All You Leave Behind

by Lynnth2014

Carol's on the run from a mistake in her recent past, but the only place she can go has the man she ran from originally. She had to find somewhere safe for her daughter, and that meant going home, back to her friends and family, back where they would find happiness. But with light, there is always dark, and he was Carol's. He would find them, it was only a matter of time.

29. With Love

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Might I suggest You'll Be In My Heart by Celtic Women, which I listened to while typing this.

––

To my beautiful young daughter who will always be my pretty girl,

I want you to know your leaving was the hardest thing that ever happened to me. Harder than losing your big sister, Emily Nichole Harrison. I carried her for nine months, and she was a healthy baby girl, but I guess that didn't matter. I could still feel her moving inside of me, but it wasn't real. It was something called phantom fetal movement. I thought that was the worst feeling I'd ever experience in my life, but I was wrong. This is. While I carried her for nine months, I carried you and held you and watched you grow for nineteen years. For you to leave like that, without telling anybody, was cruel and utterly selfish. I know you're in pain and trying to find yourself, your purpose, but there were better ways of doing that than just abandoning your husband, your life and your family. Losing Ethan...I wish dearly you hadn't gone through losing Ethan, but he's at peace now. I can only hope you are now too.

All I can do now is pray for you. Pray that you find peace in your new life and that you find love and kindness and warmth. I shall pray for you every single night and hope you return to me before I am gone from this world. You are my beautiful daughter who grew up too fast and knew pain too early. I wanted to protect you, but you wouldn't have it. You pushed me away, pushed Daryl away, and I know why. I've always known, and I wish I could've told you that. Perhaps one day I will. Every night, I will pray you back to me. I will.

It's been two years, and I'm in this hospital, rotting, it feels like. Nobody wants to tell me the truth, they all want to sugarcoat it, but I know. I'm dying every day, a little more than everyone else. I'm not scared of dying. My only fear is leaving you and your brother and sisters and father. What will become of you all? I worry you'll grow distant or blame each other or blame yourselves. It's not one of your all faults that I am ill. It's never been any of your faults. I am not a strong woman medically. I'm okay with that, because Ethan allowed me to have two amazing children who are strong physically, mentally and medically. You two will go far, and even if I only see Shawn's achievements that's fine by me too, because I know you'll be out there, doing greats things as well, my pretty girl.

I've been slacking off in my writing. I've been writing to Beth and to Maggie lately. I know I promised myself I would write to all my girls and to Shawn, but some days it's just easier to write to my little nurse and my strong officer-in-training and my not-so-little photographer. I am so proud of them, and I won't bore you with details, pretty girl, because I've given my hand a cramp in their letters. I think I'll spend some time outside today. Do you remember our trip to the cornfield? That was a gorgeous day and such fun. Oh, you won't remember, but when you were six and seven, we did it then too. You were sick when you were nine, so we skipped it that year. I know I promised we'd do it again when you were eleven, but so much came up, my darling, and if I could explain it to you, I would. I'll leave that to Dale however.

I'm looking at your graduation photos. Shawn made me this lovely book of pictures, like a school yearbook, and I just keep looking at you at graduation with Daryl. Goodness, that boy, in plaid and black jeans on graduation. He's so charming, and he doesn't even know it. You've been so good for him, and I know one day, he will see the man he is inside. I'm so glad you two met, because I've never seen a truer love form before my eyes. I've experienced it, but to see to grow over the years is...so beautiful. God has never made better soul mates than you and Daryl Dixon, who I will proudly call my son-in-law, no matter what papers say, for the rest of my life. I know in my heart you never wanted to leave, you just felt you had to. I know I will one day see him as my son-in-law, whether or not I am there bodily. He's a good man, don't ever lose him because of sorrow, pretty girl. Men like him are so rare. He may be damaged, but he will heal one day, as will you, darling. As will you.

Your father and I went to my grandson's grave today. We left him a beautiful bouquet of flowers and one Cherokee rose for you. It was such a gorgeous day, and I spent it with your father, not in some dingy little hospital room where I feel as if I am losing my mind. I think it's time I check out. I don't want to die here. I want to die at home in my bed. I want to spend my final days with my family, with laughter and smiles surrounding me, and I want to close my eyes one night and let the Lord take me in His arms. That's what I want, and hopefully, in a few days, I will be out of here.

It's hard to decide what I want to write to you. Most of my writings are too sad, too doubtful, and I don't want anyone to see them. I intend to burn them, because they were written in moments of weakness. There aren't many moments, but when I have them, pen and paper seem close by. It seems my happier times aren't easily written down. They get lost in my mind, and I simply write something close to what it was. If you could see me now, I'm laughing, because I can just imagine the tears in your eyes and that sad little smile as plain as day. Oh, pretty girl, I mirror that look right now.

You're home! My beautiful little girl—woman, really—has come home! Thank the Lord for blessing me with this gift! I have no words, just tears of joy. I have a grandchild, a beautiful little angel who is sweet and very like her mother. She's the most amazing thing I've seen today, and I am so, so blessed. I'm also dropping more tears than words. Goodness.

You came to me today in tears, guilty and depressed. I know Daryl is not who has broken you, nor was it Ethan. I know someone else had harmed you, but I know you won't tell me just yet. I will wait until you are ready to talk about it. If you never are then that's all right too. I just hope this darkness hasn't taken you over. I raised you to be strong, and if this darkness has won, it's because you let it. I will be disappointed beyond words if you let it win, my pretty girl. You are strong—so much stronger than I ever was—and I know you can fight this. No man or woman can take power from you unless you let them. And if you let them take that power, don't let them keep it. Take it back. Forgive them for their sins and pray that God has mercy on their tainted soul. It may seem impossible, but you will be a better person for it, and that darkness will never hurt you again. It will just be there, beneath you, and you can walk right over it.

Well, at last I am home. Strong and able, they say. I knew this all along, didn't you? Don't laugh. Or do laugh, if you feel you need to. Laughter is a power thing. It can wipe away pain and tears, or if you're old like I am, it can make you wet yourself. Oh, well, let's not go there. I just wanted to write this down, because it's a good day to remember. I have my family back, and I am truly home now. I even have my beautiful niece over and her precious little girl. Allen and Maura would be so proud, if only they knew. Poor Dale, having to keep our secrets. He's a good man, and he's been kind to us, so please when he tells you the news, do not hate him or Ethan. He did what he did for us, and he wasn't Ethan Wellington Horvath. He's a Harrison, always has been, as you always will be. Greene doesn't change who you are, whose blood is running through your veins; it's just to remind you that when life gives you unbearable pain...you can move on from it and better yourself. You can find peace. I want you to know that.

Do you remember the trip to the beach we took just before you went into seventh grade? It was the best trip, but sadly the only one we were able to take with Ethan before he passed. You wanted to bring Daryl, but at the time we didn't know him well enough—in truth, Ethan didn't you to get interested in boys yet—so you went out and took as many pictures as possible. You wanted him to feel as if he went too. You spent all of the allotted money we gave you on the pictures, getting all kinds of stuff for him, and you didn't even have enough room left in your duffel bag by the time you were done. We had to buy one for you. Ethan didn't understand why you had gone through the trouble, but he told me that Daryl was a very lucky young man to have you in his life. He always wanted to meet Daryl, but he never really got the chance. Well, I hope one day many, many, many years from now, he will.

If I were to die today, before your birthday, before my grandchildren are born, before Maggie and Glenn are married, before Beth becomes a nurse, I wouldn't mind. You have a full family away from me and your father and sisters and brother. You have a precious little girl and an endlessly loyal man who loves you with his entire soul. Maggie has Glenn, who adores her and cares for her more than he cares for himself. Beth has Zach, and from the way she talks about him, I can tell she loves him ardently and he loves her—don't tell her I had lunch with him once, shh. It'll be our little secret. And Shawn and Sasha. I doubt I need to even write about them, because you see how they are. They were made for each other, and I am so grateful they worked everything out and are going to be parents. So, if I were to die today, I would die happily. I am able to look over every decision I've made—that I can remember, of course—and say that I am contented with them. Any mistakes I have made are all right with me, because they helped to shape me, helped to better me. Death is not something to be feared, pretty girl. It is simply the next form you take. Live your life to the fullest, so that when you leave this world, you won't be swarmed with regrets. You would leave this world content and loved and smiling. I can only hope that is how I die since I am all of those things now.

With unconditional love, Annette Grace Harrison-Greene

Then it stopped, no more words, just a small note that read: Go home, for I have more to say.

"What? No, no, no, no, no." She turned the letter over and over, but there was nothing else. "What?"

Go home, for I have more to say.

Carol tossed the blankets off her legs and ran into the bathroom, washing the tear strains off her face. She then zipped to the closet, grabbing a backless, crossed strap floral dress. It was the first thing in her reach. She brushed her hair out, wincing and groaning at all the knots and tangles. This was what she got for showering last night and not brushing her hair out. She grabbed a hair tie, sliding it up her wrist, and she shouldered her purse, grasping the letter and folding it back up, gently tucking into her purse.

She was panting by the time she got down the stairs, out of shape from the lack of movement. She made a stop for a bottle of water then bolted out the door and to her car. She paused and ran back inside. Shoes! She forgot her damn shoes!

She was tempted to wear a pair of Daryl's by the door, but they would never fit. She hurried to her bedroom, and she grabbed the sandals by the door and quickly slipped them on. She adjusted the buckle, doing a half-hop, half-walk hopping down the hall. There!

