smiled back. "Hey."
"Why are you over here?" She sat down beside her.
"I don't wanna swim." She shrugged. "And I found this album."
"Can I look at the pictures with you?"
She nodded, moving closer. "Are these my grandparents? I know that's Dale."
"Oh, that's right; you met Dale yesterday. How was it?" She pushed her sunglasses up into her hair.
"He's nerdy, but I love him! He's really sweet." She smiled happily. "He's really smart and funny sometimes."
"Yeah, he is. My dad and he were friends. They went to school together."
"Oh, is this your dad?" Paige turned the page and pointed to a man by Dale.
"Yeah, that's my dad." She was stunned. She didn't know they had any pictures of her dad, let alone so young with Dale and Allen. They were at a Christmas party, and Andrea and Amy's Mom was there, Dale's wife, but Carol's mom wasn't there. They were so young, and probably not married yet—none of them were wearing wedding rings. Huh, they looked so happy.
"Shawn looks like him."
"He does."
"Was he a good dad?"
"He was the best. He was kind, supportive, funny and easygoing, but he could be strict when he needed to be."
"What happened to him?"
"He died when I was young."
"I'm sorry.
"Thanks." She put her arm around Paige and hugged her. "Okay, who else in here?"
Amy closed the door and saw Carol and Paige smiling while looking over the family album, and she smiled, glad to see her cheering up. She sat down beside Sophia. "Hey, kiddo."
She sighed. "Hi."
"Okay, that's not a happy hi." She nudged her shoulder. "It's a good haircut. It looks really good."
"No, it doesn't. I look like a boy."
"You look like Sophia."
Beth swam over to them. "What's with the frowny face?"
"She hates her haircut," Amy answered.
"Why? It's so cute."
"No, it's not." Sophia's tone was annoyed. "It's stupid."
"You wanna talk stupid?" Beth moved hair out of her face. "I got a haircut once, and the woman who cut my hair got it all wrong. I had zigzag bangs and my hair was so uneven. It looked like a toddler cut my hair. I had to wear a hat until it grew out. Hand me my phone, please, Am."
Amy grabbed it off the chair and flipped through her photo. "Oh—my god." She laughed. "Wow, that's bad."
"Lemme see." Sophia stood up, and Amy showed her. She started giggling.
"Yes, it was bad. Stop laughin'." Beth glared.
"I have to send this to my phone." Amy laughed.
"Amy, don't!" Beth climbed out of the pool and went after her. "Amy!"
"No running," Andrea called from where she lounged, tanning.
"Mommy." Sophia walked over to where she and Paige were, no longer hating her haircut as much. "What are you looking at?"
"We are looking at a photo album." She set Sophia in her lap so she could see. "Paige's going to meet grandparents tomorrow."
"Mommy wasn't ready on Grandma's birthday," Paige mumbled. "I'm scared."
"Don't be scared. It'll be fun."
"What if they don't like me?" Paige closed the album. "Mommy said they wouldn't like Merle."
"You are not Merle."
"But he's my father."
"They'll love you," Sophia assured her. "You're awesome and sweet and funny."
She smiled. "You too."
"Will you swim with us?"
"I don't know how."
"Oh, Andrea can teach you." Carol set her sunglasses on the table. "She taught me, and it's really easy."
"She won't let me drown?"
"Never." She called to her. "Andrea!"
"What?" She sat up, opening her eyes.
"Your niece wants to learn how to swim, and she wants you to be her teacher."
"Oh?" Andrea stood up. "You wanna learn?"
She swallowed hard.
"Hey, it's all right to trust me. I will hold your hands as long as you want, okay? Will you let me teach you?"
"...yes, please."
"Then get over here." Andrea slipped into the pool.
Paige set the album down and pulled her t-shirt off, kicking off her sandals. She walked over to her aunt and hesitated.
"I won't let you go." She held her hands out. "I swear. And you can see the bottom, and we're all right here."
She set her foot in the water then immediately pulled it back out. "Can—can we go slow?"
"We can take as long as you need."
"Okay." She took Andrea's hands and tried the steps again.
"Amy, give it!" Beth jumped on her back and reached for her phone.
"Okay, okay!" She let her take it.
"Thank you."
"You weight more than you look."
"Hey, girls, watch out." She pushed Amy into the pool.
"Hey! I'm trying to teach Paige how to swim, and she's scared enough as it is." Andrea scolded. "Can you please can your age?"
"Sorry."
Amy surfaced, pushing hair out of her face and wiping water from her eyes. "Beth."
"You had it comin'." She set her phone on the table and looked at her older sister. "You gettin' in?"
"Oh, no. I may soak my feet, but that's it." Carol folded Paige's and Sophia's shirts.
"What? Who comes to a pool party and only gets their feet wet?"
"Uh, well me." She shrugged.
"Carol, don't be ashamed of your body. I know it's...different."
She blinked and narrowed her eyes. "Different?"
"Since you had Sophia. Stretch marks and all," Beth quickly covered. "No one here is goin' to judge you."
"I'm fine just putting my feet in."
"Not acceptable." Amy rested her arms on the hot ground. "You have to get in here. I bought two swimsuits last night; you can wear the one piece. It's really cute and covers your back and torso."
"I don't want to swim."
"It's only gonna get hotter," Beth reminded her. "You'll seriously melt before you swim?"
"Yes."
"We'll see." Beth slipped back into the pool.
"I'm going to make drinks." Carol walked over to the door. "Who wants some?"
"As long as there's no alcohol, I'll take one." Amy gathered her hair and wrung it out, walking towards to the steps.
"Same for me," Beth chimed in.
"I have a drink." Andrea gave Paige an encouraging smile.
"Okay. I'll get the girls some fruit punch."
The door opened, Carol jumped back and Merle fell onto his face on the hot cement, and Maggie stood behind him, arm extend out like she'd just shoved him.
"Who claims the prev?" Maggie asked.
Merle sat back on his knees, sending her a foul glare then noticed the others. He didn't see much of Beth, who was by the wall of the pool, or Carol, who still wore clothes, but he saw Andrea in her skimpy, flesh tone bikini. Then his eyes moved to Amy as she came out of the pool in this sexy little cream-colored bikini that appreciated her tits and hips.
"I do." She wrapped a towel around herself as he stood up, and she pushed him back inside, closing the door. "What the hell are you doing here?!"
He thought quickly. "Just came by to talk."
"To talk?" She didn't believe him. "About what? We have nothing to talk about. You made it perfectly clear what you wanted, and it wasn't our daughter, so just get out!"
"Keep your voice down!" He saw Paige watching them through the window. "Just let me explain."
"Then talk quickly."
"Look, I just want to..." To what? What could he tell her? He was going to watch her every move to make sure no one tried to hurt her kid? She would just lash out and say she didn't need protecting. How was he going to work this?
"Just want to what?" She crossed her arms, eying him.
"I wanted to see how you settled in, make sure y'all were all right."
"Oh, bullshit! We've been here for how long now? A month almost? And you don't care how we've settled in." She glared. "You know what, I don't care why you're here. Just get out! Don't ever show your face here again."
"Mommy?" Paige peered in, hidden mostly by the door.
"Paige!" She turned.
Merle looked her over. She looked cute, her hair in pigtails and she was wearing a pink swimsuit. She had legs, just like her mom. She was going to be tall one day. Part of him wanted to see that day, but another part knew it was best that he didn't.
"Hi." She looked at him.
"Hi." His voice was rough, so he cleared his throat. "How are you?"
"You don't get to ask that," Amy growled. "Baby, go and let Andrea teach you how to swim. I just need to talk to Merle for a second."
"She can't swim?"
"No." Why was she talking to him?
Paige walked over to him. "I know you don't like me, and I'm sorry."
"Paige—"
"No, it's okay. I have my aunts and Daryl and Dale and you, Mommy." She glanced at her mom. "I just want to hug him goodbye. Can I?"
Amy gave him a pleading look.
He nodded. "'Course." His voice was thick. She thought he didn't like her. Of course she did. He ran out on her, and he didn't even give an excuse as to why. She probably thought he didn't want her, and even if it was true at the time, it wasn't now. He just couldn't let his life ruin hers. He couldn't.
