Harue 2: The Joy of Discovery
Present Day
"As you might have imagined, by the time I arrived at Saunders, I'd never set foot inside a tank before," Harue said.
"Was it at all intimidating?" Masae said. "I sometimes if the difficulty of learning tankery, with several roles per crew that are dependent on each other, is why fewer people are interested in doing it."
Harue, with a smile, shook her head.
"It was exciting," Harue said. "I believe the best way to get kids interested in learning something is to remind them of the joy of discovery, and make things interesting for them."
12 years ago
Harue, Nozomi, and two other new Saunders students looked at an M4 Sherman in the school's tankery garage.
Michelle, a third-year at Saunders, supervised the four newcomers. As a result of the influx of new tankery members, some of the senior members of the team had been assigned to command teams of freshmen in order to mentor them.
"So, have you girls given any thought to which positions you might like to fill?" Michelle said.
Harue shrugged, unable to decide.
"I honestly don't know," Harue said. "I mean, they're all unfamiliar to us at this point, right? Do we even know what we might be good at?"
"Maybe you don't," Michelle said. "It's possible you might find out you're better suited to another position down the line, but for now, you should see what interests you. Do you want to shoot the enemies? Do you want to help load the shells that the gunner uses? Do you want to drive the tank? Or do you want to operate the radio? If you know what you want, you'll have a goal that you can work towards."
Harue glanced at her best friend and her two acquaintances, to see if any of them wanted to go first. As she did, she remembered what she had liked about tankery- the sound of the main gun firing, and the shells striking true at the enemy tank. Her doubts remained, but she believed what Michelle had said. Perhaps it was as good a place as any to start.
"I'm interested in the gunner position," Harue said.
Michelle simply nodded, seemingly not judging Harue's answer as right or wrong, perhaps because it would not necessarily be her final answer.
"I'll load," Nozomi said.
"That's a surprisingly mundane task," Harue said.
"It's also one that's important for the tank," Nozomi said. "If no one loads, the tank doesn't fire, right? If I do it well enough, no one will notice anything's wrong and we can continue doing our job as normal, which is good enough for me."
"That's very much like you, Nozomi," Harue said. "You take the important tasks that seem like thankless ones, and strive to do them well."
Harue knew that Nozomi would later adopt this philosophy in her job as part of the support staff at Saunders. She believed her job wasn't as obviously important as that of the teachers, but she did help keep the school running smoothly.
The other two girls, known as Barbara and Nancy, looked at each other.
"I'll drive," Barbara said.
"I suppose that leaves me with the radio," Nancy said. "Not that I mind; it actually sounds pretty interesting."
"So, it's decided, right?" Michelle said, and her subordinates nodded. "All right, then, get into the tank in an orderly fashion and get to your seats. We'll be taking this out for a practice drive."
"Yes, ma'am!" the four girls said. In spite of Saunders' relatively laid back attitude, the students were expected to show respect to their superiors and their senpais, and the same went for many of the school's other clubs with hierarchical structures.
Harue took her seat at the gun, and listened to Michelle give the driver orders to move forward. The school had a course for tanks to run, a winding passage through a hilly area with targets set up on the route. The goal the tanks had was to traverse that path as quickly as possible while also shooting all the targets.
Harue saw the first target, took aim and fired. The shell flew through the air and struck the target, albeit not a bull's eye.
"Not bad for a first shot," Michelle said.
"Thank you, senpai," Harue said. "This is easier than I thought."
The tank continued along its course. The goal was to navigate the obstacle course and score a hit on all the targets as quickly as possible, to judge how well each person did their roles and how they worked together.
As Harue hit the last target on her first shot, she wondered how she'd done.
"Nice work, everyone," Michelle said. "We have the fastest clear time of all the rookie teams."
As Harue's tank headed back, she realized that tankery no longer seemed entirely inaccessible to her. Perhaps if she could do this much, schools like Black Forest were wrong to dismiss people like her. She looked forward to the tournament, in which she could show everyone what she could do.
Present day
Harue looked around the table and saw the three Nishizumi School disciples and Yoshiko looking at her, hardly believing what they had heard.
"So, after a short introduction to the tank, you got placed into one, just like that?" Yoshiko said. "Unbelievable," she commented in English, before switching back to Japanese. "JGSDF trainees spend a great deal of time training before they even get in one."
"Realistically speaking as someone who teaches tankery, high school tankery clubs don't have weeks to do such training, nor do the students who are taking tankery have the patience to do that much studying, Captain Kainou," Masae said. "I'm sure Instructor Chouno has seen evidence of this in the schools she's helped."
