Ami & Kikuyo 3: Pride and Joy

"In my third year, I became commander of the team," Ami said. "Takako and I, as well as a few others, applied, and evidently, it was a somewhat close decision."

"How close the decision was hardly mattered, though," Takako said. "The fact is that of all those who wanted to lead us, they trusted you the most. In the end, you became leader, while I remained a subordinate."

"What criteria did they use to choose the commander?" Harue said, trying to avoid giving any implication of bias, even though she had shared her opinions about Black Forest already.

"The new coach oversaw the process of choosing a commander," Ami said. "Among the many factors she chose, consistency was first and foremost. She preferred to choose a moderately experienced person with a solid record over one who was just starting out but was extremely promising, or one who had some experience, but also had a few black marks on her record."

Ami looked around the table, and noticed that Yoshiko, Masae and Harue looked slightly skeptical, wondering what would count as a "black mark" in the eyes of Black Forest.

"I'm sure that some of you may not always agree with the Nishizumi school," Ami said, "namely, Yoshiko, Akado-san and Instructor Atago. But please try to consider things from our perspective."

"I've gotten used to doing that lately," Masae said.

"I'm listening," Harue said.

"Shoot," Yoshiko said, in English.

"Tankery is Black Forest's pride and joy," Ami said. "Those who earn the right to represent the school on the field of high school tankery tournament see it as a great honor to be part of the champion team, no matter how minor their role is. Even those who aren't part of the tankery team can proudly say, 'Oh, Black Forest? The school that wins the tankery tournament year after year? That's my high school.' By continuing to win, we can continue to be proud of that. And it's because of that pride that our loss the year before I became commander was such a blow to morale."

Masae nodded.

"When you talk about 'pride,' I think of my eldest daughter, Hiroe," Masae said. "She's quite talented, but also proud and headstrong. For her, it was a bit of a shock to be defeated by Maho for the first time, but she recovered from her loss and emerged from it a better tanker. She's still unshakably confident, at times overconfident, but facing adversity, setbacks, and complete and utter defeat has made her a better tanker and a stronger person."

"We, too, strove to improve ourselves after our loss to avoid repeating ithe experience," Ami said. "We started adding more heavy tanks to our lineup for the finals, hoping that the enemy wouldn't be able to take us down so easily with a lucky strike. We also trained people accordingly- all our regulars from last year had to do well with their new tanks if they wanted to keep their spots on the team. And it's because they were willing to put in the time and relearn their roles that most of them able to keep their spots."

Masae nodded. She noticed that Black Forest had the ability to change its tactics over the years, although its focus on strict discipline remained constant. She had difficulty telling how much of it was due to the Nishizumi school's influence, but suspected Ami could not say for certain.

"You seemed less than confident about your chances of victory," Masae said. "Considering your training and your school's... ideology, I'm a bit surprised to hear this."

"We do feel considerable pressure to succeed the year after a defeat," Ami said. "And I, as commander, felt the lion's share of it. Even my closest friends looked to me as a commander, and, knowing the importance of my job and the weight of the responsibility, were mindful of how they acted around me."

10 years ago

The first round of the tournament had ended, and Black Forest had defeated Blue Division, breaking their offensive line almost immediately and disabling their flag tank as it made an attempt toescape. All involved on the Black Forest team knew that they had a long way to go to restore their school's reputation, but were glad to have won so easily. Perhaps people would conclude that what had happened in the previous finals had been a fluke, mitigating the blow to their school's reputation.

As Black Forest's commanders were walking off the field, Takako approached Ami.

"Good work out there today, Commander," Takako said.

"Thank you, Takako, but you don't need to call me that when the others aren't around," Ami said, as she looked around. The others were busy with their tasks related to getting Black Forest's team back to the school, and seemed oblivious to the presence of the team's commander, and one of the senior tank commanders.

"Maybe not," Takako said. "But does that change the reality of our situation? You are now in charge of the team, and have responsibility to all of us. You cannot afford to treat me differently than the others, nor can I expect special treatment."

"I understand my responsibilities for my position," Ami said. "And as such, I'll do what I believe fits best, believing in the skills that Instructor Nishizumi and the rest of my teachers and senpais have taught me over the years."

"That's true," Takako said. "But the new coach, while not completely inflexible about how we do things, is very insistent that we fulfill our obligations and meet the expectations of those watching us. I suspect part of the reason I was passed over for commander was because of the black mark I got on my record by accidentally overtaxing my engine last year. The coach has no desire to repeat her predecessor's mistakes, or fall short of absolute victory."

"The same can be said for me," Ami said. "It may be possible that we will have to come up with the strategy we use to win on our own, instead of merely falling back on what is familiar to us. I could use your help for this, Vice-captain."

"Yes, ma'am," Takako said, saluting.

A part of Ami realized that she had inherited an unenviable responsibility, to help Black Forest recover from its previous loss, and her position would force her to make difficult decisions regarding her friends, as well as be looked upon as a leader. But Ami knew someone had to take up this responsibility, and in spite of her reservations, felt prepared to do so. Succeeding and restarting Black Forest's winning streak was what she believed she owed the team, and what she wanted to do for her friends, her teammates and her school.

Present day

"Students of the Nishizumi School, as well as Black Forest, are only human," Ami said. "We doubt ourselves, feel the need to connect with others, and have times when we feel as though we're not up to our current task. Even if we do not often admit this openly, it does not make it any less true."

"I didn't always agree with Ami's decisions, and did often try to convince her to take my point of view," Takako said. "For example, when she concluded one under-performing tanker had to be cut from the team, I tried to convince her not to do so. But in the end, she was my commander, and I respected her decisions."