She reached up with her arms, and he bent down and hugged her. She was so small, and she smelled like pool water and sunscreen, but goddamn, she was so small. He and Amy had created this little girl. God damn. He fell to his knees and held her tighter, feeling her little hands on his shoulders. He felt... Shit, he didn't know. He thought he might actually lose his shit for a moment, but he forced it back. She didn't need to see him cry, and he sure as hell wasn't going to let Amy see him cry. How long was he allowed to hold her, he wondered.
Amy watched as Merle accepted her hug, and her eyes burned when he just...fell to his knees and held her closer. She'd done many things with Merle and to Merle, but never hugged him. Sometimes when she felt lonely, she'd move his arms around her and pretend he was holding her, but it wasn't real. It wasn't an actual hug. He didn't like them, and yet...there he was, prolonging hugging his daughter. She knew then what he had been doing, and she was both grateful and aggravated. He was so challenging sometimes. God, he could make it all so easy if he would just...
She exhaled softly as Paige finally let him go.
She kissed his cheek, feeling his rough stubble, and she stepped back. "Bye, Merle."
He said nothing as she turned and returned to her aunt and her lesson. He swallowed hard and stood up. "Sorry to interrupt y'all's fun."
"That's okay." She gave him a small smile. "Now get outta here." She said it softly, but still meant it.
He inhaled deeply and walked out the front door.
Amy followed and locked the door behind him, resting the back of her head against the firm wood. God, that man. She shook her head. No. No, no, no, no. She groaned and pushed off the door. Don't go there. Do not go there!
She removed the towel and stepped out the back door. "Sorry about that."
"You all right?" Maggie frowned at the look in her eyes.
"Yes, I am." She smiled. "Help me to get Carol into a bathing suit. She doesn't swim apparently."
"Oh, bull." Maggie looked at her. "You, upstairs now."
"Why don't you help your daughter swim, Am?" Carol replied. "Oh, and Mag, work on tanning your abs."
"I always wanted abs," Amy commented. "Now, I want her in the pool. You get her legs."
"What?" Carol backed up. "You're joking, right?"
"No."
"Andrea!" Carol pleaded.
"Just don't throw her in down here, okay?" Andrea had finally gotten Paige off the steps. "It's okay, I'm right here."
"I got her arms." Amy smirked.
"Guys, don't. Stop!" She turned and ran away.
"Go!" Maggie pointed behind them. "Cut her off!"
Beth laughed as they cornered Carol, watching Sophia and making sure she didn't go too far in. "Run, Carol."
"Please, don't!" Carol dodged Amy and ran around to the other side. "I'm making drinks, so stop!" She hurried inside, and they laughed.
"After the drinks are made," Amy whispered.
"Yeah." Maggie nodded, taking a seat in the shade.
"Hey, Am, give me a hand," Andrea called.
"I suck at teaching people how to swim." She got into the water. "But don't worry, I won't let you go, baby."
"Come hold her hands, so I can hold her stomach."
"All right." Amy switched placed with Andrea and Andrea got out of the pool. "Andrea!"
"Relax." She sat on the edge. "You'll do fine."
She huffed. "Okay, just float, yeah? Then we'll kick water into Andrea's face."
"Just try." Andrea smirked.
"All right. You're out of ice." Carol didn't dare go outside. "I'm gonna go get some."
"I'll come." Maggie hopped up. "We don't have tomatoes for the burgers."
"You're driving."
"Only if you swim."
"Mag."
"Carol."
"We'll see."
"Yes, we will, 'cause I'm relentless." She grabbed the keys and headed out to her car. "Normally, I'd suggest swimmin' in your bra and panties, but the kids shouldn't see what lacy unmentionables you're wearin' for Daryl these days."
"Ha ha ha. Screw you." Carol pulled the front door closed.
"It would appear I ain't the only one who looks damn good in black lace."
"Is this what the entire ride is going to be like?"
"Pretty much, yeah."
"Great. What's next? Our positions?"
"There's more than one? Go Daryl."
She flushed. "I—Shut up and drive!"
She laughed and teased Carol the entire drive to the store. Carol quipped right back, but Maggie had a dirty mind. Carol did as well, once the embarrassment subsided, and they were both teasing each other about Glenn and Daryl and lacy unmentionables.
"All right, I'll get the ice and frozen yogurt."
"I thought we came for ice and tomatoes." Carol closed the door.
"We did, but frozen yogurt sounds really good, don't you think?"
"Get two kinds, just for variety."
She nodded. "I'll meet you at the checkout counter."
Carol found the vegetables and looked over the selection of tomatoes. It'd been easier to go to the farm and get tomatoes, but it would've taken longer, and she didn't want Maggie to try and find her a swimsuit. She loved swimming—she and Daryl used to swim all the time—but now her body was scarred and she didn't want to explain why. She wasn't ready for them to know. It kind of made her mad that Amy was trying to get her to change when she knew about the abuse. Once piece or not, Carol just didn't feel confident enough.
She smiled to herself, remembering the other night with Daryl. Sophia was over at Andrea's for the night, so Carol went over to Daryl's to spend the night. He'd just taken his shirt off and kissed her with such a hunger it made her body tingle to even think about it, and he pulled her shirt up. He'd never really looked at her scars before, because she would always turn his attention elsewhere; but that night, he looked them over closely, making her so uncomfortable. He slowly leaned and kissed every single scar on her stomach, taking his time, running his lips across them. It was the only time she didn't hate them.
Tomatoes! Right. She shook her head and grabbed three of the best ones and met Maggie at the checkout counter. She set the bag down beside the ice and yogurt. "Hey, I'm gonna run across the street and get iced tea. Do you want one?"
"If they have raspberry, yes. Thanks."
She weaved through the crowd, hurried across the street and into the Rhee's pizza shop. She smiled at Glenn and asked for two raspberry iced teas. His sister, Fayte, made it from scratch. It was the best in town, and she only made for maybe May, June and July. She hadn't had one in years, and it sounded so good.
"Here. It's on the house."
"You sure?" She frowned.
"Yes. I get food from the Greene Leaf all the time for free." He smiled.
"Well, thank you." She returned his smile. "How's your day been?"
"Eh." He shrugged, handing her two straws. "It'll be better when I get off."
"I know what you mean." She pushed the straws through the holes in the lids and tossed the wrappers into the trash. "Have a good day. I'll see you later. Thank you, again."
"Watch yourself crossing the street, and you're welcome!"
She returned to the car, leaning against the trunk as Maggie and Haley spoke, ringing up their items. She squinted in the sunlight and sipped on the delicious tea. She saw a woman a few feet away and nearly choked on the tea, her heart stopping.
Elizabeth Blake or Peletier or whatever her last name was standing across the street, holding the hat she wore down so the wind wouldn't blow it away, and she was talking to someone, turning.
"Hey, scoot." Maggie saw the fear in Carol's eyes. "What?"
The woman turned, and it wasn't Elizabeth.
"Nothing." She cleared her throat and picked up Maggie's drink so she could unlock the trunk. "It's nothing." Oh, thank you, God. If Phillip had found her or if Eliza was here on vacation, she would've been screwed. She knew Eliza didn't know about the abuse, and she would demand Carol go back to Ed and try to work it out. She would say how Carol was violating his rights as Sophia's "father", and she might even call Ed.
Thank God it wasn't her. She pushed hair out of her eyes. That took years off her life. Gosh.
– – –
Carol woke up for no reason that morning. She moaned sleepily, seeing it was still pretty early. She rolled over, feeling Daryl's arm around her back, and she nuzzled her face against the pillow, trying to fall back asleep, but she was up now.
Daryl began to rouse behind her, his legs moving between hers, and he exhaled softly. "What time is it?"
"Ten." She pushed hair out of her face. "Where's Sophia?"
"Floor." He gestured to her side.
She leaned over and found Sophia curled up on a pile of pillows and Bella coiled up in her arms. She ruffled her hair gently then yawned. "I'll make some coffee...sometime." She didn't want to move. She never wanted to move when Daryl held her in his arms. "No, I gotta change." She tried to sit up, but he didn't let her. "Daryl, stop."
He kissed her shoulder. "She's sleepin'." He kissed her lightly.
"We have rules." She pulled back. "No kissing in front of Sophia, asleep or awake. Since you bailed last night, she still doesn't know, so stop it."
He studied her face, not speaking.