"That's correct," Ami said. "But when I was at the Nishizumi School, I did a fair amount of preliminary study before getting in a tank. I felt prepared for it, but my first time didn't quite have that magic that Akado-san described."
"I'm sorry to hear that, Instructor Chouno," Harue said with a sympathetic expression on her face.
"It's alright, Akado-san," Ami said with a reassuring smile. "As I said, getting involved in tankery was not originally my choice, but I believe things turned out for the best. And I did feel prepared once I started doing actual tankery matches."
"You may be right that preparation is best for students of tankery," Harue said. "Not long after we started training, we went to our first tankery battle in the tournament. We were fairly shorthanded, so a lot of the more promising new players, myself included, were sent into the first round of the tournament."
"How did it go?" Masae said, having heard stories of underdogs triumphing and hoping that this would be one such story.
"Not well," Harue said calmly. "We lost in the end. But in spite of that, I look back on this fondly, in some ways, since it was my first effort of sorts."
"What do you mean?" Masae said.
"To make an analogy, my parents still have a picture I drew of my entire family, on display on the refrigerator," Harue said. "The entire family's composed of stick figures, Dad's mustache looks just like his mouth, only it's a brown line instead of a black one, and it's almost impossible to tell whether the family pet, Princess, was a dog or a cat- she was a cat, by the way."
Harue's expression turned nostalgic as she thought of the old times. Princess had been put to sleep not long before Harue left for middle school, as she had been fighting a losing battle with feline leukemia in Harue's last year of elementary school. Her father had started going bald and her mother's hair had begun to gray in recent years. And Harue, whose illustration reflected about how she was half either of her parents' height, was now slightly taller than her mother, while shorter than her father. Any picture she were to draw now would be very different, regardless of the quality or style of her work.
Harue then reached down, under the table, and produced a piece of paper from her bag- a rough but more detailed drawing of her family, done in pencil on a sheet of paper.
"I made an even better version of that sketch while taking the bus here- it took less than five minutes," Harue said. "But my mom liked the first picture better than some of my subsequent works, since I was doing my best, not even thinking of it as an assignment, and I drew something close to my heart- the people who were closest to me."
"Hiroe, who likes drawing as a hobby, felt quite differently," Masae said. "As soon as she finishes one picture, she'll immediately start thinking about how to make one that outdid it in every way she could think of. Of course, she also has the wisdom to enjoy and make the most of that process, even if she mainly draws to pass the time."
"Yes, enjoying the process is important," Harue said. "And telling you my story helped remind me of the time when I was all enthusiasm and no skill, not to mention quite a bit happier."
"So who exactly was your opponent?" Takako said. "I confess I didn't pay much attention to the schools my rivals faced while in high school, but I'd like to know whichgave you a wake-up call."
"Our first opponent that year was St. Gloriana," Harue said. "We thought of them as a bunch of snobs, especially the Black Tea Garden, and believed they looked down on us as uncultured boors and amateurs. Of course, we did acknowledge that they were, for the most part, more skilled than we were. Back then, I and a few others on the team didn't understand how badly our teammates wanted to win against them- or why they thought it was so unlikely that we would do so."
12 years ago
Late in the first round, St. Gloriana's offensive tore through Saunders' lines. In those days, the team was less disciplined, and some of the younger members were panicking in their first taste of real battle. They were not unlike Rabbit Team in that regard, but rather than running away, they stood their ground and fought, albeit ineffectively.
Harue, at the gun of a M4 Sherman, felt adrenaline going through her, but was not consumed by panic. She was there, in the middle of one of those tank battles she had heard before and seen so much about.
Harue noticed Nozomi was performing well, loading with the same speed and grace as she was in practice. Her friend seemed to be enjoying tankery, too, even in this desperate situation, and she was glad for it.
Harue took aim at a nearby Churchill and pulled the trigger, just as she'd practiced. A shot flew through the air, and struck the tank in the main body, just beneath the turret. The white flag raised on the turret, signaling Harue's first kill in the battle.
Harue was elated. She had fired the gun many times before, but this was the first time she'd struck an enemy tank in an actual match, and the first kill she had made for her school. She felt as though she was starting to prove that she was not just another benchwarmer or player brought in due to the team being shorthanded, but an actual member of the team.
"So I can take down some of those tankers after all," Harue thought. "These real matches are fun."
