Shiho 7: Influenced By Others
Present day
Shiho paused, and wondered where to begin in the little time she had left in the evening. She decided to share her perspective on the battle
"For me, the battle went as Instructor Atago said it did," Shiho said. "The final outcome was the one that I had expected. It was perhaps more difficult to win than most of my battles, but victory does not always come easily to the Nishizumis. They must be able to withstand adversity and overcome any and all difficulties they encounter. That's essentially all there is to say about it, unless you have more specific questions."
"I suppose the best place to start would be why your forces retreated, and whether it was part of your plan," Masae said.
"It was not," Shiho said. "Not everyone has what it takes to follow the Nishizumi style, but they deviate from it in many different ways. Some people, including an unfortunate number of those at Black Forest, mistake blind obedience for discipline, and are unable to act independently when the plan falls into disarray. When my formation fell apart, I was unable to continue the attack, and was forced to withdraw. Only once I gained a more advantageous location was I able to fight back well enough to gain the upper hand."
"Black Forest back then was quite different from when we faced it this year," Hiroko said. "Is it possible that matches like this one were part of the reason why it changed?"
Shiho nodded.
"You may be surprised to hear this," Shiho said, "but Black Forest did take this match to heart and made some adjustments to its lineup," Shiho said. "As a result of some of the lighter tanks being defeated, and the heavier Maus helping to turn the tide, we replaced many of our lighter tanks with heavier ones."
"But you didn't rethink putting victory above all else, or how far you were willing to go for it," Hiroe said.
"No, because that would involve changing the core of the Nishizumi School's identity," Shiho said. "People are far more likely to change their means for achieving their goal than they are to change the goal itself."
"Instructor Nishizumi has a point, Hiroe," Masae said. "The fact of the matter is that not everyone can follow the principles the Nishizumi school, which is part of the reason why I chose to teach a different way of tankery. And while you and I don't always agree, I trust you to carry on my school because, in the end, you have all the necessary qualities."
Hiroe simply nodded. She might have found the point difficult to accept when it came from the woman she detested so much, but it was a different story entirely when it came from her mother.
Maho silently concurred. She knew that Miho's disagreement with the Nishizumi style lay at the heart of its creed, and her way was fundamentally incompatible with it. Finding a way of tankery she could call her own had taken most of her life, while she was able to adapt her strategies to Oarai's tanks and tankers relatively quickly.
After a moment of silence followed, Masae decided to ask Shiho about one topic she did not have any direct experience on.
"I think I know the answer, but how did your mother feel about it?" Masae said. "You won, but doing so was merely meeting what was expected of you, and the victory was likely not as smooth as she expected it to be."
"The same as usual," Shiho said. "She was pleased to hear of my successes, but never gave praise without pointing out my weaknesses or where I needed improvement. The Nishizumis strive for perfection, and must always be looking for the areas in which they are less than perfect."
Masae was tempted to point out how harsh they were on those who fell short, but realized that perhaps their perspective on perfection was more realistic than she had thought if they acknowledged how far they had to go.
23 years ago
Shiho sat in the living room of the Nishizumi house with her mother Hotaru, talking about the results of the tournament.
"You fulfilled my expectations again, Shiho," Hotaru said. "The final match was closer than it should have been, but in the end, only the result matters to the Nishizumis."
"Yes, Mother," Shiho said.
Shiho briefly wondered how Masae, despite having been to Black Forest and winning the tournament, could be content with a second-place finish. Just what had she learned in her year apart from Shiho? What people and experiences influenced her in her childhood years?
"But if I may say so, Mother, there are those who would view a single victory in the tournament as like a miracle," Shiho said.
"That's too bad for them," Hotaru said, her voice full of condescending pity. "In ages past, we dreamed of flying in the sky, watching the birds fly and the clouds float. Through a relentless drive to succeed and improve ourselves, we can fly above the clouds, faster than sound, and even reach the stars with the right vehicles. This is a victory you have earned through the best possible training and unrelenting efforts, Shiho- do not concern yourself with the opinions of those who fall short in either regard."
Shiho nodded. She knew what she had to do, as well as what set her apart from someone like Masae. She would succeed where they failed, and to do so, she would not make the same compromises they had.