"What?" She rubbed her eyes with the heel of her hands, and she found him still watching her. "Do I have drool on my face?" She wiped at her mouth. "Did I get it?"
He grasped her hand. "Move in with me."
"What?" She laughed.
"Move in with me."
She gulped when she realized he was serious. "Daryl... We just started dating. We said we weren't going to rush into anything. That's rushing. We have to take this slow."
"Says who?"
"Everybody."
"You ain't everybody."
"Daryl." Her tone said no.
He released her, sitting up and moving off the bed.
"Daryl." She crawled to the edge of the bed. "Look at me. Please?"
His eyes flickered to hers as he stood in the doorway to the bathroom. "What?"
"I love you so, so much, but this is too soon. We haven't even gone on a date." She ran a hand through her hair, pushing it out of her face. "I'm not saying one date, and we're living together, but it's a step in that direction."
"Fine. We'll go on a date tonight. Dinner...'bout six?"
"I do owe you."
He smirked. "Yeah, you do."
"I'll go make some coffee." She hopped up and kissed him. "Good morning, by the way."
"Morin'."
She headed downstairs in a tank top and underwear. She wondered how Sophia went from sleeping in between them to being on the floor. Surely, she didn't climb down to just sleep on the floor. Carol didn't want to think about accidentally kicking her off the bed either. Maybe Daryl set her down so she could use the bathroom or something.
She watched as the pot filled with coffee, her arms folded on the counter, and she sighed, feeling a smile cross her lips. She wasn't ready to live with him just yet, but she knew she would in time. She loved waking up to him.
Daryl came downstairs with Sophia and set her down on one of the stools with a back and grabbed three bowls. "Cornflakes or frosted?"
"Frosted, please." She gently ran her fingers over Bella's back.
"Here, honey." Carol took Bella and set her on the floor by her food. "I'll get the milk."
"Do you want an apple or grapefruit?" Daryl set the bowls down along with a box of cereal.
"Apple." Carol grabbed the milk, three spoons, and a knife. "Do you want granola, Sophia?"
"No, I have my cereal."
"Mmm'kay." She sat down, placing the milk down.
Daryl handed Carol the granola and an apple before taking his seat. He shook out frosted cereal into two bowls then poured milk over them, sliding a bowl over to Sophia. He picked up his spoon and glanced at Carol as she peeled the apple then began to eat.
"All right." Carol swallowed. "Sophia, we need to talk to you."
"What?" Daryl tensed. "Now?"
"It's now or never. Besides, we're all here." She ate a slice of apple, tossing the peelings into the trashcan behind her. "Okay, you've noticed something different between us, right?"
Sophia nodded, not wanting to talk with her mouth full.
"Well, it's nothing's bad. We're not fighting or anything." She reached over and took his hand. "Your father and I are...back together. We're dating again."
She stopped chewing and looked from her mom to her dad and back again.
"We meant to tell you sooner, but you know, things happen, and we got busy. We wanted to tell you together, so..." She looked over Sophia's face. "Are you okay, Sophia?"
She swallowed hard. "You're back together?"
"Yeah." Daryl nodded. "Are you okay with that?"
"Okay with it?" She slowly smiled. "Yeah, yes, I am!" She started grinning. "Oh, my gosh, this is amazing! I've been waiting forever for this!"
"We're sorry we're stupid and took so long."
"It's okay!" She squealed.
"Breathe, Sophia." Carol laughed.
"Are you gonna get married?"
"Okay." She released his hand. "Sophia, baby, we're just dating right now. Maybe one day, we might get married and move in here, but I don't know yet. We are taking our relationship slow, so we don't end up rushing into something."
She pursed her lips, disappointed, but nodded.
Daryl glanced at Carol then ate another spoonful of cereal.
"Hey, Daddy?" Sophia shifted on the stool.
"Hmm?"
"Can you teach me...how to ride a bike?"
"You wanna learn?"
She nodded.
"I can try to teach you. I ain't ever had a bike, just the motorcycle, but I can try. Can't be that hard."
Carol held a hand up. "Let me buy knee pads and elbow pads and any other protective wear first, please."
"We don't even got the bike yet."
"There's one at the farm. Shawn, me, Beth and Mag learned how to ride on it. My dad was too worried to let us learn for some unknown reason, so Hershel taught us."
Sophia looked confused. "But Grandpa is your dad."
"Yes, Grandpa is my dad, but by marriage. My real father died when I was younger. Grandma married Hershel."
"Oh."
"Shit, I'm late." He shoveled in two big spoonfuls of cereal, chewed and swallowed without choking himself. "Yeah, I'll give a buck later."
"Two," Sophia reminded him. "You used the d-word last night."
"And the GD-word," Carol teased.
He grabbed his boots. "I'll pay later."
Carol joined him by the door. "We won't be home today, so if you need me call."
"Why?"
"Amy wants to meet her parents first, so I'm taking the girls to the mall for a couple of hours while she does that."
"All right." He leaned down and kissed her briefly, because Sophia was watching, and he grabbed the jacket behind Carol. "See you tonight."
"I'll leave a note to tell you where to meet me." She smiled. "Drive safe."
"I will, woman, damn."
"Keep it up, and your entire paycheck will be mine."
"I'm goin'. Bye, Sophia."
"Bye."
Carol stepped out with him, leaving the door cracked, and she kissed him briefly. "I look forward tonight." She watched him disappear into the garage then drive off. She slipped back inside.
– – –
"We're having dinner with them tonight, I promise." Amy sat in Carol's car, speaking to Paige who was whining about not being able to go with her mom. "I'll call you when...it's calm."
Carol nodded. "Just take a breathe. It's all right."
She exhaled. "I'm going to throw up." She opened the door.
"Aim for the bushes."
She inhaled deeply. "I will see you soon, honey."
Paige huffed. "Sure."
Amy stood up, too terrified to even hear her daughter's bitterness, and she closed the door, walking up to the gate. She took a deep breathe and pushed the buzzer, knowing Andrea and Dale were already inside and waiting for her.
"Come in." It was Dale.
She glanced back at Carol as the gates opened. "I can't—"
"You can! You march your butt up that drive and go see them!" She locked the car doors. "You can do this, just don't think about it and go!"
"Okay, yeah, I can totally do this." She swallowed and headed inside, the weight of her leaving slammed into her, and she felt so queasy. She heard Carol drive off, and she knew there was no turning back. "Okay." She walked up the brick path, the scent of the flowers calming her nerves a little, and she saw the front door. The black, shiny paint with the gold-colored lion-head knocker and the three letters she'd never forgotten.
Summoning her courage, she lifted her chin and walked over to the door, ringing the doorbell, hearing the chime inside. She smoothed her dress out, tugging her black jacket closed. She'd spent four hours in her sister's closet trying to find the perfect outfit. She'd settled on this. It was a navy blue, sleeveless dress with a swingy, layered hem. If her legs sweat, she hoped the skirt's design would create some air flow when she walked.
She'd even put on makeup to accentuate her eyes and to make her look her age, mature. She'd curled her hair the way her mom used to like, and she wore the ring her father had given her for her fifteen birthday. She was surprised she'd kept it, but she was glad she did. It was a nice reminder of before, and hopefully would let him see she was still his daughter. Hopefully.
The door opened, her stomach dropped, because there stood Allen Horvath. His once blond hair was graying now, his face older, but he was still handsome and businessman-looking. He still wore those black pants with a sweater and undershirt. He hadn't changed one bit, had he? The only difference were his eyes. They held a sadness that she saw before they began to fill with tears at the sight of her.
"A—Amy?" His voice was barely above a whisper, and it was heavy with disbelief and relief.
"Hi, Dad." She smiled.
"My darling girl." He wrapped his arms around her, and she was suffocated by his hug. "Oh, thank God, thank God, thank God." His entire body shook as he sobbed happy tears. She was all right. She was right in front of him, solid and warm in his arms. He'd dreamed of this moment for five long years, imagining all of the ways they would met and all the ways he and she would react. He had even dreamed of the other outcome; his heart would race every time someone knocked on the door when they weren't expecting company, fearing it was the police there to tell them they'd found Amy's body.
"Let me look at you." He released her. "Gracious, look at you. You're so beautiful, and—and tall." She smiled as he stared at her, her fearing leaving her entirely as he did. "You look just like your mother." He pulled her in for another hug.