As Harue prepared to take a Crusader in her sights, she heard the roar of a Matilda's cannon off to the side. She noticed that Nozomi, her loader, was not doing anything to load, but then realized why- glancing out the side view port of her tank, she understood why. The flag tank, one of the Fireflies, was sitting still, smoke rising and the white flag raised. A Matilda was parked nearby, its turret pointed at the spot where the smoke was rising. Evidently, the damage had been severe, but since it was on the other side of the tank, Harue could not see it from where she was.
"St. Gloriana wins the round!" the announcer said.
All the tanks that were still in operation halted at once, Harue's included. Even though the tournament had just started, Saunders' participation had come to an end, and the tankers were essentially reduced to being spectators, just like their schoolmates, the rest of the defeated teams thus far, and the public that was watching the matches.
"It's over," Michelle said, resignedly. "My and the third years' last chance to compete has just been lost."
"I'm sorry to hear that, Michelle-senpai," Harue said. "I hope this doesn't come off as insensitive, but it was fun to go out here and fight in tanks, even if we didn't win."
"That's true," Michelle said. "I do believe that, as well; it's just that it's a bit sad not being able to go on and do any more tank battles in high school."
Harue nodded. Michelle, as a third-year, had once told her crew in passing that she was spending a great deal of time studying for her exams. Saunders, in spite of its team's love of tankery, had relatively few exhibition matches later in the year, and a reduced practice schedule, out of consideration for the third years who had exams. Their students were students first, and tankers second, but it was clear to Harue that Michelle would miss being the latter.
Of course, a part of Harue wanted to do better than this. Perhaps tankery was most entertaining if she took it seriously and aimed for the top, starting to win matches and face many new and more challenging opponents. Perhaps if she did, people like Michelle would be able to go on as long as they could.
Present Day
"For the most part, I was having too much fun to really process the idea of losing," Harue said. "Back then, things were simpler, and I wasn't as emotionally invested in the outcome."
"I see," Ami said. "You might be surprised to hear this from a disciple of the Nishizumi School, but that's a good perspective. To some extent, I do envy you for being able to enjoy tankery in a carefree manner, and to go into battle without worrying about the outcome."
"Yes, I've been thinking," Harue said. "Perhaps I was right back then, after all." Harue then turned to Masae. "But I'm also surprised to hear somewhat similar sentiments from you thus far, Instructor Atago."
"The Atago School stresses self-improvement, Akado-sensei," Masae said, "but always sees it as a means to an end, a way of enjoying tankery more deeply. In those regards, a defeat can be more valuable than a victory, provided that you give your all. And there's nothing wrong with having fun."
Harue paused, wondering what conclusions she would have drawn from the battle if she had approached it with that mindset.
"But if I may ask, why did you take the defeat against me so hard, Akado-san?" Ami said, as if on cue.
"A few different factors, which I'll get to eventually," Harue said, "but part of the reason was that I lost sight of my original goals, and another part was that I felt responsible for the defeat at an important juncture."
"Black Forest was far harsher, with its commanders being expected to win without fail," Takako said. "And to be blunt, the authority figures at our school were not content with the losers feeling sorry for themselves."
Harue reluctantly nodded to concede the point. After her team's first match in the most recent, she had heard tankery analysts suggest that while Saunders was at an advantage over most schools, it had little hope of defeating Pravda and virtually none of defeating Black Forest. She had thus urged her students to try hard and prove the skeptics wrong by defeating Black Forest, unaware that her school would lose to a school that supposedly had no chance, leading her to wonder whether her school's standing had improved at all.
"I suppose some things never change," Harue thought. "Even now, some Black Forest alumni still look down on Saunders and the struggles they go through."
"Of course, it's not like there weren't disciplinary measures and expectations at Saunders," Harue said. "Players had to earn their spots on the team, even if the competition wasn't as stiff back then. And those who broke the rules or did exceptionally poorly were dealt with accordingly."
"I see," Takako said, albeit unconvinced that it was at all comparable to Black Forest.
"So I was having fun, but also felt the need to improve and help my friends out," Harue said. "Over time, I lost sight of my original motivation, and when I failed to win, I fell into despair."
"I see," Takako said. "But let me tell you how things are done at Black Forest, a school that does not tolerate people failing or losing sight of what they must accomplish."
Author's Notes
This is another chapter meant to contrast Harue with the Black Forest trio, this time in her perspective on competitive tournaments. In Saki canon, I suspect Harue's attitude didn't change overnight as a result of her defeat in the semifinals, but may have gradually changed as a result of competing the tournament (although we won't know for certain until Shinohayu shows her POV- and it's currently up to only one of the four players in that match). This chapter is the beginning of this process.