Padding down the stairs, she once again ran out to the door. She locked the house up and climbed into her car, pushing hair out of her face and driving to the farm. She had to know what her mother had left for her. She didn't even want to consider what her father would say when she ransacked his bedroom. She would explain once she found the rest of the letter or a diary or whatever Annette had left for her. She wouldn't let her mom's last words to her fall out of reach. She would tear the house apart if it had to.

Carol saw Shawn's car beside Maggie's when she arrived at the farm, and as she got out, she saw Beth pulling in. She saw a similar envelope in Beth's hand, and they both went inside together, finding Shawn and Maggie in the living room with their dad. Maggie was pacing the length of the couch while Shawn sat in the arm chair, and Hershel was holding an envelope tightly in his hand, but not crumpling it in any way.

"Dad—" Carol began at the exact same time Beth said, "Daddy—"

They exchanged a glance, but said nothing more.

"You're all here. Good." He smiled. "Have a seat."

They all sat on the couch, Beth gave an awkward smile to her sisters and Shawn, and Maggie and Carol gave one right back. Only Shawn smiled at them happily, not awkwardly. He even waved, and Carol smiled a little inside, having missed him.

"You all read your letters?" Hershel asked.

"Yeah." Beth crossed her legs. "But mine just stopped. She was talkin' bout...my infertility, and then there was nothin' but a note tellin' me to come to the farm."

"Me too." Maggie sat up. "Only she was writin' about how it was I should always put others before myself as a police officer and to always trust my gut and then there was a little note to go see you, Daddy."

"Same as me," was all Carol said.

"I got lectured," Shawn openly told them. "She chewed me out for four pages on how I should know I'm going to be a good father and that I should stop whining and trying to be her. It was great, warmed my heart."

"She wrote you four pages?" Beth glared at him.

"I meant front and back. It's was two."

"Oh." She smiled apologetically.

"Annette wrote me a letter as well." Hershel lifted the envelope up. "And I have the rest of yours."

"Thank God." Maggie held her hand out. "I have to meet Glenn, so I'm in kind of a hurry."

"Yeah, I have a dentist appointment in half an hour." Beth stood up.

"I just want to read mine," Carol and Shawn said softly at the same time, both giving each other a small smile.

"No."

"What?" they all exclaimed.

"This the first time nearly four weeks that I have seen you altogether and you're just rushing to get away from each other!" His face was beet red. "I lost my wife, and now I've lost you all as well, it seems!"

"Expect for me," Shawn reminded him.

"Expect for Shawn."

"Dad—" Mag started to explain.

"Don't!" He was really angry about this. "I don't know what happened to you all after Annette died, but you girls just pulled away. Why? If you can answer me why and don't give me an excuse, I may consider giving you these letters."

A beat.

Hershel looked from Maggie's face to Beth's to Carol's, all of them unable to meet his eyes, all of their eyes looking either down or to the side. He just shook his head and walked out of the room, not listening when Shawn called to him.

"So," Shawn said once the tension...stayed, "are you proud of yourselves?"

They glared.

"I'm being quite serious."

They didn't speak.

He scoffed at them. "Well, you've done it. Congratulations. You've pissed off the most patient man in the world. And you didn't stop there, you've even pulled away from me and that patient man and each other. You probably pulled away from Daryl and Sophia too, huh, Carol? Your own daughter, who needs you now more than ever, you shut her out. You just put up the walls and closed the blinds. That's good parenting." He didn't give her a chance to reply before he attacked again, but he directed his anger at a different sister this time. "How about Glenn? He seemed pretty ticked today. He beat the crap out of some dough. I guess that's the most accurate response since the last time his girlfriend pulled away, she robbed him blind and screwed his best friend." Maggie opened her mouth to object, but Shawn went to Beth. "And you, Beth. Little Bethy...cuddling up with the young doctor Cole. I mean, I am happy for you. You have got a great future ahead of you, and kicking dust and dirt into Dad's face, Patricia's face and even Otis's face is a great way to repay them for helping you through college when you couldn't afford paper or food or cloths."

Beth pulled into herself, gripping her elbows and trying to keep the tears out of her eyes.

"Mom would be beyond disgusted and disappointed with you all, knowing she'd raised ungrateful, weak, selfish women. Every day you all watched her be an amazing, altruistic person, even when she wasn't feeling well, and you three just said to hell with that, I assume."

Silence.

"I may not have always be a great person or—or son, but at least I'm the person and the son she raised me to be." He stormed out of the room, slamming the front door, but he stayed out on the porch. He just needed to get away from them for a minute.

How could they not see how much they'd changed? It'd only been a few weeks, but they'd changed so much. Strangers could see it, but they couldn't. It made him so angry. After everything they'd been through, after everything that Annette had taught they, they let all of that fly out the window. They were all in pain, and they would always have this pain with them, but that was not reason enough to cut Hershel and Patricia and Otis out of their lives, to cut each other out of their lives. Sweet Lord, why didn't they realize this? He was supposed to be the stupid older brother. Now he had to be the damn cricket of the group. Dear Lord, this was truly a sad day.

Carol shifted herself toward the entrance of the room, elbow resting on the arm of the couch, and she shook his head, trying not to cry. She had came here to get away from Ed and so that Sophia could have a good live. A life filled with love and laughter, not fear and abuse. She'd given Sophia a family and laughter and love, but the minute her mother died, Carol changed and Sophia had nothing but sadness and worry. She wanted their life here to be great, and it was, but now it was this mess of suffering and silence.

Her shoulders shook as she cried soundlessly. Sophia had lost someone she loved for the first time ever, and Carol had abandoned her too. She knew Sophia had questions, and she still blocked Sophia's every attempt to talk to her. She would pretend she was asleep or just stare at the walls whenever Sophia came into her bedroom, and she would cry when Daryl came and carried her out, telling her she knew better than bother her. She knew better? Carol couldn't let those words go, because they were unnecessary and ridiculous. Sophia didn't have to hide or walk on eggshells around her, but Carol had made her think she had to. She'd shut out her little girl and left her to try and figure out why Grandma was gone, why she wasn't coming back.

God, and Daryl. She sucked in a soft breath. Daryl such a good man. God, he was the best man. She didn't deserve him, not after the way she treated him. He would talk to her, ask how she was feeling and ask if she needed anything or wanted anything. All she did was ignore him. She would roll away from him and cuddle Bella or Dee Dee to her chest and pretend he didn't exist. She knew his father used to do that to him, only it wasn't a kitten or stuffed animal he cuddled but a bottle of whiskey or rum or whatever he could get his hands on. Gradually she let Daryl touch her, give her a kiss, but never on the lips and never for too long. She was denying his love for her, just the way she did when she lost Ethan and tried to first overdose on medication then left town. He's most likely thinking she's going to try and leave again. She hasn't proven herself to him, and he's probably preparing for her to bail. She wasn't going to leave. She just wasn't...wanting to accept love then, because it was love given to ease her through her mother's death, and she didn't want to accept her mother's death. She couldn't, but she was starting to. She needed to talk to Daryl and to Sophia. She couldn't keep doing this. What the hell was wrong with her?

Beth looked over as Carol began to cry, and her first instinct was to comfort her, but she held herself back. She could only hear Shawn's words playing in her head like an over-voice, seeing her Daddy's face as he looked at them with such disappointment that it cut into her heart. Kicking dust and dirt into Dad's face, Patricia's face and even Otis's face. You were always small with that bright blond hair and those compassionate baby blue eyes. You always go out of your way to let others know you care. She felt her eyes burning, remembering the words in her letter. She knew she had been spending a lot of time with Zach lately, but she never thought she was hurting anybody. She was happy with him, and he made her laugh, he made her smile. He made losing her mother for a second time almost bearable. There were times in the night when she would be dreaming about her mothers and wake up to remember they were both gone, and he would hold her while she cried.

She ran a hand through her hair. Kicking dust and dirt into Dad's face, Patricia's face and even Otis's face is a great way to repay them for helping you through college when you couldn't afford paper or food or cloths. Was she really being so horrible? She promised she would pay them back as soon as she was out of college and had made a dent in paying her college fees. She knew they didn't like her owing them, and if they didn't need the money for later, they wouldn't ask her to pay them back. They said that was fine, that she could take her time and just get settled. She was settling and paying off fees, but she'd also cut them out of her life. Patricia was her best friend. With her and Annette, she was able to make peace with her infertility a little more each day. Had she really been so ungrateful?

She knew they worked the farm more now since Daddy was mourning Annette, so she didn't want to distract them. Or was that just her excuse? She knew they could work and talk at the same, and if she was really bothered by her disturbing them, she could have simply rolled up her sleeves and helped them. She had been running, not very far, but she had been. She just was tired of says goodbye to people she loved. She hated it so much, and it would always be in her life. She needed to accept that, because Annette wouldn't want her to run from her family. She didn't want to either.

Maggie crossed her arms over her chest as Carol and Beth soft sobs were reduced to snuffles beside her, and she exhaled softly. "Why are we pullin' away?"

"Because I thought I was protectin' myself," Beth murmured.

"It's so easy." Carol grabbed a tissue. "It's...just so much easier in the moment to shut down. It's a slow death in the future."

"Mom wouldn't want us to do this to ourselves or to Daddy or Shawn. Or to Patricia and Otis." Maggie looked at them. "We need to accept her death, all of us, because it's hurtin' more than just us."

"It ain't that easy." Beth hugged herself.

"We can start by reading her letters to us," Carol suggested. "And by me eulogizing her."

Maggie nodded. "Then I'll drive."