"Dad?"
"Mmm?"
"I can't breathe."
"Right." He let her go and stepped aside. "Please, come inside."
"Thanks." She stepped inside. The house hadn't changed. It was still gorgeous, massive and had that smell of old books she loved. She saw Andrea and Dale in the den having a glass of Scotch that Merle would die to taste.
Wait, what? Merle? She was thinking of Merle? Why was she thinking of Merle?
"Andrea, Dale, look who it is!" He guided her into the den, as giddy as a child on Christmas after getting the gift he'd "inconspicuously" told his parents he wanted. He sighed after seeing their phony surprised faces. "You both have already seen her."
"Sorry, Dad." Andrea smiled a little. "She came to me last month, and—"
"Last month?!" he exclaimed. "And I'm only finding out—No, no, no. It's all right. Better later than never."
"Where's Mom?" Amy scanned the room.
"Resting upstairs." He motioned for her to sit. "I'll get her in a moment. Can I get you something to drink? Scotch? Wine? Do you like wine?"
"I don't drink."
"Water then?"
"That'd be great."
"I'll be right back." He looked at her as if he thought she was going to disappear the moment he left the room, but he went to her water personally.
"So far so good." Amy removed her jacket and set it on her legs when she took a seat. "How...is she today?"
"A little tired." Dale sat on the sofa. "You're nervous?"
"Very." She crossed her legs and rested her hands on her knee. "This place hasn't changed at all."
"You should see your old room." Andrea set her glass down. "It's practically a shrine."
"They kept my room?" Amy sounded amazed. "I have to see it before I leave."
"Leave?" Allen returned with a glass of ice water. "You're going?"
"Not yet." She accepted the water. "We were just talking about my old room. You and Mom didn't give my stuff to charity?"
"It was all we had left of you; we weren't going to part with it." He sat down in the chair across from her. "So, tell me how you've been. You look very healthy, very fit. Are you still dancing?"
"I dance from time to time—nothing professional or anything, just for me for now." She met his eyes. "I've been busy with a lot of things."
"What type of things? Anything I can help with?"
"No, no. I quit my job, so I'm trying to find a job that I actually am passionate about. It's been difficult."
"Oh? What job was this?"
"At a preschool."
His eyebrows rose. "A preschool? Why at a preschool? Last time I saw you, you weren't fond of children." He then frowned. "Did you go to college? Or even graduate from high school?"
"No, I did not go to college. I do have my high school diploma."
"That's fantastic." He smiled. "We can get you into college immediately. You're an intelligent girl, and I'm sure... What is it?"
"I...can't go to college right now, and if I do, I don't want you paying for it. I'm not a child; I can pay my own fees."
"College isn't going to be easy, and you won't be able to save up enough money."
"Well, I have time. I'm only twenty-two. I'll manage."
He nodded. "If you need help, please call me. I'll help."
"Dad, I didn't come back to take your money, and you can't buy me back."
"I—I'm not trying to. I just want to help you."
"I need to refresh this." Andrea stood up, referring to her drink. "Come help me with that, Dale."
They bolted from the room, Amy set the glass of water down on the table under a coaster, and Allen laced his fingers together, elbows on his knees. There was an awkward silence, and Amy would rather the fear come back. She hated silences like these.
"So...you're not here to deny my help; what brings you here after all these years?"
"I wanted...to talk to you and Mom. I wanted to see how you were doing." She didn't look at him.
"Well, it's not been great, Amy." His tone wasn't blaming, but it wasn't gentle either. "Your mother seems to be flirting with the edge lately. She hasn't spoken in years, rarely eats, and she spends most of her time staring out into the back garden where you and Andrea used to play as girls."
"Andrea told me about that." She lifted her eyes. "She also told me about your drinking."
"Yes, well, I no longer have a drinking problem; I only drink on certain occasions now, like when I need to make a toast." He rubbed his hands together. "I keep drinks here for my business associates, and for when Dale and Andrea come over for dinner."
She nodded.
"You can't even begin to imagine how this feels," he said softly, looking at her. "Five years of "what ifs" and wondering if perhaps someone took you and you didn't just run away, wondering if someone was hurting you or..." he didn't finish. "But to see you sitting right across from me... I'm not sure how I feel. Relieved and thankful, but...also outraged. How could you just leave? Were we such bad parents? You didn't even write a note for us to know what the hell happened to you."
She blinked hard. "I didn't think you'd notice, if I'm being honest."
"Didn't think I'd—You're my daughter. I raised you, changed your diapers, soothed your fevers and endured your ever tantrum. You were challenging at times, but you were still and always will be my daughter. I'll love you no matter what, and I apologize for never...for never being there when you needed me to be there. When you needed us to be there."
Tears formed in her eyes. "I—I know you loved me, but it was just easier if I told myself you hated me. I'm the one who should be sorry." Her voice broke. "I never meant to hurt you or Mom. I love you both so much, and I—I let you suffer, because I was selfish. I'm sorry, Dad."
He sat beside her on the sofa. "We both made mistakes, and we suffered for them. I'm the one mostly at blame. I never was there for you, and I am so sorry. If I could go back and change it all, I would."
She wiped at her eyes, not wanting to get into it with him then with her mother. "I need to talk to you and to Mom together. It's kind of important. May...may I see her?"
"Yes, but...take a minute." He wiped a tear from her cheek.
She nodded and took a deep breathe. "I'm okay." She would save her tears when she told them about Merle and Tomas. They would have to understand what happened before they met Paige. If they didn't, they would only see Paige this once, and that would be it. Her mistakes brought her the most amazing gift, and nothing would ever make her turn back time. They needed to understand that.
Walking up the stairs, Amy saw all of the photos that had taken after she left. The annual family photos were so dreary; it made her chest tighten. The school photos of Andrea were nice, but some of the smiles were forced. She noticed they didn't even have a Christmas photo from the year she left. Damn, they always took a Christmas photo. Through sickness, snowstorms and acne, they took a Christmas photo.
"Through here. We moved her into the guest bedroom, so she'd have a better view of the garden, get some light." He opened the door and Amy peered inside, seeing her mother lying in bed, reading an old book. "Go ahead."
Her mother's long hair was braided over her shoulder, and unlike her father, she still had her original blonde hair color. Her face was too old her age however; she had horrible bags, and her eyes were darker than Amy remembered. She looked like Amy's grandmother, who was ninety-seven when Amy was six. Still, even with all of that, she looked so very beautiful, a picture of elegance, lying there in a silk blue nightgown. She looked as if someone was painting her. It would be a breathtaking portrait.
"Mom?" Amy slowly closed the space between them. "Mother?"
Her mom's eyes began to fill with tears as the sound of her little girl's voice, and she lowered the book, daring herself to look over. She was terrified this was just a dream as it had been so many times before. She didn't want to be teased only to wake with empty arms in the darkness of her room. She couldn't handle that.
"Mom?" She lowered herself down onto her knees by the bed, setting a tentative hand over her mother's. "It's me, Mom. It's really me." Her eyes filled with tears. "It's—"
"A—Amy?" Her voice was a croak, very rough and dry, but it was her voice. The voice Amy had dreamed of reprimanding her when they finally found her, the voice that would tell her to get in the car and that would ground her forever.
She nodded, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Yes."
She turned to look at her, and she hugged her. There were no need for words now. She just needed to hold her daughter in her arms.
––
After two painfully long hours of Amy explaining to them what happened with Tomas and Merle and Andrew, they were beginning to understand...that she was talking. She didn't how they felt about it; she wasn't exactly thrilled about what she did either, but she had Paige, so she was glad it did. She really could've lived without having sex with Tomas, but that's what drove her to Merle.
"Explain something to me." Her mother accepted the hot tea Andrea offered her, and Andrea climbed onto the bed beside Amy, giving Dale two sugar cubes. "Isn't Merle Dixon ten years older than his brother who is the same age as Carol?"
"He's eight years older." Amy bit her bottom lip.
"And...you're three years younger than Carol..."
"Look, it's not a big deal." Amy held her hands up. "Yes, it wasn't legal, but it was willing, so no rape. No!" She cut her father off when he started shaking his head. "We aren't going to argue over this. It happened, okay? Just move on, please."
"And he took care of you?" Allen asked.
"Yes. He took very good care of me."
