All You Leave Behind

by Lynnth2014

Carol's on the run from a mistake in her recent past, but the only place she can go has the man she ran from originally. She had to find somewhere safe for her daughter, and that meant going home, back to her friends and family, back where they would find happiness. But with light, there is always dark, and he was Carol's. He would find them, it was only a matter of time.

28. When You're Gone

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

––

Annette threw away the last paper plate and wiped her hands a dishrag, checking in on Carol, who had passed out on the bathroom floor. She had Daryl hosing off the lawn while Shawn put away the many, many casseroles in a way that they all fit and none of the food would be wasted. She suddenly felt her wedding band scratch against the cloth.

She exhaled softly and set the cloth on Carol's dresser then went over to her, rolling her gently onto her back. "Carol?" She shook her gently. "Pretty girl?"

She was out.

"All right." She hoped she wasn't too old for this, and she hoped Carol was as light as she appeared. She lifted Carol's shoulders up, slipping her hand underneath her legs behind her knees, and she picked her up, a little worried at just how light Carol was. She adjusted her and carried her to her bed, moving the covers back as best she could then she placed her daughter down on the bed, pulling the blankets over her.

"Mmm..." Carol nuzzled her face into a pillow.

"How's the kid?" Shawn peered into her room.

"She's out cold." Annette placed a kiss to Carol's temple. "I need to speak to you, Shawn."

"What about?" He'd lost his hangover and his bitter attitude with his mom when she and Carol fought. He had no idea she felt... but he hadn't really gone out of his way to see how she felt. His mistake.

"Your drinking." She shook her head. "I know you hate me—"

"No—"

"Let me speak, please." He nodded. "I know you hate me for not letting you say goodbye to your father while he was still here, still alive and—and I am sorry; but he wasn't conscious, and I didn't want your last memory of him to be so...horrific. I told him you both loved him, I assure you. And I—"

"And I love you." He hugged her. "I'm so sorry for being stupid and not realizing how hard this was on you."

"You're still not allowing to drive for a month, maybe two."

"That's all right."

"I love you, Shawn, with all of my heart. Your father loved you as well, and he was endlessly proud of you, no matter how hard he was on you." He wept softly, and she tightened her grip on him. "It's just the three of us, and we'll make it. I'll take care of us. I always will. I promise."

––

Annette found Daryl in the backyard, adjusting the hose, and she offered him a glass of iced tea. He wiped his hands on his jeans and accepted it with a small smile of thanks. She sat down in the lawn chair and motioned for him to sit down, so he did.

"You're a good friend to her." She crossed her legs. "I really am glad you were able to make it to the funeral and wake."

He didn't meet her eyes. "She thought—"

"You don't have to explain it to me, not the drink or why you two were tangled up together." She ran a hand through her hair. "I trust her with you. You take care of her, protect her, and I know it's not because you think she can't take care of herself."

He slouched a little. "What do you mean?"

"You're an intelligent young man, I think you know exactly what I'm talking about." She rested her hands in her lap. "You have feelings for Carol, strong feelings. I can tell."

He ducked his head as his face burned.

"And you could've taken advantage of her when she...offered herself to you, but you didn't." She moved hair that wind blew into her face aside. "I respect you for that and many other things, so when you decide you want to date Carol, you have my blessing."

"I do?"

"Yes." She smiled at him. "Of course."

He nodded. "And 'bout the drinkin'?"

"I can't punish you, because you're not my son, but I can have you empty out your pockets whenever you come over. Carol's going to be grounded for some time for drinking, but I do allow one friend over per week, so prepare to empty your pockets."

"All right."

"Oh yes, since you both have class together and may have group projects to work on, you can come over then as well."

"Thanks."

"And thank you for clearing the puke." She rose. "What did you give Carol to drink?"

"Uhh—"

"Mom, Dale's here," Shane called from the living room.

"I'm so sorry. Please, excuse me." She went inside and hugged him. "I was worried you wouldn't make it."

"I'm sorry I came so late." He released her. "Did you get the flowers?"

"Yes. They were lovely."

He glanced at Shawn and Daryl. "Hey."

"Howdy." Shawn waved. "We'll just be out here, drinking iced tea."

"Just iced tea?" Dale mused. "I heard."

Shawn smiled a little. "Yeah, just iced tea." He closed the door and turned to Daryl. "So, you and Carol?"

"What?"

"I heard my mom. You like my sister?" He crossed his arms. "Well, I think we need to talk."

"Christ." He suddenly wished it wasn't just iced tea.

– – –

Beth sat at the piano, looking over the sheet of music before her, and Annette wondered why she kept watching it. It wasn't as if it would crawl off. She knew Beth could read music, so she didn't know why she was just staring at it. Maybe she was trying to decide if she wanted to play it. Maybe it had some meaning to Josephine. She didn't know for sure, though.

"What are you doing, sweetheart?" Annette sat beside her.

"I'm just lookin' over this." She gestured to the music. "It's one of my mom's favorite songs. I want to play it, but...I don't know. I—I don't think I should, I mean."

"Why not? It's her...not-wake."

She shook her head a little. "It'll made Daddy sadder."

"It might, but sometimes remembering heals, even if it hurts."

"Well...then I want to play her favorite song." She stood up and hurried up the stairs.

Annette turned on the bench. "Shawn, Carol, Maggie."

Slowly, they came into the living room, Annette told them what Beth was going to do, and she asked them to let her have this, to not shut it off. Maggie nodded and sat on the couch, Carol and Shawn were curious why Beth wouldn't just play the song, and then Beth came back downstairs with a CD player. She plugged it in and skipped through songs on a once blank CD, but a long time ago Shawn had burned a few songs onto it.

The song began to play, she stood up and turned to face them. "Mom used to lip-sing to it. You remember, Maggie?"

She nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I remember. She used to...lip-sing to it when she did the dishes. It was so funny. She'd get suds everywhere."

"She actually sang it to me...a couple days ago. I... I thought maybe she'd—"

"All right, you two make me want to pass out some Prozac." Shawn started the song over and held his hand out to Beth. "Listen, baby. Ain't no mountain high, ain't no valley low, ain't no river wide enough, baby."

She smiled a little and took his hand. "If you need me call me, no matter where you are, no matter how far."

"Don't worry, baby." He grasped her other hand.

"Just call my name, I'll be there in a hurry. You don't have to worry."

"Come on." Carol hauled Maggie to her feet, arching a brow playfully. "'Cause baby, there ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no valley low enough, ain't no river wide enough to keep me from getting to you, baby."

Annette giggled at them, smiling at how ridiculously goofy they all were, and she laughed at how Carol and Shawn switched Beth and Maggie, leaving them both a little dazed. She saw Maggie almost smile as Shawn pulled on her arms, one at a time, a little faster with each pull, and she finally just laughed.

The girls all laughed as Shawn pitched his voice to sing, "If you're ever in trouble, I'll be there on the double. Just send for me. Oh, baby." He took a deep breath. "Jesus, I don't have the lungs for this."

"My love is alive, deep down in my heart," Carol took over. "Although we are miles apart."

"If you ever need a helping hand," Maggie took Beth's hand, "I'll be there on the double, just as fast I can."

"Don't you know that there ain't mountain high enough, ain't no valley enough, ain't no river wide enough to keep me from getting to you, babe." Beth smiled back at her sister.

Then the CD began to skip, Shawn tried to clean the disk, but it was deeply scratched. He put it back in and it skipped to the song, and he smirked as Celebration by Kool and The Gang began to play. "Oh, we can work with this. Beth, my beautiful but short assistant, join me."

Maggie moved hair out of her face as Shawn got Beth to smile, but she pulled away and went outside. Almost instantly Carol started to follow, but Annette called to her. She understood and giggled as Shawn and Beth started singing off-key on purpose, and she and Annette moved the coffee table before they accidentally fell and broke it.