"I'll get Daddy." Beth stood up and went upstairs to find her father.

"I'll get Shawn."

"No need, I'm here." He leaned in the doorway. "And I am sorry."

"Don't be. You were right." Carol rose and hugged him. "I'm sorry too."

He smiled slowly and hugged her back. "It's good to have my sister back. I've been waiting for years and months now."

"Shut up."

"Tsh, you can't pay me to shut up."

She suddenly realized just how much Shawn's prodding helped them, helped her, and she hugged him a little tighter. If anything were to happen to their father, Patricia or Otis—knock wood—as long as Shawn was there, they'd be together, and they would work it out. "You're the glue, Shawn."

"Umm...okay."

– – –

Hershel stood about three feet away from his children, still refusing to give them the rest of their letters, because he felt like they didn't deserve them just yet. Maggie and Beth stood to the right of Carol, arms looped together, and Shawn stood to the left of Carol, hands in his pockets.

"She loved and was loved deeply. She will never be forgotten, because we'll be here to remind each other of her. We have our pictures and our memories, and even though one day those may perish, we know one way or another, we will see her again." Carol moved hair out of her mouth as the wind blew at them. "We will smile with her again. Until that day comes, we have her in our hearts and our thoughts, forever showing us and reminding us of what it means to be human."

"I want to thank you, Mom, for being a kick-ass mother," Shawn added, and they laughed a little.

Beth bent down and set fresh flowers down on the grave. "Be at peace." She set a hand on the headstone and stood up.

Maggie placed a hand on her back then pulled a small charm that Annette always had hidden in her jewelry box. It was small golden E, and she didn't know what it was for, but she figured that it was for a child that didn't make it, like Ethan. Perhaps it was Ethan. "This should be with you, Mom." She pulled the grass back by the headstone and arranged it around between the marble and grass.

"Emily." Shawn smiled a little. "My big sister."

Beth and Maggie looked at him.

"She died," Carol answered the questions. "Stillborn like Ethan."

"Every woman in our family has lost her firstborn." Shawn rubbed Carol's shoulder, and she hugged him. "I wish you'd changed that, kid."

"I know."

"I guess it's better that I can't have kids," Beth said, "than to keep losin' them."

"Can we have a group hug?" Shawn asked. "I feel like we need a group hug."

"I sometimes feel the need to kick you in the face. Can I do that?" Maggie teased.

"Don't come near me." He accepted Beth's hug.

Maggie waltzed over to him, punched him in the shoulder, and she hugged him, wrapping an arm around Beth and Carol. She pulled away first. "Too weird." She walked away. "I feel like cameras should be here."

Beth giggled. "I know what you mean." She released him. "How is Sophia, Carol?"

"I don't know. Daryl's been with her." She stepped back from her brother. "But I am making dinner and getting caught up tonight."

"What're you making?" Shawn asked. "Because I may come and eat it. Sasha's been eating some really weird shit, and my gut can't take it anymore."

"Baked chicken, homemade macaroni and cheese and probably greens. I love greens, but they're such a pain to make. Maybe I should make broccoli instead. A little water, a little steam, done."

"Mom's favorite comfort food."

"Yeah." She smiled.

"Save me some. I've been ordering pizza and shoving it down my throat in my car then driving home and telling Sasha I'm not hungry. She's worried about me not eating, but I don't want to tell her the food she's making is gross as hell. She's cry, I'll feel like an ass, and—No, no, I can't do that to her."

"Why don't you buy food and make it before she cooks?" Beth suggested. "That way, she'll feel bad, because you went through the trouble of making dinner for her."

"You're so screwed up! Suggesting I make my poor pregnant wife feel bad!" He smiled. "I love it!"

"I had to do that to Zach. He likes rich food, but I don't." She shrugged. "By the way, Zach's mom wants to come over for the fourth, can you all make it?"

"Isn't it a bit too early?" Maggie squinted at the sun in her eyes, lifting her hand.

"No. We've...been dating for a year now, so...no." She braced herself.

"A year?!" Maggie exclaimed. "And we haven't even met him?"

"What did you think we were going to do?" Shawn demanded. "Embarrass you?"

"Yes." Beth nodded.

"Well, I am honored, because I so would. I have so many stories." He snickered at them.

"Asshole." She sent him a glare then turned to Maggie. "I just wanted him to be mine for a little while. I had plans on lettin' y'all meet, but...Carol came home, and then the accidents and school got in the came. I'm sorry. It just never seemed like the right time."

"Well, there's no better time than the present." Carol smiled. "I'll be there. Wherever there is."

"The farm," Beth looked at her father, "if you'll have us."

Hershel looked at them. "Of course. It's still your home."

She nodded. "Mag?"

"Why not? I have to talk to Glenn about it, but I doubt he'll have any other plans." She stuck her hands in her pockets.

"Shawn?"

"Sure. I've got time. Well, not really, but I'll make time." He pulled out his phone and made a reminder to push that back.

"Annette wanted this," Hershel called to them. "All of us—all of you—together, close. She didn't want you to grow apart like you were."

They didn't say anything.

"Here." He dug the letter out of pocket and handed them each a folded slip of paper. "Your name is one side, and a number's on the other, so go in order."

"Say them aloud?" Maggie asked.

"That's what she wanted. That's what she wrote me." He nodded.

"I'm one, so I'm first." She unfolded it, clearing her throat. "Don't be grieve for me, for now I'm free. I follow the plan God laid for me. I saw His face, I heard His call, I took His hand and left it all."

"I'm two." Beth smoothed the paper out. "I could not stay another day, to love, to laugh, to work or play; tasks left undone must stay that way."

"Three." Shawn read, "And if my parting has left a void then fill it with remembered joy. A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss. Ah yes, these things I, too, shall miss."

"Umm, I'm four." Carol looked over the words. "My life's been full, I've savored much: Good times, good friends, a loved-one's touch. Perhaps my time seemed all too brief—don't shorten yours with undue grief."

"Be not burdened with tears of sorrow; enjoy the sunshine of the morrow." Hershel read. "It's called Remembered Joy."

"It's beautiful." Beth blinked back tears.

"It's very like Mom too." Maggie slipped the paper into her pocket. "I have to run, but I'd like to stop by for dinner. Is that all right, Daddy?"

"Of course, Mag." He kissed her forehead.

She hugged him then turned and ran over to her car.

"I'll ride back with Shawn." Carol hugged her dad then Beth. "Bye. I'll see you later."

"I doubt you guys want to see me later." Shawn walked backwards. "But you will."

Beth rolled her eyes and turned to her dad. "Do you want to stay a while longer?"

"A little while."

"Me too." She smiled and hugged him. "I love you, Daddy."

"I love you too, Bethy."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I understand." He rubbed her back, and they stood in front of Annette's headstone.

"Bethy?"

"Yeah?"

"Sing Paddy Riley for me."

She smiled. "I would love to."

––

Daryl opened the door, Sophia walked into the house, setting her bag on the ground, and they both stopped at the smell. It was heavenly and reminded them of how hungry they were, and how they didn't want pizza or Chinese takeout. They looked over and their jaws almost hit the floor at the sight of the table set, and Carol pulling chicken out of the oven.

"Hey." She smiled widely at them. "Hungry? It just got done."

"Mommy!" Sophia ran over to her so fast Carol barely had time to set the chicken down and toss the mittens off, and Sophia hugged her mom tightly, burying her face in her shoulder.

"Hey, baby girl." She held her so close, lifting her off the ground. She smelled like dirt and freshly mowed grass. Carol smoothed her hair down. "How was your day?"

"It was good. Daddy took me to the park. We played with Butch."

"That sounds like fun. I have to come next time." She reluctantly released her. "You need to wash up."

"Okay. I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere. Please."

"I promise." She kissed her forehead. "Be careful on the stairs. I'll be sending Daryl up there in a minute."

Daryl couldn't take his off of her, and she walked over to him once Sophia was gone. "C...Carol?"

"What? You look like you've seen a ghost." She crossed her arms. "You okay?"

He lunged and tackled her into a big bear hug, she wrapped her arms around his neck, smiling, and he didn't let her go. He held her silently for a long time then he asked so softly she almost didn't hear him, "What happened?"

"Mom happened." She buried her face into his vest, the leather cool from the night air. "It will never be okay that she's gone, but it was never okay for me to shut down because she's gone. I'm so sorry for shutting you out again. I—I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. You let me back in, that's all that matters." He kissed the top of her head. "We'll get through this. We will."

"I love you."

"I love you too." He nuzzled his face into her hair. "Jesus, you feel good." His hands dug into her back, and she let out a small laugh.

"There's a minor about to join us for dinner, so...stop." She pulled back, also reluctantly. "I will make the plates, and you can pour the drinks."

"All right. Lemme wash up first."

"Okay."

– – –

"Nervous?" Carol asked Daryl, his fingers twitching against hers as they waited for Lilly to come into their room.

"A little," he confessed.

"Don't be." Annette was sitting beside the bed. "It'll be fine."

"Yeah, it'll be fine. Pregnant, engaged, and it all happened in less than a week." Carol paled a little. "I'm okay. I really am."

Daryl rested his chin on her knee. "How's this gonna work?"

"Well, the baby grows in a special place inside the mommy's womb," Annette teased.

He sent her a glare. "That ain't what I meant."

"All that matters right now is that you take of each other and this baby," Annette told them. "You can do a lot with love."

"Thanks, Mom." Carol paused, knowing she needed to speak with Daryl privately. "Umm, since Lilly's taking her time, could you give us a minute, Mom?"