"But he turn you on to drugs," Maura argued. "How was that good for you?"
"Merle didn't really turn me onto drugs; I took a few pills from his stash, so...I got me into drugs. He just...provided them."
"And you're clean now?" Allen frowned, disbelieving. "How?"
"I wasn't doing meth, okay, Dad? I dabble here and there, but I was smart about it." She tucked hair behind her ear. "And I got clean because I had no choice."
"You were rehabilitated?" Maura set the spoon she'd used to mix honey into her tea down on the tray.
"No, no." She rested her hands on her ankles. "I got pregnant."
Total silence. Her parents' mouth were gaping at her with wide eyes, and they had no words. They weren't sure what to say, and Amy didn't know if they were taking this well or not. She checked the time on her watch, and Carol would be there in ten minutes.
"P—pre—pregnant?" Allen finally managed. "He—got you pregnant?"
She nodded.
"Why weren't you using protection? Have you gotten yourself checked? Merle Dixon is probably—"
"I don't have any STDs, and we were using condoms." God, this is awkward. They never had the sex talk with her, and there she was saying 'condoms'. Man, this was just two steps from being hell. "We just..." No, no, no. Lie. "It broke, I assume. I left him after he brought home another woman, and I found out I was pregnant."
"Another woman? How classy. What did he intend—?"
"Dad!" Amy glared. "Don't even."
"We have a grandchild?" Her mom was smiling.
"You have a granddaughter."
"A granddaughter." She got all tear-eyed. "Well, how old is she? What's her name? Where is she? Do you have a picture?"
"She's five." Amy cursed silently remembering her phone was in her jacket pocket downstairs. "I don't have my phone with me, or I'd show you. Um, her name is Paige."
"She's beautiful," Andrea assured them. "And so sweet and intelligent."
"And she's coming over for dinner," Dale added.
"She—she's coming over for dinner?" her mother paled. She needed to shower, needed to change and look decent. She wouldn't have her own grandchild think her grandmother was a slob. "Oh, my goodness. What are we even having for dinner?"
"Fish." Her dad seemed stuck on the fact that his baby had a baby.
"Paige loves fish, so don't worry." Amy slid off the bed. "She's on her way over here by now, so I'm going to wait for her by the door."
"I'll wait with her." Andrea hopped up and they left together. "You just scared the shit out of them."
"I know. Did you see Mom? She's so pale."
"I don't know if they'll let Merle having sex with you go."
"After they meet Paige, I don't think that will be a problem."
"Let's hope so."
"Well, if they disown me after all of that, I'm stealing their best crystal and pawning it to pay for my new house. If I ever find a house."
"You're looking?"
"I can't mooch off you forever. I need to get back on my feet, and I'm sorta doing it now. I just hope it pays off."
"What are you sorta doing?"
"You'll see. I don't want to jinx it, so I'm not saying anything."
"I can feel the suspense now."
She smiled. "You have a whole month, so enjoy."
"You're just evil."
She giggled and heard the buzzer. She opened the gate and went out to meet her daughter halfway. She picked her up. "Okay, you ready?"
"Yes."
"Good. They're just dying to meet you."
"That's good, right?"
"Yes, it's good."
They returned to the house, Andrea and Amy showed Paige around while her mother made herself presentable and her father accepted the fact that he was grandfather with a lot of help from Dale. She showed Paige her old bedroom, and it was as if Amy had just stepped out two minutes ago, not five years ago.
"Wow." Paige went over to her mom's vanity and opened the jewelry box. "How pretty." She pulled out a mermaid necklace.
"That was my favorite necklace when I was younger." She took a seat beside her on the cushioned bench. "Do you like it?"
She nodded.
"Well, here." She took the necklace and fastened it around her daughter's neck. "That looks better on you."
She touched the mermaid and smiled. "Why didn't you take it with you?"
"I only took clothes with me. I was wearing this ring at the time." She looked through the drawers and found all of her jewelry still inside. "I'll never wear these."
"Why not?"
"Most of them are fantasy creatures, and I'm too old for them." She moved Paige's hair back and held an earring over her ear. "You want to get your ears pierced?"
"Does it hurt?"
"No, but you don't have to."
"Can we do it before...you know?"
"How do you know?" Amy stared.
"I heard you talking on the phone."
"You need to stop eavesdropping." Amy smiled though. "Yes, we can. We can use these diamond earrings. Or do you want to pick a different pair?"
"No, those are fine." She turned and looked around. "Is that you?" She hopped up and went over to the pictures on Amy's desk.
She turned on the bench. "Yes. I was two years older than you."
"You were pretty then too."
"Aww, thanks." She glanced over her room. "I rarely spent time in here."
"You didn't?" She picked up a picture of her mom and aunt.
"No, I was always out. I loved nature—I still do." She rose and walked over to her closet, opening it. "I wonder if any of these still fit."
"Mommy?"
"Yes?" Amy poked her head out of her closet.
"Can I keep this?" She held up a yearbook.
"Yeah, I doubt they'll mind."
She nodded and set it on bed, joining her mom in her closet. "Oh, my gosh!"
"I know. I loved clothes way too much." She held a silk blouse over her, and it might still fit. "I may have to take some of these. Poor as I am, I need good-looking clothes for interviews." She saw the different types of shoes that filled almost an entire wall, and checked the size. Most of them wouldn't fit, but some might. She needed to get her parents to donate them to charity. They were going to waste up here. These clothes as well.
"Look, Mommy."
She turned and smiled. "You look beautiful, like a proper lady."
She giggled, wearing long white gloves and a white top hat that Amy had to wear for a high school dance performance. "Why did you leave?" She couldn't understand. Her mom had all of nice things here—a bed, clothes, pretty jewelry, Aunt Andrea, Dale, her parents. Why did she leave?
"I will tell you the whole story one day." She grabbed the black top hat. "Until then, I think you need a dress for that hat, mi'lady."
She giggled again. "You too."
They dressed up and played in her closet until her father came and told her dinner was ready. They were dancing to music and almost didn't hear, because they were still in the closet and laughing loudly. When Allen saw Amy in some of her old clothes and dancing, he almost thought it was five years ago. Almost.
"We'll right down." Amy removed the hat and tugged at the gloves; he nodded and left. "You can keep that on, but I need to change."
"But you look great!"
"Yes, but I can't sit down. I'll be right out."
Paige stepped out of the closet, setting the hat on the bed by the yearbook, while her mom changed. Once she replaced the clothes, she closed the door and they left the room. They headed to the dining room as dinner was being served, and Maura and Allen couldn't stop staring at Paige. Amy hoped it wasn't because of the outfit.
"There." Amy set the knife down and Paige began to eat the smaller bites of buttered potatoes.
"So, Paige, how are you?"
She looked at her grandmother. "A little nervous." It'd really hit her when they came downstairs.
"Oh, please don't be nervous."
Easier said than done, Amy thought as she ate a bite of fish, sharing a look with Andrea.
"How do you like school?" Allen asked.
"I like school. Me and my friend Sophia are the smartest in our class." She was proud of it.
"That's incredible." He cleared this throat. "And your favorite subject?"
"Math."
The questioning went on and on, but with each question, the tension in the air shrunk. Paige felt like they were friends, not family, but that was okay for now. They were still family no matter how she felt, and one day, they would feel like family to her.
– – –
"Big date?" Annette hovered by the door to her oldest daughter's room.
"Yes."
Beth was on the bed, legs crossed, looking over what little jewelry Carol had. She was going to have to dig something out of her jewelry box. Carol seriously needed more options. "So, which dress?" Beth tried on Carol's rings.
"I like the slip dress," Maggie commented, sitting on the desk. "It's sexier."
"It's slutty," Beth shot back. "I like the longer one with the eyelet."
"So helpful." Carol rubbed lotion over her arm.
"We agree on the shoes," Maggie reminded her.
"Okay, I'll just wear the shoes to the restaurant then."
"I'm sure he'd appreciate it." Beth smirked.
Annette shook her head. "What's wrong with the slip, Beth?"
"It's so slutty."
"They're not going to a business meetin'," Maggie argued. "It's not slutty. It's classy and sexy. Besides, he already knows what's underneath."
Beth giggled.
"I remember when I could walk by and only hear you talk about proms and metaphysics." Annette sat down in the chair by Maggie. "I miss those days."