Maggie sat outside, hearing them sing through Celebration and then Get Down On It. She knew it was better to think about happier times, but it just...was too soon. Just thinking about Ain't No Mountain High Enough made her eyes burn, and she pulled her legs in, sobbing softly.

– – –

They lowered Annette into the ground as they walked away, piles of flowering on her marble headstone, and Shawn laced his fingers through Sasha's, holding onto Beth's out of habit. She didn't mind, mostly because Zach couldn't make it. He was caught up in surgery, saving someone's life, which made her...happy. As did Sasha's full belly. Life can be taken, but it can also be created. That was beautiful.

"Where's Carol?" Shawn asked Beth, squinting at the sunlight catching his eyes.

"I don't know. She was supposed to eulogize Mom, but she...just made up some crap about me and Mag coverin' it all."

"This won't end well." Shawn sighed.

Beth saw her dad walking alone, so she released her brother's hand and went over to him.

"Are you all right?" Sasha asked her husband softly.

"Am I all right? Are you kidding?"

"I—I didn't mean to—"

"I know. I just—I've lost both of my biological parents." He blinked back tears. "They'll never see...our children, never hold them, and that's...bullshit."

She nodded. "It is, but...I'm glad you came back."

"Me too." He kissed her forehead. "I would've hated myself if I had missed her funeral."

"So...you can sing, huh?"

He chuckled. "Not as good as Mag and Beth as you heard. Mom liked Celtic Thunder and it's either the Celtic Ladies or Celtic Women, so I heard them a lot growing up. I already knew the words, so I just jumped in. Mom... Mom loved when I was spontaneous."

"She would've loved that."

"Do you mind driving?" He covered his face with his hand.

She hugged him. "I know I can't say anything to make this pain better, and all I can really tell is I love you, because that's all I am sure of."

"I—I love you too." His voice was shaky and thick.

She kissed the top of his head. "Let's get to the car. I have some tissues in my purse." She wiped at his tears.

He nodded. "Can you...like carry me? I'm pretty light."

She laughed a little, and he didn't realize how much he needed to hear her laugh. "Come on."

Daryl walked by them, holding Sophia's hand, trying to call Carol's phone, but she wasn't picking up. He was scared. He didn't know what she was going to do, and it worried him to his core. She wasn't handling this at all. Annette helped her through her father's death, but now Annette was the one who had died, and Carol wasn't letting him help her. She wasn't coping. What the hell was she doing?

––

They met at Hershel's for the wake, and still no Carol. They couldn't reach her—any of them—and Daryl was burning holes in the floor from his insistent pacing. He didn't want to stay there. He wanted to go and find her, but they needed him there for Sophia. She wouldn't let Beth comfort her. She wanted her Mom and Daddy, and Daryl was trying his best, but he was too worried about Carol.

Two hours later, Shawn tried again to get Sophia to eat. "It's cheese. You know, like milk, but you chew it. You like milk and chewing things, yeah?"

She didn't look at him.

"Yeah, that was dumb." He tossed the plate into the trash. "It's warm anyway." He sat on the floor in front of her. "I'm not gonna lie to you, munchkin. Carol may not be fine. She may not even come home. Hell, we may never see Carol again."

She began to cry again.

"Yeah, it hurts. It hurts more than anything you've ever felt, and it won't get better anytime soon." He exhaled, sniffing. "All I can tell you that I know for sure is that we are here for you, okay? Me, Beth, Mag, Sasha and Hershel. We're all here for you. You already got your dad. He's always going to be there for you."

"No, no, no, no." Beth scooped Sophia up, and this time, Sophia let her. "We just got her to feel better. Shawn, what did you say?"

Sophia began to sob big tears.

"The truth."

"What truth?"

"That we may never see Carol again."

"Why would you do that?"

"Because I'm not going to lie and say Carol's going to come in that door right now and take Sophia in her arms."

Carol walked into the house and looked around, seeing Beth holding Sophia, and she ran over to them, taking Sophia and holding her. Carol's hair was down her back now, and she didn't have any shoes on either.

"Well, damn." He climbed to his feet. "Carol."

She didn't look at him, just held Sophia. "Let's get home."

"Home?" Beth glanced at Shawn then her.

"Mmm-hmm. Home." She started to leave.

"Not so fast." Shawn blocked her exit. "Where do you think you're going?"

"I've said it, Beth's said it. Unless you need subtitles, I think you know where I'm going."

"Dude, no!" He glared. "You don't get to walk out on Mom's funeral and then come take your daughter and leave!"

"Says the man who didn't even help to plan the funeral," she spat back. "Says the man who just barely made it in time!"

"Carol, stop it." Beth tried to touch her, but she pulled back. "Y—you're scarin' Sophia."

"How would you know? She's my daughter, and I know what scares her. I'm her mother. I'm not scary to her."

"She's shakin'."

"She's crying."

"Carol." Daryl walked into the room, the relief in his voice. He'd thought he had heard her voice. He was right, but he didn't like the tension she, Beth and Shawn were giving off. "What's goin' on?"

"Carol's kidnapping Sophia." Shawn put his hands on his hips. "Not well, I might add."

"I'm not kidnapping my kid," she hissed. "Just move."

Sophia whimpered.

"Carol, you are scarin' her!" Beth shouted. "Let her go! Just calm down, get some water and talk. We can talk."

"Why are you looking at me like I'm going to hurt her?" She stepped back. "She's my daughter, and I can take care of her."

"She's my daughter too." Daryl set his hands on Sophia's sides. "Lemme take her."

"No."

"Mommy."

"I can't." She held Sophia tighter. "I can't."

"You can't what?" Maggie stepped into the room.

"I just can't."

"Whoa!" Shawn grabbed Carol's arms, Beth went for Sophia, and Daryl grabbed Carol's hips as she collapsed. They managed to catch her before she fell, Beth held Sophia close, and Daryl and Shawn propped Carol up, but she pushed them away.

"Don't touch me." She stumbled back.

"Somebody get her some water and some food." Shawn stepped toward her. "Easy."

"I'm not some mare in need of taming," she barked. "I'm fine!"

Everyone—well, the ones that weren't already watching them—turned and looked at them. Shawn didn't mind having it out with Carol right there at their mother's wake, because it happened once before when their dad died only before the funeral and wake; but Hershel and Patricia didn't want people to see them at each others throats, so they politly, but quickly showed them out.

"Daryl." Beth touched his arm. "She needs you."

"I know." His eyes were on Carol.

"No, Sophia needs you." She handed the shaking little girl to her father. "Let us handle this."

"But—"

"Trust me, she'll need you later. For now...your daughter needs you. Get her some juice or somethin'. Try and calm her down." She ran her hand over Sophia's back then went to the living room with Maggie.

"Where were you?" Hershel asked Carol.

"I—I was at the funeral with you all. Where—where else would I be?" She didn't look at them.

"You left," Maggie reminded her. "I—We all saw your empty seat! And you just left Mom's shawl there! If Sophia wouldn't have grabbed it, someone else would have it!"

"I—I—I just needed some fresh—air." She ran a hand through her hair. "It's what I nee—need now, so excuse me."

"No!" Beth shook her head. "If you can't eulogize Mom—"

"What's the big deal? So I didn't say a few words to honor Mom, you and Maggie did a great job! Seriously great. What good would my words do? Huh?" Her eyes were filled with tears. "No—no one should hear my words."

"What are you talkin' about?" Maggie crossed her arms. "You wrote a beautiful eulogy."

"We read it, like, ten times," Beth chimed in. "It was so movin'. Everybody woulda loved it."

"Then one of you should've said it. It would've been better if one of you had said it. Like you, Shawn. You have a great voice for public speaking."