"Sure. I will get you something to drink." She collected her purse and left, closing the door behind her.

"Don't be so grouchy." She set her hand in his shaggy hair.

"Just a little tired is all." He shrugged. "A little worried too."

"Why?" She moved his bangs out of his eyes.

"Don't know how good of a father I'll be." He picked at her hospital gown. "My old man's a piece of a shit. I don't wanna be like that to our kid."

"You could never be that way," she assured him. "You're nothing like Mason in all of the ways that count."

He rolled his head to the side to look at her, studying her beautiful face and seeing how confident she was in him. He didn't say anything.

"I'm in love with a man who is kind, selfless, handsome and who would take a bullet if that meant protecting me and our child. I know you'll be here for me through the doctor's appointments, the Lamaze classes, and baby-proofing our house. Once we get a house that is." She smiled at him. "All the way, it's me and you."

He felt her fingers tightening in his hand. "Me and you." He nodded then leaned over and kissed her.

She caressed his cheek. "I love you."

"I love you." He kissed her once more.

"Can you keep the cuteness down? I don't want to cry just yet," Annette teased lightly with Lilly behind her.

"Ha ha ha." Carol playfully glared at her mother. "By my head, please."

The checkup went well, Lilly spoke to Carol, mostly friendly chatting as Lilly was considered a friend. Lilly knew one day she'd be doing this for them, but she never thought it would be so soon. She knew they would do just fine; they were both strong and deeply in love with each other and they clearly loved their unborn child. They had Annette and Hershel to guide them as well.

"All right. Do you want to see your baby?" Lilly divided a look between them.

"There's something to see?" Carol glanced at her mom then back at Lilly.

"Not a lot, but yes, there is something to see." She moved the screen so that Carol and Daryl and Annette could see. "Here it is on the screen." She pointed. "Here is your uterus, and...right here is your baby."

"Oh, my God." Carol couldn't look away.

"Holy shit," Daryl whispered.

Annette held back tears. "Oh, gosh."

"Let's give them a minute." Lilly ushered Annette out of the room.

After they were gone, Daryl glanced at Carol then the screen then back at Carol. "What the hell are we lookin' at?"

"What?" She turned to him. "Don't you see it?"

"No."

"But you said—"

"I know. I lied. I didn't want 'em to think I was a terrible father already." He dropped his head into her stomach. "I can't even see the damn baby!"

"Daryl." She lifted his chin. "Stop."

He met her eyes.

"Pull the screen over here." He did, and she pointed to the screen. "See the peanut-looking thing?"

He nodded.

"That's it. That's our baby."

He narrowed his eyes. "That's it?"

She smiled. "Yes, that's it."

"Well, I saw that!"

She rested her head against his. chuckling. "Well, there it is."

He didn't move his eyes off the screen. "There it is." He held brought their intertwined hands to his chin and kissed her knuckles, and she kissed his hair. "There it is." He couldn't move his eyes off the little blip-looking thing on the screen. Christ, he'd made that. They'd made that. Damn.

––

"Random cluster of stars," Carol said, pointing up to the sky, and Sophia giggled. "I was never one for constellations."

"That one looks like an old man." Sophia pointed to a cluster. "Don't you think?"

"Oh, it does."

After dinner, Daryl had offered to wash the dishes, and Sophia had gone outside, so instead of helping Daryl, she followed Sophia. They were watching the sky, the ground cool on their backs, and the grass was making Carol's back itchy in her backless dress. She didn't mind though. She was glad to be spending time with Sophia. All through dinner, Sophia rushed to tell her about Paige, and Amy's ballet coming up, and how she missed school a little. Carol was going to teach her some French this summer, and Sophia was so excited.

"So, the twenty-ninth is the big day?" Carol inquired, looking over at her daughter.

"Yes. She's playing Juliet." She rested her hands on her stomach. "Is it a good play?"

"I read the book and my school put on a parody of it, but I don't really remember. I doubt you'll be very interested in it, but you're going to cheer my cousin on all the same."

"Good, 'cause—" Sophia yawned sleepily, rubbing at the water that formed in her eyes. "—I wanna go."

"I'll be yawning then too." She smirked at Sophia, who was trying to suppress another yawn.

"Can we give her flowers?"

"Yes. That'd be nice."

She nodded, rubbing her eye again.

"It seems like you need to go to bed, baby." Carol checked her watch. "Oh, shoot. It's way your past your bedtime."

"But it's summer," she whined.

"Yes, but you're still five." Carol pushed herself up. "When you're ten, you can stay up until ten."

She groaned.

"C'mon." Carol helped her up and led her inside. "She's going to bed, so say good night."

He dried his hands and bent down. "Good night, Sophia."

"Night, Daddy." She hugged him and yawned again.

Carol took her upstairs, returning Dee Dee to Sophia along with her kitten as she brushed her teeth, and she tucked her in. "Do you want anything?"

"No."

"No story?"

"Nu-uh." She rubbed her eye.

"All righty. I'll just go then."

"Wait, no! I want a kiss good night."

Carol laughed and planted kisses on Sophia's cheeks and forehead, Sophia then giggled and squirmed away. "Is that enough? Huh?" She tickled her side, and Sophia giggled even laughter, begging her to stop. "Fine." She moved hair from her face. "Good night, sweetheart."

"Hey, Mommy?"

"Yes?" She met her daughter's eyes.

"When Grandma died, where did she go? Dad said to ask you when you felt better, and Auntie Maggie and Beth said she was in Heaven." She rubbed her eye. "Is she with Ethan?"

"Grandma..." She swallowed. "Yes, that's exactly where Grandma is. She's...in Heaven with Ethan and my dad. She's at peace, watching over us."

"I miss her."

"I do too, baby, but...it was her time. She was happy and loved and...we need to remember the joy we felt when we were all together, that way she'll be in our hearts forever."

"I love you, Mommy."

"I love you too, Sophia." She tucked the blankets around her. "Now, go to sleep. We can talk more about this tomorrow."

"Mmm'kay. Good night."

She placed one more kiss to Sophia's forehead then turned the nightlight on, so she wouldn't be in complete darkness, because Carol was closing the door, not leaving it cracked. She headed down the hall, trying to scratch her back, and she just gave up and decided to ask Daryl if he would.

"Is that everything?" She joined him in the kitchen.

"Yeah, put the food away too."

"Well, thank you." She smile. "I appreciate that."

"I'll leave the table out, just put it to the side for tomorrow night."

"We could use it as a desk," Carol suggested, "for when I teach Sophia French. Or we can buy a wooden one, because I hate that table."

"We could do that, but I still gotta finish payin' for the pipes."

"It was an idea." She scratched her ear. "I need to speak with Jacqui tomorrow."

He nodded.

"Then I have to buy a gift for Sasha's shower. I think I'll get her diapers. She'll never have too many diapers, especially with twins."

"Carol, can we not talk 'bout diapers?"

"Right. I'm sorry. I'm making a to-do list in my head." She met his eyes. "What do you want to talk about?"

He set the dishrag on the island then walked around it to her, grasping her hips and pulling her flush again him. Her breath left her in a whoosh of surprise from the quick movement, her heart racing in her chest, and she met his smoldering eyes, lowering her gaze as his bit his bottom lip while looking at her lips. She narrowed her eyes at him, his hands slid up her body to cup her cheeks and he slowly leaned in and kissed her.

It was the sweetest of kisses, and it wasn't pushing. She knew he would be satisfied by just kissing her and holding her tonight, but she wouldn't be. She wanted him. She didn't want to waste another second of her time with him. She wanted to make love to him tonight. She wanted his scent on her when she woke up, and she needed him, so she opened her mouth to his, slipping her hands into his hair.

His hands drifted down, and he gripped her ass through her dress then he bent down and picked her up. She didn't stop kissing him as he did so, simply locked her thighs around his hips. She felt him carrying her upstairs, and soon enough they were in their bedroom, the door shut.

He lied her down on the bed, gasping the hem of her dress in his hand, slowing pushing it up, not to remove it, but to rub the material over the sensitive skin of her inner thigh. She whimpered softly, her legs shifting between his as he hand moved up her thigh, the cool material against her skin, and he broke the kiss. He trailed kisses down her neck and collarbone, his thumbs tugging the straps to her dress down, dipping his tongue into her bra.

He kissed her once more then slid the dress down her arms, her hips and her ankles, tossing it to the floor. He removed his own shirt then paused. He heard a scratching at the door and groaned. "Damn cat."

"I'll get her." Carol slid off the bed, grabbing the shirt he had just discarded and slipped it on, opening the door. "No, no, no. Out, Bella." She scooped her up and carried her down the hall, placing her back on Sophia's bed. "Stay," she whispered. "Play dumb and stop opening the doors."

She returned to their bedroom, seeing Daryl's broad shoulders first, and she bit her lip. She walked over to him and slid her arms around his waist, placing kisses over his scars, very like he had done for her what felt like so long ago. He had tensed when her lips touched his back, but he slowly loosened up as her lips moved from scar to scar, and he smiled a little, setting his hand over hers.

She rested her forehead against his shoulder blade. "I want tonight to be slow. Is that all right?"

"Depends. How slow?"

She smirked. "Maybe slow wasn't the right word. I want to night to be...long." She walked around him to face him. "I want you to kiss every inch of your body, and I want you to do the same to me. I wanna feel you everywhere."

"Everywhere?" He lifted his hand and touched her cheek.