"If I wear the slip, I'd need a shawl."
"I have a shawl you could borrow," Annette offered.
"Really?" Carol turned. "'Cause I kinda want to wear the slip."
"Then why go out? You could order pizza and save money," Beth muttered.
"I'll wear the other one next time, all right?"
"Or you could just give it to me."
"You have a date?" Maggie jumped off the desk and leaned over the bed to see her face. "You have a date! With who?"
Beth blushed. "Nobody you know."
"Tell us." Carol sat on the bed. "I told you about me and Daryl and the car. I told you about everything, actually."
"I'm going to pretend you mean fixing it." Annette turned to her youngest. "Is it him?"
Beth nodded.
"You know?" Maggie and Carol exclaimed.
"Of course I know. What else do I have to do around here?"
"Who is he?" Maggie pressed. "Is he that doctor?"
"A doctor?" Carol looked at Beth. "If so, impressive."
She sighed. "Yes, he's a doctor, but not the one you're thinkin' of. His name is Zach...Cole."
"Dr. Zach Cole." Maggie was grinning. "Mrs. Dr. Zach Cole. I bet it's on one of her notebooks."
"Shut up!" Beth blushed.
Carol laughed. "You can have the dress for Dr. Cole."
"Thank you. I gotta get ready." She took the dress. "Good luck on your date." She left the room.
"I'm gonna go harass her for details." Maggie scurried out of the room and into Beth's.
Carol put all of her jewelry back and met her mom's eyes. "Daryl wants me to move in with him."
"That would explain why you stared off into the distance for thirty minutes when you came home." She rested her hands in her lap. "Well, do you want to move in with him?"
"Of course I do. I love waking up to him and falling asleep beside him, and Sophia's gotten really attached to him. She calls him daddy and tells him just about everything, but... I don't know."
"What is it?"
She shrugged a shoulder, dropping her eyes.
"You wouldn't have brought it up, if you didn't want to talk. What's your worry, pretty girl?"
"That it'll fall apart again." She studied the pattern on her bed to keep the tears back. "I can't hurt him or lose him again, Mom. I love him so much, but is that enough? After all I did to him..."
"Carol, stop living in the past." She moved beside her. "Daryl isn't that man anymore. You aren't that woman anymore. You've both grown up, and if Daryl wants you to live with him, it's because he loves you so much, and he can't lose you again either."
"How can he trust me so much?"
"Because you love Sophia, and knowing Sophia loves him so much gives him faith that you won't bail. I'm sure part of him is just waiting for you to sneak out, but he isn't letting it rule his life. You should follow his lead, pretty girl."
She lifted her eyes, nodding. "I should get dressed."
"I'll go dig out that shawl. Meet me when you're ready." She wiped under Carol's eyes then kissed her temple and left her to dress.
Sucking in a deep breath, Carol hopped up and went to the bathroom to put makeup on. She wanted to look good tonight, so she had Beth do her hair and she had Maggie pick out her makeup. Shawn came in and drew faces on her on her mirror then took Sophia over to his place since he was babysitting tonight. She had wondered why Beth wasn't the first to offer. She had a date, and Maggie was patrolling; Daddy and Mom were going out with Patricia and Otis. Hopefully, everyone had a good time tonight.
Carol felt very exposed in the lace slip dress, but it made her look like she had actual curves, and it made her breasts look good. Daryl would appreciate that. She used a pin to push her bangs back, and she noticed how fast her hair was growing. She missed long hair, but it was a pain sometimes. Maybe shoulder-length was the best. She'd wait and see how she felt about it long.
She hurried to her mom's room, not wanting her dad to see her dressed like this. She was grown woman, but he lectured so much. "I'm ready." She saw a white box on the bed. "I remember this."
"I thought you would." She moved tissue paper aside.
"Dad bought you this for Christmas when I was ten." She set a hand on the soft material. "You only wore it on special occasions, like those company parties."
"I no longer have need of this." She pulled it out of the box and around Carol's shoulders. "It's yours now."
"I can't take this."
"You can't take what's been given to you." She smiled. "You look beautiful." She turned Carol to let her see herself in the mirror. It was the first time Carol had seen how much she looked like her mother. It brought tears to her eyes.
She turned and hugged her mom. "I love it. It's beautiful."
"Carol," Hershel called. "Beth."
"Go and enjoy yourself tonight." She released her.
"I will. I'll take care of this." She turned and left the room. "Ready, Mag?" Since she was going home with Daryl, Maggie was going to drop Carol off at the restaurant.
"Yeah." She pointed to the door. "It's Dr. Cole."
She peered out the door and saw him. He was adorable. He was definitely the type of guy Beth was attracted to. "He'll probably make more than we'll see in a lifetime."
"Probably."
Beth glided down the steps, and Maggie had to double-take her. She wore Carol's dress, yes, but she'd done her hair in a way that made Maggie's eyes burn. She looked so like their mother. "What? Is this too much?"
"No. No, you look great." Maggie hugged her. "I can't let you leave the house."
She laughed. "Maggie, come on."
She released her. "If he moves too fast, I put pepper spray in your clutch. You too, Carol."
"What?" Carol looked in her clutch, and it was there.
"And a switchblade."
"Mag!" Beth groaned.
"What? You never know."
"I have a date that I'm not going to kill. Excuse me." She walked out.
"Let's go." Maggie turned to Carol.
"What, no stun gun?"
"Try me next week."
––
Daryl got into his truck and started it, taking a deep breath before pulling out. He wanted tonight to go well. He hadn't really been out with Carol since they were kids. They only went to movies and sometimes to get pizza and crap, but other than that, they hung out at her place. He wanted to show her he wasn't rushing because of their past relationship. He wanted her to move in, because he loved having her and Sophia around all the time. He wanted to keep an eye on her too, just in case Ed did come looking.
He drove to the restaurant, parking as nearby as possible, and he stuffed the keys into his pocket, heading to the restaurant. The parking lot was a distance away from the restaurant, and it gave his nerves time to go wild. He feared Carol might not want to have a serious relationship with him. She loved him, yes, but she loved him before she left too. What if she was just with him because it was convenient? Because she knew he was still in love with her after all this time? What if she just didn't want to be alone, didn't want to raise Sophia alone, so she just...turned to him?
Shaking his head, he stopped, pinching the bridge of his nose. No, that wasn't Carol. It wasn't. He knew what she felt when he held her and she looked into his eyes.
"Hey, pretty boy."
He looked over as a baseball bat slammed into his knees, he fell over, and a man dragged him into the alley. He couldn't fight back against them, they were too many, and they jumped him, kicking and punching and bashing the baseball bat into him.
"Show him," Andrew shouted. "No one fucks with Tomas. He'll get out one day, but you won't."
Daryl cried out as they broke his arm.
"That's it! Ha ha!" He slammed his foot into Daryl's ribs. "Little pussy!"
––
At the restaurant, Carol rubbed her stomach, trying to get rid of the unease feeling settling there, and she took another drink of water. She was early, so she wasn't scared Daryl was going to stand her up. She just was nervous. This was their first date in years. Making love before the date was...not how she wanted this to go, but she didn't regret it. Even after all this time, being with Daryl meant so much. She had no doubt that God had made him for her, and she was thankful for that every day.
"Do you feel better?" Tara Chalmers, Carol's server, asked.
"A little."
"I'll get you some more water."
"Thank you." Carol shifted. "How have you been?"
"Up to my neck in bills." She moved hair out of her face. "College fees are not my friend."
"Do you know what you want to be yet?"
"A detective one day."
"Maggie wants to be a detective too. She's just a rookie right now, though."
"Oh? I hope we're not partners. She's great, but she reminds me of my sister. I would have to take a bullet for her."
"Alyssa wouldn't approve."
"She'd probably find me in the afterlife and command me back to life." Carol laughed. "Speaking of commands, my boss is commanding me to go tend to my other tables with that scold of his. Let me know if you feel worse, okay?"
"I will. Thanks." She took a drink, still not feeling all that great. She wondered why. She hadn't eaten anything too heavy, so what the heck? Her stomach was kicking her ass right now. Maybe it was her nerves. God, please no rashes. That's the last thing she needed right now.
––
"So, why'd you decide to become a nurse?" Zach asked, taking a drink of wine. "You said I could ask on our anniversary, so I'm asking."