"Yes, Mother," Shiho said. "And I promise you- I will do everything in my power to uphold the Nishizumi School's honor, and raise daughters who will do the same."
Over the years, Shiho met many people with different ideals and different approaches to tankery, even those close to her. But she never wavered from the resolution she made on this day, nor did she lose sight of her goal. She believed that resolve was what set her apart from all others, and why the Nishizumi school would always stand at the pinnacle of tankery.
Present day
"This conversation I had with my mother best sums up what being a Nishizumi means, and explains why we do what we do," Shiho said. "By accepting nothing less than the best, we achieve the best possible results."
"I don't get your mother's metaphor, Instructor Nishizumi," Hiroe said. "Didn't aeronautical engineers have to upgrade their machines, keep abreast of new developments and think outside the box to achieve what they did, instead of relying on tradition?"
"It's a question of determination, Assistant Instructor Atago," Shiho said, "as well as of looking past what you have accomplished to what's next, and pushing yourself far enough to get there. And it's through those processes that we raise our children to be the next leaders of tankery."
Hiroe frowned, realizing that Shiho had not answered her question, while her mother, sister and cousin remained silent, unsure of how to respond. As if on cue, the waiter picked up the check, and Masae and Shiho realized that their time was up.
"I think that's enough talk for tonight," Shiho said as they headed to the front door, "since I've shared all I wish to about my tankery career in school, and we have to get ready for tomorrow. But I assume you have more unanswered questions... just like I do."
"I do," Masae said, "mainly concerning your inheriting your school and raising your children. Let's meet again for dinner tomorrow, at the same time and place, if everyone is willing."
None of the five teenage girls objected.
"Very, well, we have a deal," Shiho said. "I have to head to the bathroom before I leave. Miho, Maho, wait here until I'm done."
"Yes, Mother," Maho said. Miho nodded in agreement.
Shiho walked off, knowing that Masae would take the opportunity to speak with her daughters, but indifferent to what she would say. Shiho had spent almost two decades instilling Miho and Maho with her teachings. A few minutes with Masae would not cause Maho to stray from her path, nor would it cause Miho to be twisted any more than she already was.
As Shiho headed to the bathroom, Masae turned to Miho and Maho.
"Miho, Maho, I hope I didn't come off as too harsh regarding your mother," Masae said.
The Nishizumi sisters shook their heads.
"Mother did ask us to communicate honestly for this to work," Maho said. "She expected you would say what you did about her, including your initial tirade."
"I agree with my sister," Miho said, "both with what she said just now, and early on. Everything you said about my mother was what I already knew. It's somewhat painful to be reminded of it, but I realize that not talking about it doesn't change reality. I think I've always known that my family is not what would be considered normal."
"So did Mother," Maho said. "The difference is that she did not see that as a bad thing."
Miho nodded.
"But whether it was good or bad, I can never change that this is my family, or my mother is my mother," Miho said. "I want to be in her family... even if I also want her her to acknowledge that I'm her daughter. It was honestly difficult for me to talk about this, but it's better to get it out in the open."
"That's a good sentiment, Miho," Hiroko said. "I've always been of the opinion that difficult subjects are the ones most discussing, and that it's never a good idea to ignore the elephant in the room."
"I do have to wonder, though, Kinue, Hiroko," Maho said, "What are your thoughts on my mother?"
"You're not asking me, huh, Maho?" Hiroe said playfully. "That's OK, though, I made it pretty obvious where I stand."
A moment of silence ensued. Hiroe then turned to her sister and cousin, who were still thinking over their responses.
"It's not that I hate Instructor Nishizumi," Kinue said. "It's just that I don't believe that I would fit well with the Nishizumi school. Perhaps my sister would, but..." Kinue trailed off, then cleared her throat, having come to decide how to phrase what she wanted to say. "It's possible that she'd turn out more like you, Maho-san, rather than the sister I know."
"Is that necessarily a bad thing, Kinue?" Hiroko said. "I, for one, like both of the Nishizumi sisters, even if I believe Instructor Nishizumi is not a good parent, and her children grew up the way they were despite, rather than because of her influence."