"Everywhere." She nodded, leaning into his touch, kissing his palm. She looked at him as she brought his thumb to her mouth, her tongue running over his thumb once before she pulled it into her mouth and softly sucked on it. Her eyes closed as he sucked in a breath through his teeth, and he groaned when she nibbled on the side of his thumb.

She withdrew his thumb and moved to his index finger then his middle finger and his ring finger and pinkie. She leaned up and kissed him once on the mouth, her hands undoing his belt. "I also am in control tonight." She yanked it out of the loops, dropping it to the floor. She set her hand on his breast, over the tattoo there, feeling his heart beating strongly in his chest. She placed a kiss there, her tongue flicking out to ran across his nipple. She heard him inhale sharply, and she moved to his other breast, kissing it as well. She ran her hands down his long, hard torso then trailed kisses down his sternum all the way down to his belly button.

"Carol." His voice was tight.

"I said everywhere," she reminded him, unbuttoning his pants and tugging down the zipper, looking up at him through her long eyelashes. "I don't bite."

"Tsh."

"Expect when I do." She pulled his pants down his hips, her fingertips grazing over his legs.

He gripped her elbow and made her stand, she searched his eyes, and he stepped out of his jeans. "You first."

"What?" She shook her head. "Daryl, I want you—"

"Yeah, me too. That's why I'm goin' first. I wanna show you what you mean to me. I've waited long enough, don't you think?"

"One condition."

"Name it."

She wrapped her arms around his neck, grasping the hairs at the base of his neck, and she met his eyes. "Make me sore, because I want to remember tonight all day tomorrow."

He kissed her. "That's a promise."

– – –

Amy came back to the apartment with groceries, setting them on the table along with her purse and keys, and she removed her jacket. She tossed it onto the table, running her hands through her hair, still not sure how she felt about anything lately. She saw movement in the corner of her eye, heard a strained groan and looked over then blinked and stared, not sure if she was repulsed or turned on.

Merle was leaning against the wall, stroking himself, his tongue running along the inside of his cheek, and he motioned for her with his other hand. She wasn't sure, but she walked over to him anyway. "Been missin' you." He grabbed her hips and brought them flush against his. "Where'd you go?"

He seriously wanted to talk right now? With his erection poking her? "U—uh to the store." She couldn't gather her thoughts. "I left a...a note on the...uh...on the fridge."

"Didn't check it." He smirked. "What?"

"What what?" She met his eyes.

"You're blushin'."

"Am I?" She knew she was.

He chuckled. "So shy. After last night, I don't there's nothin' I ain't seen."

"Well, last night was...last night."

He leaned over to whisper in her ear. "You can't tell me you didn't enjoy it."

"I—" Between his scent and his erection, she was surprised she was able to speak at all. Her body was burning, and she wanted nothing more than to redo last night, all of it. She knew it was a bad idea. She knew it was foolish, but he was pushing his hips into hers, teasing her, and she couldn't breathe. Her voice was stuck in her throat, and she wasn't able to speak in that moment.

"I what?" he pressed, not letting her move.

She was panting now, gripping his sleeves with her hands, her eyes closed tightly. "Want you. I—want—you." Her words were breathy and desperate. She sounded so aroused, and she knew he heard it. She'd only been with one other man before him—Tomas didn't count—and nobody was Merle. What he did to her, what he made her feel... She had never known her body was capable of feeling like that. She didn't know how good it could feel. She wanted him so badly. He wasn't even really doing anything, and her core was starting to clench.

He chuckled again, and she moaned softly, the sound going directly to her core. "You're a responsive little thing." He watched as she bit her lip. "Figured you a virgin. Who beat me to it?"

She couldn't answer, not that he wanted an answer.

"Boy didn't treat you like he should." His thumbs pressed into her hip, gently rubbing. "He didn't give you want you needed."

She managed to shake her head no.

"Do you want me?" He lifted his hand to her mouth, freeing her lip. "Tell me, sugar."

"Yes."

"Where?"

"What?" She opened her eyes.

"Where do you want me?"

She blushed. Did he want her to say it? Of course he did. Why else would he have say to tell him? "Umm, I—I want...want you—"

He grasped her crotch, she yelped in surprise, and he buried his nose in her hair. "Here?" She gripped his sleeves even more as he rubbed her through her jeans, and she nodded. "I thought so." He could practically feel the heat of her arousal. "Get your shot?"

"Yes."

"Good." He moved his hand much to her disappointment. "Take those off." He gestured to her pants.

She removed her tennis shoes and socks—that he graciously bought for her—unbuckled her jeans and belt—he bought those too—shimming them down her thighs, and he titled his head. She kicked them away. She started for her panties, but he shook his head. She touched her top, and he nodded. She lifted it up, dropping it to the floor, leaving her in the pale blue lace underclothes.

"Go and get comfortable on the bed, sugar."

She turned and walked over to bed, lying down. She turned, finding Merle just watching her, lighting up a cigarette, and she felt a little self-conscious. She studied the ceiling as he eyed her, and he called to her, making her look at him. She met his eyes.

"Cut the shy shit." His eyes were annoyed.

She was trying. She wasn't used to the full attention Merle gave her. Boys didn't really look at her when she was in school, and even if they did, her parents would never allow her to date. Ugh, screw them. "Make me," she challenged.

He set the cigarette down and removed his pants, she wiggled back on the bed, and he grabbed the band of her panties, yanking them off. He slammed into her without warning, she cried out, and he pinned her hands down. He groaned at how wet she was. "My type of girl." He chuckled. "So hot and tight and slick. Only for me." He moved out and slammed back into her.

"Yes," she moaned.

He began bucking into her again and again, fulling her completely, her hips met his thrust for delicious thrust in a heady pace. He felt her fingernails digging into his hands, and he groaned at the moans she let out. Damn, that sound drove him mad. He didn't know why, but he couldn't get enough of that noise, that soft, breathy sound. He never wanted to admit he enjoyed fucking her, and not just for himself. He liked the way her lips parts when she moaned, how her eyes closed when he eased in and out, and he never got enough of the feel of her clenching around him.

He reached down inside of her, freeing one of her hands, and he found that spot that he knew all too well, and the sound she made nearly made him come. Her free hand clutched his sleeve by his shoulder, her back arched off the bed as she came, calling his name in such a way that he climaxed.

––

They were both completely naked on his bed, a sickeningly warm breeze blew in from the open window, and she sat on his lap. She kissed his shoulder, his hands ran down her body, and he kissed her neck softly, drifting down toward her collarbone. He shrugged his shoulder, and she stopped kissing it as he captured her nipple in his mouth, sucking the taut bud between his teeth with a calm precision that left her dizzy.

His hand slid down her flawless pale skin, cupping her, and she whimpered, her fingers tangling in his soft curls. He slid his thumb inside of her, stroking her leisurely, and she moaned. He released her nipple, swallowing the next moan with his mouth. He kissed her deeply, his tongue coaxing hers, and she loved it.

He pulled back, removing his thumb from her, and she glared at him for that. He chuckled, bringing his thumb to his mouth, tasting her. He arched his brow at her, and she bit her bottom lip, shifting on his lap, and he groaned. She didn't apologize, just moving his hand and kissing him, and he shifted so they were lying on their sides. He grazed his hand down her side and hip, and he slipped two fingers inside of her.

She moaned into his mouth, her hips thrusting into his hand, and he chuckled again. She moved her hand from her neck and grasped him, making him groan. She smirked against his mouth

He kept one palm flat on the small of her back to keep her close to him, applying gentle pressure as he hooked one of his finger just right, working her in a way only Merle could...

Merle? What the hell?

Amy shot up in bed, panting and her body burning for release as if Merle was right there only a moment ago, cupping and stroking her. She pushed hair out of her face. "Christ." She was more than awake right now, so she got out of bed and shook her head. "What the hell?"

That was the most action she'd gotten in months. It was so damn vivid. She could smell him and feel him against her, kissing her. Dear God, that man fingers inside of her... "No, no, no, no!" She walked to the bathroom and turned the cold water on, leaning against the counter, the cool marble-top sink making her skin seem ten times hotter. She looked herself over, wondering why the hell this kept happening?

Just last night she'd practically came to a memory of them doing it at his friend's birthday party. They'd met up in the closet, and that was definitely one of their best times together. She could barely walk when he was done with her. What she would've give to feel that way again, but not with Merle. She needed a date. There had to be some guy out there that was she was attracted to. Maybe Andrea knew someone.

She splashed cold water onto her face, rubbing a wet hand to the back of her neck. She needed to go on a jog. She was awake, and the air might do her some good. "Ugh." She turned the water off and checked the time. It was later than she thought, it was going on six and Andrea might be up at this hour. She hoped Andrea was up.

She walked down to the hall, checking in on Paige, who was sleeping soundlessly, and she continued to the kitchen, finding Andrea making coffee. "Thank God!" She ran over to her. "I need you."

"Jesus!" Andrea jumped, nearly dropping her breakfast down her white blouse, and she glared. "Good morning to you too."

"Hi. Morning. I need your help."

"With what exactly?" She stepped away from her hyper little sister, placing the bowl of fresh fruit down and sitting on a stool.

"I need a date. Do you know any guys that I may be interested in?"

"Actually, I might."

"If you say Shane, I will kill you."

"No. There's a really cute guy at my office. He's your type and about your age. I find him annoying, but that's just me." She crossed her legs. "His name is Mike. Well, Michael."

"Great! Thanks!" She hugged her. "I'm going to change and go for a jog."

"Don't you want to know more about him?"