Ami sighed in slight disappointment, having known this all along, but being slightly disappointed to hear it.

"I had hoped that Takako's reason for obeying my decisions was more because she honestly believed that what I was doing was right than because she was my subordinate," Ami said. "But then, years later, I was Yoshiko's immediate superior for a little while, and I admit that the power imbalance did complicate our friendship. I erred a little on the side of caution and professionalism, and we didn't see as much of each other, even off duty, until Yoshiko was promoted to Captain."

"If I may say so, Captain Chouno," Yoshiko said, suddenly sounding more formal, "you've always been good at keeping your professional and private lives separate, ensuring that you always live up to your responsibilities and don't take your friends for granted. The least I could do is not take it personally if you seemed a little more distant than usual."

"I really appreciated it, Yoshiko," Ami said. "After all, I wasn't the only one having to deal with this."

"Yes, Ami-san is fairly understanding about this," Kikuyo said. "Like Takako-san, I ended up having to treat her with more respect while she was on duty, just like i treat her as I would any other guest at the Nishizumi house."

"Well, Kikuyo is a fairly pleasant individual overall," Ami said. "She's polite to people like clerks, service employees, and so forth, and can easily engage in polite conversation with someone she's just met. If she treats those below her station well, it naturally follows that she extends appropriate courtesy to her betters."

10 years ago

The day after Ami had won the first round, and after Ami had spoken with Takako about being commander, Ami met up with Kikuyo, who was looking out at the sea. After speaking with Takako, Ami decided to ask Kikuyo about whether she was her friend or her commander first.

"So, Kikuyo, now that I'm commander, how does that affect our relationship?" Ami said.

"Not much, Ami-san," Kikuyo said. "On duty, we still have our duties to uphold the honor of the Nishizumi School and repay Instructor Nishizumi for teaching us. The only difference is that you're now giving the orders."

"That's good to hear," Ami said. "Takako feels as though she has to distance herself from me a little now that I'm commander. She said she and I have our responsibilities to the team, albeit in different roles, and hers is to do what she can to support me."

Kikuyo shook her head.

"Actually, I spoke with Takako-san a little while before the match," Kikuyo said. "She's not bitter at all about you being picked over her, and is simply trying to advise you of how to lead, to ensure that you understand those principles and work hard to achieve the goal that we share, as students of Black Forest and the Nishizumi School."

"I understand," Ami said.

"And we're still here for you, Ami-san," Kikuyo said. "If you need a kind word or support, you can speak with me. If you need someone to knock you back to reality, speak with Takako-san.

"Thanks, Kikuyo," Ami said.

Ami realized that many people were counting on her to succeed, but many others believed in and supported her. Her responsibility was considerable, but her days at the Nishizumi school had helped her learn how to lead, and enabled her to make friends who would support her.

When she thought about it in those terms, she actually felt happy about tankery, and truly glad that she had gone down the path on which her parents had set her. She knew what goal she had for herself and her school, so now, all that remained was to put the skills that she had learned at the Nishizumi school to use so that she could accomplish that goal.

Present day

"After speaking with Kikuyo, I understood what Takako was trying to do," Ami said. "She- that is, both Kikuyo and Takako- was trying to support me, like subordinates are obligated to do for their leaders, and as part of the subordinates' effort for the collective goal. As harsh as the Nishizumi school's methods may seem to some, they're fundamentally based around the idea of doing everything you can so that you can fulfill your duties, and that your organization's goal is a success."

Takako nodded her head in approval.

"That nicely sums it up, Ami," Takako said. "I did try to help you out in a difficult position"

Ami smiled appreciatively, but her thoughts turned elsewhere. Black Forest's current situation was not unlike how it was when Ami commanded it. It was thus possible that Takako's actions were, at least in part, motivated by that. And it was possible that if Takako could say something like that, then her feelings towad Ami had not changed at all, in spite of their disagreements.

Masae found Ami's point easy to understand, even if she disagreed with how far it was taken. She then hoped to find out Kikuyo's philosophy, though.

"And what about you, Kagurazaki-san?" Masae said. "Did you have any designs on a leadership position?"

"No, Instructor Atago," Kikuyo said, "as far as tankery went, I was always a follower, never a leader, as I did not have the mindset or the desire to command others. I remained a radio operator for my high school tankery career, serving under three different tank commanders in each year of high school without leading myself."

"And what about the rest of your subordinates, Instructor Chouno?" Harue said. "Were you at all concerned about how they would view you, especially after the school's defeat the previous year?"

"Good question, Akado-san," Ami said. "There was a great deal of pressure, but I didn't feel as though the others were necessarily putting it on me specifically. I could tell that they wanted to win just as much as I did, and hoped that I could do my part for that goal."

Masae nodded, noticing that Ami, while confident, was not necessarily absolutely convinced of her ability to win.

"I think that's a good perspective, Instructor Chouno," Masae said. "But I must say that your candor is refreshing."

"I agree," Harue said. "And to think I believed that it all seemed easy for you when you won against us."

"Not entirely," Ami said. "As I said, we did feel a great deal of pressure to win, and the victory in the finals was by no means guaranteed, in large part because of your efforts."

Author's Notes

This chapter is partly to analyze what winning means to a former championship school, and why Black Forest was so desperate to regain its title. Of course, the next chapter will go back to Saunders' efforts to unseat the champion.

The title is another one with two meanings. It refers to both the phrase "pride and joy," as well as also to Black Forest's desire to restore its pride, and Ami's growing enjoyment of tankery.