"I'm really good with people," she admitted, "and I love them too, so I want to help them and protect them. It just came to me."
"That's honest."
"Why'd you want to become a doctor?" She ate a piece of chicken.
"Great pay."
She pursed her lips. "Really?"
"My dad was uh, killed in a shooting," he explained. "The doctor couldn't save him in time, 'cause there were so many injured people. Maybe if they had one more doctor there, my dad would still here. So I changed my major and became that one more doctor."
"Oh."
"That's my sad story." He set his glass down. "What's yours?"
"What makes you think I have one?"
"Everyone has one."
She set her fork and knife down. "I will never have children of my own."
"Ah."
"That was the worst news I've ever received." She smiled sadly, taking a drink of wine.
A beat.
He looked over her beautifully sad face then cleared his throat. "Well, hey, I know a woman who was told she couldn't have kids, and she's having her third next month."
She didn't let herself have hope. "Who is this woman?"
"Uhhhh, Bertha? Beula?" He thought back. "No, Julie. Julie Waters."
She giggled. "How did you mix up Julia with Bertha?"
"Hey, I see a lot of people on a daily basis, and it might have been Bertha." He snickered.
She grasped her earring. "What about your mother? How is she?"
"Very demanding, but I'm all she has so I understand why."
"Demanding how?"
"She wants grandchildren." He shrugged. "Have you ever seen The Help?"
"Once, yeah."
"You know how Skeeter's mom wants her to get married and have kids?" She nodded. "That's my mom. Only I don't get chased around the house with her saying my eggs are dying."
"She sounds sweet. Crazy, but sweet."
"Definitely. She thinks because she had me at twenty-five, I should have a child last year. Twenty-six is too old for kids in her eyes."
She took a drink of wine.
He reached and grasped her hand. "Let's be that corny movie couple. C'mon." He pulled her to her feet and toward the other slow dancing couples, and she smiled as he put his arm around her. She wrapped her arm around his neck, the soft piano music making it all so much more intimate, and she rested her head on his shoulder.
They danced through two beautiful songs, Beth felt safe and warm, and she looked at his face from where her head rested on his strong shoulder. He was so kind, so handsome, but she didn't want to put him in a relationship where it might only be the two of them. Especially now that she knew his mother wanted grandchildren. She'd met his mom sometime ago, and she told Beth that she was lovely and very polite. She wondered if her opinion would change if she knew Beth was the reason her son might not be give her biological grandchildren.
They returned to the table, and he noticed her mood had shifted.
"Are you all right?"
"I'm tired." She shook her head. "It's nothing."
"We could go back to my place," he suggested. "My couch is great for naps. I've tested that many times."
She laughed. "It's our anniversary."
"And yet no one knows about us." He smirked though. "You like your secrets, don't you?"
"I just wanted somethin' that's all mine." She laced her fingers through his. "Everything in my family is shared, but...I wanted you all to myself."
"Past tense?"
"They know about you now." She lifted her eyes to his. "At least that we're datin' anyway, so in a few months if we're still together, Mag will be stalkin' you."
"I'll have to remember to hide my other women," he mused.
She shifted uncomfortably, and he could see she didn't want to sense the sarcasm, so he leaned over and kissed her. "What was that for?"
"It was because I love you, Beth Greene."
She blushed.
"I'm glad you almost hit me with your car a year ago today."
She rolled her eyes. "You're never gonna let that go."
"No."
She smiled. "I love you too."
– – –
Carol looked at her watch, seeing Daryl was now forty-five minutes late. She had drank enough water to fill a pond, and she'd gone to the bathroom twice as much. She wasn't hungry anymore, so she just decided to call Maggie and leave.
"Are you close?" She tugged the shawl up again.
"Yeah."
"I'll wait by the creepy alley."
"In that dress, Carol?"
"I'm just kidding. I'll wait by the shop beside it."
"Give me ten minutes."
"Why did he stand me up?" Carol whispered. "I don't understand."
"Maybe somethin' came up. Like Merle or somethin'."
"Well—" she cut off, seeing someone in the alley beside her.
"Carol?"
"There's someone coming at me." She turned away, using her shoulder to keep the phone to her ear, and she dug out the switchblade. "I'm leaving my phone on, hold on."
"Carol? Carol!"
She set the phone down in her purse as the man grabbed her arm. She elbowed him in the chest and stabbed him the leg, only doing so because the man was one of Tomas' assholes. She ran into the alley, seeing a way through, but her heel broke. "Ow." She clenched her jaw, reaching down and gripping her ankle. She saw the man was gone, and she pulled her phone out. "Maggie? Come faster. I—Oh, my God."
"What? What?!"
"No, no, no. NO!" She crawled over to where Daryl was, bloody and not moving. "Oh, my God!" She hung up on Maggie and called 911. "Daryl? Baby, please, don't do this! Don't do this!" She checked for a pulse, hearing the woman on the other line speaking.
––
Beth and Shawn ran into the emergency room, seeing Maggie talking to the nurses, and they saw Carol standing there in the middle of the room with blood all over her legs and arms, even on her cheek. Her eyes were dead, and she wasn't responding to any of them.
"Carol?" Shawn shook her hard. "Carol!"
"Shawn, don't!" Beth pushed him. "Just stop!"
He rubbed his jaw. "What happened?"
"I don't know." Maggie set Carol down, draping her jacket over her shoulders. "She won't speak."
"Can we see him?" Beth asked, referring to Daryl.
"No." She sat down by Carol.
Soon, Annette and Hershel arrived, but Shawn told Sasha to stay there and not to bring Sophia. He didn't want her to see Carol like this. None of them wanted to see Carol like this.
"Let's get you home and changed, okay?" Annette took Carol's hands. "C'mon."
She didn't budge.
"We've tried everything." Shawn passed out crappy coffee. "She won't move."
"Is it some catatonic state?" Maggie asked Beth.
Dr. Stookey came over to them, watching Shawn closely, but Shawn kept his hands on his coffee. He explained Daryl's condition to them. "His right arm was broken in the assault, and his ribs are bruised. He has a hairline fracture to his skull as well, but his vitals are stable and strong."
"Thank goodness." Annette set a hand over her heart.
"Is he conscious yet?" Shawn inquired.
"Mr. Dixon has had a major contusion to his head. However, his brain activity is normal, and he has no cerebral swelling. He'll wake when he's ready. Just give him time."
Carol stood up while they were listening to Bob talk, and she slipped through the doors. Her feet touched the cold hospital floor as she walked, searching but not finding. She wasn't stopped by any of the staff or orderlies. She kept walking, bloody and silent, to find his room. She knew she would find him.
Lilly glanced up from her chart then shot up at the sight of Carol walking through the hall, bloody and barefoot. She set the chart down and caught up to her, grasping her wrist and leading her to Daryl's room without saying a word. She opened the door, and Carol stared.
He was lying in the bed, the bruising had set in, and he was all purple and black and yellow. His arm was in a cast, and he was so motionless it made her body tremble. Lilly watched as Carol's emotionless face slowly shifted into one of agony and relief. Lilly put her arms around Carol, comforting her, and she gasped in breaths, sobbing.
He was broken and bruised, but he was alive. He was alive.
––
You are my avalanche, one world away
My make believing, while I was wide awake
Carol had fit herself between his side and the rail that was upraised on the bed, watching him as he slept. Sometimes, for a second, she could pretend they were in his room, just resting and enjoying each others company, but she would hear the beeping and know it was a lie.
Annette gazed at Carol and Daryl, worried about them.
Hershel set his hands on his wife's arms gently, and he kissed the back of her head. "Rick's gathering the data from the cameras nearby the alley."
She nodded. "How are they?"
"Sleeping in the chairs in the lobby."
"I'll call Sasha in an hour and tell her to keep Sophia awhile longer." She set her hands over Hershel's on her arms. "Perhaps I can talk Carol into going home and bathing."
Just a trick of light to be bring me around again
Those wild eyes
A psychedelic silhouette
"Any luck?" Shawn stopped beside Maggie.
"No. She wouldn't even look at me." She shrugged her shoulders. "It's been two days. She needs to eat and bathe. This isn't good for her."
"I'll try."
"Good luck."
He rubbed Maggie's shoulder. "Go home too. You're exhausted."
"She stays, I stay."