"Why would I—? I—I mean, I'll wait until the dinner. I like surprises." She smiled showing her teeth then fled to her room, not liking the way Andrea was eying her. Smooth, Amy, so smooth. Who cares? She had a date! And she's a horrible person, because this guy could be really great and she only wanted sex from him. Oh, well. He'll live.

––

"I love you." Carol hugged Jacqui. "You're the best. Thank you so, so much!"

"This is what family's for." She smiled. "Besides, I understand. Losing Annette's been hard on us all."

She smiled back at her. "Still, thank you."

She nodded. "So, how are you girls doing?"

"It's...a little awkward still, but things are going back to how they were. Mom's words really helped us. And Shawn's too. Daddy's happier, I can tell. He's...smiling more, and it's good for us to be around each other."

That day when Maggie suddenly left the cemetery, she went to write down Remembered Joy and frame it. All of them had signed it with different colored ink pens, all bright, all lively, and it hung right below her picture. People left them flowers still, and some of the older customers talk about Annette to her, and hearing how their mom had helped them was helping her to heal. It was really great to be around all of these people, and no one had a bad thing to say about her. It was truly amazing.

"All right." Carol looked over the books as Jacqui and the new girl, Molly, worked. She made a note to purchase more coffee and more of that flour Mom had used to make those little cakes. People were just eating them up, and she wanted to keep them on the menu. She wanted this place to be a constant reminder of Annette to the people who knew her. She'd hung a sign above the door yesterday that read: Annette's Kitchen. She was the one who created every sweet item after all.

"Hey." Daryl walked over to her and kissed her briefly. "You busy?"

"Not too busy for you. What's up?"

"It's my break, figured I'd come see you."

She glanced out at the two people in the Greene Leaf, apart from Jacqui and Molly, and she met his eyes. "Could you help me? I picked up some more cups, and I need helping carrying them in."

They went out the back door to where her car was parked, he grabbed the boxes and carried them in while she held the door open. She led him into the very back where the extra plates and utensils were kept, closing the door behind them. She moved aside a few empty boxes, and she broke them down while he put the boxes down gently. She tossed the now broken down boxes into the recycle bin like Beth insisted they do.

"That all?"

Their gazes met, a silence filled the space between them, then she jumped up and linked her legs around his hips, kissing him fervently. He pushed her back against the wall directly behind her, his hands under her shirt, and their heated breathing fill the storage room, which had conveniently thick walls.

––

Andrea looked up from her work as Amy walked in, smiling a little. "How was your date?"

"I like him." She hated him. He was annoying, so freaking annoying! He wanted to do everything for her, from ordering her food to buttoning her jacket "properly". For the love of God, he even forced her talk about how good his hair looked, not to mention he told her how to sit and how to eat soup. "I'm going out with him tomorrow night." If she didn't kill him first.

"Well, damn. Now he'll bother me about you. Great." She smirked teasingly.

"Your life is so complicated."

"It is."

She shook her head and pointed down the hall. "Is Paige in bed?"

"Yes."

"Okay. I'm gonna kiss her good night then hit the sack. Night."

"Good night."

Amy made her way to Paige's room and kissed her forehead gently, and Paige stirred. "No, sweetie, go back to sleep." She kept her voice soft.

Her eyes met her mom's. "You smell like cologne." She buried her nose in her blanket. "It's nasty."

Yes, it was. Nasty and cheap, and he didn't even do anything, but kiss her good night. Not that well, she might add. "Well, I'm going to take a shower. Do you want Andrea to read you a bedtime story?"

"I want you to."

Amy hesitated. If she read to Paige, she would fall asleep against her, and Amy would sleep in here so she wouldn't wake her up. She'd been dreaming about Merle for the past four nights, and she didn't want Paige to hear anything she might say. However she hadn't spent much time with Paige since she got the part of Juliet. When she wasn't practicing with the director and entire cast, she was practicing with Fee. She was always so drained when they were done, she just passed out. She rarely saw Paige. She couldn't say no. She just couldn't. "Umm, give me five minutes."

She nodded.

She sped through her shower, cleaning off that sleazeball's cologne, and she dried off, slipping into a nightgown. She pulled her hair up with her hands and let it fall as she peered into Paige's room, discovering her little girl had moved her stuffed animals to the floor so her mom would have room. She entered and crawled into bed. "All right, what shall we read tonight?"

"Actually, I was wondering if you would tell me about my dad." She had hopeful eyes. "I—I just want to know how you met."

Oh, crap. "Paige, I don't think that's a good idea." She didn't want her to know about their past. She was just hoping it would go away, but it kept coming back—first in dreams and now from Paige. Great. If she talked about him before bed, she most definitely would dream about him.

"Pretty please? I never ask about him!"

She blew out a sigh and sank down. "All right." She put her arms around Paige. "Close your eyes." Amy thought of the first time they met. "I was alone when I met Merle. I had no place to live, no clothes, no shoes even. It was cold that night, and the ground was wet from the rain that came down earlier that day; so there I stood, shaking from the cold and crying about my situation."

Paige nodded, closing her eyes and gripping her stuffed hippo.

"He came over to me and asked me what was wrong. I told him, and he pointed out my lack of shoes and jacket, so he took his off and gave them to me."

"How sweet," she sleepily murmured.

"Yeah, it was." She smiled a little. "He took me to get something to drink, and we talked for hours. He was so...tired that I helped him to back his apartment, and I just stayed over. In the morning, he didn't kick me out, and I stayed him." She smoothed Paige's hair down. "He was sweet sometimes, and he always came for me, even when he was trying to push me away. He was very impulsive, and sometimes that got us into trouble, but he was smooth talker, which got us out of trouble mostly."

"...mmm..." Paige drifted off.

She softly spoke of Merle to herself mostly as Paige was out cold, and she remembered all of their good times. They had so few bad times, but when they were bad, they were hell. She hated when they were fighting, because twice her life was almost taken. The first time was caused by Tomas and his assholes. They were arguing, and Merle had grabbed her, and she screamed loudly. She didn't mean to, she wasn't even scared, but it just came out. Tomas wanted to protect her, but nearly shot her, because the asshole couldn't aim for shit. Merle hit him with a two-by-four, and Amy got to hit Andrew with a pipe. They had hot sex after that too.

God! She ran a hand through her hair. That was it. She was going to get laid, if she had to wear nothing but a trench coat to Michael's place.

––

"One more time," Carol suggested. "Bonjour."

"Bonjour," Sophia repeated, better than last time.

"Co—"

A thud from upstairs interrupted them, they exchanged glances then hurried upstairs. They found the light to the bathroom on, and Daryl was cursing, so Carol made Sophia stay back. She saw Bella on the sink, her tail slicing through the air, and Daryl was wiping something wet off his shirt.

"Is...everything okay?"

"Damn devil cat." He groaned. "You know how she likes when you turn the water on for her?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I did that, and she—" he stopped. "Screw it. It don't matter. It's just water." He removed his shirt and tossed it into the laundry basket. "Shit, I interrupted your French, didn't I?"

"Only a little." She shrugged. "It doesn't matter either. We'll probably end up watching a movie in about ten minutes."

"Sounds invitin'. What movie?"

"Something of hers, so nothing you want to see." She stepped into the bathroom to pet Bella. "Look, Daryl, about the fourth—"

"I just don't wanna met him. Or her."

"But they'll be family one day. Knowing Beth, she'll probably marry the guy, so you'll have to deal with them sooner or later."

He sighed. "Fine, but only for an hour."

"Two. Please?"

He glared. "Fine."

She leaned up and kissed him. "I would suggest sneaking off to the barn, but not this time of the month."

"I'll be down in a minute. Gotta get a new shirt. Exercise the demon with fur."

She giggled. "She's not evil. She just...she's twitchy." She then pointed behind him to the shirt hanging over the shower from that morning.

"Evil." He put the shirt on.

She kissed him again. "I love you."

"I know. You told me at lunch."

She smacked his arm lightly. "Shut up and let me love you."

"Go love Karen. You're supposed to call her, tell her 'bout Annette."

"I tried. She didn't pick up. Neither did Noah, so tomorrow I will try again." She hoped nothing was wrong. She knew Karen wasn't pregnant, because she would've found a way to tell Carol. She wondered how everything was with Milton and Noah and her grandmother. She didn't want Ed to do anything to them, not that he would. He was a wife beater, not a killer or kidnaper. She hoped he wasn't.

"Speaking of call, how's Merle?"

"He's all right."

"Has he called since last week?"

He shook his head.

"I'm sure he'll call." She gripped his hand. "It'll be all right. It took too long for us to be a family, and I won't let anyone take away any of her family. Merle's in our family, and I won't let him go anywhere."

He half-smiled at her effort.

"That's all I get? I promise to basically force a man two times bigger than me to stay with us, and I can't even g—"

He shut her up by kissing her, and he slipped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer. She pushed up on the tips of her toes, her fingers curling into his hair, and they heard a sound in the doorway, a giggling.

They looked over and found Sophia standing in the doorway, Carol blushed a little, and Daryl sent Sophia a playful glare.

"Caught red-handed. You gotta pay the price." He reached for her, she squealed and took off running down the hall, and he raced after her.

Carol stood there for a minute, hearing a giggled no then Daryl walked with Sophia over his shoulder, and she laughed, covering her hand with her mouth as he took her downstairs to make her "pay the price". Carol followed and discovered the "price" was making her fork over two of her half of her Kit-Kat.