"Carol, your graduation speech had that evil, soulless music teacher bawling her demonic eyes out," Shawn shot back. "That's crap. You know you could've done it well. So why—?"

"Because the person who let her die shouldn't be the same person to eulogize her!" Carol yelled.

"What?" they all exclaimed, thrown.

She began to tremble. "It's my fault."

"No, Rosy, it's not your fault." Hershel tried to touch her, but she jumped back.

"Please, don't lie. You all know it's my fault." She was crying her eyes out in front of them, refusing to let any of them touch her, and they all just watched her fall apart. "I—I should've been here earlier. I told her six a.m., but I—I came at noon. If I had been there, she might have been all right. I would've woken her up and—and she wouldn't have died. She would still—still be here with us...with me."

"Carol, her death had nothing to do with you." Shawn met her eyes. "Kid, it was a natural death."

"No, it wasn't! It—It was me. I—killed her. I left and didn't even tell any—"

"So? That didn't kill her," Maggie interrupted.

"But it put her in the hospital! She grew weak, because of the stress of my leaving. If I had written a note or—or called or something, she would have been just fine! Yes, she gradually got better, but—but she still—and I—"

"You're not handlin' it." Maggie approached her. "When I lost my mom, I didn't handle it at all. I—start shopliftin' and smokin', 'cause I couldn't handle it. And—you helped me through. You and Annette and Daddy helped me. Let us help you."

"But Mom's not here to help me," Carol whispered. "She's gone, and that's on me. I—I didn't do anything to help. I stood there! I cried! I just fell apart!"

"She was already gone." Beth kept her voice low. "There was nothin' any of us coulda done."

"I don't know that!"

"All right, you've had time to stew." Shawn walked right up to her, not caring how he literally backed her into a corner. "So have I, kid. Let me guess what's been going through your massively imaginative ginger head. You've been playing out ever possible scenario these past couple of days, yeah? If only you'd been there sooner. If only you'd come back to Georgia earlier. If only you'd left a note that day or not left at all. If only, if only." He gripped her shoulders. "There is no one to blame here. Not you, not me, not the paramedics. Death came and took our mother, not you."

She searched his eyes. "I didn't—"

"Death is neither good or bad; it just is. You can't fight it, and Mom didn't fight. She knew she'd lived a good, blessed life, and she went willingly, peacefully. That's more than anyone could ask for, kid."

"But she's gone."

"Yes, Mom's gone, but you know as well as I do that one day...you'll find you won't mind carrying the pain around with you, because all of the good times shouldn't be forgotten." He didn't hold back anymore. He couldn't. The tears, the pain, was too much, and he'd been swallowing tears for too many days. "I feel that too. That hate. She left us here. She just left before my kids—before my kids could know her and love her as much as Sophia does; she left before she had a chance to hold them and see who they look more like. She left before I could even ask how she did it all. How she was such a great parent... I'll never know how she did any of it."

She tried to get free.

"It is okay to hate Mom, Carol. I hated Dad when he died. I mean, he'd just left us. He just...was dead, and I hated him for it. Now she's left us, and I hate her for it too. You hate her for it, I know you, so be mad, be sad, hate her! Just don't lock it up and blame yourself!"

She shoved him back, stumbling and fall onto the couch. It was so much easier to hate herself. She'd been hating herself for nearly five years. She didn't want to hate her mom, because she loved her, but she was mad at her. She left them there with so many things left unfinished. They had so much more to do, so why did she leave? Why?

"How are we supposed to go on without her?" Carol cried. She'd just gotten her back, and now she's gone. That's all she could think about. Three months. She had three months, and...now nothing. "I want her back. I want her to come back!"

"Me too." He looked up from where he'd fallen on the floor. "Me too, kid."

"I didn't know! I didn't know I would have... It's not fair! It's not fair. God, why?" She pulled her legs in and sobbed deeply, her cries filling the house, and Hershel went over to her, putting an arm around her, and he held her. She dug her nails into his jacket and buried her face in his shoulder.

Beth sat beside Shawn, helping him sit up, and she offered him a sad smile then just hugged him. "Good job, Dad-to-be."

"Nope. I need my wife." He released her and went to find Sasha.

Beth blinked. "What?"

Maggie laughed a little and hugged Beth. "We'll be okay."

They always were.

––

After many, many, many tears and hugs, they all sat down in the living room that night, the fire going just to give them light—and because Annette loved fires. Shawn ran his hands through Sasha's hair as they lied on the couch, watching the fire's shadow dance on the ceiling, and he felt his kids stirring. He smiled a little, feeling tears in his eyes again, and he chuckled softly to himself, calming himself.

Carol stroked Sophia's hair as she slept on the floor, her face on one of the couch pillow's, and Carol smiled at how peaceful she looked and at how gently she breathed. She could feel Daryl watching her from over Sophia's shoulder, but she didn't care. She needed to be with Sophia right now. She needed to be with them both right now.

Maggie rested her head on Glenn's chest, glad he had come back for her. She'd missed him at the funeral, because he was in the back, and then she had to worry about Carol for those hours. She'd forgotten about him between the worry and the sorrow. She had glad he hadn't forgotten about her, because him holding her made the pain almost bearable.

Beth exhaled softly, pulling her legs up in the chair, and she saw her dad on the steps, looking over Annette's engagement ring. It was the one he had given her. Beth knew the one Ethan have given Annette was the one Annette had given to Daryl to give to Carol. She hoped Carol still had it, because she doubted Carol knew the history behind the ring. Speaking of Annette's rings...

"What do we do with all of her belongings?" Beth asked the room softly.

"I don't know," Shawn exhaled.

"Annette had a plan," Hershel softly answered. "Whatever you kids don't want, goes to charity."

"That's Mom." Carol moved a curl from Sophia's face. "Always thinking of others."

Hershel smiled a little. "That she was."

"We can clean out her close tomorrow," Maggie suggested. "She always said: leave nothing for tomorrow but the day."

"I have some leftover boxes," Beth added. "We can use them."

"Sounds like a plan." Shawn covered Sasha with the blanket.

Daryl looked at Carol, and her eyes moved to his. "You all right? From before I mean."

"I'm a little lost," she admitted. "I miss her so much, and I'll always miss her, but I can't fight death. I have to accept it, mourn and one day...move on. I know it won't be that easy, but I have you and our daughter and my—our family." She leaned over and kissed him. "Thank you for not treating me like I'm crazy."

"I get it."

"I know you do." She smiled. "I love you, Daryl Dixon."

He half-smiled back at her. "I love you, Carol Greene."

"And I love you you both too, now shut up before you make me yak," Shawn said.

"I love you, Beth," Maggie called to annoy Shawn. "I love you, Daddy."

"I love you, Carol," Beth teased. "I love you, Shawn and Sophia and Daddy."

"I love you, Maggie," Carol added. "And I love you, Daddy and Glenn."

"I love all of you," Hershel tossed in, but he meant it. "Even Glenn."

"Yay, thanks, Hershel." Glenn smiled.

"I hate all of you." Shawn glared.

They laughed a little.

"I love Grandma," Sophia murmured sleepily, opening her eyes a little. "I love Grandma a lot."

"Okay, now that I love." Shawn smiled. "You win cuteness too, munchkin."

Carol snugged closer to Sophia. "Grandma loved you too." She kissed her forehead. "Good night, baby girl."

Daryl tugged the blanket over them and shifted closer, taking Carol's hand. "Good night."

"Good night."

"Yes, yes, good night everyone."

––

There are no words to describe a woman like Annette Grace Ogle. She was a woman who would put herself between a stranger and a bullet, because for all she knew that stranger had a child, surely had loved ones, and she wouldn't see them torn away from them. She knew God would see her through everything, and He had. He always had.