"That's how it goes." Beth was still there, looking like a messy million bucks. "These heels are a bitch by the way."
Maggie sniggered for the first time since they arrived. "Sorry." She covered her hand with her mouth.
"No, laugh. We need some of it." Shawn walked into the room. "Hey, kid."
She didn't move.
"I got news." He set his hand on her arm. "Come home with me, and we'll talk over breakfast."
She didn't look at him.
"I'll make crullers. You know you love my crullers."
Nothing, but he thought he heard her stomach growl.
"Look, sis, Sophia's scared. Although, it's been two days of Sasha's cooking, that will scare anybody."
Not even a ghost of a smile.
He looked over at Maggie and Beth, they were frowning, and he tried one last time, bending down and resting his chin on her elbow. "Please, kid, talk to me. You're scaring the shit out of me. I need my sensible, know-it-all kid sister back. Please talk to me."
She set her hand over his and squeezed it, but didn't say anything.
I never meant to fall for you but
I was buried underneath it all and all that I could see was white
"Yeah, bring her by today."
"Are you sure?" Sasha wasn't rushing to say no, but after having Sophia for four days, she wasn't sure it was a good idea.
"Yeah, she's doing better. She snuck out on us and showered and changed. I think she ate, but I dunno. I hope she did."
"I'll bring her by when she's out of school."
"Sounds good. I'll see you then. I love you."
"I love you too."
He hung up and joined his mom. "Sasha's bringing Sophia by after school."
"Good. She should know what's going on." She played with her necklace.
"Well, I've got Carol, you should go home and rest."
"Pah! I've spend the past three years resting."
"Then I won't feel guilty by sitting down."
"How's Sasha?"
"She sounds tired. I guess Sophia isn't sleeping, and Sasha's killing herself to try and make her feel better. That's how she is. I love and hate her for it."
She nodded. "I can't believe you're going to be a father."
"I knew this talk was coming. We're alone, staring at my little sister and her ex-husband/current boyfriend. All we need now is a woman screaming in labor..."
"When was the last time you slept?"
"Four days ago?"
She shook her head.
You are the snowstorm, I'm purified
The darkest fairytale in the dead of light
"We need to talk." Annette sat down beside Shawn.
He met her eyes. "What about?"
"Our relationship, and I would very much appreciate you acting your age. No sarcasm, please."
He nodded. "All right."
"When you came to me eight years ago, telling me you wanted to be a photographer, I know my reaction wasn't...what you expected."
"That's putting it lightly."
"I just expected you to become—"
"Dad?" he finished.
"I don't know. Perhaps."
"I know I tried to become him after he died—the clothes, the attitude, the hair, which was the biggest mistake of my life." They both laughed at the memory. "But I realized I wasn't him, and I wasn't holding onto his memory; I was smothering it." He paused before starting again, "Photography is my calling, no matter what you say, Mom. When I take pictures, I feel like I'm capturing moments, you know? A smile, a touch, a whispered conversation. You can't hear the words or feel the touch, but you can see it."
She looked over his face.
"You may not remember it, but you'll know that this one person or those five people in the picture were happy once. They were laughing, maybe crying, maybe even pissed off, but they were living life. That's why I take pictures all the time. I take them of you, of Hershel, of my sisters, of my niece, of my wife, because I know one day you all might not be here, and I don't want to drown in sadness, not like with Dad. I want to see you all as happy, as stunned, as angry, as laughing—all of those things."
She'd never seen him like his before; he was so serious, so...mature, so passionate.
"I wake up in the morning, and I look over at Sasha sleeping, and I'll try to sneak a picture, but she'll put her hand over the lens. She'll tell me she's not going anywhere, and that she would have to kill me if that picture ever got out. She's the one I haven't capture just yet, but I'm glad I'll get to spend the rest of my life trying."
"I know I never said enough when you were growing up, but I am so proud of you, Shawn. I always have been. I hope you know that."
"I do." He smiled, taking her hand and squeezing it. "I always have."
"I love you, monkey." She hugged him.
"Oh, God, not the nickname. Don't use the nickname!"
She laughed.
Let the band play out as I'm making my way home again
Glorious we transcend
Into a psychedelic silhouette
"Grandma!" Sophia waved, holding Sasha's hand. "Uncle Shawn!"
Shawn stood up and walked over to them, kissing Sasha then picking Sophia up. "What's up, munchkin?"
She smiled a little. "The sky?"
"Hey." Sasha smiled at Annette.
Annette returned it.
"That's my niece." He walked over to the room. "We gotta talk, munchkin."
Shawn told her about Daryl's condition, and he wasn't surprised at well she took it. She just wanted to go and see her parents, so he opened the door and let her go inside.
I never meant to fall for you but
I was buried underneath it all and all that I could see was white
"Mommy?"
She sat up. "Sophia." She slipped off the bed. "Baby, what are you doing here?"
"I missed you."
"I missed you too." She hugged her tightly. "Did they tell about Daddy's condition?"
She nodded.
"He's been sleeping for the past four or five days." She'd lost track of time. "He'll wake up when he's ready." So they say.
"Does he know we're here?"
"I think so."
She nodded.
"Do you want to talk to him?" She pulled a chair to his bed.
"Yes."
She lifted Sophia up onto her lap. "Go ahead. He's listening." She laced her fingers through Daryl's hand, keeping an arm around Sophia's waist. She propped her chin lightly on Sophia's shoulder as she began to tell him about school and all that she'd learned, and then about her time with Aunt Sasha, and Carol rubbed her belly with her thumb comfortingly.
My salvation, my my
My salvation, my my
"I think she'll do fine without us lingering." Annette pulled her jacket on.
"If Sophia can't get her back, we're screwed." Beth tightened her ponytail.
"I'm beat." Shawn yawned. "I'll see you all...whenever Daryl wakes up."
"I'm sure it'll be soon." Sasha interlaced their fingers.
"If he wakes up soon, we're all have breakfast at our place," Beth told them "I'll making everyone's favorites, and we'll just pig out."
"Food," Shawn moaned. "When was the last time I ate?"
"If we try and backtrack, we'll be here all right." Beth looped her arm through her mom's. "Night guys."
"Good night." Sasha waved.
"Seriously, when did I eat last? Or sleep last? I feel so tired, but there's a need to devour an entire cow too."
"I'll make you something to eat."
"Speaking of your cooking, if Carol says anything—I don't know—weird about it, it wasn't me."
"Excuse me?"
"I was making a joke to rouse her. It didn't work. Besides, it's Maggie who can't cook. She makes UFOs."
"UFOs?"
"Unidentifiable food objects."
She laughed.
He put his arm around her and kissed her forehead. "Let's go."
"So..."monkey"?"
He groaned. "Yeah, from the time I was two until I was three, I wore a monkey custom everywhere. I don't even remember why; I just remember carrying a banana in my tail didn't work very well."
She busted out laughing.
"Thank you, that laughter warms my heart. No, no, that would be my face, and it's on fire." He buried his face in the crook of her neck as they walked to their car.
"That's adorable. I have to look at your albums again."
"Why does the world never swallow you whole you want it to?"
She smiled. "Let's go." She paused. "Monkey."
My salvation, my my
My salvation, my my
Carol pulled her hair up, stepping out of the bathroom, and she saw Sophia had fallen asleep in the chair. She covered her up with Maggie's jacket then sat down on Daryl's bed by his feet, pulling her legs up, minding his arm, and she looked him over.
His face was still a bruise, but he was doing better. She knew he would wake up soon. She hoped, anyway. Bob just told her he would wake when he was ready, not before. She hated waiting. She wanted him to wake up right now and talk to her. She didn't even care what about he talked about; she just wanted to hear his voice. She hadn't missed his voice this much since she ran away.
She carefully crawled to lie beside him, and she rested her head on his shoulder, placing the gentlest of kisses there. "I know you can't be rushed," she slowly whispered, "and I hate to rush you, but please come back to me. Come back to us. We miss you so much. We love you so much." She gripped his hand tightly. "I love you so much."
Using her free hand, she ran her fingers through his hair, gingerly moving his bangs from his face. "I want to move in with you." She kissed his cheek. "I'm sorry for leaving. I'm sorry about everything. I did that hurt you... I want to be with you for the rest of my life, so please wake up, Daryl."
My salvation, my my
My salvation, my my