"Where's mine?" Carol arched a brow. Sophia ate the rest of hers quickly, Daryl had already eaten his, and she pursed her lips, narrowing her eyes. "Really? I don't get any?"

"Close your eyes," he told Sophia.

She did.

He went over to Carol and gave her an open-mouth kissing, holding her in his arms, and she could taste the Kit-Kat on his tongue. He pulled back, knowing his daughter wouldn't keep her eyes closed long.

"There it is," Carol whispered.

He placed his forehead on hers. "There it is."

––

She rolled over, feeling his hand cupping her breast, and his teeth nibbled on her ear. She opened her eyes as she moaned his name, but instead of seeing his apartment, she saw the curtains to Paige's room. She glanced over and found an empty space beside her. Thank God.

She sat up, running a hand over her face.

"You're awake." Andrea hovered in the doorway.

"Where's Paige?"

"Painting in the living room away from you and your moans."

"Oh, God." She turned blood red. "Did she—?"

"No, she woke up hungry and found me in the kitchen. I lent her my iPod, but I'm scarred."

"I am so sorry." She dashed out of Paige's room and sought refuge in hers, but of course Andrea followed her. "Can I die of embarrassment alone?"

"You were moaning Merle's name."

"No, I wasn't!" She buried her face into her blouse.

"Yes, you were. Very heatedly, I might add." She was amused. "You want Merle."

"Okay, you know what? I can fit out that window."

"Amy, I'm not judging you." She sat down on her bed. "I want to talk about this, because this wasn't the first time, was it?"

"No." She sighed. "I keep...dreaming about him. His lips, his scent, his body. It always so genuine."

"Have you done this before? Dreamed about him, I mean."

"Yes." She crossed her arms. "It's not because I haven't been with a man in months. It's not because I miss him. I don't know what it is."

"Did you love him?"

"I was a teenager, so I thought I loved him yes, but I don't know for sure," she admitted for the first time ever.

"Maybe you need to talk to him." She paused. "Or have sex with him."

"Andrea." She glared daggers at her sister.

"I'm serious. It's what your subconscious is telling you."

"Or that I need sex in general, and since Merle was the last person I was with, so that's all my mind has to show me." She clicked her tongue against her teeth. "I bet that's it."

"That's why you wanted my help. You just want to use Mike for sex."

"No! No, that's not why—" Andrea arched her brow. "Yes. Yes, that's my plan."

"That's not right, Amy. He may be an annoying asshole who I happily throw into oncoming traffic, but you shouldn't use him like that." She stood up, shaking her head. "Besides from what I hear, he's not that great."

"What happened to no judgment?"

"What happened to being a good person?" Andrea shot back. "Go buy a vibrator like a normal woman."

She shuddered. "What I need is something only another living person can give me."

"Fine, but I don't want another niece or nephew for quite some time."

"That is not what I meant! Out of my room, go!"

– – –

Amy wandered aimlessly after screwing up her date with Mike. She didn't even care at this point. She just wanted a nice, glass of something powerful enough to knock her out. She was actually welcoming her dreams tonight.

"Rough night?" a familiar voice called to her.

She stopped and spun around, finding Merle Dixon behind her. He wore a black t-shirt with a black button-down shirt over it and tan cargo pants. It was the most decent he's ever looked. Why did he look so decent? What was he doing there? Following her? Bumping into her accidentally? Did he want to see Paige? Why was he out in the open? He was supposed to be in hiding, just in case they did manage to find his DNA at the crime scene.

She finally spoke, "What are you doing here? I thought you were in hiding!"

"Well damn, tell the world." He glanced around, not really worried about anyone overhearing. "It wasn't me."

"It wasn't?" She frowned. "Who was it?"

"Don't know, don't care." He closed the space between them. "I just know it wasn't me. It's best you don't know who anyway." He didn't exactly want to share who had told him what happened. He still found it hard to believe that asshole spoke to him. Or that he listened.

"All right." She smiled. "Good to know the father of my child isn't a brutal killer."

"Not a killer, no." He looked her over. "You got all dressed up with nowhere to go?"

"I...had a date." She pursed her lips.

"And you ain't stayin' the night?" He was musing, but his tone tight.

"No. I...well, I ruined my chance. Um, walk with me?"

"Sure." He fell into step beside her. "Ruined your chance how?"

"I won't lie. There's no point in lying." She glanced at him. "He was kissing me, pinning me against one of the wall of his house, and...well, I moaned."

"So?"

"I moaned a name..." she trailed off, dropping her eyes.

"What? It wasn't his name?"

"Nope." She crossed her arms. "It was yours."

"Oh." He then blinked. "The hell?"

"Yep." She turned to him. "For the past four nights, I've dreamed about us. Not a relationship, just really great sex, and when I wake up, my body is...left wanting. I went out with him just for some release, but that didn't happen, because I moaned your name when he was kissing me."

He smirked. "Missin' me?"

"Yes." She met his eyes. "And no."

He chuckled. "C'mon."

They started walking again, the moonlight guiding them, and they talked about nothing in particular. She wasn't mad at him anymore. She knew why he was doing what he was doing, and she felt a little sorry for what he didn't have growing up. She could only hope one day he wouldn't mind someone else helping her raise Paige, being her father figure, because even if he didn't want to be her dad, Merle was innately an exceedingly possessive man. He didn't like to share, and she really didn't want him to hurt any man she married.

"Do you want to get a drink?" Amy asked.

"Sure. We can go to John's."

"No, let's go to my place." She peered at his face. "There's something I want you to taste. You'll like it; I know you will."

He snickered. "Am, did you hear what you just said?"

She smiled. "Yes, and I didn't mean it that way."

She drove him to Andrea's house, knowing Andrea and Paige were spending the night with her parents. Amy didn't want to go, because she had a date, and she didn't want to her parents to ask more questions about the recital. She didn't want to get her hopes up that they were actually coming, but it was the little girl inside that hoped so much. She hated that little girl, but she loved her too.

He gave an impressed whistle at the sight of the house. He hadn't really paid attention last time. He'd gotten a face full of gravel from Maggie tossing him on his ass then Amy chewed him out and his daughter gave him a goodbye hug. He'd repressed the memory, but it was a nice place. Andrea made good money. Shit, he could fit everything he'd ever owned in one corner of this place.

"You like it?" She tucked hair behind her ear.

"Yeah. It's nice."

"Andrea has good taste."

"Guess she does." He closed the door. "Where's the little one?"

"At my parents'." She set her purse on the couch then removed her shoes. "Lock that, please."

He flicked the lock. "So, until you screwed up, how the date goin'?"

She groaned, grabbing two glasses from the cabinet and dropped two pieces of ice into hers. "That guy was an asshole. Have a seat anywhere." She went over to the collection of liquor Andrea had, finding the Scotch that Dad had sent her. "I would hit him with my car then back up just to hit him again."

He sniggered. "Was he treatin' you right?"

"No. He was so dominating, and not that great of a kisser. His tongue on my neck was very like a dead fish. I'm surprised I moaned at all." She was so desperate for a shag his crappy kissing didn't turn her off. Wow, how sad.

Merle had a seat on the couch, propping his foot up on the table. "Y'all comfortable here?"

"Yeah." She filled the glasses a little over halfway and closed the bottle. "Paige loves it here. She loves her room, although she sneaks into my room from time to time, but not so much anymore. I think she likes having an entire bed to herself, because, as you know, I am a blanket hog."

"Hog don't cover how much you wanted the damn blanket." He met her eyes. "Even when after I got you..." he dropped off, not wanting to finish and not because he didn't want to. Damn, how long had it been for him? It'd been a little under a month or something. Shit.

She saw the look in his eye and imagined him grabbing her and taking her against the fridge, thrusting into her so hard that the items inside fell over. Well, if she wasn't hot enough before. Good Lord. She cleared her throat. "That easel in the corner is hers. She paints the bushes outside and birds."

"She paints?"

"All the time. When the paint doesn't blur together, they're really quite good." She joined him on the couch. "Here."

He accepted the glass. "Since when you can hold liquor?"

"Since never, but if I pass out, you can carry me to my room." And her dreams may be longer. "Anyway, I trust you entirely, Merle."

"Your mistake." He took a drink of his. "Damn, that's real good."

"My dad knows a man...Umm, Tom, I think. He has some family distillery that he owns, and he sends his best whiskey and Scotch and such to my father for holidays and birthdays. My dad gives some to Andrea, because Tom gives a few to Dale as well." She pulled her legs in.

"Whiskey?"

"Andrea finished it off last night." She took a drink from her glass.

"That's my luck." He finished what was left in his glass. "When do seconds come in?"

She smirked and took his cup, setting hers on the coffee table. "I don't know." She refilled his glass. "Probably on Thanksgiving." She held it out. "What, are you going to come and join my family?"

"Tsh, cute." He took the glass. "So...how's Paige been?"

"She's out of school for the summer, so she's be with my parents quite a lot. They want to catch up on the past five years, you know? It's really sweet of them, and Paige has really gotten close to them. The only downside is I have to remind them not to spoil her, but she's their first grandchild, so they ignore me." She crossed her legs. "She came home the other day with a gold ring that had two leaves and a diamond about the size of a teardrop in the middle. She's five; she shouldn't have anything with a diamond in it. Earrings for special occasions, that's fine, because she won't wear them all the time; but not a ring, not something she could lose easily. Beside, she'll outgrow the damn thing in a few years anyway."

He dropped his eyes to the substance in the glass. "Makin' up for lost time... Er, with you too?"