Annette was a woman who would give you the clothes off her back if that meant keeping you warm, and if she had the money, she would empty her wallet for you. She just was so giving. She loved to make people happy, and like her son, did anything to make them smile when they were sad. She would offer a million reasons to smile. No, really. She would sit there and name them off, one by one until you smiled at how crazy she was for seriously coming up with reasons to be happy.

She loved and was loved deeply. She will never be forgotten, because we'll be here to remind each other of her. We have our pictures and our memories, and even though one day those may perish, we know one way or another, we will see her again. We will smile with her again. Until that day comes, we have her in our hearts and our thoughts, forever showing us and reminding us of what it means to be human.

– – –

Moving around and remembering Mom by the clothes in her closet felt really good. They were able to laugh and reflect and cry a little bit. It was nice. Beth took most of her blouses since they were the same size, and she wanted to look more mature, less like a child. Her wardrobe was so childish, it was time for a change.

"Oh, my God." Shawn let out a small breath of shock.

"What?" Maggie taped the box closed and set it on the floor.

"This." He held up a wooden, homemade honey stirer thing. "We—we made these at school, remember?"

"Oh, my goodness." Beth smiled. "I completely forgot about these."

"Did she keep them all?" Maggie crouched down beside Beth. "I made these in that metal workshop."

"I made this in that clay class." Beth picked up the small heart box with a Celtic knot on the lid. "Aw."

Carol folded her mom's jeans and set them in the box, disinterested in the box of sentimental items.

"Hey, kid, look." Shawn helped up the bandana Carol had made. It was crummy and held paw prints and leaves and rose buds. It wasn't that great. "Carol?"

"I saw it." She closed the drawer and went to the next one. "It's cute, give it to Sophia."

He frowned. "A—all right, I will."

"I want to keep these." Maggie slid on the metal band all the way to her upper arm. "Heh. Wow, it still fits."

"With your muscles, I'm shocked too." He pulled out the other bandanas, glancing at Carol as she folded and put clothes into boxes. He could see her pulling away, and there wasn't anything he could do about it. If he asked her about it, she would be gone again. If he didn't, she might just come back. He had to hope and leave it to God. They were all still in pain, and everyone mourned differently. He hoped this was Carol mourning, and not Carol about to run away again.

"I brought pineapple upsidedown cake," Amy called into the house. "And Dale."

"Great, more food." Shawn sighed and padded down the stairs. "Hey."

"Hey." She hugged him with her free arm and presented him with a candle. "I know food is the last thing you need, so here is a candle that smells yummy."

"Thanks." He smiled. "Really."

"God." She hugged him again. "You're going to make me cry again."

"Excuse me." Carol pushed by them, nearly knocking Amy to the ground, and she set the box on the floor. "Hi, Dale."

"Wait, I want to speak to you. And to Shawn privately."

She paused in going back upstairs. "I'll put on come coffee."

"Don't. He's had enough." Amy gestured to his shaky hands. "I'll help Mag and Beth pack up."

Carol sat away from Shawn on the couch, crossing her legs and looking Dale in the eye; Shawn glanced at Carol, but didn't say anything. He gave his full attention to Dale, and Dale stood in front of them.

"You both have known me all your lives," he began.

"As Dad's best friend, of course." Carol's voice was business-like, very empty as well.

"And ours too," Shawn added, sending a glare to Carol.

"Well, there's more to our history than friendship." He cleared his throat. "Ethan made me promise—swear—vow not to tell you both unless it was absolutely necessary that you know, and Annette begged me to tell you if she died."

Carol rested her hands in her lap. "Tell us what?"

"Ethan Wellington Harrison never existed."

"What?" Shawn scoffed.

"His birth name was—is Ethan Wellington Horvath."

Silence.

Dale watched the gears turn in their eyes and heads then explained, "Ethan is my younger brother. He was born last and me second and Allen first. When he was on a trip, he met Annette and fell in love with her. Our parents didn't want him to marry her, because they thought he was too young to really understand love, so...he left. He changed his name as a way to hide from them and married Annette. When our parents died, I found him to tell him and give—and let him know he was still loved and wanted. He didn't want to be a Horvath, said it wasn't who he was and it wasn't who his children were."

Shawn stared. "D—Dad's your—and so you're—What?" He rubbed his temple. "Oh, my brain hurts."

"When you were four, our parents died, so Carol was about one." He sat down. "He didn't want you two to grow up around our family, because he felt they wouldn't accept you. He was wrong, but I didn't want to lose him a second time, so I kept his secret. I've helped your mother out as much as she would allow, and you both as well."

Carol shook her head. "Dad would've told us—" she cut off. "Wait. My car. When my car was in the shop, and—and I had to pay a thousand dollars, but someone had paid it for me. That—that was you?"

He nodded. "Yes."

"My surgery." Shawn scoffed. "Jesus, now it makes sense."

"What surgery?" Carol asked.

"Uh, well I didn't want to anybody this, because only Mom knew, but a couple years ago, I went out of the states for a community service. Building houses and such. Anyway, I contracted a bacterial infection, and it was killing me. I needed a kidney." He hated to see Carol look as she did, which is why he didn't tell her or Mag or Beth.

"What?" Carol's voice was breathy, and tears burned in her eyes.

"Sasha was a wreck, Mom was a mess, and I was trying to come to terms with my death, because one, we didn't have a donor that matched, and two...I was too far down on the list. It tore Mom up that she couldn't give me one of hers, and Sasha just kept telling me it'd all work out. I prayed every morning and every night, and then one day I got a call, and there was a donor and a room with my name on it." He shook his head, exhaling slowly. "That was you, wasn't it?"

He nodded. "Me and Andrea."

"She knew?" Carol exclaimed.

"No, no, no. She just knew someone needed a kidney, and she was the only one who matched. Amy might have, but I wasn't going to put her through that. Paige was just a baby then, and I couldn't do that to her."

Shawn ran a hand down his jaw. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me."

"No, I will." He met Dale's eyes. "Because of you, I'm alive and—and well. I'm married and my wife is going to have my twins in a couple months, because of you." He stood up and gave Dale a hug.

Dale chuckled. "You're making me tear up in front of my niece." He released him. "You jackass."

Shawn laughed a little. "That's my job." He sniffed. "Uncle Dale. Wow, that's just weird."

"Great, Mom's dead, and we have an uncle. Fantastic." Carol stood up. "If you'll excuse me, I don't care."

"Carol—"

"No!" she shouted at her brother. "No!"

"Carol, I've always been family, whether or not you knew it was blood," Dale reminded her.

"What good does this do me?" Carol shrugged. "You are a great guy, don't get me wrong, but you're—you're not Mom. I don't need this right now. I liked my parents just being my parents, not people who kept secrets!" She turned and left the house.

"Carol, wait." Shawn ran after her. "Carol!"

"What?" She spun around. "Yes, Mom is buried and dead, as is Dad, but that does not mean I am okay with that or with him!"

"Talk to me."

"I've done enough talk." She searched his eyes. "I'm done talking."

"Done talking or done talking to us?"

"Both."

"It doesn't work that way. Sophia needs us, loves us, and you cannot cut us out of her life!"

"I won't. Our new cousin Amy can bring her over or Daryl. Or hell, Andrea can! All I know is we—you and me and Mag and Beth—need to be apart for now. I can't be here!"

"So, you're just gonna run? Is that it?"

"No, Shawn, I'm walking." She backed up. "Witness me walking away."

"Carol." He clenched his jaw as she turned and walked to her. "Damn it, Carol!"

She waved over her shoulder then got in her car and drove off.

"Carol!"

– – –

Amy flipped through her mail, seeing an invite to Sasha's baby shower among the bills, and she smiled. She saw Sophia and Paige outside in the pool with Andrea, and she set her bag down and the mail. She ran outside and smiled at them.

Andrea looked up from the catalog, trying to decide which stroller to give to Sasha for her surprise baby shower next month. "You got the part?"