"I feel the same way you do, Hiroko," Kinue said. "It's just..." Kinue trailed off.
"I actually get what you're saying, Kinue," Maho said. "Miho, who's most similar to you, has had to struggle against the Nishizumi school's expectations, and I'm glad that she did so while keeping her personality intact. And as for your sister, I'm personally glad that Hiroe remains as true to herself as she is."
Hiroe and Miho nodded.
"Thanks, Maho," Hiroe said, honestly flattered. "I always thought my ego and big mouth only got me into trouble."
"People do change, Onee-chan," Miho said. "We all have to, as part of growing up, maturing, seeing circumstances that challenge us as individuals, and being influenced by others. But there are some parts of us that we don't willingly give up, and it's those parts that I would likely have had to sacrifice had I chosen to adhere to the Nishizumi style."
"True," Maho said. "But the Nishizumi school, despite asking its disciples to follow and uphold its ideals, doesn't ask them to leave their individuality at the door. Its students have various personalities motivations for studying there. They largely want to become the best they possibly can at tankery, but for many of them, tankery is a means to an end, or not necessarily their final career goal."
"I see what you mean," Masae said. "But to be honest, I haven't had a chance to talk with many Nishizumi school students about this, or at least get them to say anything more personal than their tankery ideology."
"Is that so, Instructor Atago?" Maho said. "In that case, I have a suggestion, if you'd like to hear it."
"Certainly, Maho," Masae said.
"Some of the Nishizumi school's students, including those whom Mother taught, are attending the convention," Maho said. "Before you meet Mother again, I'd like you, if possible, to talk to some of those students, to find out their motivations, personalities and personal styles of tankery. The Nishizumi school's students are by no means homogeneous, and it would be a good opportunity for you."
"I'm interested," Masae said. "If you could, please let any of them know that I would like to talk with them.."
"I could pass along the message to our maid, Kagurazaki Kikuyo-san," Miho said. "She's friends with Instructor Chouno Ami of the JGSDF, and Coach Kubo Takako of Black Forest, both of whom are at the convention. They're hoping to meet up tomorrow at lunch, so they might be interested in speaking with you."
"Please do," Masae said. "If it meets with their approval, I can meet with them at lunch.'
Shiho then emerged from the restroom.
"I'm ready to go," Shiho said, before turning to Instructor Atago. "I'll see all of you tomorrow. Let's go, Maho, Miho."
"Talk to you later," Hiroe said to the Nishizumi sisters, hoping to see them again separately from their mother.
While the Atagos walked back to the hotel, the Nishizumis remained outside the restaurant for a brief discussion.
"Miho, I have a question for you," Shiho said, wondering and, to some extent, dreading what Shiho had to ask now that the Atagos were no longer around.
"Yes, Mother?" Miho said.
"Do you believe Maho's assessment of your views on me was accurate?" Shiho said.
Miho let off a sigh. She found her feelings on this matter difficult to say out loud, especially to her mother, and hoped to let Maho's description of them speak for itself. But at this point, she couldn't back down.
"...it is," Miho said hesitantly. "It saddened me to hear that you were considering disowning me, and I was determined to win in order to avert that. But there were things I value enough to do what I must regardless of the cost."
"I know," Shiho said. "And for what it's worth, while I do not regret making that ultimatum to you before the semi-finals, I no longer believe that threats can sway you from your path, nor do I believe that disowning you will necessarily preserve our family's reputation."
Miho remained silent, unsure of how to take her mother's remark. She was grateful that she would likely remain in the family for the foreseeable future, but saddened that her mother still seemed to value her school over her family.
"Instructor Atago and Hiroe would be unhappy to hear that," Maho said. A part of her considered adding "As would I," but realized that she was all too used to her mother's views. Very little about her mother shocked her anymore; while horrified about Miho being threatened with disinheritance, Maho had not been surprised.
"That much is obvious," Shiho said. "And yet, in spite of their opposition, they seemed more willing to hear me out than usual. Who knows how they will react to hearing me talk about my family tomorrow night?"
With that, Shiho let the discussion drop, and the Nishizumis walked to the hotel in silence.