"They're trying, but Dad just wants me to go to college." She ran a hand through her hair. "He wants to buy me a house and a new car and give me stipend. I don't want that. After all these years of struggling, I know it's stupid for me to say no, but I don't want them to think I came back just for their money. I want them to know that I came back, because I missed them."

"Thought you hated them."

"Still missed them," she murmured, taking a drink from her glass.

He glanced at her. "How have you been, Am? Aside from bein' a dumbass."

"Ha ha, screw you." He grinned. "I've been great actually. I got the part of Juliet." She grinned happily back at him. "And I made up with my family, in case you didn't notice."

"See, I woulda never known unless you told me." She giggled. "I knew 'bout the ballet thing already."

"Who the hell is your informant? Seriously, he's killing my joy over here."

"Daryl told me when I called him last week."

"Oh, you spoke to Daryl? That's good."

"Just don't want him to worry 'bout me. I ain't worth it. Now, his woman and kid are."

"Daryl will never not worry about you. You're his brother, and he loves you."

"His mistake." He drank from his glass.

"It's not a mistake to love someone, but it is a mistake to think someone loved you." She picked up her glass and drank from it, crossing her legs.

"Sure you should be drinkin'?" He arched a brow at her.

"Yes." She rolled her eyes at him. "How was your...hiding?"

"Borin' as shit. Slept mostly. There wasn't much else to do." He rolled his glass between his hands, minding the remaining liquid.

She leaned back against the arm of the couch, her feet on the cushion almost by Merle's thigh. "How do you do it?"

"Do what?" He glanced at her.

"Date." She studied the ice in her cup. "You're the only man I've ever really been with, so I have no idea what else there is. I didn't date in high school, because my parents didn't let me. I was too young, I guess." She sighed. "I can't even go on a date when all I want from the guy is sex without screwing it up. What the hell's wrong with me?"

"There ain't nothin' wrong with you."

Tears formed in her eyes, and she tried hard not to cry. "I wasn't even interested in the guy, and it still didn't work out. I know the whole moan thing, but still. The first date wasn't all that fantastic." She pursed her lips. "God, I'm sorry. I didn't—I'm sorry." She shook her head. "I didn't mean to start blubbering on you." Now she's emotional and horny, great. That's the goal of many.

He took her drink and finished it, sitting it on the table.

"Hey!"

"You don't need that."

"Who died and named you my owner?"

"Am, you know you don't."

"I want it, though." She blew air out, crossing her arms. "Maybe I should listen to Andrea."

"What does big sis say?" He looked at her. "Apart from drainin' me of all my money and pressin' charges." He finished off his drink.

"She thinks I should buy a vibrator."

"Jesus!" He chocked on his drink.

She giggled. "Bad timing."

"You think?" He cleared his throat.

She couldn't help the smile. "I just... I want a warm body next to mine, you know? I like feeling a man's weight on me. Expect Tomas. I could've lived a thousand lives without that."

"Worst thirty seconds of your life?"

She snorted. "Try ten." She cringed. "I need to repress that memory again. I'm starting to remember."

He chuckled.

"Okay...it's gone." She scratched her cheek. "Mmm...maybe I should eat my weight in brownies." She then frowned. "No, Fee would kill me. He already put me on a diet."

"What? And who the hell is Fee?"

"My partner, Felix. He has me on this diet, and it actually working. I'm more alert in the morning, I have more energy, and I've lost four pounds this week. Oh, I have slight abs from going to the gym as well. They're forming, otherwise I would show you." Forming? Yeah, right.

"You don't need to go on a diet."

"Not anymore."

He looked her over. "That new?"

"The outfit?" He gave a nod. "No. Well, yes. Andrea let me have it, so it's new to my wardrobe. Heh, I call it an 'easy access' dress."

His brows furrowed.

"'Cause of the no sleeves, easy to reach zipper."

"Damn, you do need to get laid."

"Are you offering?" she teased, picking at her black thigh high stalkings.

He met her eyes. "Get over here."

She stopped picking, searched his eyes for a solid minute then climbed onto his lap, straddling him. She kissed him, their teeth clashing, and he chuckled softly at her eagerness. She tilted her head and kissed him again, slipping her fingers into his hair, and his hands splayed on her back, opening his mouth to hers, her mouth tasting of Scotch.

His lips were so soft, and she was feeling dizzy from his kisses, her heart racing, and she realized then she didn't feel anything like this when Mike kissed her. She didn't continue think about it as his hands gripped her ass, his fingers flexing, and she moaned into his mouth, her hands moving to his neck, her thumbs pressing into it. She savored his mouth, the curve of his lips, the feel of his rough tongue, and she almost didn't care at her lungs screaming at her for air.

He broke the kiss, breathing heavily. "Jesus, darlin'."

She let out a chuckle, her bangs brushing against his forehead. "I'm not sorry." She cupped his cheek, leaned down and kissed him again. "My room's on this floor at the end of the hall to the right," she said against his lips. She kissed him, her hand moving down to his pants, and he moaned as she began to skillfully stroke him through his pants.

He lifted her up, carrying her to the room at the end of the hall to the right. He kicked the door shut with his foot, her mouth never leaving his, and he set her on the floor. He kicked his shoes off, ordering at her, "Get that shit outta your hair." He kissed her neck, and she whimpered softly as his teeth ran down her neck.

She reached up and tugged the pin that held her hair up loose until her hair falling down her shoulders then tossed the pin on the couch a few feet away. He smirked and grabbed her face, kissing her hungrily, his tongue controlling hers. He found the zipper to her dress—easy access, indeed—and yanked it down, her dress pooling at her ankles. He ran his hand down her shoulder blade then followed the path of her spine, causing her to shudder and lean into him. He clutched her ass in both his hands, a rush of her breath entered his mouth, and he swallowed it.

He eased her backwards toward the bed, breaking the lips and meeting her eyes. He ran his thumb over her bottom lip. "So these dreams?"

She bit his thumb, her way of letting him know she wasn't telling.

He smirked. "All right then. I'm pretty good at figurin' you out anyhow." He freed his thumb and gently pushed her onto the bed, titling his head to admire her. She wore a lacy black bra with matching panties and thigh highs. Her tits were so ample, and the bra was practically taunting him, as were the little black laces that hung on her curves. He already knew what was underneath, but the slight hints the lace material provided teased him, aroused him, made him want to rip them off with his teeth and punish her for ever wearing them.

"We're keepin' those on." He pointed to the thigh highs, and she nodded. He lowered himself down on top of her, her hands went to his jeans, and he helped her push them and his boxers down, her own panties following. He kissed her once more.

She swallowed as he slid into her, her lips parting as a soft moan escaped through them, and her hand clutched at his shoulders, closing her eyes. Oh, yes. She didn't care that he was mostly dressed or that they were hanging most off her bed; all that mattered was him inside of her, his hands touching her, his lips on hers. She bit her lip, a feeling of bliss spreading through her from the feel of him inside of her.

He slid one of her legs up to link on his hip at the same time as her hands moved to his back, her fingers gripping the smooth material of his button-down. He withdrew then plunged into her; she moaned from the sharp thrust. He didn't stop, and he barely let her adjust before he plunged back inside. He dove into her, hard and fast, and she knew it was for her. He wanted her to come, as fast as possible so he could take his time with her on round two. With her, he liked to take his time, and he wanted to appreciate her body the way he knew she needed then allow her to do the same for him.

He was rough and fast, almost brutal, and God did she love it. He was the only one who made her feel like this. "Merle!" She bared her teeth, her eyes squeezing shut as she gripped his strong shoulders, her body trembling. He groaned at the feel of her wet and tight and clenching around him as she came, her back arching off the bed, and he kissed her throat, finding his own release.

After a couple minutes, he shifted out of her. "Am?"

She panted softly, holding up a finger, and he bit down on the lifted index finger like she had done to his thumb. She looked at him, wearing a very pleased smirk. "Yeah?"

"We ain't nearly done."

"Good." She kissed him, giving his shirt a tug. "Take this off. I want to touch you."

He smirked. "You can touch me later. Right now, all I wanna do is get you naked and suck on your tits." He gripped her ass, and she squealed, jolting forward. His lips brushed her ear, "That ain't all I'm gonna suck neither."

She closed her eyes at the thoughts coming into her head, shuddering with pleasure, and she nodded.

––

Carol rolled over, groaning when Bella wouldn't move, and she slipped her legs away from the fattening kitten and Sophia. She snuggled against Daryl more, his arms pulling her closer in his sleep, and she turned her head to look at him once more before she went back to sleep. She smiled and kissed the tip of his nose and exhaled softly, adjusting her pillow.

A loud knock on the door caught her attention, and she groaned, hoping they would go away or had the wrong house, but the knocking was impatient and persistent.

"I'll get it." Carol pushed herself up, Daryl tightened his grip for a moment then let her go, but as she crawled off, he kissed her thigh. "Daryl." She nearly fell off the bed, and he chuckled.

"Who's banging on the door?" Sophia groggily moaned.

"I'm getting it." She left the room and padded down the stairs, rubbing her eyes, and she opened the door to find Karen Mamet on the other side. "Karen?"

Her eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, and she looked like she hadn't slept in days. Her hair was messy around her shoulders, and she was shaking. "Carol." Her voice broke, and she threw herself at her best friend, sobbing.

"Karen, what happened?" Carol held her.

"He—They got—" She couldn't speak.

"Shh, shh, it's all right. I'm here." She rubbed her back. "It's all right. Tell me. Slow, breathe."

"Milton's dead!"

––

The other letters will be mentioned in the chapters to come.