"Yes!"

"Oh, my God!" Andrea pulled her feet out and hugged her. "That is so great! I am so proud of you!"

Paige and Sophia climbed out of the pool and gave her a nice, big wet hug, and she laughed, kissing Paige on the forehead and hugging Sophia tight. "Congratulations!"

"Thank you all!" She grinned. "I am so freaking happy right now. I'm calling Mom and Dad and Dale to let them know when the big night is."

Andrea smiled. "We could use some good news around here and some smiles."

Sophia looked down.

It'd been three weeks since they cleared out Annette's closet, Carol hadn't been around her family since she walked out, and Sophia only saw them when Amy picked her up, so that Paige could get to know Shawn too. It was still strange to learn that Ethan was their uncle, but it made sense. All the hushed conversations Amy had heard were sometimes about Ethan, and it made her feel a little better, but still kinda crappy for Ethan.

"Who wants frozen yogurt?" Amy asked. "I am Juliet, and I say frozen yogurt before dinner is a yes."

"Yay!" Paige exclaimed. "C'mon, Sophia!"

Andrea gave them their towels and they went inside. "Carol hasn't spoken to you, has she?"

"No." She crossed her arms. "Not to anyone, not even Daryl. He says she just lies in bed and stares at the walls."

"We need to talk to her tomorrow. This isn't good for her or Sophia." Andrea suddenly smiled. "Juliet?"

"Uh-huh." She grinned. "See, the guy already had the cast picked out, but Dale knew someone who was helping the director, so I was sent the tapes of the dances, which is what Shawn and I were working on." She'd explain it all to Andrea that morning, because she needed a pep talk before she went. "And he saw me today, and I could tell he thought I wouldn't impress him, but I guess I did! The other chick who was originally playing Juliet just applauded me and told me I deserved it."

"She wasn't mad?"

"No, but I overheard her and who I think was her boyfriend talking, and she had another job waiting for her."

"Wow, I am impressed and excited. What date do I mark on my calendar?"

"Uhh, the twenty-ninth of July."

"Is that enough time for you to...adjust to the new guy?"

"Yes, and he is totally awesome. His name is Felix Manning, and he's just the best guy I've ever met. Tomorrow after practice, he agreed to meet me, so we can work on the lifts and get to know each other. We'll need some trust, he says, which I agree with completely."

"Felix?"

"Yes."

"I can't wait to meet him. We should have him over for dinner."

"He's barely an acquaintance, so calm down. Besides, I'm not his type. That's actually the first thing he told me."

"How rude."

"Not really. You'll understand when you meet him."

"Mommy?" Paige hovered in the doorway. "Are you coming?"

"Yep! My sweet tooth has control over me today. Let's go!"

––

Zach rolled over in bed, but instead of finding Beth, he found a warm, empty space. He checked the time; it was one in the morning. He rolled out of bed, grabbing jeans, and he spotted a note from Beth on the table. He read over it as he went to living room. He found Beth adjusting her dress and grabbing her heel off the counter.

"You know, if you sit down, I hear it's easier to put heels on."

She whirled around. "You're supposed to be sleepin'."

"Yeah, I am...and yet here I am, standing barefoot in my living room. Why am I standing barefoot in my living room at one in the morning?"

"It's nothin', just go back to bed. I have to go."

"You do realize I can tell you're lying, right?"

She sighed. "Please, go back to bed. It's late."

"Which is why we should go back to bed." He closed the space between them. "Is this about me missing Annette's funeral? I know the flowers and fruit and muffin baskets don't make up for that, and I would've gone if I had someone to cover for me."

"No, it's not—" She sighed, covering her face with her hands, and she exhaled. "All right, let's sit."

"I'd rather stand." He eyed her. "What's going on, Beth?"

She met his eyes, crossing her arms. "I think it's time we stop seein' each other."

He nodded. "And why do you think that?"

"Because you're in love with me!"

"And how is that bad? How is that worthy of ending our relationship? I know you love me, Beth. I know you do, so why?" He searched her watery eyes. "I deserve to know why you're going to walk out on me in the middle of the night."

She inhaled softly. "You're twenty-seventh birthday is about eight months away."

"So?"

"So, you're getting older and close to the age of settlin' down and havin' kids." Her blue eyes were full of determination and sorrow. "Since my mom died, I've been thinkin' about how people died all the time and how they are born as well. How you need one so you can have the other."

"All right." He nodded. "I can understand that. What does this have to do with us?"

"Well, when we have sex, all I can think about is life. Havin' sex is partly about makin' life. I can't make life with you. All we'll have is this, just the two of us, and I can't let you live a life with me like this. I can't."

He exhaled. "That's what this is about."

"Yes." Her voice broke. "I know you say it's not important, but to me, it's the most important thing. You're an amazin' man, and you should have a wife that can give you children. I'm sorry, but this is for the best." She grabbed her purse and started for the door when his voice stopped her.

"Do I get to have a say in this at all?" It was spoken in a soft hiss.

"You aren't thinkin—"

"No, damn it!" He grabbed her arm and made her face him. "You can't have kids, and I know that's hard on you, but I don't care. I don't. I love you, and for me, that's enough."

"You say that now, but—"

"I'll say it in ten years too, Beth! Having biological children doesn't matter to me. Having you in my life does."

Her eyes burned. "But—"

"No buts." He pulled her closer. "If all I have is you in my life then that's enough. If you can't go on without a child, we'll adopted. That's perfectly fine by me."

"You're bein' stupid."

"No, I'm making a decision for myself. All of my life I've tried to make everybody happy, but I'm done with that. It's my life, and I want to spend it with you, so just shut up and stop thinking you know what I want."

"Zach—"

"All I want is you, all of the good and the bad. I also want this conversation to be over, so it's over and buried. We're not going to talk about it."

"What if I don't want to be with you? I can always chose to leave."

"Then take my heart with you. I probably have a scalpel around here, just give me a minute."

She rolled her eyes, and he smiled. "Again, you're so stupid."

"Come back to bed. It's late."

"Fine." She met his eyes. "You'll have to help me with the zipper to my dress."

"I can do that."

"We'll see." She leaned up and kissed him, wrapping her arms around his neck. She pulled back and met his eyes. "And I do love you."

"I know. I think I mentioned it."

She smiled. "You're such a dork."

"And you love this dork."

"Then let me prove it to you." She laced her fingers through his and led him back toward his bedroom.

––

"Gosh, I've made a mess of this place." Maggie gathered her clothes. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it." Glenn watched her go from room to room, gathering both his and her clothes. "Are you going home to wash those?"

"To the laundry mat." She stuffed them into a basket. "I'll be back around noon. Will you be home or should I grab my key?"

"I have to help with the bakery today, so use your key."

"Okay." She kissed him, grabbing the basket and starting for the door. "Drive safe."

"Hey, Maggie?"

"Yeah?" She turned.

"Why don't you just wash them at home? It'd be cheaper."

"I don't want to disturb my father."

He met her eyes. "You don't want to go back there, you mean."

"Glenn, don't. I know what I mean, and I don't want to disturb anybody."

"You haven't spent more than two minutes over there in three weeks. What the hell is going on? You and Beth and Carol are avoiding Hershel and the farm like a plague. What's going on? Talk to me."

"I'm not avoidin' anythin'. I'll see you later."

"Maggie!" He groaned as she walked out of his apartment. "Mag—Damn it."

––

Beth felt someone watching her as she slept, and she smiled a little, rolling over and opening her eyes. "Why are you being creepin'?"

"I just couldn't sleep." He shrugged a shoulder.

"Why not?" She rubbed her eye.

"Well, I just realized I still haven't met your family. You met my mother a few weeks ago, and I still haven't met Maggie or Carol or the men who will threaten me if I hurt you. I was looking forward to the threats."

She exhaled softly. "I just... Uh-uh."

