It was already evening when Lisbon regained slowly consciousness. She could feel a well-known warm body holding her tightly but lovingly. She could hear the gentle heart beat in his chest and follow his calm breathing. Her head was still in a foggy cloud, only some of her senses seemed to have wakened a bit faster. She shifted a little, which alerted him of her waking state.
"Hey love..." he said smoothly.
She tried to look up but it was still a bit difficult due to the sedative they had given her. She kept her eyes shut and lay still.
"mmm..." was all she could mumbled.
But that was enough for both of them for the moment, acknowledging the presence of the other. Before she could at last speak a decent sentence, it took her some more sleeping and waking times. Jane didn't budge, her body weight partially sprawled on his was definitely reassuring.
"Hey... what happened?" was the only thing she could ask when she'd started to be more alert of her surroundings.
"What do you remember?"
She was still again for a long minute, trying to recall the events of the day. It came back to her quickly and with the memories, rushed back the raw emotions as well. Her breathing started to accelerate, like it did few hours ago.
"Shhh... Calm down, follow my breathing Teresa. Try to relax, everything is fine...", he knew it was far from the truth, but that was not the matter now. She had to relax and avoid the emotions to sink her in unconsciousness again. With the same aim, Lisbon with tight-shut-eyes slowed her breathing as best as she could.
"I'm sorry Love, I didn't mean to cause you more unbearable agitation...", they both knew he was talking about his previous words, the main cause of her blackout. The lump in her throat and her concentration to maintain her breathing, forbid her to answer.
"You know that I love you, no?" he continued, "you know that you mean everything to me and there is no way I could live without you... You know that, don't you?" his voice disappearing in a whisper. She nodded faintly, feeling some tears rolling slowly on her cheek, damping gently his shirt.
"Leaving you for good is not an option, for arriving at that point after the fights, the grieves, the laughter, and all we went through and we shared after so many year... that can't be thrown away..."
He paused taking a big breath, "I understand that living in the present is what keeps you alive and I so wish to be able to only stay at it, but I can't. I can't live the present without looking into the future. Living our life day after day has it can be the last one is a wonderful thing, but I need to know that tomorrow exist and that it promise us everything that make us live today...". Jane stood still again, leaving the words sink.
"... and when I'm talking about tomorrow, I want to see joy, banter, slight fight, everything that belongs to life... But now all I can see is danger, sorrow, hurt and death... I just can't to it anymore, having only that tomorrow's perspective in sight... It spoils our future, but mainly it spoils our present...".
Feeling his chest shaking slightly, she looked up and witnessed wet trails on his face.
No more words were said, remaining only two crying souls hanging to each other in a hospital bed in a quiet, way too quiet room.
NB: I didn't realize how wonderful it could be to receive reviews... I thank all the nice reviewers & followers for your kind words and for encouraging me to continue! And I realize what it takes to write, it's really difficult (inspiration and english, quite a challenge!)... I'll review and follow with good care from now on. Many thank's!