Back in the Nishizumi family's hotel room, Miho approached Maho in the bathroom, in the hopes of speaking with her privately. The two had changed to more casual attire.
"So what do you want to talk with me about, Miho?" Maho said.
"You seemed more… open… with your opinions around Mother tonight, Onee-chan," Miho said. "I was quite surprised."
"Throughout much of my life, I kept quiet at many crucial points so that I could be the heiress Mother wanted," Maho said. "But while I could ensure that my responsibilities didn't fall to you, I couldn't support you at various points."
"That's not an easy decision, Onee-chan," Miho said. "But I'm grateful that you were thinking of me."
"Of course, it was an entirely different situation tonight," Maho said. "Part of the reason is that it's the Atago family, who do not share Mother's values and know who I am. I do not need to act in a way that commands their respect and ensures their obedience, since they have none for our school and are not bound to obey us."
"I see," Miho said."But that doesn't mean that you could openly contradict Mother, does it?"
"No," Maho said, "but on the other hand, I could point out facts and share my perspective as any of my roles besides Mother's heiress. Being true to myself, especially when it comes to you, was a good feeling, and I'm starting to understand why Hiroe is so straightforward with her opinions."
"So do I," Miho said, "I learned that from talking with Kinue-san."
"Hiroe's exceptionally confident," Maho said, "which is why I think she can say what she does. Her ego does sometimes go to her head, and she can be impetuous at times, but she's largely able to go forward without any regrets and face difficult odds without faltering. I respect that part of her a great deal, and suspect that confidence and boldness are part of the reason why she's one of my more dangerous opponents in tankery."
Maho glanced at her watch.
"We should head back," Maho said, "lest Mother start to wonder what we'll up to."
"Ok," Miho said. "And Onee-chan? Thank you."
Maho smiled.
"I'm just telling the truth, Miho," Maho said.
Inside the hotel, Kikuyo, one of the Nishizumi family maids, was in the process of doing the laundry. She accompanied Shiho to help her with certain matters, and as a tanker, staying in a separate and more modest room.
Miho happened upon Kikuyo as she sat on a bench, watching the laundry spin in the dryer.
"Hello, Miho-sama," Kikuyo said, standing up and bowing to Miho, her mistress' daughter.
"Do you mind if I join you, Kikuyo-san?" Miho said.
"Please do," Kikuyo said, and she and Miho sat down next to each other.
After a moment of silence, save for the dryer tumbling Kikuyo decided to speak first.
"I would like to apologize, Miho-sama," Kikuyo said. "We have not have many opportunities to talk since the semifinals."
"I got all your letters, Kikuyo-san," Miho said, unable to disprove Kikuyo's observation but hoping to emphasize an equally relevant and more positive fact. "I'm glad that we, at the very least, can keep in contact this way."
"As am I," Kikuyo said.
"I know," Miho said. "And I have some idea of how you felt back then, when you had to deliver Mother's message."
"That's good," Kikuyo said. "I was deeply upset to hear of what the mistress was proposing, but could not openly oppose her. But in spite of all all that, I still have a great deal of respect and gratitude for her. She is still the woman who helped teach me tankery, and because I entered her service, I was able to meet you and Maho-sama. While I do not always agree with the mistress' decisions, I cannot forget what I owe her."
"I don't doubt that there are those who have a great deal of respect for the Nishizumi style, and Mother in particular," Miho said. "I just want to be able to practice my own way of tankery."
Kikuyo nodded.
"I share that hope as well, Miho-sama," Kikuyo said. "But if I may say so, I was pleased to hear that you had come to terms with your feelings about Black Forest, and came to see your time there as part of your development."
"Instructor Atago did the same in the past," Miho said. "She, too, was a student of Black Forest, and she reached her own conclusions regarding her style of tankery."
"Really?" Kikuyo said. "I would like to meet her at some point."
"You may get the chance tomorrow," Miho said, "because I heard that she would like to speak with you, as well, to learn more about some of the Nishizumi school students."
Kikuyo nodded.
"I'm meeting with Ami-san, and Takako-san, as well as one of Ami-san's friends, and Saunders' coach for lunch," Kikuyo said. "I'll talk to the others, but I'm sure they won't mind one more."