"Don't 'uh-uh'. Tell me why."

"I just don't see 'em a lot."

"You live with them."

"They work the farm, and Shawn lives somewhere else, as does Carol." She closed her eyes. "We don't really see each other a lot." She shrugged. "Don't worry about it."

"Well, I kinda promised my mom that we'd join you guys on the fourth at the farm."

Her eyes snapped open. "What?!"

"She really wants to meet your family. I'm sorry. She loves you wants to get to know your family. I told you: she's crazy."

"Oh, my God, Zach!" She glared. "That ain't okay! We haven't even spoken to each other in three damn weeks, and now you want me to—Oh, my God!"

"How the hell was I supposed to know? I thought you all were close. Three weeks? Is that why you're always staying over?"

"I have not stayed over every night for three weeks." She paused. "Have I?"

"Yes, you have. I don't mind, but I thought you like my company."

"Nah, just your bed." She smirked, and he playfully glared. "Three weeks? Damn."

He set his hand on her hip and pulled her closer. "It's about time to get up, so do you want the shower first?"

"Why don't we just get one together?"

"Because we won't actually shower."

"Fine, I'll shower." She kissed him. "And you are gonna make coffee. I'm exhausted."

"That's what you get for trying to sneak out at one o' clock in the morning."

"That's not makin' coffee." She climbed over him, and he pinched her ass. "Hey!"

"That's not getting a shower."

"Shut up." She tossed the sheet over his face and disappeared into the bathroom. She began to brush her teeth.

He moved the sheet and exhaled, sitting up. "Hey, Beth?"

"What?" She pulled her toothbrush out of her mouth.

"Do you want to...move in with me?"

She nearly dropped her toothbrush. "What?"

"N—never mind. We'll talk about it later. I missed a call from the hospital." He grabbed his phone and robe.

She stared at her reflection. She'd never considered moving in with him. She loved him deeply, yes, but she always had planned on living on the farm. She also planned on breaking up with him, but that didn't work. To actually move in here...move away from the farm...could she do it? She'd grown up there and planned on taking care of it when her father passed, but...she knew Otis and Patricia would take care of it if she asked. She could do it easily.

She felt ill. Could she really leave the farm? She already barely saw her father and family as it was. If she left now, she might not see them at all.

––

Glenn moved pasta around on his plate, watching Maggie taking another drink of wine, and he frowned. She wasn't going to mention this morning. She was just going to pretend it didn't happen, wasn't she? He knew she needed to talk about it. He needed to talk about it too.

He loved having her there, waking up to her and going to bed with her, but this wasn't right. She was avoiding something back home, and it was hurting Hershel. He knew all of them were avoiding the farm and their father and each other, but he didn't know why. They were all so close, but now that Annette was gone, they'd drifted apart. It was like they didn't care. Or maybe they didn't notice. Maybe they thought they were in the same place as they were five weeks ago. What was going on? They weren't strangers to each other, so why where they acting like it?

They ran into Beth at the store today, and it was so uncomfortable. They laughed awkwardly and brought up the food the other had. Beth thought it was great that they were having pasta, and Maggie thought it was smart for Beth and Zach to be eating fish and salad. He tried to speak to her, ask about Hershel, but she excused herself, saying she was in a rush. She'd just cut him off in the middle of his question, and then while he and Maggie were checking out, he saw her talking to one of her friends. It was more warm than her talking to Maggie. They were curt with each other, almost cold. It disturbed him.

"Are we going to talk about this?" he finally asked.

"What?" She met his eyes. "Is your pasta not good? I followed the recipe, and it's Jacqui's too, so—"

"Not the pasta, Maggie. Beth and the grocery store."

"What do you mean? She looked fine, healthy. What's to talk about?"

"The fact that you two barely said anything to each other. It was hi, good food choice and bye. It was strained. How can you be okay with that?"

She shrugged. "She was busy, so were we."

"Did you notice the pregnancy test in her cart?"

"Beth can't have kids, Glenn. And she only had apples, lettuce and fish."

"See, if we had spoken to Beth, you wouldn't have known what was in her cart!"

She rolled her eyes. "You're bein' dramatic."

"Okay, Maggie, listen to me. You and Beth and Carol and Shawn haven't spoken in weeks. Don't lie and say you have, because that thing at the market doesn't match a definition of conversation."

She ran her tongue over her teeth. "I don't know what you're talkin' about."

He scoffed. "Fine, but when your niece and nephew are born and you only can to hear about them from Jacqui, don't come crying to me." He stood up and left the kitchen.

She dropped her fork and sighed, leaning back in the chair and shaking her head. She knew he was right, but she didn't want to admit it. There was a massive hole among them, and she doubted it would ever be filled with anything. How could they fill it? Their mother was gone, and the world just kept leading them in different directions. Maybe that's how it's supposed to be.

––

Shawn lied on the couch while Sasha and Jacqui talked in the kitchen, going over some things about some things he wasn't paying attention too, and he scrolled through the pictures on his laptop of his family. He wanted to talk to them, but his sisters had pulled away. He wanted to give them their space and just let them mourn, but it'd been almost four weeks. He missed hanging out with them, bugging the shit out of them, and he was worried this wasn't mourning.

Carol stopped going out in general, and Daryl couldn't coax her out of bed. When Shawn went over to check on her, she locked the bedroom door and ignored him. He hung out with Sophia for about two hours, and he could see Carol's distance was killing the munchkin. He called Dale and spoke to him about it, but he didn't give him any sage advice, just told him to give it time.

Beth was attached to Zach at the hip, but he could tell she was happy. He saw them walking to their car when he took Sasha to a doctor's appointment. He was getting a pop and happened to look over as they went to his car. She was smiling and laughing even, and he was glad to see it. Zach was really good for her. He wanted to get to know this Zach Cole, but he feared hell would freeze over before he got to know Zach's middle name.

Maggie was just in cop mode all the time. He never saw her, but he'd heard about her from Rick when he went to do their annual family photo. He learned she was practically living with Glenn now, and she was so by-the-book it was painful. She wasn't the same cop with endless potential anymore. She was just a cop on a mission that may get her killed. He tried to call her once, but she didn't pick. He knew she could've picked up, but chose not to. It made him sad, but what could he do? He wasn't Mom. He didn't know how to make everything all better. He wasn't going to try to be. He was their older brother, and he was failing at that. He didn't want to fail as the mom either.

He sighed and closed the laptop.

"That's not a happy sigh." Jacqui set a cup of tea in front of her daughter. "He's not doing well, is he?"

"He's mourning Annette." She lifted the teabag up. "He's...upset about his sisters."

"Ah." She took a seat. "They still haven't gone home?"

"No."

"Carol hasn't checked in on the Greene Leaf in too long. I can manage it myself, so nobody needs to worry. I've gotten a few new kids to help out as she's shut down. I hope she doesn't mind."

Shawn let out another, longer sigh, and Sasha glanced over at him.

"I'm miserable." He sat up. "Can you give birth right now so I have something to do now and later?"

"You can go to the market and buy a pot roast then I'll shove it up your ass and you can push that out." She smiled sweetly. "Then we'll do it again, 'cause twins."

"All right, but who's gonna want to eat that?"

Jacqui rolled her eyes. "Why don't you take a walk?"

"I did. I've taken many, many walks. I've lost ten pounds."

"Have you been eating?" She narrowed her eyes.

"Not as much as Sasha would like, but I do eat." He hopped up. "I snack, technically."

"Shawn!"

"What? I'm alive, aren't I?"

"You know Annette would not want you to die mourning her!"

"It's not my mom," he assured them, joining them in the kitchen. "It's my sisters. It's mostly my sisters."

"You need to talk to them. And eat."

"Fine, I'll make dinner tonight with fresh salad and veggies and protein."

"That sounds great. T and I will be here around seven. How does that sound?" Jacqui smiled.

"Uhhh...great. That's—great."

"I'll bring dessert."

"Thanks, Mom. That's really sweet." Sasha watched how Shawn dragged his feet. "Could you give us a minute?"

"I should call your father." She rose and grabbed her purse, heading out the front door.

"What's wrong?" She searched his eyes. "This isn't about your family, and you're worrying me. You should not be worrying a woman heavy with children!"

He opened his mouth then shook his head.

"Talk to me, Shawn. If you don't talk then give me a clue. One word, so I can try and figure out what the hell is bothering you."

He met her eyes. "Vivian."

"Oh." Maybe she didn't want to hear what this was about.

"She's coming by at two to talk. I don't know what about, but it's not about Nathan. I was with him all last night."

"Shawn, you were staring off into space last night."

"Was I?"

"Yes."

He sat down. "My mind's busy. Always busy. God, I'm scared, Sasha. For once, it's not about the twins, it's about my sisters and father."

"Hey, hey." She grasped his hand and laced her fingers through his. "We will get through this. One way or another, we'll get through. I know your sisters, and sooner or later, they'll try and work this out. You just have to be patient and let them heal."

"I'm trying."

"Try a little harder, okay? I have to go to the store to get dinner with my mom, because I hate Vivian. She's a bitch who listens to no one."

"Don't leave me with her, please?"

"Be strong." She smirked. "I'll be back in fifteen minutes, so don't worry."

"I'll meet her on the porch. I don't think our house can handle her vileness a third time."

"Third? She's only been here once. You pick up Nathan from the Greene Leaf."

He met her eyes. "She's the one who helped me go to the funeral."

She frowned. "What?"

"Yeah. She came to talk about Nathan, and I—I was just a drunken mess, and she got me back on track."

"So, the woman you slept with can talk into doing the right thing, but—"

"No, the woman I slept with can make me run from her and to the right thing." He kissed her hand. "It's ten till."

"Shawn, can you promise me something."

"Anything."

"Promise me you'll never, ever...name our child Wellington."

He met her eyes and gaped for a moment then let out a laugh. "O—okay, I promise."

She smiled. "Middle name, of course."

"Of course." He leaned over and kissed her. "Pick up some fresh flowers, please."

"What for?"

"I just want some flowers for the house. Brighten it up a bit, you know?"

"All right."

He walked her to the door and watched them leave then closed the door and sat down on the porch swing with a book, and he read it while he waited for Vivian to come. He didn't wonder why she was coming, just hoped she didn't ask for anything else. He would take care of his son, but he had twins on the way, and he didn't want to ask Dale for money—he didn't want to ask anybody for money. He would and could take care of his family. He always would.

"Shawn Tanner Greene." Vivian stood in the driveway, in a black dress with a slit up to her thigh, her blonde hair curled around her face, and she wore a pendant that's only purpose was to just dangle between her breasts.

He closed the book. "The demon who wears human flesh."

She smirked, glaring. "Keep this up, and I'll have to leave."

"Then why should I stop?"

She walked up the steps, sitting beside him. "I think it's time we spoke."

"Fine." He set the book on the ground. "What's this about? Nathaniel?"

"Yes." She turned on the bench, resting her elbow on the back. "As you know, that night is a blur to you, so it was easy to do this."

"Easy to do what?" He looked at her, confused. "Easy to sleep with me?"

"Mislead you." She moved her hand off her lap. "See, that night when you came over to look over the pictures you'd taken of me that week, I...slipped a drug into your drink. I wanted to loosen you up."

"You drugged me?!" Shawn wasn't even as shocked as his voice was.

"A little."

"You asshole!"

"Yes, yes, I am. Let me finish, I need to get this off my chest." She met his eyes. "I—I made the first move, and you pushed me off. I gave you more to drink, and eventually, you submitted to me. I took you to my bedroom, and I was kissing you and stroking you, and..."

"And?" he pressed.

She made a face. "Well, it was...difficult."

"How so? It seems you knew exactly what you wanted to do to me."

"You kept muttering "Sasha", which didn't make screwing you easy."

"Oh, I'm so sorry."

She glared. "Anyway, I managed to undress you and myself, and...I couldn't... Well, you weren't—heh, well, you just didn't..."

"Oh, my God, just finish the damn sentence." He hated when people did this, especially people he didn't care about.

"You would not come."

He blinked. "I didn't come?"

"No, you did not. Believe me, I tried, but I was unsuccessful. I don't know if it was the alcohol or the drug or perhaps yourself, but you would not give it up for me. That was a first," she mumbled.

He smiled proudly. "Go me." Then he frowned. "Then how the hell is Nathaniel—? Oh, you bitch!"

She winced. "Right, to the misleading you part. Umm, Nathaniel is my biological son, but you are not his biological father. I—I only lied to you, because I—we needed the money. We would need the money for the baby."

"You needed money? Have you seen what you wear? You obviously come from money, so why do you need more?"

"Yes, I do, but my parents cut me off. They said I needed to be more independent." She rolled her eyes. "I met a man a few years later and fell in love with him. He's the man who is Nathan's father."

"Wow, you have a heart to fall in love? I would be impressed if I gave a shit."

"Anyway, he works at the hospital—"

"Then why did you come up here with bullshit and try to destroy my marriage?!"

"Because he has college fees! He can barely support us, and I hated how we were barely living. I couldn't go one more day like that. I'd somehow managed to do it for three years. God, those were hard years and, somehow in those years I forgot about my plan, which was to make you think my pregnancy was caused by you so you'd help me financially. I was so stressed about bills and our situation that I must have forgotten. It came back to me when I saw you in the park a few months ago."

"So, you came to pump me for money? Why me of all men in the world?"

"Because I knew who your father was, and all the other Horvaths were old and married. His father worked close with my grandfather, and from what my grandfather told me about you Horvaths, you're all loyal and kind men. I knew you would be able to support a child and me, because of that." She bit her bottom lip. "So, I called you and said I wanted pictures made for something. I wanted to do you then, but Sasha got in the way. Her and her damn texting, and you just left before I could really talk. Then I got the picture via mail, so I knew the only way to see you again was to say you screwed them up. I was already four weeks pregnant at that time."

"My father?"

"Ethan Horvath." She nodded. "I'm sorry. I just—With your mom died and all, I just...couldn't keep lying to you. Besides, my parents have changed their minds so we're all taken care of now."

He stared at her. "You're a stone-cold bitch. To plot this and actually go through with it... Tsh." He had no words.

"I did what I thought was best."

"You thought ruining my life was best? Drugging me and forcing yourself on me to make me think I got you pregnant was best? You made Sasha break up with me, nearly made her never forgive me!" He was livid. "All because you're a selfish, spoiled little princess?!"

"Yes."

"Get off my porch, get off my property, and don't ever show your face to me or my wife or my family ever again!" he shouted.

She stood up and walked away then stopped and turned. "It worked out. You have twins on the way, and you two are married. You're happy. You have this nice house too."

"You're still here?" he seethed.

"Hey, for all you know, I did you a favor! You and Sasha might not be here if it wasn't for me." She crossed her arms. "Think about that, Shawn."

"GO!"

"Fine. Oh, wait." She pulled a bracelet off her wrist and held it out to him. "Nathan made it for you."

He looked at the plastic bracelet. "How could you do this to him?"

"Because I knew you would take care of him and be a good father figure, and you were these past few weeks. He really liked you, and he wants you to keep this. It's a...friendship bracelet or something like that."

He took it. "Do you really think you did me a favor?"

"I do." She met his eyes. "It all worked itself out, so no harm done, really."

"I spent ten months in a pit of depression because of you. I secretly hated myself for the past four years! Sasha questions me, because of you! How is that no harm done?"