The Atagos settled back into their hotel room, and changed into relatively casual clothing.
"I hadn't expected to learn this much about Instructor Nishizumi tonight," Masae said.
"Neither did I, Mom, but surely you've noticed that she's not entirely different from what you've expected?" Hiroe said. "She's still rationalizing her decisions and holding her ways of doing things as superior to all others."
Hiroko nodded in agreement.
"Sometimes what's on the inside of a person isn't entirely different from the outside," Hiroko said, "just like how beneath ice on a frozen pond, there's bitterly cold water. Instructor Nishizumi is an outwardly cold person, but on the inside, there's a person who practices what she preaches, even at great cost to herself and her family."
"That's a valid assertion, Hiroko, and I agree with your assessment of Instructor Nishizumi," Masae said. "But, just as you said, she's been conditioned to accept that, and believes that the same circumstances that shaped her are acceptable means of child rearing."
"I know," Hiroko said. "And for what it's worth, Aunt Masae, I'm glad that Grandma and Grandpa raised you and Mom differently."
"Yeah," Hiroe said. "Now that I think about it, Instructor Nishizumi's childhood and school years were pretty lonely and empty. Hearing about it actually makes me feel bad for her to some degree... but also even more angry that she'd inflict that on someone else. I mean, I still find it hard to believe that she found such an upbringing good when her daughters did not."
Hiroe had made many friends over her years in tankery, in addition to meeting some of the people her mother had mentioned. In spite of her ego, she never placed herself on a pedestal above others.
"But what about the people who study under Instructor Nishizumi?" Kinue said. "Do they follow all her teachings?"
"I can't say for certain, Kinue," Masae said, "and Maho did ask me to find out for myself. That request from the heiress, in and of itself, says quite a bit about how the Nishizumi school is not necessarily homogeneous. What other things will Nishizumi disciples say that I haven't anticipated? I look forward to finding out."
End of Act I
Author's Notes
Thank you for the reviews.
I fixed a few minor errors, such as word agreement and word choice.
After an Intermission chapter, Act II will follow, featuring Harue, Ami, Takako and Kikuyo.
Character Analysis: The Younger Atagos
Masae's daughters and niece find that various parts of the stories they hear resonate with them.
Hiroe, who has never been the most polite individual (canonically, she's a bit standoffish toward her opponents when they're not giving their all, but kind to her teammates), finds it difficult to be in Shiho's presence. Since Shiho makes no secret of the many opinions Hiroe finds reprehensible, Hiroe has little desire to keep her opinions about Shiho to herself.
Still, in hearing of her mother and Shiho's efforts when they were younger, Hiroe can't help but be reminded of her own. She believes nothing justifies what Shiho is doing, but wonders where she and Shiho are different. She will inherit Masae's school one day, and hopes to run it differently than Shiho did, keeping it true to its principles without becoming obsessed with them, or losing sight of the truly important things.
Kinue is more mild mannered, but is also troubled by Shiho's attitude toward her family. She is painfully aware that she is the kind of person who would not fit in with the Nishizumi family, and that if those standards were applied to her, she would be cast out of the family.
Kinue sees a little of herself in Miho- her admiration of her sister, warmth and determination, all of which are the "non-Nishizumi" traits- and as such, the two have become relatively close over the last few months. She also likes Maho, but realizes that if her own sister had been raised by the Nishizumis, she would likely not be the same person Kinue knows, loves and looks up to, being emotionally reserved rather than passionate and honest. Despite this, she's glad that Maho shares the same supportive relationship with Miho that Hiroe shares with her
Hiroko is somewhere between her two cousins. She's cool-headed and dispassionate, but also somewhat brutally honest at times. She's willing to tell Shiho where she goes wrong, but not taking it quite as personally as the others do, largely because of her personality. She has also imagined her life as a relative of the Nishizumis, and believes that, barring any interference from her parents, she would refuse to get involved in tankery if she had to do it the Nishizumi way. On the other hand, she concedes Kinue's point that any cousins she had on Shiho's side of the family might not be like either of them, although she's quick to point out that's not necessarily a bad thing, as she gets along well enough with both of the Nishizumi sisters to call them friends.