"Those ten months are in the past, and you have many, many months and years to spent with Sasha and your kids. I am sorry. I know there were other ways to provide for my child, but I wasn't willing to resort to flipping burgers or scanning food. It's not who I am." She was proud of it. "And you had three years, and I didn't even take any money from you so..."

"You're a disgusting person. I don't see how his father went along with your idea."

"He doesn't know, so I would appreciate you not telling him."

"Why should I do you any favors? You almost ruined my life! You frigging lied me about your mom being dead too! I almost—almost—felt bad for you! And how in the hell did you get Dr. S to lie for you? He's a good man, so tell me how."

"Dylan—an old college buddy—phonied up those papers. He's good with computers." She shrugged. "Oh, and my birth mom is dead. She died of cancer a couple years ago. It was my dad's third new wife that kicked me out."

"All right, whatever. Get out of my life."

"Hey, Shawn?"

"What?" he snapped.

"Almost. I almost ruined your life." She turned and walked down the drive to where her car was parked. "Oh, and check your mail. It's close to bursting."

He grabbed a pillow from behind him and screamed into it when Vivian fell out of sight. After all this years, he finally had answers. He was just a pawn in her little, twisted as fuck game, but hey, he didn't come for her. God, he liked the other version so much better. This one was so much more complicated, and now he had to tell Sasha. She would want to tell the cops. He didn't want that kid to become a ward of the state. Nathan was a good kid with a bright future ahead of him. He just hoped he was nothing like his mother.

What was he going to do? Sasha would want to know what the talk was about, and he couldn't lie to her—he was bad at lying in general—but he couldn't tell her the truth either. Not the full truth anyway. Perhaps he could tweak the story here and there. He would simply tell her Vivian only lied so her kid would have a decent father figure, that he never came for her either. He hoped she would believe that.

He dragged himself up, taking a deep breath and letting go of Vivian and Nathaniel and the hate for that soulless wench. He wouldn't carry it around with him any longer. He was going to have kids soon, and he wouldn't have that hate inside him.

The mail. He might as well check it. He walked to the mailbox and saw she was right. It was full to bursting. He hadn't checked it in a long time, because he didn't really see it. He should trim the bushes here.

He tugged on a few envelopes, and they flew out at him. He groaned a sigh and collected all of the fallen envelops, seeing an odd-colored envelope. It was a gray-blue hue that his favorite color. He tucked the other bills and crap under his arm and picked it up. He tensed when he saw his name written in cursive across the front.

It was in his mother's hand.

––

Maggie woke up and found Glenn had already left. He was still mad about the other day, and she knew he was right. She just didn't want to face it. She just wanted to shower and go to work. She couldn't think about anything else right now.

She took a long, hot shower, washing her hair and massaging soup into her back. She didn't feel better when she got out, just clean. She wrapped a towel around herself and her hair, wiping off the mirror and brushing her teeth to get rid of the morning breath. She then followed it with mouthwash, spitting it into the sink.

She dried her hair with the towel as she walked to the kitchen, seeing Glenn had left the mail just tossed onto the table, and she collected them, pausing when she saw an strangely-color envelope. It was a light green, almost like leaves, which was her favorite color. She picked it up, finding no stamp, so it was hand delivered, but that's not what bothered her or made her softly gasp.

Maggie Renee Greene was written her mother's handwriting across the front of the envelope.

––

"Stop it!" Beth squirmed out of Zach's arms. "You are gettin' too grabby."

"And you keep teasing me."

"Just a little." She kissed him. "You smell like the hospital."

"I'll shower."

"Why don't you draw a bath instead? I have soaps in under the cabinet."

"What if I drown? It's a deep tub."

"Then I'll just have to join you, now won't I?" She smiled.

"That didn't even cross my mind. I was thinking about those foam noodles that keep you afloat."

"Ass." She shoved him playfully, and he kissed her. "I'll be up in a minute. I have to check this. Someone came by the hospital and left me something."

"A secret admirer?"

"He was a friend of the family and older, so I hope not."

"If he's creepy, let me know and I'll try to kick his ass."

"No, I can handle myself."

"And Andy would kill me if I ruined my hands." He shrugged and headed upstairs.

She shook her head and went through the few letters Otis probably dropped off. She knew most of them were bills, but it was one salmon-colored envelope that caught her attention. It wasn't stamped, and it didn't have an address on it either. Huh, she thought, turning it over and finding her name written across the back.

"Oh, my God." She covered her mouth with her hand, seeing her name was written in the same print as her mother, as Annette.

––

"Carol?" Daryl checked in on her as she stroked Bella's fur. "Hey, I'm gonna take Sophia to the park, get some fresh air."

"Okay."

"When we get back, we gotta talk."

"Okay."

He sighed softly. "You got some mail." He set it on the nightstand. "A couple of letters Jacqui dropped off. Please, read 'em."

She nodded. "I will."

He kissed her forehead, rubbing her hip with his hand gently. "I'll be back."

Another nod.

He left with Sophia, shaking his head.

Carol exhaled and Bella jumped down, going downstairs to eat, and she pushed herself up, her messy hair falling down her back. She pulled her legs in and picked up the letters, seeing some from old friends, and she set them down, picking up a light purple letter that was her favorite color, and she frowned, turning it over.

Her eyes burned as she saw the handwriting on the front that was her mother's.

My beautiful girl.

"Mommy?"

––

Hershel set a tray down on the table. "Sorry, I wasn't expecting anybody." He took a seat.

"Please, don't fuss over me." Dale smiled, letting silence fill the air for a moment. "It's quiet."

"It's just me, Otis, Patricia and the animals. The girls haven't been by in a while. Shawn comes by when he has the chance." He smiled sadly. "It's been a little lonely, but I'll be all right."

"How are you?"

"I don't know most days, but I like to think I'm handling it well." He chuckled softly. "Sometimes, I swear I see her. In the morning when I first wake up, I sometimes think I see her beside me and then it hits me that she's gone. I can't move, and I have to...work through it. Patricia's trying to help, but...I have to do this myself, just like with Jo."

He nodded. "I can't imagine how that feels, but if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask."

"Thank you."

"So, the girls have been distant?"

"Very. Bethy doesn't even call, and Mag and Carol are... Heh, I don't know." He swallowed hard. "I worry, but I know they can take care of themselves. Zach is a good man, I hear, and I trust Maggie with Glenn."

"And Daryl?"

"I've always trusted Carol with him. I know that he'll help her through this, because that's what they do for each other. I'm proud to call him family, just like Glenn. I hope to see them at Thanksgiving at this rate."

"Well, I may have done something to help that." Dale reached into his jacket and pulled out a white envelope. "Here."

"What's this?" Hershel accepted the letter and saw his name written on the front in Annette's hand. "Annette?"

"A few months she died, she wrote six letters and gave them to my wife. This was before she started getting better, and before Carol came home. She had plans of leaving the hospital and coming home, but Carol returned and so did Annette's strength." Hershel couldn't stop staring at the letter in his hands, and Dale continued. "She wrote a letter for you, Shawn, Beth, Maggie, me and Carol. When she died, she wanted me to give these letters to you all, and I have delivered them to you all today."

Hershel looked at him. "She...wrote a letter for all of us?"

He nodded. "She may have changed the letters out since Carol came back, I don't know for sure. My wife and Annette were very close, but Annette didn't want anyone to know what was in the letters, just the person they were assigned to."

"I see. Well, thank you for giving this to me."

"It's the least I could do." He checked his watch. "I have to get to work, but thank you for the coffee."

Hershel walked him to the door. "I'll see you later."

He nodded. "Take care of yourself."

Hershel pulled the door closed behind and went upstairs to their—to his room, sitting down on the bed and carefully opening the envelope. He pulled the letter free and unfolded it, seeing her delicate handwriting covering two pages, front and back.

To my dearest husband...